Creating Calm | RR346

Janice Porter: 00:00:03

Welcome everyone, and today I'm joined by Lisa

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danahy, a yoga therapist, educator and founder of creative

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calm, as well as the author of creative calm in your classroom.

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Welcome Lisa.

Lisa Danehy: 00:00:19

Hi. It's great to be here. Perfect.

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Lisa has spent over 30 years helping children,

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educators and families use mindfulness movement and breath

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to build calm and connection. Her work shows us that what

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begins in the classroom through self awareness, emotional safety

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and mindful relationships can ripple out into how we lead,

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communicate and collaborate as adults. So in our conversation

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today, I'm looking to explore how the same principles that

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help children regulate and connect can strengthen

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relationships in our personal lives and workplaces. So first

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of all, though, I want to start with the classroom, because I

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know that you just came back from a conference you did for

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educators and people that work in the community, and I read

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this article that you posted called Creating calm, why stress

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management must come before instruction. Can you speak to

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that a little bit? Because I think that's the heart of what

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you

Lisa Danehy: 00:01:17

do, absolutely, and I think it's the heart of what

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we all need to do to live happier, more stable lives, to

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be honest, yep, I think very often, because we are creatures

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of habit and we are creatures who are risk averse and desire

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to know that what's coming next, we tend to want to control our

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outside environment, and when we work so hard to control our

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external environments, we lose the connection internally, and

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the internal space of regulation and the internal space of

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connection, it should be the foundation. So I think we we

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need to kind of switch the way we're thinking in terms of what

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supports and services and accomplishments we're trying to

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have in the classroom or in, you know, corporate world, with this

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notion of self regulation, self care, self alignment is the

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foundation and and Stephen Porges, who's a neuroscientist

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who in the 90s, really coined this work around polyvagal

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theory and social engagement, says, when we don't feel safe,

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we cannot engage socially, and therefore we cannot activate our

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reasoning skills, our logic skills, our executive

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functioning, which are the basic things we need for education,

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for learning, for growing. So I might argue that until we feel

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safe, and one of the ways we feel safe is knowing where we

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are and who we are, and how to manage our our own feelings and

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regulation until we take control of that, learning is really

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going to be compromised and so. So my hope is that we can

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develop skills to really feel into our own power of what we

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can control and how we can feel and how we interact and and how

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we feel secure and in that we will all be able to connect more

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productively and grow more powerfully.

Janice Porter: 00:03:29

That's wonderful. You know, I was a teacher back

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in the day, and that was my kind of if anyone ever asked me what

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I wanted to do when I grew up, it was always I wanted to be a

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teacher. So that became my logical, you know, path right

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out of school to university to being a teacher, I never thought

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anything different. But when I look at what I did as a teacher,

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and I taught elementary school and what I see going on, first

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of all, as a parent, and then as a grandparent, now, I never

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heard the term regulation. I never knew from ADHD to autism

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to this, that and the other. We didn't have all that what what

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happened like Did we not know about these things? I just I

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look back and I think back of when I was a very young, 21 year

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old teacher in a class of 36 second graders, 36 I had, and

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what did I know like that scares me now to think that I had that

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kind of responsibility and power in my class, of that many kids

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in my classroom, and I didn't know anything.

Lisa Danehy: 00:04:41

I think. I mean, I think in some ways, none of us

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ever really know anything, and that may be part of the problem.

Janice Porter: 00:04:47

I knew how to I knew how to teach writing and

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reading and arithmetic, but I didn't know about the child.

Janice Porter: 00:04:55

Yeah.

Lisa Danehy: 00:04:56

Well, you know what? I think, I think a few

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things have happened. You. In in the evolution of our educational

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structure, and one is, children aren't playing the way they used

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to play. They aren't giving this exploratory space to to work

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through things, to to practice social skills, but also to

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practice self management and self engagement in the same way.

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So they're coming into really structured world, and we're

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always telling them what to do and who to be. And so I think

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there was a lot more play. There was a lot more space for, quote,

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downtime or rest. I think we've really done a disservice to our

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children in saying,

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the more we cram into each day, you know, the more we'll get out

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of them.

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And I think you space probably, as a teacher, you spaced things

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out where you added the math or the science or the writing or

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the reading into a day that was filled with relaxed connections

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and and socialization and some of these other elements that

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we've pulled out of the classroom To make room for

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assessments and identification and and benchmarks and

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expectations.

Janice Porter: 00:06:27

It's kind of scary, really, isn't it? Yeah,

Janice Porter: 00:06:30

um, so Alright, well, you've said that kids learn calm from

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the energy of the adults around them, and that makes total

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sense, until I see what it does to children when we're not calm.

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And, you know, I've been learning about this regulation

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piece and and how because my little granddaughter, she can't

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regulate herself, or she couldn't. She's getting better

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at it, but you could see the little heart just fluttering all

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the time. She's constantly in kind of flight, you know, like,

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and you just want her to come in down, but then you get, not me

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particularly, but you get frustrated and angry, and that

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just brings everything up, right? So with the lack of

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cooperation, or whatever from the child, so it's like this

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ping pong ball. And how do you you have to start with yourself,

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for sure, I think if you are working with a child or

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children, but you don't have any education on that yourself. So

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how do you you know? What do you do?

Lisa Danehy: 00:07:45

So I think actually, this is a really great

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point. And even though we're talking right at the moment

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around parent and teacher interactions with children and

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the sense of CO regulation, I think it's applicable to our

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entire set of relationships, especially in the office and in

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work. And I want to touch on one thing in particular. I want to

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ask you and our audience, because I think this is a really

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good way to understand what we're talking about. I want you

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to think to a moment where you felt really confident, really

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positive, really comfortable, where you felt like things were

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going really well. You know, you looked in the mirror and you

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said, I've got it today, right? And you were ready to go out

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there and get the world and and how that feels. And how that

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feels, and I want you to feel that in your body. And then I

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want you to imagine, and you've probably had this happen that

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you're walking into a room full of people who have been arguing,

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who are tired, who are dysregulated, who are are not

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aligned. And I want you to notice how that feels and what

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happened to you when I mentioned that scenario. This is even like

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physically. This is just in our mind. I mentioned that scenario,

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what did you, what did you hold on to what was, what was the end

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result in you physically, when you went into that space,

Janice Porter: 00:09:26

the second space, right? You're talking about,

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yeah, very insecure and and therefore not as in control as I

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could have been. Feeling unsure. Of you know, like when you ask,

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like, if I'm in front of a group of people and I'm going to ask a

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question, you hope someone's going to respond and right and

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that when you get nothingness, how that feels? It's terrible.

Janice Porter: 00:09:57

Am I in the right place? What did I do wrong? It's all about.

Janice Porter: 00:10:00

About me, right?

Lisa Danehy: 00:10:01

Well, yeah, and, and so we physiologically, we

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are wired with something called mirror neurons. And mirror

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neurons help us socialize, help us feel like we're we belong,

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we're getting accepted, that everything's okay. So what

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happens is, no matter how you feel before you walk through

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that door, when you come in contact with other people's

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energy, your mirror neurons wake up and they go, Oh, okay. I need

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to feel like those people. You know, what was I doing? Thinking

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I felt really good about myself today. I need to feel like crap.

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I need to feel insecure. I need to feel I'm disconnected,

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because we're trying to match the energy in that room and and

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and so we don't have to have a lot of formal training, and we

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don't have to have a lot of tools to begin to notice that

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the energy that we bring and the energy that others bring impact

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our experiences. And the more we can notice that, the more when

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I'm feeling one way, I notice, oh, look at that. This is the

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way I'm feeling. And I notice, hey, you're feeling that way.

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The more I can detach and give a little check to my mirror

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neurons around what I need to model, the more I can be stable

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and I can become a force of regulation for everyone else.

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And this is the really key thing, because while my mirror

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neurons are trying to copy your dysregulated state, which is

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exactly what you were saying when you said that the parent

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automatically starts to get ramped up because they're

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picking up on the energetic state of their child. They're

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mirroring. But you also are surrounded by people whose

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mirror neurons want to mirror you. So if you come into that

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room, and for that five seconds, you go, Whoa, this energy

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doesn't feel good, but you step back and say, okay, back into my

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energy. You can become the CO regulator for the group. You can

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help them calm. Instead of you adopting their energetic state,

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they adopt yours and and the more we're doing that, the more

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consciously we're bringing our regulated state into a group

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dynamic, the more they are practicing self regulation,

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which comes into, ultimately, a state of auto regulation where

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We all can really swiftly move back into that regulated state.

Lisa Danehy: 00:12:43

So it really takes awareness, not a whole lot of technical

Lisa Danehy: 00:12:47

training.

Janice Porter: 00:12:48

Okay, that that's exactly what I got from that. I

Janice Porter: 00:12:50

remember when you just put me into that visual situation, that

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that I visually conjured up in my mind. I remembered the

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situation where I was doing a training session in a big

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corporation, and one of the girls in the class, in this

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there were maybe 16 people there, one girl was sleeping and

Janice Porter: 00:13:17

and all I could do was focus on, what am I doing wrong? Why am I

Janice Porter: 00:13:21

putting her to sleep? Which, which, apparently, because I

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talked to her afterwards, wasn't the case. She hadn't slept all

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night. She wasn't feeling well. She probably should have excused

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herself, but I took on that, you know, and talked myself out of

Janice Porter: 00:13:36

me being in, you know, in a higher state, I guess, of

Janice Porter: 00:13:40

energy, and so I totally get what you're saying, but that it

Janice Porter: 00:13:43

takes awareness, but it also takes confidence,

Lisa Danehy: 00:13:49

yes, and it just takes some skills too. You know,

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it takes, it takes some assuredness to know that I'm

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okay standing in the feelings and energy I'm feeling, and

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sometimes that might mean, okay, I'm going to take on some of

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their stuff, but I'm going to take it over here to the side,

Lisa Danehy: 00:14:10

and I'm going to work with it, because sometimes it might still

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be bigger than I can take on or that I can separate from. But it

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also takes the capacity to access the nervous system, and

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this where some training can help, not official, formal

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training, as much as just getting to know how things work

Lisa Danehy: 00:14:32

in your body. But what we're really boiling this down to is

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nervous system engagement and activation. We're talking about,

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can I find a mechanism that will allow me to recognize my

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physiological state and then alter it so that I can affect my

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regulation? And the easiest way to do that is something we all.

Lisa Danehy: 00:15:00

Have access to all the time. It's your breath. Okay, right?

Lisa Danehy: 00:15:07

Yeah, when you can pause and connect with your breath, you're

Lisa Danehy: 00:15:12

taking the reins on your nervous system. So with each exhale,

Lisa Danehy: 00:15:18

especially each extended exhale. I'm telling my nervous system,

Lisa Danehy: 00:15:24

okay, relax. You've got this activate the parasympathetic

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nervous system, the calm down response. Conversely, when I am

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in a situation where I need to remove myself or defend or

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protect myself, I can take a big, quick breath in and exhale

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it with a little force, and I can activate my sympathetic

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nervous system, my wake up, my active my my move response. So

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with just a breath practice and a connection to my breath, I can

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access my nervous system and I can change my physiological

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state, which will change my energetic state, which will

Lisa Danehy: 00:16:08

allow me to reinterpret my emotional state very well.

Janice Porter: 00:16:13

Put it's funny. I was watching this crazy show

Janice Porter: 00:16:16

last night on Netflix, and the the the young boy was found a

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bow and arrow set that his mother had used when she was

Janice Porter: 00:16:29

young. And the grandpa was watching the kid trying to do

Janice Porter: 00:16:33

it, and he couldn't get onto the target at all. And the

Janice Porter: 00:16:36

grandfather said to the young boy, who is maybe 1514, he said,

Janice Porter: 00:16:42

before you let release the arrow, he said, take a deep

Janice Porter: 00:16:46

breath in and out. Take another breath in on and on the second

Janice Porter: 00:16:52

exhale, shoot the arrow. And he went, boom, of course, yeah,

Lisa Danehy: 00:16:57

yes, because then you're channeling your energetic

Lisa Danehy: 00:17:00

state and you're also regulating your nervous system and you're

Lisa Danehy: 00:17:03

locking in your focus. I mean, it's, it's such a simple thing

Lisa Danehy: 00:17:09

that it's something we forget all the time and and if we could

Lisa Danehy: 00:17:13

go into every conversation or every encounter with a breath, I

Lisa Danehy: 00:17:19

do it in the grocery store before I check out register. I

Lisa Danehy: 00:17:25

do it as I'm I'm connecting with people in public spaces. I do it

Lisa Danehy: 00:17:31

in classrooms. I do it before I engage in any conversation with

Lisa Danehy: 00:17:36

my kids. Now I just take a breath and and sometimes I think

Lisa Danehy: 00:17:42

that that slowing down gives them a chance, even if they

Lisa Danehy: 00:17:46

don't take a breath with me, it gives them a chance to kind of

Lisa Danehy: 00:17:51

drop in a little bit more too.

Janice Porter: 00:17:53

I think I saw you do it before we said, I'll be

Janice Porter: 00:17:55

better received. I think I saw you do that before we started

Janice Porter: 00:17:59

here. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I

Lisa Danehy: 00:18:00

That's exactly right. That's exactly what I

Lisa Danehy: 00:18:03

did. I felt my feet, I took a breath, and I was just that much

Lisa Danehy: 00:18:08

more aligned with Yeah, yeah, yeah, with love. I was

Janice Porter: 00:18:14

so many adults struggle with burnout or

Janice Porter: 00:18:17

emotional overload. Are there any mindfulness or movement

Janice Porter: 00:18:21

practices from your book in the classroom that could help us as

Janice Porter: 00:18:26

adults, reset and reconnect, even in a business context. I

Janice Porter: 00:18:29

think you just answered that initially, but you might want to

Janice Porter: 00:18:33

add something to it. Yeah.

Lisa Danehy: 00:18:35

I mean, I'd love to say, and this is,

Janice Porter: 00:18:40

this is

Lisa Danehy: 00:18:41

it might be a hard sell, but I'm going to say it in

Lisa Danehy: 00:18:45

I love to say that what I feel we are lacking in terms of

Lisa Danehy: 00:18:50

stress management tools in our work environments is similar to

Lisa Danehy: 00:18:53

what we're seeing in the classroom. We need play, we need

Lisa Danehy: 00:18:58

sounding, we need movement. We are all sitting in chairs in

Lisa Danehy: 00:19:04

front of screens, very controlled and limited, and what

Lisa Danehy: 00:19:10

I'd like to see is an opportunity for more movement,

Lisa Danehy: 00:19:14

more play, more creative expression, and the way we can

Lisa Danehy: 00:19:18

do that, one of my favorite things that I do when I go into

Lisa Danehy: 00:19:23

some of these corporate trainings is, and we can do it

Lisa Danehy: 00:19:28

if you want, depends on exactly. I'm going to invite you to slide

Lisa Danehy: 00:19:37

back from your desk for a moment and and you're welcome to do

Lisa Danehy: 00:19:43

this sitting down. You're also welcome to do this standing up.

Lisa Danehy: 00:19:47

If you're driving. You may want to hold off on doing this if

Lisa Danehy: 00:19:50

you're listening to us in the car, but stand up or have a seat

Lisa Danehy: 00:19:55

and start to feel your feet on the floor and just tap your feet

Lisa Danehy: 00:19:59

all. Alternating on the floor, and notice your connection with

Lisa Danehy: 00:20:03

the ground, and wiggle your toes while you tap your feet. And

Lisa Danehy: 00:20:08

notice how that might be a challenge, whether you ever

Lisa Danehy: 00:20:10

really do that. And then let your legs get a little more

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wiggly and your hips get a little more wiggly. Let your

Lisa Danehy: 00:20:16

belly shake a little your ribs twist, your shoulders shake,

Lisa Danehy: 00:20:21

take your arms and move them in whatever way feels really good.

Lisa Danehy: 00:20:24

Let them Shake, shake, shake, shake, all the way out to your

Lisa Danehy: 00:20:26

fingers. Now let your head, add in there, your ears and your

Lisa Danehy: 00:20:31

eyes, any part of your body. Let your hair move a little, wiggle

Lisa Danehy: 00:20:36

back and forth or side to side, go a little higher or a little

Lisa Danehy: 00:20:40

lower, shake, shake, shake, shake. Now bring your arms out

Lisa Danehy: 00:20:45

to the sides, plant your feet on the ground and take a big breath

Lisa Danehy: 00:20:48

in, fill yourself up like a balloon. Arms coming overhead,

Lisa Danehy: 00:20:52

and bring your hands right down the midline as you breathe out.

Lisa Danehy: 00:20:55

Yeah, let's do two more of those big breath in. Reach your arms

Lisa Danehy: 00:20:59

overhead. Breathe out, hands down in front of your chest

Lisa Danehy: 00:21:03

together and one more big breath in, and breathe it out. Slow

Lisa Danehy: 00:21:10

your breath down. Pause here. Take a breath in, breathe out.

Lisa Danehy: 00:21:16

Relax your arms and just notice how you feel.

Janice Porter: 00:21:19

Really good. Yeah, really good. I mean, your

Janice Porter: 00:21:24

focus was completely shifted from your head to your body, and

Janice Porter: 00:21:30

it was freeing. Yeah, it was great. And we don't do enough of

Janice Porter: 00:21:34

that, you're absolutely right. Now, I'm on video and YouTube,

Janice Porter: 00:21:38

it's going to be really ridiculous about it. It's all

Janice Porter: 00:21:40

good. I love it.

Lisa Danehy: 00:21:42

That's why I did it. I did that's a bonus for

Lisa Danehy: 00:21:44

your listeners. Thank you. You can

Janice Porter: 00:21:46

thank me later. Yeah, there you go. So the

Janice Porter: 00:21:48

viewers on YouTube will get the bonus. Yep, I love it. That's

Janice Porter: 00:21:51

great.

Lisa Danehy: 00:21:52

I think it's super important that we I mean, that

Lisa Danehy: 00:21:55

was 15 seconds, you know, it was it didn't take us a long time.

Lisa Danehy: 00:21:59

And I want to point out too, that a lot of times people don't

Lisa Danehy: 00:22:03

understand, especially because I come from a background of of

Lisa Danehy: 00:22:06

yoga therapy, and we do a lot with, you know, what we call

Lisa Danehy: 00:22:10

mudras, hands coming the other hand gestures. But when we do

Lisa Danehy: 00:22:14

this, bringing the hands right down the midline in front of the

Lisa Danehy: 00:22:17

heart, this is the quickest way to refocus the left and right

Lisa Danehy: 00:22:23

hemispheres of the body and the mind. So taking that big balloon

Lisa Danehy: 00:22:27

breath opens up the whole body, realigns the spine, and then

Lisa Danehy: 00:22:32

coming down through the center becomes this instant lock in.

Lisa Danehy: 00:22:38

And so now I'm more focused, I'm a little more energized, I'm

Lisa Danehy: 00:22:41

also simultaneously a little more calm, I'm a little more

Lisa Danehy: 00:22:44

relaxed. That's when you're going to get me to be more

Lisa Danehy: 00:22:47

productive. So whether it's in a classroom or a conference room,

Lisa Danehy: 00:22:51

that tool is going to shift everybody and make them so much

Lisa Danehy: 00:22:55

more productive.

Janice Porter: 00:22:57

I do remember back in the day when I was doing

Janice Porter: 00:22:59

corporate training I had. I guess it was an era where we had

Janice Porter: 00:23:04

toys we put on the table, and people would fidget toys and

Janice Porter: 00:23:07

things like that, and we'd throw the balls to each other. I don't

Janice Porter: 00:23:10

know if they still do those kinds of things, or I do have no

Janice Porter: 00:23:14

a woman who was actually on my podcast in the first year I had

Janice Porter: 00:23:18

it. She Kristin, Kristin Robinson. She's all about play

Janice Porter: 00:23:24

therapy, and she's here in Vancouver, and she's wonderful

Janice Porter: 00:23:26

about just play in workplaces and stuff. And I see the value,

Janice Porter: 00:23:32

terrific. It's terrific. Yeah, definitely. So, okay, you often

Janice Porter: 00:23:42

talk about belonging and inclusivity in schools. How can

Janice Porter: 00:23:46

those same principles create more equitable and connected

Janice Porter: 00:23:49

environments in companies or communities? Let's talk about

Janice Porter: 00:23:54

that for a minute.

Lisa Danehy: 00:23:55

Yeah, I really, I really appreciate that because,

Lisa Danehy: 00:24:00

you know, there's a lot of focus these days, a lot more focus on

Lisa Danehy: 00:24:10

different strengths and challenges that individuals

Lisa Danehy: 00:24:13

bring into their environments, into their workplaces, into

Lisa Danehy: 00:24:16

their school classrooms, and we're good at recognizing Okay,

Lisa Danehy: 00:24:21

kids are coming into classrooms with ADHD, with autism, with

Lisa Danehy: 00:24:26

different abilities and challenges,

Lisa Danehy: 00:24:28

but those

Lisa Danehy: 00:24:30

kids do become adults, and they don't magically, like, get grow

Lisa Danehy: 00:24:37

out of right, or, you know, or shift those differences and and

Lisa Danehy: 00:24:42

I think actually, when they come into work environments, they

Lisa Danehy: 00:24:46

bring a really unique gift, and they they bring a perspective

Lisa Danehy: 00:24:51

that's usually very helpful, but we don't talk a lot about what

Lisa Danehy: 00:24:55

does inclusivity look like in in in our business? Business

Lisa Danehy: 00:25:00

spaces, and I think it it comes down again, to creating a place

Lisa Danehy: 00:25:08

that feels not uniform or agreeable and equal to everyone,

Lisa Danehy: 00:25:17

but that feels secure for everyone. Yeah, safe. And to do

Lisa Danehy: 00:25:23

that again takes us right back to mirror neurons and CO

Lisa Danehy: 00:25:28

regulation. If I've got 10 people in front of me and we all

Lisa Danehy: 00:25:33

work differently, the best thing for me to do is to to to to

Lisa Danehy: 00:25:41

center and ground myself, to regulate the breathing, the

Lisa Danehy: 00:25:46

engagement, and to offer a space in which everyone can show up as

Lisa Danehy: 00:25:51

they are. You know, one of my favorite things about yoga

Lisa Danehy: 00:25:55

therapy is there is no right or wrong way to do yoga, even a

Lisa Danehy: 00:26:00

contrary to Western perspectives on yoga and, and I love to give

Lisa Danehy: 00:26:05

people the opportunity to show up in who they are and, and

Lisa Danehy: 00:26:12

that's actually, that's how I ended up in the work I do. I did

Lisa Danehy: 00:26:18

the reverse of you. I when I was younger in college, I needed to

Lisa Danehy: 00:26:23

pay my way through school, so I became a legal secretary, and I

Lisa Danehy: 00:26:27

took my background in psychology, and I worked in

Lisa Danehy: 00:26:31

human resources and law firm management for a long time, and

Lisa Danehy: 00:26:35

then when I had children and and I was trying to balance all

Lisa Danehy: 00:26:42

those roles as wife and mother and business leader, I shifted

Lisa Danehy: 00:26:49

over and began running my children's early childhood

Lisa Danehy: 00:26:52

center, where I worked for 20 years and and what I found was

Lisa Danehy: 00:26:58

the more I created spaces for people to be themselves, and the

Lisa Danehy: 00:27:05

more I created opportunities for folks to explore their passion,

Lisa Danehy: 00:27:11

their identity and their unique way of doing things, the more I

Lisa Danehy: 00:27:15

wanted to Do it. And you know, and so I learned that that

Lisa Danehy: 00:27:23

putting your passion into your work, however that shows up, has

Lisa Danehy: 00:27:29

value, and I think that's how we create a more inclusive space. I

Lisa Danehy: 00:27:33

think we honor people's passion and differences. Sorry, my

Janice Porter: 00:27:40

screen, yeah. And I think the good ones, the good

Janice Porter: 00:27:43

teachers, the the good managers, that, and so forth, they get

Janice Porter: 00:27:47

that. They see that right, and, and, and it's beautiful to see

Janice Porter: 00:27:52

it when it in action, when it's working. I'm thinking now it's

Janice Porter: 00:27:58

funny, because I didn't really love this movie, but the story

Janice Porter: 00:28:03

in the movie is actually must be so universal that everybody

Janice Porter: 00:28:08

loves it. And that's the movie. The the first version, the first

Janice Porter: 00:28:12

one I haven't seen, the second one of wicked, yeah, right,

Janice Porter: 00:28:17

yeah. And about being different, and about being accepted, and

Janice Porter: 00:28:21

about all of that stuff, and I guess that's why it's so

Janice Porter: 00:28:24

popular, because it's right there for from a very visual

Janice Porter: 00:28:32

perspective, right? I don't know. I think I'm the only

Janice Porter: 00:28:35

person that didn't like that movie, but it was, it was

Janice Porter: 00:28:38

basically because I didn't like any of the songs in the movie. I

Janice Porter: 00:28:41

think as a musical, you want to like the songs,

Lisa Danehy: 00:28:45

but the story. And it's a hard concept, too. It's

Lisa Danehy: 00:28:48

really a hard concept. This notion of is being different a

Lisa Danehy: 00:28:53

good

Janice Porter: 00:28:53

thing? Yes, exactly, yeah.

Lisa Danehy: 00:28:56

And, you know, and the same thing in frozen. It was

Lisa Danehy: 00:28:59

the same thing in frozen.

Janice Porter: 00:29:01

Was it okay? See, I've never seen that one. That

Janice Porter: 00:29:03

one never, yeah, but, um, but now that you say that, it's like

Janice Porter: 00:29:09

the child, okay? So I know this is probably a conversation for

Janice Porter: 00:29:15

another day, but when you see children who are who beat to

Janice Porter: 00:29:20

their own drum, and they see the world differently through right

Janice Porter: 00:29:31

is, do they have those insecurities that they're not

Janice Porter: 00:29:37

like the Do you know what I'm trying to say? Or they don't

Janice Porter: 00:29:40

care.

Lisa Danehy: 00:29:41

They just so, yeah, I think it, I think it varies. I

Lisa Danehy: 00:29:46

think we all care, yeah, but I think it all, I think it

Lisa Danehy: 00:29:50

registers with all of us. And the only reason I say that is

Lisa Danehy: 00:29:54

because I worked a lot with children who and young adults

Lisa Danehy: 00:29:59

who. Had more limiting, non verbal, you know, challenging

Lisa Danehy: 00:30:08

forms of autism. And I worked with one student in particular,

Lisa Danehy: 00:30:14

a young boy who I worked with into his young adulthood, and he

Lisa Danehy: 00:30:19

had real challenges in controlling his body, and he

Lisa Danehy: 00:30:23

communicated through a letter board. And there were very many

Lisa Danehy: 00:30:27

times where I wondered if he was getting what I was teaching and

Lisa Danehy: 00:30:32

where I was, and one time his mom got in touch with me after

Lisa Danehy: 00:30:38

one of our sessions, and we had been working on stretching and

Lisa Danehy: 00:30:46

engaging muscles and and we were doing Triangle Pose, which is

Lisa Danehy: 00:30:50

really challenging, and I was helping position him. And I I'm

Lisa Danehy: 00:30:57

very aware when I'm helping people get into a position,

Lisa Danehy: 00:31:03

because I want them to do it. I don't want to do it for them,

Lisa Danehy: 00:31:05

right? And I don't want them to see my guidance as criticism. So

Lisa Danehy: 00:31:09

anyway, so we were doing triangle pose and breathing

Lisa Danehy: 00:31:12

together and and we finished our session and went on, and his

Lisa Danehy: 00:31:17

mother came to me and said he used his letter board to tell me

Lisa Danehy: 00:31:23

that it was the first time he felt he could connect with his

Lisa Danehy: 00:31:29

body, and he felt strong inside. So he was feeling the same

Lisa Danehy: 00:31:36

insecurities, the same inadequacies, probably more

Lisa Danehy: 00:31:40

frustration because he couldn't articulate me and articulate

Lisa Danehy: 00:31:45

what was going on. And that's where, when I do work with those

Lisa Danehy: 00:31:49

populations, I'm really focused on attuning energetically. I'm

Lisa Danehy: 00:31:55

using far less vocabulary and languaging. I sometimes will go

Lisa Danehy: 00:32:00

many minutes in a private session where we don't talk, I

Lisa Danehy: 00:32:05

don't talk to them at all. You know, we're just moving and

Lisa Danehy: 00:32:08

breathing and and connecting energetically. And I think

Lisa Danehy: 00:32:12

that's the key to inclusion, is stepping back from conversation

Lisa Danehy: 00:32:18

and stepping into energetically, connecting.

Janice Porter: 00:32:23

That's beautiful. That's a great way to just end

Janice Porter: 00:32:26

this segment. And I love it. I do have a couple more quick

Janice Porter: 00:32:29

questions for you, and then we'll wrap up. But I can just

Janice Porter: 00:32:33

tell from your face and from the way you speak and you speak

Janice Porter: 00:32:38

calmly as well, that you probably just are the best

Janice Porter: 00:32:42

person for that child to be working with. I do. I can see

Janice Porter: 00:32:45

that. So just a couple of quick questions before we wrap up. So

Janice Porter: 00:32:51

one of the things that I love the most is curiosity. I'm

Janice Porter: 00:32:56

always curious about different I think that's why I connected

Janice Porter: 00:33:00

with you initially when we met, because I had so many questions

Janice Porter: 00:33:04

for you. I'm curious about what you do and and so I asked you

Janice Porter: 00:33:10

your opinion, and there's no right or wrong answer, of

Janice Porter: 00:33:13

course. But do you think that curiosity is innate or learned?

Janice Porter: 00:33:18

And part two, what are you most curious about today?

Lisa Danehy: 00:33:25

I think curiosity is learned and can be

Lisa Danehy: 00:33:34

cultivated. Okay, I'm Oh, sorry, innate and can be cult. Sorry,

Lisa Danehy: 00:33:40

innate. I believe that we all are naturally curious beings,

Lisa Danehy: 00:33:45

which is one of the most interesting dichotomies of this

Lisa Danehy: 00:33:49

existence of human being and and what I call the space of and

Lisa Danehy: 00:33:54

because while we are inherently driven to be curious, we are

Lisa Danehy: 00:33:58

also inherently driven to be risk averse. So curiosity and

Lisa Danehy: 00:34:02

risk adversity can very often come at

Janice Porter: 00:34:06

each other. I've never had that answer before.

Janice Porter: 00:34:09

That's great, yeah, yeah.

Lisa Danehy: 00:34:10

Because I feel like, you know, as we get older,

Lisa Danehy: 00:34:14

we lean more into the risk adversity instead of the

Lisa Danehy: 00:34:17

curiosity. And I wish we could lean more into the curiosity,

Lisa Danehy: 00:34:21

because then we we are less fearful in the risk adversity,

Lisa Danehy: 00:34:27

because we know we're going to figure it out, we're going to be

Lisa Danehy: 00:34:30

okay, you know it's we're going to land. So, yeah, so that's,

Lisa Danehy: 00:34:35

that's my thinking on that.

Janice Porter: 00:34:36

And what are you most curious about these days?

Lisa Danehy: 00:34:40

I um, I am most curious about this space of and

Lisa Danehy: 00:34:49

about, you know about how how complicated and yet, so simple

Lisa Danehy: 00:34:58

being human really is. Is and, and, and I just love the act of

Lisa Danehy: 00:35:06

being curious, and that that awe and excitement that comes with

Lisa Danehy: 00:35:14

knowing that I don't know all the answers that I can play in

Lisa Danehy: 00:35:19

the space of unknown. So I'm more most curious about that,

Janice Porter: 00:35:25

all right, one last question, finally, for for

Janice Porter: 00:35:29

our listeners, what's one small, doable step that they can take

Janice Porter: 00:35:34

today to bring more calm connection and relational

Janice Porter: 00:35:38

awareness into their own lives or workplaces?

Lisa Danehy: 00:35:42

Let's do it. Sit with a tall spine, place one

Lisa Danehy: 00:35:47

hand on your chest and one hand on your belly. Take a big breath

Lisa Danehy: 00:35:52

in, hold it there for a moment. Feel yourself full. Slowly,

Lisa Danehy: 00:35:59

exhale the breath out. Take one more big breath in. Hold it

Lisa Danehy: 00:36:07

there for a moment. Slowly exhale it out, and either

Lisa Danehy: 00:36:14

silently in your mind or out loud, say, I'm okay right now.

Janice Porter: 00:36:21

I'm okay right now. Beautiful. Thank you, Lisa,

Janice Porter: 00:36:27

thank you for being here. It was. It was really fun to talk

Janice Porter: 00:36:31

to you and to play with you. And where can people find you.

Lisa Danehy: 00:36:37

Create calm.org and I can toss you some social media

Lisa Danehy: 00:36:44

links to add into the caption to folks want to follow me,

Janice Porter: 00:36:48

and your book, YouTube channel and stuff,

Janice Porter: 00:36:50

alright, but basically they can go to your website, and it'll

Janice Porter: 00:36:53

probably all go from there. And your book, create calm. Creating

Janice Porter: 00:36:56

calm in the classroom is on Amazon, I think, yes, and also

Janice Porter: 00:37:00

on your website, probably you got it thank you again. All

Janice Porter: 00:37:04

right, perfect. So appreciated you being here, and thank you to

Janice Porter: 00:37:08

those listeners who stayed with us till the end. And if you want

Janice Porter: 00:37:12

more information about Lisa and her amazing work, please check

Janice Porter: 00:37:16

her out at create calm.org and remember to stay connected and

Janice Porter: 00:37:22

be remembered. Mm.