Episode 334

full
Published on:

28th Oct 2025

The Truth About Confidence with TEDx Speaker Nina Perez | RR334

What if confidence wasn’t something you had to fake, but something you could feel?

In this episode, I reconnect with the lovely and wise Nina Perez; transformation coach, TEDx speaker, and someone I’ve had the pleasure of knowing for years. We talk about the real roots of confidence, and why the old “fake it till you make it” advice can actually backfire. Nina shares her journey from being a self-described shy girl to stepping into the spotlight, not by pretending to be someone else, but by learning to feel confident from the inside out.

We also explore how small, everyday habits (Nina calls them “micro-habits”) help you show up as your most grounded, magnetic self, whether you are leading a team, speaking to an audience, or just trying to feel good in your own skin. I especially loved her perspective on using body language and storytelling to create genuine connection, and how she helps clients balance both warmth and authority.

This is a conversation full of “aha” moments, some great stories, and practical wisdom for anyone who wants to lead with presence, not performance.

What you’ll hear in this episode:

  • Why confidence is something you practice, not perform
  • The real reason “fake it till you make it” doesn’t work, and what to do instead
  • What micro-habits can do for your daily energy and presence
  • How storytelling builds trust faster than facts ever will
  • Why everyone has charisma. It’s just about finding your unique flavor


Connect with Nina

Website: https://thrivetoday.fun/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/connectwithnina/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/BailaNinaPerez

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/connectwithnina/


In appreciation for being here, I have some gifts for you:

A LinkedIn Checklist for setting up your fully optimized Profile:

An opportunity to test drive the Follow Up system I recommend by checking this presentation page - you won’t regret it. 


AND … Don’t forget to connect with me on LinkedIn and be eligible for my complimentary LinkedIn profile audit – I do one each month for a lucky listener!


Connect with me:

http://JanicePorter.com

https://www.linkedin.com/in/janiceporter/

https://www.facebook.com/janiceporter1

https://www.instagram.com/socjanice/


Thanks for listening!

Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and

think that others could benefit from listening, please share it using the social

media buttons on this page.


Do you have some feedback or questions about this episode? Leave a note in

the comment section below!


Subscribe to the podcast

If you would like to get automatic updates of new podcast episodes, you can

subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts or your favorite podcast app.


Leave us an Apple Podcast review

Ratings and reviews from our listeners are extremely valuable to us and

greatly appreciated. They help our podcast rank higher on Apple, which

exposes our show to more awesome listeners like you. If you have a minute,

please leave an honest review on Apple Podcasts.

Transcript
Janice Porter:

What if the secret to leadership, connection

Janice Porter:

and lasting influence wasn't in your words, but in your

Janice Porter:

presence? Well, today's guest on relationships rule, Nina Perez

Janice Porter:

is a transformation coach, a TEDx speaker and best selling

Janice Porter:

author who teaches high achieving professionals how to

Janice Porter:

embody confidence, not just perform it. With over 40 years

Janice Porter:

of dance experience and 25 years of teaching, Nina blends

Janice Porter:

movement mindset and practical connection skills to help people

Janice Porter:

show up as their most magnetic selves. And in this episode,

Janice Porter:

we're going to look at how embodied confidence changes, how

Janice Porter:

you lead, connect and are remembered in business and in

Janice Porter:

life. And by the way, welcome Lena, Nina. And I was just

Janice Porter:

looking at these numbers and like you still are only like a

Janice Porter:

baby. So I mean 40 years of dance and 25 years of teaching,

Janice Porter:

so a lot under your belt. And welcome, welcome to the show.

Nina Perez:

No thank you for having me. I'm so excited to be

Nina Perez:

here. Yes, I am 45 so I started very young in my dance career,

Nina Perez:

and I started teaching in my 20s. That's how the numbers add

Nina Perez:

up quickly

Janice Porter:

they do, don't they, but you're a gem in

Janice Porter:

everything that you do, and I'm honored to have you on the show.

Janice Porter:

It's been a long time since we first met, and you are an

Janice Porter:

example, actually, for me, of of connection, staying connected. I

Janice Porter:

mean, we've gone in and out, we've woven in and out of each

Janice Porter:

other's lives over the years. You know, messaging here and

Janice Porter:

checking in there, but the most recent one, when you came to me

Janice Porter:

for some LinkedIn training. We've had a lot of time lately

Janice Porter:

together, so I love that. And yeah, I

Nina Perez:

remember when I first met you, and then I do, I

Nina Perez:

do. I remember, it was at a BNI, and, you know, there's a lot of

Nina Perez:

people, so you meet like, 3040, people, but you send me a card.

Nina Perez:

And was very memorable. I remember thinking like, who does

Nina Perez:

that anymore? Like, that's such a rare thing nowadays. And from

Nina Perez:

that moment, I knew, like, Okay, you're different. She's special,

Nina Perez:

and she believes in the kind of values that I do, which is, you

Nina Perez:

know, going a little bit extra, above and beyond when you're

Nina Perez:

connecting with someone, getting to know them getting to know

Nina Perez:

what's important, and then adding that personal touch, like

Nina Perez:

a card or a voice message or anything, that's just where you

Nina Perez:

know people care, where you know that they did that extra little

Nina Perez:

bit of, you know, personal touch always impresses me, and that's

Nina Perez:

what I teach my clients, right? You want to do with the little

Nina Perez:

thing. Like, you know how they say the last the last mile is

Nina Perez:

never crowded or something like that. Oh yeah,

Janice Porter:

there's no something on the on the last

Janice Porter:

mile. But before you get into that, thank you. And I didn't

Janice Porter:

pay Nina to say any of that, so, just so you know that on the

Janice Porter:

record, that was very kind of you. But yeah, there's no, yeah,

Janice Porter:

there's, it's not busy on the last mile or something like

Janice Porter:

that. It's not crowded. Yeah, it's not crowded, yeah. So

Janice Porter:

speaking of the last extra

Nina Perez:

the extra mile is never crowded. That's right,

Janice Porter:

something like that. Okay, so, so that's a good

Janice Porter:

place to start, because my first question has to do with your

Janice Porter:

journey and how you have have stated that you're a recovering

Janice Porter:

shy girl, and now, of course, you're a connection coach, and

Janice Porter:

that's a pretty powerful jump. So what were the turning points

Janice Porter:

for you?

Nina Perez:

Oh my gosh, I have so many stories. And today I was

Nina Perez:

actually remembering a story because I was preparing for a

Nina Perez:

post I was going to make around, and you'll see this in the

Nina Perez:

future, around having lack of confidence when you're already

Nina Perez:

achieving a lot of great things. So I work with a lot of clients

Nina Perez:

that are amazing, and they're, they're they're confident in

Nina Perez:

certain areas, but when it comes to going to the next level, and

Nina Perez:

you know you're gonna go, instead of speaking to 100

Nina Perez:

people, now, you want to speak to 1000 people, or you want to

Nina Perez:

pitch in a different arena, or you want to, you know, grow and

Nina Perez:

scale your business, or whatever it is the next level, we always

Nina Perez:

get these ideas in our heads that maybe we're not ready, or

Nina Perez:

we're not good enough, or imposter syndrome. And I was in

Nina Perez:

the shower actually remembering a story of my dance days when I

Nina Perez:

was in Las Vegas for a world salsa championship, and I was

Nina Perez:

actually watching it. I wasn't performing or competing this

Nina Perez:

time, and I remember that I was in the crowd in the dance

Nina Perez:

community there. There was like a dance after the competition,

Nina Perez:

and the world champion was there, and we locked eyes, and I

Nina Perez:

smiled, and I walked up to him, and I had courage enough to say,

Nina Perez:

like, Can I have a dance with you? And he was like, Yes, after

Nina Perez:

this lady I'm dancing with, I can I can find you right after,

Nina Perez:

and we'll dance. And I was like, great. And then I went and I hid

Nina Perez:

in the bleachers. That's exactly what I did. And I watched him

Nina Perez:

dance with that beautiful woman. And then I saw. Him looking

Nina Perez:

around, and I knew he was looking for me, and I was kind

Nina Perez:

of sitting up high. You couldn't really see me unless you looked

Nina Perez:

up. And he wasn't. And so he looked around, and I saw him go

Nina Perez:

back and forth, and I froze, and I stayed sitting in the

Nina Perez:

bleachers watching, knowing that I let that opportunity go by,

Nina Perez:

knowing that I was like, stuck, because I was thinking, what if

Nina Perez:

I mess up, you know, he's the world champion. What if, you

Nina Perez:

know, he doesn't enjoy the dance, and what is he gonna

Nina Perez:

think of me? And this is when I was already an, you know, a

Nina Perez:

dancer, you know, I was already like, a big deal in my city, you

Nina Perez:

know, and so on. And it just made me think about this

Nina Perez:

morning, about how we sometimes stop ourselves, that voice in

Nina Perez:

our heads stop us. And for me, it was that shy girl that that

Nina Perez:

lack of confidence, and let me just share another story,

Nina Perez:

because within the same year, I actually LA

Janice Porter:

for a second before you'd share that other

Janice Porter:

story, I have to just step in, because if he had said yes

Janice Porter:

immediately, and you danced right then, because he wasn't

Janice Porter:

committed to the other person. None of

Nina Perez:

that would have happened. Perhaps, perhaps,

Nina Perez:

yeah, yeah, it would have no, I think yeah, you're right. I

Nina Perez:

think I would have danced if he had said yes right there. Yeah,

Nina Perez:

I would have probably been shaking in my boots. But you

Nina Perez:

didn't

Janice Porter:

have time to second doubt yourself, second

Janice Porter:

guess yourself, right? So, yeah, I think that's a huge piece

Janice Porter:

there. And you you sabotaged yourself, for sure. So now I

Janice Porter:

want

Nina Perez:

to 100% I lost that opportunity because of shyness,

Nina Perez:

lack of confidence. But I want to share I was in LA, like not

Nina Perez:

months later, and I went salsa dancing, and this gentleman

Nina Perez:

asked me to dance. And, you know, everybody seems good in

Nina Perez:

LA, I have no idea who's who, but at the end of the dance, and

Nina Perez:

we had an amazing dance, he did things that I was like, thank

Nina Perez:

God. I can relax and surrender to following and able to do

Nina Perez:

complicated moves that I've never done before, because he

Nina Perez:

was a good lead. He was amazing. And at the end he he goes to me,

Nina Perez:

if you're ever Where are you from? I'm like Vancouver,

Nina Perez:

because he knew you're not from Vancouver. He goes, if you ever

Nina Perez:

move to LA, I want you to call me. I want to dance with you.

Nina Perez:

And he gave me his card, and he was a world champion from the

Nina Perez:

Vegas competitions that I went. And it's so funny. So I didn't

Nina Perez:

know who he was, and I danced with him, no problem. And you

Nina Perez:

know, I think back to where I said, where I hid back with the

Nina Perez:

other world champion. And it was my head, it was my inner

Nina Perez:

thoughts that stopped me. The truth was, I was good enough to

Nina Perez:

dance with all of them, right? I mean, right, I got the proof

Nina Perez:

when I danced with the other gentleman. But because I didn't

Nina Perez:

know who he was, I was, you know, no problem and but it's us

Nina Perez:

who kind of believe our own lies. Yes, oh yeah, for sure,

Nina Perez:

amazing. I always think about the opportunity that could have.

Nina Perez:

What could have happened? You know, at the worst, we would

Nina Perez:

have had a dance, we would have maybe I would have, maybe

Nina Perez:

screwed up a little bit or not. I would, we would have been

Nina Perez:

friends. But at the worst, we would have had a great dance and

Nina Perez:

a great memory. But at the best, it could have been something for

Nina Perez:

my career. It could have been, who knows what the

Janice Porter:

right, but it wasn't your time. Then it wasn't

Janice Porter:

right. Yeah, it was. It was meant to teach you that for the

Janice Porter:

next time, obviously. I

Nina Perez:

mean, those are the stories that help me now in my

Nina Perez:

career, because now I know if I was my confident self talking to

Nina Perez:

my younger self, I said, go for it, you know, don't worry. Do

Nina Perez:

it. Do it messy, and go have that memory. Go have that

Nina Perez:

experience, and all those stories. And I have many that

Nina Perez:

have taught me how important it is to nurture your confidence,

Nina Perez:

embody your confidence, build it day to day, so that when the

Nina Perez:

opportunity comes, you don't let it slip away. You know,

Janice Porter:

so, how? So, how do we? How do you teach people

Janice Porter:

to embody their confidence?

Nina Perez:

Oh, I love this question. So we hear a lot in

Nina Perez:

the world about self care and you need to nurture and your

Nina Perez:

self love and confidence in your confidence. And what I feel like

Nina Perez:

it leads people to do is to try to carve out some time and do

Nina Perez:

self care. Maybe you want to meditate, maybe you want to

Nina Perez:

spend some time journaling and so on, and that is very

Nina Perez:

important. I'm not knocking that. However, I feel like

Nina Perez:

embodiment is when you take that big practice that maybe you

Nina Perez:

spend 20 minutes a day, or an hour a day meditating, or

Nina Perez:

whatever it is that helps you feel full and it helps you feel

Nina Perez:

confident in yourself. But you need to divide it into micro

Nina Perez:

habits during the day, where it reminds you about that self care

Nina Perez:

moment, or it helps you, in a micro way, bring that into your

Nina Perez:

moment to moment in everyday life, and that's where I find

Nina Perez:

people don't have enough training or skills, or they're

Nina Perez:

not finding their lives around it, and so they just do the self

Nina Perez:

care like in the morning,

Janice Porter:

but it's segregated. It's off by itself,

Janice Porter:

okay? And they slip

Nina Perez:

back into their old ways, or they forget, or like,

Nina Perez:

by the end of the day, you lose the willpower of the thing you

Nina Perez:

said. And, yeah. And so so it's not within your life. It's not

Nina Perez:

peppered into your movements, moment to moment. And so then

Nina Perez:

people are not embodying the things that they would like to

Nina Perez:

feel all the time. They're just feeling it at a prescribed time.

Nina Perez:

And so I teach clients how to make that habit of yes, you need

Nina Perez:

to have a moment where you practice this maybe gratitude

Nina Perez:

journal, or whatever it is, is going to help you feel confident

Nina Perez:

and full. But then how do you bring that in the 24 hours,

Nina Perez:

after, like, throughout, throughout your whole day, in

Nina Perez:

micro ways, so that it can keep nurturing, keep filling your cup

Nina Perez:

and you are feeling amazing throughout the day, or even when

Nina Perez:

you're having a challenge, or even when you're like, feeling

Nina Perez:

lower or something, and you're like, Okay, this is what I need

Nina Perez:

to do. I need to do an embodiment practice right now.

Nina Perez:

It has to take less than a minute and get you into that

Nina Perez:

reminder of who you really are and your practices.

Janice Porter:

So that's really big. That's a really big point.

Janice Porter:

Yeah, that's a really big point. And it made me think of

Janice Porter:

something, and I don't know if it's connected or not, but it's,

Janice Porter:

I guess I was in a personal development kind of course,

Janice Porter:

somewhere downtown one day, many, many, many years ago. And

Janice Porter:

one of the things that, one of the exercises that we had to do

Janice Porter:

was not in the day, but go home and do this like and come back

Janice Porter:

to the next class kind of thing was to go into a department

Janice Porter:

store or big store and have like, two different shoes on or

Janice Porter:

something. And like, you know it, because you know you're all

Janice Porter:

about image and all about looks. And you go outside and you

Janice Porter:

wearing either a slipper in a boot or whatever. And I did it.

Janice Porter:

Oh, and, of course, nobody cares. Nobody paid attention.

Janice Porter:

Nobody even knew, so what, right? But we get so it was, it

Janice Porter:

was a person. I think it was like a image consulting kind of

Janice Porter:

thing. I love it, yeah. And so nobody even paid attention. That

Janice Porter:

was a huge piece for me, you know, to say, you know, I mean,

Janice Porter:

I'm a detail oriented person, I noticed those things

Nina Perez:

I would have noticed, but, yeah, but it's not

Nina Perez:

like majority is noticing. People aren't looking

Janice Porter:

either. You know, they're in their fault nowadays.

Janice Porter:

They're just looking at their phones. But this was way back a

Janice Porter:

long time ago. But anyway, so how did, how would you like give

Janice Porter:

me an example of someone you're coaching and they're not

Janice Porter:

confident yet, and you're talking about this, and you're

Janice Porter:

saying, like, this is the type of micro lesson I want you to go

Janice Porter:

I want you to practice all this week.

Nina Perez:

I love it. I love it. I have one client, she was

Nina Perez:

moving transitions. She was transitioning careers. She

Nina Perez:

wanted to get out of the industry she was in, and she

Nina Perez:

wanted to try something completely different. And so we

Nina Perez:

started working on first getting clear, like, what is that new

Nina Perez:

career that you want? And at the time, because she didn't know,

Nina Perez:

she felt really indecisive. And so then that totally affected

Nina Perez:

her confidence, and in choosing what she wanted, but also in

Nina Perez:

deciding which, which path to go. And you know, it was, it was

Nina Perez:

a very tough moment for her. We finally went through creating a

Nina Perez:

vision, what do you want? What would be the ideal? But then one

Nina Perez:

of the things that came up during our sessions was that she

Nina Perez:

really wanted to feel like, I need to find my purpose. She

Nina Perez:

would say, right? And I gave her this idea that, yes, you can

Nina Perez:

have a purpose, but then you can live on purpose. You can,

Nina Perez:

throughout the day, have multiple purposes. You know,

Nina Perez:

sometimes it might be for you to be a present mother, or it might

Nina Perez:

be or a grandmother, right? Or it might be that you want to be

Nina Perez:

really a healthy cook for yourself during the day. And

Nina Perez:

then, you know, you you go and you're a business person, you're

Nina Perez:

a speaker, maybe that you want to have amazing presence when

Nina Perez:

you're speaking, connecting to the audience, whatever it is,

Nina Perez:

there's more than one purpose. It might be all under

Nina Perez:

connection, for example, that's my mission. But there's

Nina Perez:

different parts of the day where I'm following different

Nina Perez:

purposes, and I like to think of that, that I am living on

Nina Perez:

purpose. And so I gave her those ideas, and she thought about

Nina Perez:

them a lot. And so one of the habits, the bigger habits, was

Nina Perez:

for her to envision what she wanted and to think about all

Nina Perez:

the areas of her life. So we do that. This is very well known.

Nina Perez:

You know, in our world of coaching, you need to have a

Nina Perez:

vision. People carve it out. What I find that is one of the

Nina Perez:

mistakes people make is that they do that once a year, right?

Nina Perez:

Or, like, only New Year's resolutions, right? They're not

Nina Perez:

doing it at best, maybe once a quarter. But nobody looks at

Nina Perez:

that. You know, after they've done it. It's just what I

Nina Perez:

noticed, that people don't make, like, a living document anyway.

Nina Perez:

So we did that, the visioning, and I had her also think about,

Nina Perez:

how can she live? Like, look at the purpose that she has, the

Nina Perez:

vision. How can she live it in micro ways during the different

Nina Perez:

segments of her day? So she's working at her job, then she has

Nina Perez:

a partner in life, then she has a dog, then she has a community,

Nina Perez:

family, friendships. And we looked at a micro habit. So for

Nina Perez:

her, she was like, I want to embody this type of. Energy when

Nina Perez:

I'm with my partner. And so she wrote it down, and then she was

Nina Perez:

like, I want to embody this other type of energy when I'm

Nina Perez:

with my co workers. I want to really be a good listener. Okay,

Nina Perez:

great with her partner. She wanted to be present. Okay, with

Nina Perez:

her dog, she wanted to really enjoy her time outdoors and so

Nina Perez:

on. So the micro habit was for her to remember to do that, to

Nina Perez:

tune into the different feelings. But she used a

Nina Perez:

doorway. So anytime she would walk through the doorway of

Nina Perez:

whatever direction she was going into her house, she would

Nina Perez:

remember, oh, I want to embody being a present partner. And so

Nina Perez:

she would walk home, walk into the doorway, through the home,

Nina Perez:

and she would embody that vision of hers, which was the big

Nina Perez:

vision, but in a microwave when she would get in the car, that

Nina Perez:

was another doorway that she would get into and she would get

Nina Perez:

herself ready for work when she would get out the door to walk

Nina Perez:

the dog, again, the doorway was the trigger. That's good. It was

Nina Perez:

so good. You know, she changed completely. We had six months

Nina Perez:

working together, but it was a whole different person, because

Nina Perez:

she was enlivened by living on purpose. You know, in her

Nina Perez:

everyday, moment to moment, and it's so inspiring. You can even

Nina Perez:

see, like when I have her on Zoom, her first session to her

Nina Perez:

last session, her skin is even different, like she just looks

Nina Perez:

like she's glowing because she's so happy living on purpose. And

Nina Perez:

you know, life is not perfect. Her life. She hadn't figured out

Nina Perez:

the career yet and all this stuff, but she was living in

Nina Perez:

this place of feeling empowered and confident. So that's what I

Nina Perez:

love to do.

Janice Porter:

Oh yeah, that's beautiful. I love that. So we

Janice Porter:

have to talk though about how dance comes into this, because

Janice Porter:

that's been your life for many, many years, 40 years you said of

Janice Porter:

dance. And so how does movement, like dance, help unlock that

Janice Porter:

confidence and presence when you're in a professional career,

Janice Porter:

let's say in a professional space. I mean, I know, for me, I

Janice Porter:

love dancing, and I I haven't been able to dance for a long

Janice Porter:

time because my knees are bad. I'm getting old, but it breaks

Janice Porter:

my heart. So now I just love watching Dancing. But, yeah,

Janice Porter:

but, but I for many years, dancing was big for me, not

Janice Porter:

professional dancing, just casual, you know, for personal

Janice Porter:

fun dancing. But for you, it's been a lot, a big part of your

Janice Porter:

life and your career. So how do you work that in? Or do you with

Janice Porter:

your, oh,

Nina Perez:

100% Well, communication, as we know, is 7%

Nina Perez:

verbal and 93% nonverbal. So we're talking, there's a lot of

Nina Perez:

body language here. And when I used to teach dance, I used to

Nina Perez:

say, if you can walk, you can dance. But really, when we're

Nina Perez:

teaching out of dance, I say, like walking is like dancing.

Nina Perez:

It's a movement through the world. And so how you move

Nina Perez:

through the world matters, and people will make conclusions

Nina Perez:

about you. They will think things about you and even add

Nina Perez:

things that you may have nothing to do with you because of how

Nina Perez:

you walk and how you how you express, how you're using your

Nina Perez:

body language. And so not I don't teach people how to dance

Nina Perez:

all the time, but a lot of my practices are about getting into

Nina Perez:

your body and actually understanding your body, where,

Nina Perez:

how are you currently moving? What are you doing right now

Nina Perez:

that may be sending signals that are repelling people or

Nina Perez:

attracting people. So kind of getting to know your body,

Nina Perez:

getting into the body. And also, the thing that I use my dance

Nina Perez:

background, and helping people is understanding that you cannot

Nina Perez:

force the body so far out of the comfort zone and that and that

Nina Perez:

will not benefit you. What's going to happen is people will

Nina Perez:

come back. They'll slingshot back. And so let's say you push

Nina Perez:

yourself to go out and network every day for a month, or every

Nina Perez:

you know you do. You push yourself out of your comfort

Nina Perez:

zone so much, your body actually is getting a little bit

Nina Perez:

traumatized every time, because you may not want to do that, and

Nina Perez:

so you're forcing yourself. And so you're telling your brain, I

Nina Perez:

don't like this, but I'm doing this, and your brain is

Nina Perez:

recording this resistance, and then next time it's increasing

Nina Perez:

it, and next time is increasing it. So I help people get their

Nina Perez:

bodies feeling safe, feeling and working with their bodies as

Nina Perez:

they're going out to connect with the world, like you need to

Nina Perez:

go and connect, but you don't want to do it in a way that it's

Nina Perez:

so uncomfortable, so far out of your comfort zone, that your

Nina Perez:

body's like, let's record this one as a negative experience,

Nina Perez:

you know. And so how do you use that to your advantage? How to

Nina Perez:

help your brain and your body work with you. And so my dance

Nina Perez:

background has taught me a lot of getting into the body, how to

Nina Perez:

calm when you're nervous, right? How to calm your nervous system

Nina Perez:

down, but also, like how to tap into the energies that you do

Nina Perez:

want to exude when I was in dance, I could be sometimes very

Nina Perez:

playful, or I could be passionate, or I could be

Nina Perez:

demure, or I could be melancholic. When I would dance

Nina Perez:

tango like I could tune into different energies, different

Nina Perez:

identities, different ideas and well, did you think

Janice Porter:

that of did you think of that as acting, or is

Janice Porter:

it different? Does it.

Nina Perez:

Oh, I actually thought of that as feeling

Nina Perez:

different parts of myself, okay, you know? Because actually, if

Nina Perez:

you look at good acting, you don't think they're acting, you

Nina Perez:

know that, right? You know, tapping into some deep sorrow,

Nina Perez:

that's true, and using it, or else it would look fake, right?

Nina Perez:

And so I always say, Don't fake it till you make it. You want to

Nina Perez:

feel it till you become it. So that's where my dance background

Nina Perez:

helps me so much. I teach people how to feel these things really

Nina Perez:

naturally in your body, and then use that to move through your

Nina Perez:

world in this different feeling. Okay, people notice,

Janice Porter:

well, of course they do. Of course they do. I'm

Janice Porter:

thinking about like a new partnership, dance partnership,

Janice Porter:

business partnership, doesn't really matter, except that I

Janice Porter:

know you notice it very overtly when it's I'm thinking of

Janice Porter:

Dancing with the Stars right now. So when they first start

Janice Porter:

their their connection with each other, they have to learn to get

Janice Porter:

that chemistry. And some of them have it, and some of them don't

Janice Porter:

with their partner, right? And and so that's why I say

Janice Porter:

sometimes, like the the actors or the professional people who

Janice Porter:

are used to being in public, whether they're dancers or

Janice Porter:

something else, but they're used to dealing with the public, they

Janice Porter:

seem to have that such much more at ease than those who don't.

Janice Porter:

And yet, if you were like to get that chemistry, it's not acting

Janice Porter:

right. It's like you said, it's more it has to come from within.

Janice Porter:

But is it, I don't know, like, I'm like, oh, you know, is this

Janice Porter:

real? You know?

Nina Perez:

I think, I think we always feel a certain vibe, even

Nina Perez:

if we can't name it and so. So part of my work, a lot of

Nina Perez:

people, you know, they confuse this whole idea of fake it till

Nina Perez:

you make it and so on. I don't agree with that. I feel it till

Nina Perez:

you become it. But part of my work, I noticed with my clients,

Nina Perez:

that when they learn how to feel safe and relax, they bring out

Nina Perez:

who they naturally are. And so you are charismatic at home with

Nina Perez:

your friends or, like with your with the people that you feel

Nina Perez:

comfortable with. And so my job is to help you do that with

Nina Perez:

strangers, too, when you're networking or when you're out,

Nina Perez:

and really be able to learn how to share yourself so that others

Nina Perez:

can feel your heart and and connect with you in that way

Nina Perez:

when, you feel somebody's hard, somebody's, you know, values,

Nina Perez:

you you can't help but connect if you, if you share those

Nina Perez:

values,

Janice Porter:

right? I love that. I love those values. You

Janice Porter:

can't Yes, yeah, and I think that. So what you're doing

Janice Porter:

really is, is very rewarding when it

Nina Perez:

works, yeah, yeah, totally. It doesn't work. It's

Nina Perez:

data, it's data. And you need a tool, you need to learn a skill,

Nina Perez:

you need to figure it out. And it's all very figure outable, as

Nina Perez:

says, yeah, totally figure it out. And because we are very

Nina Perez:

humans, are we're all pretty much the same. A lot of time is

Nina Perez:

blocks around limiting beliefs or not knowing how to practice

Nina Perez:

in a way that makes you feel comfortable. I find that a lot

Nina Perez:

is that a lot of people understand that they need to go

Nina Perez:

and ask somebody a better question or start a

Nina Perez:

conversation, but they're not there yet it's too out of their

Nina Perez:

comfort zone to do that. And so how do you practice from not

Nina Perez:

being able to to being able to you have to break it down into

Nina Perez:

more baby steps. Sometimes I say to my clients, don't talk to the

Nina Perez:

people that you're you want to talk to, but you can't just go

Nina Perez:

and smile, or just go for a walk and make eye contact, and you

Nina Perez:

bring it down a bit, in a way that you're telling your body,

Nina Perez:

it's all good. I was able to do this little extra thing, and it

Nina Perez:

went well, and now your body is like, Okay, I'm getting

Nina Perez:

comfortable with this. Let's do the next one, right? But if

Nina Perez:

you're, like, pushing yourself so far out, then your body's

Nina Perez:

like, I don't ever want to do that again.

Janice Porter:

That's really, yeah, that's really good,

Janice Porter:

because it makes me think that for so many people, a lot of it

Janice Porter:

stems from their childhood. I mean, a lot of it stems back to

Janice Porter:

their childhood, whether it was really religious, and they

Janice Porter:

weren't allowed to do certain things, and now they're, you

Janice Porter:

know, becoming themselves and not and fighting. You know what?

Janice Porter:

They didn't wait. They've chosen to believe in or whatever. But

Janice Porter:

it may also be not necessarily religious, just a strict

Janice Porter:

upbringing, or a not so strict upbringing, or whatever it was

Janice Porter:

that it all comes out when, when they're in situations that could

Janice Porter:

be uncomfortable and are uncomfortable, yeah, because

Janice Porter:

they never experienced them. So, so what would you say the

Janice Porter:

biggest conception people have is the biggest conception

Janice Porter:

misconception people have about about charisma, or about just

Janice Porter:

showing up?

Nina Perez:

Well, I love this question. The biggest

Nina Perez:

misconception is that some people have it and some people

Nina Perez:

die, right? Oh, you're charismatic. I'm not

Nina Perez:

charismatic. And I believe that's a lie. I believe

Nina Perez:

everybody is charismatic. There's just different flavors

Nina Perez:

of charisma. And you just what, what is charisma? Charisma is

Nina Perez:

others perceiving you as highly warm and highly competent. So if

Nina Perez:

others see you that way, you will be labeled as charismatic.

Nina Perez:

Now there are so many different flavors. You know, Oprah is

Nina Perez:

highly charismatic. She's highly warm and competent. But also I

Nina Perez:

look at like somebody who's more shy, like Margaret Thatcher or

Nina Perez:

like Simon Sinek, right? He's a thoughtful leader, but he's not

Nina Perez:

going to be like making jokes like Trevor Noah, who's also

Nina Perez:

charismatic. All these people are charismatic, in addition

Nina Perez:

their own way. They do have you feel their warmth. You know that

Nina Perez:

they care about you and they also you feel their competence.

Nina Perez:

You know they're capable. You know that you can trust and rely

Nina Perez:

on what they're saying. They have authority credibility. But

Nina Perez:

it's not always the social butterfly. So sometimes people

Nina Perez:

equate charisma with social butterfly, and it doesn't have

Nina Perez:

to be that way. You just need to bring out your flavor of warmth

Nina Perez:

and your flavor of competence, what you know how to do it like

Nina Perez:

what you're capable of, your abilities and so on. And so if

Nina Perez:

you know how to do that, while you are having conversations and

Nina Perez:

sharing how you care, and then what you know, then people will

Nina Perez:

perceive you as that, and everybody wants to hang out with

Nina Perez:

people who are charismatic because you like them and you

Nina Perez:

trust them and so on. So that's the biggest myth. I don't have

Nina Perez:

it. It's not me or or the other thing, well, when once people

Nina Perez:

believe that they are somewhat charismatic, the second

Nina Perez:

misconception, or the second thing I run into is I can only

Nina Perez:

do it for some time, so it's like, I turn it on, I turn it

Nina Perez:

off, I have to be on and have to and then I have to go off. So

Nina Perez:

they toggle between

Janice Porter:

being because it's exhausting. Is

Nina Perez:

this exhausting? Yes, and that's because they do

Nina Perez:

not have rituals of radiance, I call them. They don't have a way

Nina Perez:

to nurture their confidence daily, like I said earlier, yes,

Nina Perez:

yes, dedicated time, but your micro moments and so of course,

Nina Perez:

you're going to drain your energy if you do not have a way

Nina Perez:

to sustain it throughout your 24 hours.

Janice Porter:

That's a very good point I hadn't thought of

Janice Porter:

because it's true. People say then, oh, well, I'm an introvert

Janice Porter:

or I'm an extrovert, and that's where they and that isn't

Janice Porter:

necessarily the same thing at all.

Nina Perez:

Well, I'm an introvert, and I have to say, a

Nina Perez:

lot of people in the limelight are introverts. I know how to

Nina Perez:

bring out what's important, right? They know how to share

Nina Perez:

themselves.

Janice Porter:

Yeah, it's just that. But a lot of a lot of in

Janice Porter:

performers, particularly actors, they're more shy than, not

Janice Porter:

necessarily, introverts, because introverts don't get their

Janice Porter:

energy from a lot of an audience or a big lot of people, whereas

Janice Porter:

extroverts do. So I think there's again, it's just

Janice Porter:

terminology and so forth as well. Okay, so you've answered

Janice Porter:

some of my questions already, but let's talk about leadership.

Janice Porter:

Do you? Do you come across some some of your clients are trying

Janice Porter:

to level up you'd mentioned earlier? Yes, and how? Like,

Janice Porter:

what do you see as one of the biggest things that you have to

Janice Porter:

work with them on? Is it because you mentioned about speaking to

Janice Porter:

bigger crowds? But it's not just that for leadership is in many

Janice Porter:

different things. So what comes to mind for you

Nina Perez:

well, so I'll answer this in two ways. Two things

Nina Perez:

come to mind. First of this, this, when we're talking about

Nina Perez:

leadership and sharing yourself to the world, is that their

Nina Perez:

opinions matter, that they're relevant, that they have enough

Nina Perez:

to share. You know, a lot of people are worried of of stating

Nina Perez:

their stories or sharing or even sharing stories, like, I don't

Nina Perez:

want to monopolize the conversation, or I don't want to

Nina Perez:

be and, you know, and usually you won't, if you have that

Nina Perez:

thought, you will ask questions too. But you do want to share a

Nina Perez:

little bit more detail about you than just, you know, facts,

Nina Perez:

right? You want to share stories then, and also, you want to

Nina Perez:

share your opinions. So that's one part that I'm noticing with

Nina Perez:

all the people that I work with, and wherever they are I work

Nina Perez:

with solo printers and entrepreneurs and CEOs, it

Nina Perez:

doesn't matter they're it's still going to be different

Nina Perez:

arenas, but it's still the same, the same issue of like, not

Nina Perez:

being sure if what they have to say is important, relevant

Nina Perez:

enough. You know, the second part is doing that on social

Nina Perez:

media. So now, when you have the audience that you don't see,

Nina Perez:

right, the non audience, right? It's there, but you don't

Nina Perez:

actually, you can interact. You cannot see the reactions of

Nina Perez:

people. You don't know how it's landing. What are they thinking

Nina Perez:

saying? On the other side of that green.or the red dot, then

Nina Perez:

there's a different level of anxiety, and also because it's

Nina Perez:

going to stay forever, right? Like it's going to be out there,

Nina Perez:

it's on video, or it's going to be loaded, or whatever. So it's

Nina Perez:

another level, where I find people are hiding, or they're

Nina Perez:

just worried, or they just cannot get the courage to put

Nina Perez:

themselves out there again. And I battle with this all the time

Nina Perez:

too. So. It's as you're leveling up, there is going to be an edge

Nina Perez:

that you're going to come up against, and you need to really

Nina Perez:

lean into your confidence who you are, your past, harvest your

Nina Perez:

past, and also know that you are going to help someone. Your

Nina Perez:

story will be somebody else's. You know, Survival Manual is

Nina Perez:

what Brene Brown says. So share your story.

Janice Porter:

Well, okay, so the first example that you gave,

Janice Porter:

which now I've just forgotten about more in person and about,

Janice Porter:

oh, about telling stories versus not telling stories, I think I,

Janice Porter:

for example, well, I'm thinking about, you know, stories sell,

Janice Porter:

facts tell, or something like that. That's how it goes, right?

Janice Porter:

Facts tell, stories sell. And so it's important to learn how to

Janice Porter:

tell a story so that it, it does so many things. It if you're

Janice Porter:

telling a story like for me, when I talk, somebody said this

Janice Porter:

to me once on a podcast, when you talk about your

Janice Porter:

granddaughter, you light up like you would not believe. And it's

Janice Porter:

true, right? So when I tell a story about my granddaughter,

Janice Porter:

I'm I'm really authentically me, because I just love her so much,

Janice Porter:

and I love everything about being a grandma, I'm going to

Janice Porter:

start crying. But that being said, if I'm nervous or if I

Janice Porter:

don't think it's appropriate, I might just, you know, rattle on

Janice Porter:

facts, right? And that's not going to be as effective in a

Janice Porter:

conversation, right? Mind you, I tend to deflect as well, and I

Janice Porter:

will ask questions and get the other person talking. And I find

Janice Porter:

that to be very helpful for me when I'm, you know, trying to

Janice Porter:

get to know people or, you know, whatever, but, um, but yet, if

Janice Porter:

I'm doing a presentation, that's the hardest thing for me to do,

Janice Porter:

is to tell stories. And I remember someone saying to me,

Janice Porter:

pick someone in the first row and just speak to them. Yeah,

Janice Porter:

right. So it's little things like that, but, but it just made

Janice Porter:

me think of those, those things I wanted to share. And then the

Janice Porter:

second part of what you were talking about, about social

Janice Porter:

media, I think there's like, Well, I I, at first I thought

Janice Porter:

there was, like a dividing line between generations, that it was

Janice Porter:

easier for the younger generations to talk about

Janice Porter:

themselves and the older generations. But then I see

Janice Porter:

someone like the this, the golden Bachelorette, who's put

Janice Porter:

her whole life out there and is now making money from it, apart

Janice Porter:

from her being on The Bachelorette So, and she's, you

Janice Porter:

know, almost 70, if she's not 70, but, yeah, it's just

Janice Porter:

interesting. It's what is your comfort zone on things like

Janice Porter:

that. So I guess, like you said, Baby steps, baby steps, baby

Nina Perez:

steps. Yeah, so with my clients, I'll say, you know,

Nina Perez:

somebody asks you what you're interested or what's your

Nina Perez:

passion project, and you're, you know, or what's, what's your

Nina Perez:

hobbies? And you're like, I like to do yoga three times a week.

Nina Perez:

Great. That's a little story. Yeah, that's a little fact. It's

Nina Perez:

a fact, right? But if you share more like, I like to do, I like

Nina Perez:

to do yoga three times a week because I find that it enliven

Nina Perez:

my energy, or because I love the music that they use, and it just

Nina Perez:

makes me think about peace all the time, and whatever it is,

Nina Perez:

you just add because, and you just add one more layer, okay,

Nina Perez:

little story, yeah, that's the baby step. You know, eventually

Nina Perez:

you'll be able to tell stories that grip somebody's heart and

Nina Perez:

makes them be like, what? What's the next thing? Right? Yeah,

Nina Perez:

yeah. In the beginning, you just start with a little one more

Nina Perez:

layer, okay? And then sometimes you may, share like a moment in

Nina Perez:

time in the past, and then you describe it a little bit like,

Nina Perez:

who was there? Was it in the kitchen? What were you talking

Nina Perez:

about? Like, what happened in the I just wrote a chapter for a

Nina Perez:

book called pain to power, and I describe a moment where I

Nina Perez:

slammed the door in the car, and I felt that slamming the door

Nina Perez:

was like some hypnotist waking me up, you know? And I remember

Nina Perez:

that moment. It changed my life, that moment, but it was the slam

Nina Perez:

of the door, and I described that in the chapter. And so you

Nina Perez:

get better at having others see you in the moment, slamming the

Nina Perez:

car door. Now that's a better story, right? They can put

Nina Perez:

themselves, and as you share your story, they're gonna relate

Nina Perez:

to parts of what you say, and they're gonna think, Am I like

Nina Perez:

that? Or, you know, and that's when you start connecting at a

Nina Perez:

deeper level, right? As if you can find common ground, like,

Nina Perez:

Oh, I've thought about that too, or I have a moment like that

Nina Perez:

too. Or what you said, I know what that feels like. Now you're

Nina Perez:

creating that chemistry you were talking about earlier, because

Nina Perez:

we're connecting heart to heart, energy to energy, common ground

Nina Perez:

to common ground, right,

Janice Porter:

right, right, that's beautiful. I was just

Janice Porter:

thinking, and this isn't on my question list, but I know you

Janice Porter:

have a son, right? Or two, you have one son.

Nina Perez:

I have a son that I that I birthed, and then I have

Nina Perez:

known his daughter, right? Okay? His daughter, all right. So I

Janice Porter:

wanted to, how long have you been, seven years

Janice Porter:

with your partner, okay, yeah, so, but with your son, I wanted

Janice Porter:

to, I wanted to say, have you seen or when he was younger,

Janice Porter:

when he was the only child? Now he's got an older sibling,

Janice Porter:

right? Yeah, they're the same age. Actually, they're, Oh,

Janice Porter:

that's right, that's right. They are. So do you see any, any, any

Janice Porter:

areas where you have had, you've taught him those things along

Janice Porter:

the way? I'm trying to say

Nina Perez:

no, because kids, they don't listen to you, but

Nina Perez:

they watch you, you know, and they, it's like, they observe

Nina Perez:

and they, they're like little sponges. So I Okay, so I have a

Nina Perez:

beautiful story. It was five in the morning, and Gavin, I'm up

Nina Perez:

early every morning, and I hear him, like, rustling around. I'm

Nina Perez:

like, what's going on? And he's making this card, and it's the

Nina Perez:

last day of elementary school, and he's like, you know,

Nina Perez:

ruffling through his thick crafts in his bedroom and making

Nina Perez:

a card for a friend. And he was so like, I, I really want to

Nina Perez:

make sure they know what, how I care about them, and I want to

Nina Perez:

continue the friendship, even though we're going to different

Nina Perez:

schools and so on. And so he thought it was important enough

Nina Perez:

to wake up like hours before he normally wakes up to make this

Nina Perez:

card for his friend and to give it on the last day of school.

Nina Perez:

That is from him observing that I always say, like you need to

Nina Perez:

you want to make cards like he sees me writing letters and

Nina Perez:

cards to people and sending things and and, but I always say

Nina Perez:

to him, it's so important to tell people what you what you

Nina Perez:

love about them, what you admire about them, and so on. And so I

Nina Perez:

was so proud, you know, I felt so wonderful just to to observe

Nina Perez:

him, that it was important to him to wake up early. And you

Nina Perez:

know how kids are with sleep? Yes, they don't want to wake up,

Nina Perez:

right? And they don't want to go to sleep, they want to stay up

Nina Perez:

late, and so on. But he he woke up and made it a priority for

Nina Perez:

him to do this before breakfast and and it was beautiful. And he

Nina Perez:

read me the note. And I was like, I was like, so touched. It

Nina Perez:

was a beautiful letter to his friend to keep the friendship

Nina Perez:

going. And, yeah, of course, you know, I made a post about that

Nina Perez:

because I was so like, oh yeah, about how when you care people,

Nina Perez:

you know, you do things, you do the extra thing. So are you

Nina Perez:

showing people that you care? You know, when you're even

Nina Perez:

building new relationships, are you asking questions? Are you

Nina Perez:

finding out? Are you showing up for your new friends, to their

Nina Perez:

master classes, to the thing? Are you doing the things that

Nina Perez:

are gonna help that relationship grow.

Janice Porter:

It's funny. I have a cute little story about

Janice Porter:

Amara, my granddaughter. They live in an apartment complex.

Janice Porter:

It's fairly big one, and it's new, and there's lots of people

Janice Porter:

around, and there's dogs allowed. And my my other

Janice Porter:

daughter, not the mother of Amara, but my other daughter has

Janice Porter:

a dog, and they actually live together, all of them, and Amara

Janice Porter:

and I were going down the elevator one day, and this guy

Janice Porter:

came in the elevator with his one of his two dogs, and she

Janice Porter:

looked, and she's six, and she looked at the guy, and she said,

Janice Porter:

Hi, how's and she patted The dog, and the dog's name was

Janice Porter:

Carol, which is quite funny in itself. And she said, and I

Janice Porter:

forget the other dog's name, but she asked this guy. She said,

Janice Porter:

hi. She said, How's Joan, you know, the other dog, whatever

Janice Porter:

the dog's name was, how's Joan doing? Like she wasn't afraid to

Janice Porter:

ask. She knew this dog more than she knew the person. She was

Janice Porter:

very it was so cute. But you know, we we have this thing

Janice Porter:

about, you know, don't talk to strangers. And yet, there's

Janice Porter:

something, you know, it shuts kids down too much. Sometimes we

Janice Porter:

have to know and be but we have to understand the difference

Janice Porter:

too, and that's sometimes difficult when you're six, yeah,

Janice Porter:

but

Nina Perez:

adults carry that like now you're 3040, and you

Nina Perez:

still have that in the back of your mind. Don't talk to

Nina Perez:

strangers running the fact that you're like, not being friendly

Nina Perez:

in the world.

Janice Porter:

Yeah, exactly. It's crazy, right? All right.

Janice Porter:

Last question about your work, because I can see in just the

Janice Porter:

conversation we've had, people will see or will listen. Will

Janice Porter:

hear our listeners will actually hear the passion that you have

Janice Porter:

for your work. I can I know it because it comes through so

Janice Porter:

clearly. So what would you say to someone who thinks that

Janice Porter:

they're just not that confident, that you know knowing that this

Janice Porter:

can be learned?

Nina Perez:

Yeah, so you, all of us, started with not being

Nina Perez:

confident. And even if you have achievements, you still may have

Nina Perez:

an area where you're like, I know I'm hiding. I know I'm not

Nina Perez:

going to go for it. I know I'm like, waiting for something to

Nina Perez:

happen. We all have that in every moment. And the thing is,

Nina Perez:

it is something that you can nurture. It is something that

Nina Perez:

can grow just like a flower. Right? We know it takes time, we

Nina Perez:

know it takes some daily practice, but it can be really

Nina Perez:

fun, like, I give my clients home fun. I don't call it

Nina Perez:

homework. I'm like, home fun that you're gonna do, and it's

Nina Perez:

little experiments, and there's no, like, right or wrong way.

Nina Perez:

It's not one size fits all. You know, some some of my tools, I

Nina Perez:

call them self connection tools. You might not love one or the

Nina Perez:

other, but you want to try them and see how it feels if it if

Nina Perez:

your nervous system is like, I loved that great. You know, if

Nina Perez:

your nervous system is like, that was really hard. Like, one

Nina Perez:

of the things I sometimes ask clients to do is just really

Nina Perez:

simply, you know, look in the mirror and tell themselves

Nina Perez:

something great about themselves. A lot of my clients

Nina Perez:

cannot do that, let alone if I say, say I love you to yourself

Nina Perez:

in the mirror, that that is very hard to do, and so we tone it

Nina Perez:

back to, well, look in the mirror and tell the mirror, tell

Nina Perez:

yourself what you did today. I went to the doctor, and I went

Nina Perez:

to the groceries and and just start and that, that is the baby

Nina Perez:

step needed to start becoming like, able to relate to yourself

Nina Perez:

in a different way while you're looking at yourself in the

Nina Perez:

mirror. So everybody starts somewhere, and it can definitely

Nina Perez:

be learned, and it's a skill, and you just have to do some

Nina Perez:

home fun around it. Okay, go from A to B, and most again,

Nina Perez:

most of the time the the change is much more rapid than we we

Nina Perez:

think. You know, I just did a three day live workshop, and

Nina Perez:

after the three days, a lot of people are like, I can see how,

Nina Perez:

if I did this every day, I can see how it can be possible that

Nina Perez:

my energy will stay up, that I can have, you know, I'm capable

Nina Perez:

and resourceful. I can do all these things. You know, when you

Nina Perez:

can see the path, it's much easier for you to go,

Janice Porter:

and it's also lovely that you have someone in

Janice Porter:

your corner. Oh, yeah, yeah, right. So I see that that would

Janice Porter:

be really helpful as well

Nina Perez:

community, because I also have communities that you

Nina Perez:

can be a part of, so you don't only learn from me, but you can

Nina Perez:

also see what the other clients are doing. I love group

Nina Perez:

programs, because that's it. You know, even in corporations, we

Nina Perez:

have a board of directors. It's not just a low

Janice Porter:

speed off each other, right? Yeah, for sure.

Janice Porter:

Okay, well, I wasn't going to ask this so, but I am going to,

Janice Porter:

because I think it's important piece that I asked some of my

Janice Porter:

guests. I don't I haven't been asking it lately, but I think

Janice Porter:

this is a perfect time to ask it. And this is my curiosity

Janice Porter:

question, okay, okay, because I think that that we both know the

Janice Porter:

power of curiosity, and it's my favorite word. And I want to

Janice Porter:

know from you two things. One, do you think that it's innate or

Janice Porter:

learned? And secondly, what are you most curious about these

Janice Porter:

days?

Nina Perez:

What great questions I think. I think we start off as

Nina Perez:

innate like babies are curious. They want to eat everything,

Nina Perez:

they want to touch everything. They want to explore everything.

Nina Perez:

I think over time, we lose that curiosity, and we need to

Nina Perez:

relearn it. And so I do so much work on teaching people how to

Nina Perez:

look at people in a curious way, like how to look at the world in

Nina Perez:

a curious way. Go for a walk and find 10 things that you're like.

Nina Perez:

This is amazing. This is beautiful. This is awe

Nina Perez:

inspiring. So that's nurturing your curiosity, that's

Nina Perez:

developing that skill of curiosity. So as a baby, we have

Nina Perez:

it some way. As we're growing up, we kind of lose the

Nina Perez:

innateness of it, and then we have to relearn it. And what I'm

Nina Perez:

curious about, I'm curious about so many things. I mean, I'm

Nina Perez:

reading four books at the same time. I

Janice Porter:

was just gonna ask you what you're fit what

Janice Porter:

you're reading.

Nina Perez:

So I can tell you I'm curious right now about

Nina Perez:

listening. You know the opposite of what we're

Janice Porter:

doing? Do you know? Do you know what the

Janice Porter:

anagram of listen is? No, I don't silent. Ah, isn't that

Janice Porter:

interesting? That is, that is so cool. I know. How can you listen

Janice Porter:

if you're too busy talking

Nina Perez:

exactly, so that's one of the books I'm reading.

Nina Perez:

Okay, listening the Forgotten skill.

Janice Porter:

Oh, I have that book. It's been around for a

Janice Porter:

while, right? A long time. Yeah, that's where I got it from, I'm

Janice Porter:

sure, from that book, because I used to teach listening as part

Janice Porter:

of one of the courses soft skills I used to teach. And

Janice Porter:

that's, I'm sure it's in my library over here. Anyway,

Janice Porter:

amazing. Okay, yeah,

Nina Perez:

so I'm really curious about what would be the

Nina Perez:

possibility if I keep improving my listening skills, what is

Nina Perez:

gonna come out of that? Like and, you know, in the world, we

Nina Perez:

hear a lot, people want to be seen, heard and loved and so on.

Nina Perez:

And I feel like, you know, we're not in there's not enough

Nina Perez:

attention on listening, really, from the heart. Mm, hmm, so

Nina Perez:

that's what I'm curious. I mean, I'm curious about a lot of

Nina Perez:

things.

Janice Porter:

No, I was just thinking I was trying to just

Janice Porter:

take that in, because I think the more we listen carefully and

Janice Porter:

and fully, the more curious. Curious we become, the more we

Janice Porter:

can build rapport with people. I think it goes around and around,

Janice Porter:

but you have to be curious enough to do it in the first

Janice Porter:

place. And you know, like, I do it with LinkedIn training, I'm

Janice Porter:

like, Look at this person's profile and see what in there.

Janice Porter:

Do you see that you're curious about. Is there anything there

Janice Porter:

that you're curious about? And it could be the the one little

Janice Porter:

word that they have in their specialty section that says two

Janice Porter:

words that says, you know, like dance junkie, or something like

Janice Porter:

that, you know, something that would connect that person with

Janice Porter:

you and so on. So yeah, I think it's just the start of

Janice Porter:

everything for me is curiosity. So thank you for sharing with

Janice Porter:

that, and this has been amazing. Yeah, I loved it. What a great

Janice Porter:

conversation. Oh, thank you. So for my listeners, I think you

Janice Porter:

would agree that confidence isn't just a skill. It's

Janice Porter:

something you carry, you communicate and you embody and

Janice Porter:

as Nina has shared today, when you stop trying to prove

Janice Porter:

yourself and start showing up fully, everything changes your

Janice Porter:

leadership, your conversations, your relationships, whether

Janice Porter:

you're building a business or leading a team, the way you feel

Janice Porter:

in your body shapes the way others experience you. So the

Janice Porter:

next time you walk into a room, ask yourself, not what should I

Janice Porter:

say, but how do I want to be remembered? And thanks for

Janice Porter:

joining us today on relationships rule and remember

Janice Porter:

to stay connected and be remembered. Thank you.

Nina Perez:

Nina, oh my gosh. Thank you so much. Janice, you.

Listen for free

Show artwork for Relationships Rule

About the Podcast

Relationships Rule
It’s always about Relationships!
Imagine that 68% of our clients leave because they feel we don’t care. Then visualize having authentic heart-based retention strategies, proven to minimize client losses, while organically generating a substantial number of loyal clients through referrals.

Catch a glimpse of how Janice opens a conversation by applying her fine-tuned curiosity. Notice how genuinely interested she is in building a relationship with her guests – heart-based business owners and entrepreneurs. In mere minutes, guests generously share their most sweet and powerful retention systems that you can adopt today!

As a seasoned relationship marketing specialist, Janice invites us to listen in weekly, as she reveals how to nurture and build relationships in real-time.

The Relationships Rule podcast’s aim, is to help you naturally ease your networking fears, so you can adopt strategies that amplify your client list, because the facts are, that today, success is built on a foundation of strong relationships. You can relax now, knowing you can activate your relationship marketing plan, by simply tuning in to Relationships Rule each week.

About your host

Profile picture for Janice Porter

Janice Porter

I began my career as a teacher, was a corporate trainer for many years, and have now found my niche in coaching business owners to network at a world-class level.
My passion is working with motivated people, who are coachable and who want to build their businesses through relationship marketing and networking (offline & online). I help my clients create retention strategies, grow through referrals, and create loyal customers by staying connected.