Becoming the Best Version of YOU with Mary Kominska | RR297

Janice Porter: 00:00:02

Hi everyone, and welcome to this week's episode

Janice Porter: 00:00:05

of relationships rule. My guest today is Mary Kaminska, and I

Janice Porter: 00:00:10

want to just say Hi Mary and Welcome Hi Janice. Thank you so

Janice Porter: 00:00:14

much for having me My pleasure. Mary and I haven't known each

Janice Porter: 00:00:18

other that long. We did meet through a little networking

Janice Porter: 00:00:23

online group that we both belonged to, and took it from

Janice Porter: 00:00:28

there, really, because now we've connected in so many different

Janice Porter: 00:00:31

ways. And I want to just mention a couple of things, because Mary

Janice Porter: 00:00:35

is definitely an entrepreneur. She does so many different

Janice Porter: 00:00:38

things, and she helps a lot of people with the things that she

Janice Porter: 00:00:41

does, I think first and foremost, and I think what has

Janice Porter: 00:00:47

and correct me if I'm wrong, Mary, but what, what I think has

Janice Porter: 00:00:51

influenced her a lot in her life today is 18 years with a direct

Janice Porter: 00:00:58

sales company, And that's a long time, and I know from my

Janice Porter: 00:01:03

experience with network marketing, same thing, network

Janice Porter: 00:01:05

marketing, direct sales, are under the same umbrella. I have

Janice Porter: 00:01:09

learned and and been been drawn to, a lot of personal growth.

Janice Porter: 00:01:17

And I think you probably would agree with me. I'm not sure what

Janice Porter: 00:01:20

do you say to that?

Mary Kominska: 00:01:21

Oh, I agree. 100% when I worked in corporate, I I

Mary Kominska: 00:01:25

was never given that opportunity. They don't really

Mary Kominska: 00:01:27

want you to grow. Yeah, and right? And so you, you kind of

Mary Kominska: 00:01:32

have to, when you're your own boss, you have to figure things

Mary Kominska: 00:01:34

out. So I 100% that's one of the many things I love about being

Mary Kominska: 00:01:38

an entrepreneur, is I'm forced to grow. Yeah,

Janice Porter: 00:01:41

exactly. So along with the direct sales company

Janice Porter: 00:01:44

that you've been with for all of that time, I know that you that

Janice Porter: 00:01:49

you're certified mindset coach, certified master mindset coach,

Janice Porter: 00:01:55

and you also teach this four week course called T, as in T,

Janice Porter: 00:02:03

dot, e dot, a which stands for thoughts guide our emotions and

Janice Porter: 00:02:07

influence our actions. And I want to start there, because I

Janice Porter: 00:02:10

just took this course with you, and I know my audience can't see

Janice Porter: 00:02:14

this, but eventually, maybe they will. And that is the booklet

Janice Porter: 00:02:17

that went with the course called T. And you did such a great job,

Janice Porter: 00:02:21

Mary, that I wanted to start there, because everything about

Janice Porter: 00:02:25

that program speaks to relationship, and in this case,

Janice Porter: 00:02:30

relationship with self, and it's really an important thing that a

Janice Porter: 00:02:35

lot of us let go by the wayside Having self care and learning

Janice Porter: 00:02:41

more about ourselves and being not so hard on ourselves all the

Janice Porter: 00:02:47

time. So I'd love you to tell my audience a little bit about the

Janice Porter: 00:02:50

program and maybe even how it started, and what your what your

Janice Porter: 00:02:55

wishes for it.

Mary Kominska: 00:02:57

I love that. Thank you, Janice, and I was so

Mary Kominska: 00:02:59

grateful that you joined it and that you found value in it. And

Mary Kominska: 00:03:04

the journey to be where I am is quite interesting. And I think

Mary Kominska: 00:03:08

everyone is because we all have a story. I it was in 2018 and if

Mary Kominska: 00:03:15

you had asked me if I had boundaries, I said yes, but I

Mary Kominska: 00:03:18

really didn't. I would tell you what you could or couldn't do,

Mary Kominska: 00:03:22

but I didn't really know how to communicate it, and I sure as

Mary Kominska: 00:03:25

heck didn't know how to follow through with it. And so the day

Mary Kominska: 00:03:29

that I needed to call the police, and my son was arrested

Mary Kominska: 00:03:32

from my house for using heroin, there happened to be a

Mary Kominska: 00:03:35

boundaries class that night, and I said yes, and I went down

Mary Kominska: 00:03:39

there, not knowing what I was walking into. Lots of signs

Mary Kominska: 00:03:43

pointed me to why I was supposed to be there. So I ended up,

Mary Kominska: 00:03:46

after a year of practicing, get a phone call asking if I would

Mary Kominska: 00:03:51

be interested in CO facilitating the class. And I was like,

Mary Kominska: 00:03:54

You're funny. Like, I ain't got these figured out. And, and she

Mary Kominska: 00:03:58

said, No. She said, You are practicing them. That's what

Mary Kominska: 00:04:01

it's all about. And and I'm seeing the results of what

Mary Kominska: 00:04:04

you're doing with your son and even with your business. And so

Mary Kominska: 00:04:08

I really just, I want, I want you to spend some time and just

Mary Kominska: 00:04:12

really process that. And what have I got to lose, right? Like,

Mary Kominska: 00:04:16

I'm going to learn. Because a lot of times when we teach, we

Mary Kominska: 00:04:19

learn even more than that, absolutely, right. And so that

Mary Kominska: 00:04:23

started a beautiful journey, and did that for over three years.

Mary Kominska: 00:04:28

And even when COVID hit, it was in person, and we were at the

Mary Kominska: 00:04:33

process wanting it to go to multiple locations. It was only

Mary Kominska: 00:04:37

at one location, and we were wanting it to get to multiple

Mary Kominska: 00:04:39

locations. And then we had finally gotten one at one

Mary Kominska: 00:04:44

location, the one at the big location where I was and COVID

Mary Kominska: 00:04:47

hit, and we had to figure out what to do and zoom it became.

Mary Kominska: 00:04:52

And so we took those two courses and and then everything was on

Mary Kominska: 00:04:56

Zoom. And Janice, you gotta realize, I heard you say four

Mary Kominska: 00:04:58

weeks, and you just went through. Four weeks when I first

Mary Kominska: 00:05:01

took the course the boundaries, actual course itself, it was

Mary Kominska: 00:05:06

nine weeks. It then became 13 weeks because everybody wanted

Mary Kominska: 00:05:10

it longer. It was also two and a half hours

Janice Porter: 00:05:13

each each class, each week, each week. So what

Janice Porter: 00:05:17

was the actual name? It wasn't just called boundaries. Oh, just

Janice Porter: 00:05:20

boundaries. Okay.

Mary Kominska: 00:05:23

Dr Henry Cloud and Townsend are the ones who

Mary Kominska: 00:05:27

wrote it. It's been around for years. Oh, okay. It is very,

Mary Kominska: 00:05:30

very scripture. Heavy. It is. It was very biblical, blue written,

Mary Kominska: 00:05:36

okay, and but it's very, it was very life changing for me. One

Mary Kominska: 00:05:41

of the things that I found throughout it though Janice is

Mary Kominska: 00:05:46

they never talked about thoughts. And so I would come

Mary Kominska: 00:05:48

along as a facilitator, saying, everything starts in your

Mary Kominska: 00:05:51

thoughts. So as a facilitator, I could kind of create my own

Mary Kominska: 00:05:53

thing. And I mean, the the concept is great, and it was

Mary Kominska: 00:05:56

fab, feelings, attitudes, behavior. And so when the time

Mary Kominska: 00:06:01

came, the main guy who was facilitating it with me, life

Mary Kominska: 00:06:05

had changed for him. Life had changed for me. And I knew that

Mary Kominska: 00:06:10

I was being called to write this course, but I also knew that it

Mary Kominska: 00:06:15

was to have zero scripture. It was only to be about the human

Mary Kominska: 00:06:19

experience, so that anybody, it does not matter and and I

Mary Kominska: 00:06:23

haven't figured out a better term, so please forgive me,

Mary Kominska: 00:06:26

because I really don't know a better way to say this, but I

Mary Kominska: 00:06:29

dumbed it down so that anybody, probably freshmen, maybe even

Mary Kominska: 00:06:34

eighth grade, all the way to 100 years old, could understand and

Mary Kominska: 00:06:38

grasp what's In this course. So it took nine months to write,

Mary Kominska: 00:06:43

and that was in 2023 so kind of like birthing a baby, right? I

Mary Kominska: 00:06:49

have a friend who actually, you got to know her through the

Mary Kominska: 00:06:53

course, Pam and I, she was, she became a facilitator with us as

Mary Kominska: 00:06:57

well in the boundaries journey. And so I had called her and

Mary Kominska: 00:07:00

said, Hey, what would you think about helping me on this

Mary Kominska: 00:07:04

journey? She's like, I think it's great. I think it's exactly

Mary Kominska: 00:07:06

what's needed, as well as my sister. I had involved her in it

Mary Kominska: 00:07:12

as well. And so the three of us, kind of, in a roundabout way, I

Mary Kominska: 00:07:16

wrote it, but they helped bring it to life. And it was, I

Mary Kominska: 00:07:20

started it January of 24 and it was simply a so I rotate one

Mary Kominska: 00:07:27

month it's on Zoom, the next month is in person, here in

Mary Kominska: 00:07:30

Mesa, on zoom in person. And it was, I would print you each week

Mary Kominska: 00:07:34

and bring it or email it to you. And through that same networking

Mary Kominska: 00:07:38

group that we met, I also got to meet Rebecca, who was a

Mary Kominska: 00:07:41

published author, and did a one to one with her, and she's like,

Mary Kominska: 00:07:44

Mary, you're 95% done. Why don't you make it a workbook? And I

Mary Kominska: 00:07:47

was like, Oh, wait, what? So did not see published author

Mary Kominska: 00:07:52

becoming part of this journey. So hopefully that answers kind

Mary Kominska: 00:07:55

of your

Janice Porter: 00:07:55

question. Well, it does, it does so. But when

Janice Porter: 00:07:58

you were, you know, reaching out and searching because you were

Janice Porter: 00:08:03

dealing with the issues with your son. Was it through the

Janice Porter: 00:08:07

church that you would find this boundaries? Course, then, is

Janice Porter: 00:08:10

that it? Yes,

Mary Kominska: 00:08:10

okay, 100% and there was a lot of my people in

Mary Kominska: 00:08:13

my life that I love dearly, that because it was at a church, they

Mary Kominska: 00:08:16

wouldn't take the class, but I knew that they needed it in

Mary Kominska: 00:08:19

their lives, right?

Janice Porter: 00:08:22

Well, I think instead of saying you're dumbing

Janice Porter: 00:08:24

it down, I think maybe that what you you might want to think

Janice Porter: 00:08:28

about is saying something like you SEC secularized, that if I

Janice Porter: 00:08:33

can say that word and or that you that you wanted it to reach

Janice Porter: 00:08:38

more people. So you, I like that. Put it in lay terms, or

Janice Porter: 00:08:42

you made it about, like you said, you said, the you use the

Janice Porter: 00:08:46

term, it's about the power of the human right, or the, yeah,

Janice Porter: 00:08:51

the human experience, that yeah, so that to make it about the

Janice Porter: 00:08:54

human experience. And I think, and you say, I've got a quote

Janice Porter: 00:08:58

here from you. She's, I say you're passionate about

Janice Porter: 00:09:00

empowering people to be the best and beautiful you that you were

Janice Porter: 00:09:05

created to be inside and out. And that's really the essence

Janice Porter: 00:09:09

that it could be, right? So yeah, and I like

Mary Kominska: 00:09:12

that. Thank you for those new words. And see

Mary Kominska: 00:09:14

that's another thing about growth. Every day is an

Mary Kominska: 00:09:16

opportunity to learn something different and to flip the script

Mary Kominska: 00:09:20

on what you say,

Janice Porter: 00:09:21

yeah. I wanted more people to experience it,

Janice Porter: 00:09:23

yeah. So I put it into language, or I put it into a layman's

Janice Porter: 00:09:28

terms, yeah, layman's terms. I put it into a way that more

Janice Porter: 00:09:30

people could, that I could reach more people with it. And I think

Janice Porter: 00:09:33

that's the key right there. And one of the sections in the

Janice Porter: 00:09:41

course that you that, that I just experienced was, was the

Janice Porter: 00:09:45

the last one, which is about self care, self care, and that's

Janice Porter: 00:09:51

where so many of us struggle, because we don't realize what we

Janice Porter: 00:09:54

don't what we're doing to ourselves, and we don't realize

Janice Porter: 00:09:57

what's what's missing. Perhaps. Or how our life could be more

Janice Porter: 00:10:02

fun or more full or whatever, until somebody stops us in our

Janice Porter: 00:10:06

tracks and says, Hey, you know, are you doing this? This, this

Janice Porter: 00:10:10

and this, or are you not doing this? This is this. And I

Janice Porter: 00:10:13

noticed everybody was different in the class, you know, like you

Janice Porter: 00:10:19

ask us a question to share or something, I'm always the first

Janice Porter: 00:10:22

one to speak, because I don't want it to be dead silence, and

Janice Porter: 00:10:25

I don't know what I'm going to say, but I usually will, you

Janice Porter: 00:10:27

know, try to break the ice, because that's who I am. And

Janice Porter: 00:10:30

some people are more reluctant, and I feel as though they were

Janice Porter: 00:10:33

heavier. Some of the people that were there, you know, and had

Janice Porter: 00:10:36

more issues. I don't think I've ever been, um, in I don't know,

Janice Porter: 00:10:45

like this is a good question. Actually, we all have our

Janice Porter: 00:10:48

struggles, and we all have our problems, and we all have our

Janice Porter: 00:10:51

problem people in our lives and things like that, and but I have

Janice Porter: 00:10:55

not walked in the shoes that you've walked in, and I I know

Janice Porter: 00:10:59

that you're an open book, and I know that your story is on your

Janice Porter: 00:11:03

website, and it's a long one, and it's a troubled one. I mean,

Janice Porter: 00:11:06

you've been through hell and back, to be honest, in many

Janice Porter: 00:11:10

ways, from when you were a child, and to look at you now,

Janice Porter: 00:11:12

which is how I met you, I would have had no idea. Okay, so kudos

Janice Porter: 00:11:17

to you for being strong enough to bring yourself through all of

Janice Porter: 00:11:23

the the issues in your world and help and now helping others. But

Janice Porter: 00:11:31

I don't know. I never had that. I had a normal upbringing with

Janice Porter: 00:11:37

two parents who and a sister, and, you know, yeah, my parents

Janice Porter: 00:11:41

fought, but you know, it wasn't like your life that I read

Janice Porter: 00:11:46

about. And so I always wonder, if you haven't had the extremes,

Janice Porter: 00:11:52

whether you can grow as much. I don't know if that's making

Janice Porter: 00:11:57

sense, but no, it

Mary Kominska: 00:11:58

completely makes sense. And I here, here's what I

Mary Kominska: 00:12:01

can tell you my sister, for example, I met her at the bus

Mary Kominska: 00:12:05

stop of seventh grade.

Janice Porter: 00:12:07

She, oh, wait a second, that's now what you who

Janice Porter: 00:12:09

you call your sister? Yes. What was her name?

Mary Kominska: 00:12:11

Legally Tammy. Tammy, right. Yeah, okay. Her

Mary Kominska: 00:12:15

family legally adopted me on my 17th birthday, as you read in my

Mary Kominska: 00:12:18

story, right? So I made her at the bus stop of seventh grade.

Mary Kominska: 00:12:22

Yeah, and you have to read the about me on my website to find

Mary Kominska: 00:12:26

out the on that. A little teaser for you. But she was that way.

Mary Kominska: 00:12:30

She grew up with two parents and and two siblings and

Janice Porter: 00:12:34

and, and you wanted her family, you wanted to

Mary Kominska: 00:12:37

did. I did, right? And so, but even when I

Mary Kominska: 00:12:41

got inside, it wasn't all roses and right, but flies, right? I

Mary Kominska: 00:12:46

mean, the majority of it was, don't get me wrong, but every

Mary Kominska: 00:12:49

family has their own thing, and even if it's not you, there is

Mary Kominska: 00:12:53

somebody in your life. If you and I love that, your whole

Mary Kominska: 00:12:56

thing is about relationships, because that's what I'm about to

Mary Kominska: 00:12:58

write, personal and professional. You really get to

Mary Kominska: 00:13:01

know somebody by asking them the right questions. A lot of us, so

Mary Kominska: 00:13:06

we come from the generation of it's none your business. Shove

Mary Kominska: 00:13:10

it under the rug. What happens behind closed doors stays behind

Mary Kominska: 00:13:13

closed doors. And so like for me, I was dying inside on the

Mary Kominska: 00:13:19

outside, just like I heard you say you would never have guessed

Mary Kominska: 00:13:21

the one I walked through, I wasn't I wasn't told I should

Mary Kominska: 00:13:25

have won an Academy Award, because nobody would have ever

Mary Kominska: 00:13:28

guessed right, and because I didn't want anybody to know.

Mary Kominska: 00:13:33

Yeah, but that was stressful. It is, it is so not healthy. It is

Mary Kominska: 00:13:38

so not healthy. And hurt people, hurt people. So I was a hurt

Mary Kominska: 00:13:42

human, hurting other humans, but it wasn't what I meant to do.

Mary Kominska: 00:13:45

That's not what I wanted to do, but you were hurting yourself

Mary Kominska: 00:13:48

too. I was, I was and I didn't think that anything was wrong

Mary Kominska: 00:13:52

with me. And going to a therapist has such a stigma, and

Mary Kominska: 00:13:55

I'm so grateful that we're finally getting to the point

Mary Kominska: 00:13:58

where it's healthy to go. It's not a stigma to go but I think

Mary Kominska: 00:14:02

two of the important things Janice is I know that when I

Mary Kominska: 00:14:06

started in network marketing and I started having a team, I

Mary Kominska: 00:14:10

became a leader. I never saw myself as a leader. Just because

Mary Kominska: 00:14:14

I had people on the team, I never saw myself as a leader.

Mary Kominska: 00:14:17

And so when I heard the words, the hardest person you're ever

Mary Kominska: 00:14:20

going to lead is yourself. That was powerful to me, because we

Mary Kominska: 00:14:25

lead people all day long. We lead our spouses, we lead our

Mary Kominska: 00:14:28

children, we lead our friends. But it's true, the hardest

Mary Kominska: 00:14:32

person we ever lead is ourselves and boundaries. Sure, boundaries

Mary Kominska: 00:14:36

is about other people, but the hardest people we ever have

Mary Kominska: 00:14:38

boundaries with is ourselves. Yeah, right. So even if you have

Mary Kominska: 00:14:43

not had the to Hell and Back life that I have, there's still

Mary Kominska: 00:14:49

always something that's so deep bedded in in our subconscious

Mary Kominska: 00:14:54

that's causing you to do what you do today that stems all the

Mary Kominska: 00:14:57

way back that you

Janice Porter: 00:14:58

don't even have a memory. Yes. Yes, yes, I can

Janice Porter: 00:15:01

think of an example too. Actually, I struggle daily with

Janice Porter: 00:15:06

my relationship with my girls, my two daughters, they're

Janice Porter: 00:15:11

leading their own lives and they're they're here, but

Janice Porter: 00:15:13

they're leading their own lives, and they're busy and whatever,

Janice Porter: 00:15:15

and they don't call, you know, they text when they want

Janice Porter: 00:15:21

something. And then my daughter, one one of my daughters, was

Janice Porter: 00:15:24

away for two weeks, and she on business, and she was really

Janice Porter: 00:15:27

sick when she got home, so I didn't see her. She was supposed

Janice Porter: 00:15:30

to come over Sunday. I didn't see her, so I called Monday to

Janice Porter: 00:15:33

see how she was like I said, You want me to send food over? Do

Janice Porter: 00:15:36

you want me? Whatever? No, I'm just going to go to sleep, Mom,

Janice Porter: 00:15:40

I I call on FaceTime, and she doesn't take my call, and then I

Janice Porter: 00:15:44

called her again last night. She's got no time, no time, and

Janice Porter: 00:15:47

so I'm supposed to understand that and let it be right. And

Janice Porter: 00:15:52

then I It eats me up inside, and then I have this other piece

Janice Porter: 00:15:57

that's in my back of my mind, saying how I was when my mother

Janice Porter: 00:16:02

called me, yeah, and my mother would say, I haven't heard from

Janice Porter: 00:16:07

you for two weeks, and right away, my back's up right, right?

Janice Porter: 00:16:11

So it's just, it's so weird, but it's all, it's there, like it's

Janice Porter: 00:16:16

inside, or it is

Mary Kominska: 00:16:18

way so subconscious. Yeah, it is so

Mary Kominska: 00:16:20

subconscious. But you know, it's interesting, Janice, because

Mary Kominska: 00:16:23

what I just heard you say was so powerful. You I didn't hear

Mary Kominska: 00:16:28

these words until my son was 25 years old. Raise your children

Mary Kominska: 00:16:31

to leave you and not need you, right? Yeah. And so that's not

Mary Kominska: 00:16:35

what I was shown. That's not what my friends were shown, but

Mary Kominska: 00:16:39

that's absolutely what you did with your girls. The other thing

Mary Kominska: 00:16:42

that was powerful that I heard you say, and I've had this

Mary Kominska: 00:16:44

struggle with some friends and my son as well, how come you

Mary Kominska: 00:16:47

only call me when you need something? Yeah, right. And they

Mary Kominska: 00:16:52

should be glad that they're calling us right, right? But at

Mary Kominska: 00:16:54

the same token, call us because you want to know how we are. You

Mary Kominska: 00:16:58

want, like, not because you want something from us, right? And I

Mary Kominska: 00:17:03

think that that's super important with relationships.

Mary Kominska: 00:17:05

Don't be the person that the only time you call someone is

Mary Kominska: 00:17:09

because you need something from them, right? And I think during

Mary Kominska: 00:17:12

COVID, that was a really big wake up call, just checking in.

Mary Kominska: 00:17:16

How are you? How are you feeling through all this? How's your

Mary Kominska: 00:17:18

family? And let's not get away from that just because we're

Mary Kominska: 00:17:23

four or five years past it. Let's stick true to that, right?

Mary Kominska: 00:17:27

And, and just a simple phone call, and even if they don't

Mary Kominska: 00:17:31

answer, leave a voicemail, you know, hey, checking in on you.

Mary Kominska: 00:17:34

How you doing? We'd love to hear your voice. Yeah, you don't want

Mary Kominska: 00:17:37

anything. And I think that as relationships, we need to get

Mary Kominska: 00:17:41

back to that.

Janice Porter: 00:17:44

Yeah, it's very true. It's very true. So how do

Janice Porter: 00:17:47

you how do you divide your time? Or do you, because I know that

Janice Porter: 00:17:51

you've done as I have, and I love this that you've done on

Janice Porter: 00:17:54

your website, you've got in your your sections of your website,

Janice Porter: 00:17:59

have your course, and then what you call inside beauty, outside

Janice Porter: 00:18:03

beauty. So you've got an umbrella over the things that

Janice Porter: 00:18:05

you do, which love the best and beautiful you. And how do you

Janice Porter: 00:18:09

divide your time? Does it come and you're very organized about

Janice Porter: 00:18:12

your time. So do you or do you lean towards like, Do you love

Janice Porter: 00:18:19

life coaching right now more than you love doing your your

Janice Porter: 00:18:23

Avon business. I don't mind saying that it's your Avon

Janice Porter: 00:18:25

business or, you know, or is it the course that you're promoting

Janice Porter: 00:18:29

and then teaching? So how do you balance it all? Or do you

Mary Kominska: 00:18:33

Well, it's kind of a juggling act, because on

Mary Kominska: 00:18:35

top of all that, I've also added such oh yes Jean yes to to as if

Mary Kominska: 00:18:41

I don't have enough to do. And I, as you learned in the T

Mary Kominska: 00:18:44

course, I talk about jam sessions, I talk about, I love

Mary Kominska: 00:18:47

that. And it's not time management, it's person

Mary Kominska: 00:18:50

management, right? Because we all have 24 hours a day, seven

Mary Kominska: 00:18:53

days a week. There is not one person that, because you have a

Mary Kominska: 00:18:57

different skin color or your bank account looks different,

Mary Kominska: 00:18:59

you don't have any more time or less time than I do, so it

Mary Kominska: 00:19:01

doesn't matter, right? And so when I learned that it was

Mary Kominska: 00:19:05

person management, and again, back to boundaries and leading

Mary Kominska: 00:19:08

myself is where that comes from. And so I do them in chunks and I

Mary Kominska: 00:19:12

do them in jam sessions, but I also have to allow myself time

Mary Kominska: 00:19:16

to fill up on me, going back to week four of the course, right?

Mary Kominska: 00:19:20

Self care, I have to fill up on me. And so the last two days, I

Mary Kominska: 00:19:25

have not been Go, go, go out of the home. I've been Go, go, go

Mary Kominska: 00:19:30

in the home, but I gave myself two extra naps. What is that?

Mary Kominska: 00:19:34

Right? Today is a go, go, go. But as you also learned in the T

Mary Kominska: 00:19:39

course, I do a lot of white space, and I give myself 30

Mary Kominska: 00:19:42

minutes in between. Heck, I gave myself an hour in between my

Mary Kominska: 00:19:46

last one to meet you, and I barely made it by the center,

Mary Kominska: 00:19:50

because again, I got stuck by a train and I got stuck by

Mary Kominska: 00:19:52

somebody wanted to have a conversation with me. So you

Mary Kominska: 00:19:56

have to find your sweet spot. And so when you're juggling

Mary Kominska: 00:19:59

multiple. Things You know, even think about a young mama, um,

Mary Kominska: 00:20:03

you're juggling a job, you're juggling activities, you're

Mary Kominska: 00:20:07

juggling food prep, you're juggling shopping, you're

Mary Kominska: 00:20:09

juggling all these things you've got to make sure that you fill

Mary Kominska: 00:20:13

up on you first and foremost before you pour out

Janice Porter: 00:20:16

to everything and everybody else put the life mask

Janice Porter: 00:20:18

on you before anybody right? You learned last night, good job,

Janice Porter: 00:20:21

yeah, oh yeah. I that one, I know, but I thought about you

Janice Porter: 00:20:27

today, because after my my last call, it was over at noon, my

Janice Porter: 00:20:34

time, and I wanted to go grab a bite to eat. And so I I got

Janice Porter: 00:20:38

myself a sandwich and a cup of tea, and I put the TV on, and I

Janice Porter: 00:20:41

sat down for half an hour, and I thought about you, and I

Janice Porter: 00:20:44

thought, yeah, Mary would approve of this. So this is,

Janice Porter: 00:20:47

yeah, yeah. And then back at it.

Mary Kominska: 00:20:48

No, you, they couldn't see me. I was talking

Mary Kominska: 00:20:50

for you.

Janice Porter: 00:20:52

So it's, it's, um, yeah, it's, it's, it's,

Janice Porter: 00:20:55

actually, it's, it's kind of the reward, in a way, for being

Janice Porter: 00:21:02

one's own boss and being able to, you know, make those

Janice Porter: 00:21:05

decisions. But we have to do it wisely, and we have to,

Janice Porter: 00:21:08

otherwise we're not going to get anywhere. Of course. We have to

Janice Porter: 00:21:11

have those boundaries, but we also have to have those that the

Janice Porter: 00:21:17

drive to to get up and go back to work, you know, to do it.

Mary Kominska: 00:21:21

Yeah. And how many times have you said, or

Mary Kominska: 00:21:23

have you heard somebody say when you ask, how are you Oh, I'm

Mary Kominska: 00:21:26

busy. Oh, I'm busy. Busy doing what? Busy chasing your tail.

Mary Kominska: 00:21:30

Because that's, that's what I used to do, until I learned

Mary Kominska: 00:21:33

these skills and put them to use and all that. And so there's a

Mary Kominska: 00:21:36

difference between being busy and being productive. And so you

Mary Kominska: 00:21:40

were productive by sitting down having lunch, watching that 30

Mary Kominska: 00:21:44

minutes of TV, you were productive because then you're

Mary Kominska: 00:21:48

you're you're taking your body down, you're calming your

Mary Kominska: 00:21:52

cortisol, you're doing all that so that you can then go be

Mary Kominska: 00:21:55

productive, right? Work again. So even if you're sitting on the

Mary Kominska: 00:21:59

couch eating Bon Bon, you are being productive for like, two

Mary Kominska: 00:22:03

hours. I'm

Janice Porter: 00:22:04

just saying, yeah, yeah. Just saying, right.

Janice Porter: 00:22:06

So in the back of the book that the book workbook that we have

Janice Porter: 00:22:12

from your course, there's a very long list of books that you have

Janice Porter: 00:22:15

read and recommend. Do you read constantly? Are you reading now?

Janice Porter: 00:22:20

What are you reading now? So

Mary Kominska: 00:22:22

right now, I actually was, I love being on

Mary Kominska: 00:22:25

book launches, and I was on a book launch for the book that

Mary Kominska: 00:22:28

I'm reading now, and it was, I am an audible girl, so okay, to

Mary Kominska: 00:22:33

my sister for a second, I have a stack of books, and I always had

Mary Kominska: 00:22:37

intentions of reading them, but to sit and actually do that. It

Mary Kominska: 00:22:41

was just too hard. But when I'm folding laundry or I'm doing

Mary Kominska: 00:22:45

doing mundane things, I can listen. So my sister turned me

Mary Kominska: 00:22:48

on to Audible, and I fought her. You know, typical,

Janice Porter: 00:22:51

typical. I'm still fighting it, because I'm

Janice Porter: 00:22:52

not, I know.

Mary Kominska: 00:22:54

I know. Well, I'm telling you, it's powerful. It's

Mary Kominska: 00:22:56

powerful.

Janice Porter: 00:22:56

Well, I listen to podcasts, so I'm sure it

Janice Porter: 00:22:58

wouldn't be that big of

Mary Kominska: 00:22:59

it is so good. It is so good. And so I found that

Mary Kominska: 00:23:04

even as being on the book launch, because I needed to read

Mary Kominska: 00:23:07

it on Kindle, even just to sit and do that, it was so hard I

Mary Kominska: 00:23:09

don't like doing so I know. And so it came out on the 21st and

Mary Kominska: 00:23:15

it was on Audible, and I already pre ordered it on Audible, so,

Mary Kominska: 00:23:18

but it's called joyful outsiders. And so I believe most

Mary Kominska: 00:23:25

people know what FOMO is. Do you know what FOMO is? What is FOMO?

Mary Kominska: 00:23:29

Fear Of Missing Out. Okay, what is Jomo? Let's flip that script.

Mary Kominska: 00:23:33

What's Jomo?

Janice Porter: 00:23:34

I'm going to guess his joy of missing out,

Janice Porter: 00:23:37

absolutely,

Mary Kominska: 00:23:38

absolutely. And even as I was learning

Mary Kominska: 00:23:40

boundaries, and I was learning different things, that being a I

Mary Kominska: 00:23:48

always had this FOMO, I always had this fear of missing out.

Mary Kominska: 00:23:51

And so years ago, I flipped the script to Jomo and so, and then

Mary Kominska: 00:23:55

I always felt like an outsider. I've always felt like an

Mary Kominska: 00:23:57

outsider. I've always felt like an outsider. And so when this

Mary Kominska: 00:24:01

book now, these authors, they are pastors, just for clarity,

Mary Kominska: 00:24:04

yeah, they did write a book called Truth over tribe, which

Mary Kominska: 00:24:07

was a very powerful book, and that's how I met them. And so

Mary Kominska: 00:24:11

then they have a podcast. So I started listening to their

Mary Kominska: 00:24:13

podcast after I read their book. And then on the podcast, they

Mary Kominska: 00:24:16

announced they were doing the book launch, and because of I

Mary Kominska: 00:24:19

know they're not going to be able to be able to see it,

Mary Kominska: 00:24:21

Janice, but you will. It's okay. So as being part of the book

Mary Kominska: 00:24:25

launch, the first 100 people, got this cool Jomo hat. Love it.

Janice Porter: 00:24:30

Hang on. Hang on.

Mary Kominska: 00:24:32

Okay, okay, okay,

Janice Porter: 00:24:33

okay, alright, here we go. Ready Set smile.

Janice Porter: 00:24:38

Okay, that's very cute. Very cute. Alright,

Mary Kominska: 00:24:42

so joyful. Outsiders is what I'm listening

Mary Kominska: 00:24:44

to now. I do a book a month. Sometimes I do maybe a little

Mary Kominska: 00:24:48

bit more. I have a few extra credits because I've been

Mary Kominska: 00:24:54

listening to more podcasts, listening to your podcast,

Mary Kominska: 00:24:57

listening to some newer ones that i. I've been introduced to,

Mary Kominska: 00:25:01

but when I'm in my car, it's podcast and audible. I don't

Mary Kominska: 00:25:05

listen to music. I don't listen to any of them I know. So yeah,

Mary Kominska: 00:25:09

that's what I'm reading now. And that that list in the back that

Mary Kominska: 00:25:11

is, trust me, I had to narrow it down, and it was really hard to

Mary Kominska: 00:25:16

narrow down, because that list is probably five times what I've

Mary Kominska: 00:25:20

actually read five times more than what made it in the

Mary Kominska: 00:25:23

workbook.

Janice Porter: 00:25:24

Wow, that's amazing. So are you still as

Janice Porter: 00:25:28

excited about building a team in your direct sales company as you

Janice Porter: 00:25:36

were back when you started?

Mary Kominska: 00:25:38

So here, that's a great question. And so here's

Mary Kominska: 00:25:41

what I have to tell you. The answer is yes. With the however,

Mary Kominska: 00:25:46

in the very beginning, again, I didn't see myself as a leader,

Mary Kominska: 00:25:49

but the person, and not even the person who brought me to the

Mary Kominska: 00:25:51

business, but her person, saw something in me that I didn't

Mary Kominska: 00:25:55

see in myself. And that's usually how it goes, right?

Mary Kominska: 00:25:56

Yeah. And so I had built this team. I was, at one point I was

Mary Kominska: 00:26:00

like number two in Arizona, and then Avon made some poor

Mary Kominska: 00:26:04

choices. Mary made some poor choices. Life happens, and the

Mary Kominska: 00:26:08

last couple of years it I haven't even offered the

Mary Kominska: 00:26:11

business at all the last couple of years. However, December of

Mary Kominska: 00:26:16

24 they made some incredible changes to where I've started

Mary Kominska: 00:26:20

offering the opportunity at a couple times a week now. So it's

Mary Kominska: 00:26:24

almost like there's this new found, fresh excitement that has

Mary Kominska: 00:26:28

come on to me. That was there 18 and a half will be 19 years in

Mary Kominska: 00:26:33

June, that I joined this business, right? And so it's

Mary Kominska: 00:26:36

back, and I'm super excited about it.

Janice Porter: 00:26:38

That's interesting, because it's, it's,

Janice Porter: 00:26:40

it's actually very similar with Send Out Cards I just got. I was

Janice Porter: 00:26:45

on a call yesterday because there they asked me to be part

Janice Porter: 00:26:49

of this group to beta test this new card editor that's coming

Janice Porter: 00:26:54

out soon, which is really exciting. And there were a

Janice Porter: 00:26:57

couple of people on this call that I hadn't seen for years,

Janice Porter: 00:27:01

who have just resurfaced, and it seems like that's what's

Janice Porter: 00:27:05

happening. Maybe it's the world, maybe it's the industry, maybe

Janice Porter: 00:27:09

it's just these people that have come back around. But there's

Janice Porter: 00:27:13

something happening because, well, there's a lot happening,

Janice Porter: 00:27:17

right, especially in the United States, but we don't want yeah,

Janice Porter: 00:27:20

there is, yeah, and I think even

Mary Kominska: 00:27:22

on Facebook memories. I just love Facebook

Mary Kominska: 00:27:25

memories. But two years ago, this right now, I was in New

Mary Kominska: 00:27:30

York. I was one of 50 out of 10s of 1000s selected to be a voice

Mary Kominska: 00:27:35

for the field. And so I got to go to New York and be I. It was

Mary Kominska: 00:27:40

brand beehive. Was a group I was in. A lot did not come out of

Mary Kominska: 00:27:45

that. There's been some shift. And LG, which is a Korean, South

Mary Kominska: 00:27:49

Korean based company, they bought the North America side of

Mary Kominska: 00:27:53

Avon back, yes. And so their home and household, that's why

Mary Kominska: 00:27:58

we can offer Korean beauty that we have, and they own reach and

Mary Kominska: 00:28:03

example. And now Canada and Avon are uniting forces. So now

Mary Kominska: 00:28:07

Canada is now part of the US, and they're still trying to make

Mary Kominska: 00:28:10

it to where people in Canada, I don't know if it's going to

Mary Kominska: 00:28:13

happen, because I know there's all the tariffs, all those

Mary Kominska: 00:28:15

different things, but, but now Canada and the US coming

Mary Kominska: 00:28:20

together. I think that that was a really good shift for Avon as

Mary Kominska: 00:28:23

well. So a lot of good things have come, but it's only been in

Mary Kominska: 00:28:27

the last few months. Well, that's

Janice Porter: 00:28:29

interesting, though. LG, I think of

Janice Porter: 00:28:31

appliances and television,

Mary Kominska: 00:28:33

TV and yeah, yeah, yeah, there's, that's an

Mary Kominska: 00:28:36

umbrella. So it's the LG, H and H, home and household. Yeah, got

Mary Kominska: 00:28:41

it, household, at home, something like that. But that's

Mary Kominska: 00:28:43

where, yeah, as so there's, there's so much to offer.

Janice Porter: 00:28:48

So my theory is that there's only five people

Janice Porter: 00:28:50

that that, that own the world. Anyway, it's like, you know,

Janice Porter: 00:28:53

that own everything. I was talking, I don't, wasn't on my

Janice Porter: 00:28:56

podcast. I was talking to someone last week. I don't think

Janice Porter: 00:29:02

it was on my podcast. I'm not sure if it was someone who's

Janice Porter: 00:29:05

going, Oh, it was someone who's coming on my podcast. I don't

Janice Porter: 00:29:08

know. And he was telling me, oh yeah, it was a guy I met on

Janice Porter: 00:29:10

LinkedIn, really interesting guy, and he used to work for

Janice Porter: 00:29:13

George Lucas for 20 years, yeah. And he we talked about that

Janice Porter: 00:29:20

because I love entertainment industry and everything, and it

Janice Porter: 00:29:24

was bought by Disney, and Disney has not done it well, apparently

Janice Porter: 00:29:30

it right. But Disney owns ABC Television Network. Disney owns

Janice Porter: 00:29:36

ESPN. It owns a bunch of stuff, right? But when I was we were

Janice Porter: 00:29:40

talking to this guy. He said to me that the the company that

Janice Porter: 00:29:45

owns the biggest share of Disney, so actually, rules

Janice Porter: 00:29:50

Disney is not Disney or a founding family member. It's

Janice Porter: 00:29:55

Black, Black Rock. Is it called? I think that's an. It's a big

Janice Porter: 00:30:00

company that's multinational investment type company, and

Janice Porter: 00:30:09

they have, if not, the biggest shares, the second biggest

Janice Porter: 00:30:13

number of shares, voting shares to Disney. The first person is,

Janice Porter: 00:30:21

got this, right? Jeff Bezos his ex wife, and he's the guy that

Janice Porter: 00:30:26

owns Amazon, yeah, so, like, Mackenzie, yeah, that's right,

Janice Porter: 00:30:30

Mackenzie. Like, they've got, right? It's like, there's five

Janice Porter: 00:30:34

people that they all own everything, right? So

Janice Porter: 00:30:38

experience, I think it's called Black Rock. But anyway, very

Janice Porter: 00:30:42

fascinating. So I know that you probably I'm curious to know

Janice Porter: 00:30:49

what your answer will be to this, my last second to last

Janice Porter: 00:30:52

question, and that is my favorite word, is curiosity, and

Janice Porter: 00:30:58

I want to know whether you think it is innate or learned, and

Janice Porter: 00:31:04

what you're most curious about today. So, two part question,

Mary Kominska: 00:31:09

two part question, I love it, you know, I

Mary Kominska: 00:31:11

I believe that it is innate in us. Think about when we were

Mary Kominska: 00:31:16

little. Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? And then adults shut that

Mary Kominska: 00:31:21

down. They dull that Spirit in us. And so we stopped learning.

Mary Kominska: 00:31:26

And then there's that same curiosity killed the cat. No, we

Mary Kominska: 00:31:30

didn't, right? So I think curiosity is there. I think you

Mary Kominska: 00:31:33

have to tap into it as an adult. And I am always curious about

Mary Kominska: 00:31:38

other people when I learned to ask the right questions, instead

Mary Kominska: 00:31:43

of, how are you, so instead of how are you, what exciting thing

Mary Kominska: 00:31:47

is, is happening in your life right now? Or what's what are

Mary Kominska: 00:31:49

you looking forward to this week or this year or whatever? Right

Mary Kominska: 00:31:52

so learning to have those different questions opens that

Mary Kominska: 00:31:55

curiosity spark. And so I'm always curious about other

Mary Kominska: 00:32:00

people and their story, and helping them pull out their

Mary Kominska: 00:32:03

story like others did for me along the journey.

Janice Porter: 00:32:06

Nice. All right. And last question, what is your

Janice Porter: 00:32:10

favorite or best piece of advice you would like to leave with my

Janice Porter: 00:32:14

audience?

Mary Kominska: 00:32:16

So there are so many, but I think as I land this

Mary Kominska: 00:32:21

plane, when I was working full time in corporate America, and I

Mary Kominska: 00:32:30

was making more in my side gig business than I was a corporate

Mary Kominska: 00:32:35

and I wanted to do this full time, I fought because we were

Mary Kominska: 00:32:40

the Only department that did not have part time. I fought

Mary Kominska: 00:32:42

corporate. I won. This was when the last downturn happened in

Mary Kominska: 00:32:46

2012 and I was laid off shortly, shortly after. Okay, to this

Mary Kominska: 00:32:50

day, that department still has part time. So I'm I right, but I

Mary Kominska: 00:32:54

decided, Okay, I'm going to figure out, I'm going to spend

Mary Kominska: 00:32:56

the weekend, and then I'm going to figure out how to do this

Mary Kominska: 00:33:00

thing full time. I'm happy to report, it took me eight years

Mary Kominska: 00:33:04

to figure out how to do it. Okay, because you don't have

Mary Kominska: 00:33:06

somebody telling you what to do, when to do it, how to do it,

Mary Kominska: 00:33:09

right? It comes back to that personal management meeting,

Mary Kominska: 00:33:11

manage yourself. But the advice, and this was from a dear friend.

Mary Kominska: 00:33:16

We don't chat anymore, and I don't know why. It's one of

Mary Kominska: 00:33:18

those, we just kind of went our separate ways, but she was a

Mary Kominska: 00:33:21

coach of mine at the time, and if we weren't friends, I don't

Mary Kominska: 00:33:24

know that I would have ever spoken to her, but it's one of

Mary Kominska: 00:33:26

the best advice. And she said to me one day, Mary, you're full of

Mary Kominska: 00:33:30

great ideas. When are you going to do something with them? And

Mary Kominska: 00:33:33

that just like smacked me, even though we weren't face to face,

Mary Kominska: 00:33:37

we're over the phone, but it was like She smacked me across the

Mary Kominska: 00:33:39

face. And from that moment on, I decided I'm going to tell you

Mary Kominska: 00:33:43

what I've done, not what I'm going to do. So don't tell

Mary Kominska: 00:33:47

people what you're going to do. Show them what you've

Janice Porter: 00:33:50

done. Beautiful. That's really good advice.

Janice Porter: 00:33:53

Totally, yeah, totally good advice. Love this. Thank you,

Janice Porter: 00:33:56

Mary. How can people find you? And I will put it in the show

Janice Porter: 00:33:59

notes. And if you're interested in looking into your course, or

Janice Porter: 00:34:03

they need some Avon products, and they've lost that person,

Janice Porter: 00:34:07

right? How can they find

Mary Kominska: 00:34:08

you so best and beautiful, you do com all

Mary Kominska: 00:34:12

spelled out, B, E, S, T, the word and spelled out, a, n, D,

Mary Kominska: 00:34:16

B, E, A, U, T, i, f, U, L and the word you all spelled out, y,

Mary Kominska: 00:34:20

o, u.com, gives everything in one stop shop. You can find my

Mary Kominska: 00:34:24

tea course the about will tell you the story. You can read that

Mary Kominska: 00:34:28

story and get some more details about meeting my sister. Your

Mary Kominska: 00:34:32

outside beauty is Avon, and then your inside beauty is just a

Mary Kominska: 00:34:37

little bit of things right, my life coaching. So whatever,

Mary Kominska: 00:34:41

whatever I can do to support you, to help you, and not even

Mary Kominska: 00:34:44

to help you, to empower you to be the best and beautiful you

Mary Kominska: 00:34:48

that you were created to be inside and out. I would love an

Mary Kominska: 00:34:50

opportunity, but at the same token, one thing you can do for

Mary Kominska: 00:34:54

absolutely free, my favorite four letter F word is go to the

Mary Kominska: 00:34:58

contact me and. And join my mailing list. I promise I don't

Mary Kominska: 00:35:04

spam you. I send a newsletter once a week and a blog once a

Mary Kominska: 00:35:07

month. That's what you'll get from me, unless you want

Mary Kominska: 00:35:09

something more than let me know. But that's something you can do

Mary Kominska: 00:35:12

for fre. That's the usual social like Justin beautiful. You on

Mary Kominska: 00:35:18

Facebook, on Insta and LinkedIn, and I'm Mary commensal on

Mary Kominska: 00:35:23

LinkedIn, right? But I don't do any of the x or Tik Tok or any I

Mary Kominska: 00:35:29

think I'm on Pinterest, but I never go on there, but I think

Mary Kominska: 00:35:31

I'm on there.

Janice Porter: 00:35:33

Well, thank you again for being for your time

Janice Porter: 00:35:35

and for your wisdom, and I appreciate you being here. Thank

Janice Porter: 00:35:37

you to my audience for being here, and remember to stay

Janice Porter: 00:35:40

connected and be remembered. Thank

Mary Kominska: 00:35:42

you. You're welcome.