Episode 273

full
Published on:

27th Aug 2024

Meet America’s Marketing Motivator – Kathy McAfee | RR273

Kathy McAfee is an executive coach, mentor and multiple book author - known as America's Marketing Motivator. She has built a huge network of clients over 17 years in business, through her purpose-driven work and creating real relationships. Today, Kathy’s work is aimed at helping women and people of color to be culturally aware, be competent, and overcome barriers to leadership.

Kathy’s quote: “Networking is more than an event or activity. It's a strategy for a successful life” has really been the framework of her work all along – and resonates so much with my values … as you will hear in the episode.

Learn more about Kathy at her website: www.americasmarketingmotivator.com

Learn more about Kathy’s signature program: www.TheFearlessLeader.com

Connect with Kathy on LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/kathymcafee/


In appreciation for being here, I have some gifts for you:

A LinkedIn Checklist for setting up your fully optimized Profile:

An opportunity to test drive the Follow Up system I recommend by taking the

3 Card Sampler – you won’t regret it.


AND … Don’t forget to connect with me on LinkedIn and be eligible for my

complimentary LinkedIn profile audit – I do one each month for a lucky

listener!


Connect with me:

http://JanicePorter.com

https://www.linkedin.com/in/janiceporter/

https://www.facebook.com/janiceporter1

https://www.instagram.com/socjanice/


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Transcript
Janice Porter:

Cathy, Hello everyone, and welcome to this

Janice Porter:

week's episode of the relationships rule podcast. My

Janice Porter:

guest this week is Kathy McAfee, and I am so excited to talk to

Janice Porter:

Kathy, and I'll explain why when I have introduced her, because

Janice Porter:

she is a dynamo in a field that is very near and dear to my

Janice Porter:

heart. She is an executive coach, a mentor and author, and

Janice Porter:

is known as America's marketing motivator. She launched her

Janice Porter:

company 17 years ago and built a robust client base through

Janice Porter:

relationships, referrals and purpose driven work, and today,

Janice Porter:

she works with organizations to prepare for the future by

Janice Porter:

building more diverse leadership pipelines and with professionals

Janice Porter:

who want to seat at the at the leadership table. Her signature

Janice Porter:

work is the fearless leader program, an eight week group

Janice Porter:

mentoring experience designed to help women and people of color

Janice Porter:

overcome barriers to leadership. She teaches them how to leverage

Janice Porter:

their connections courage and confidence to build more

Janice Porter:

successful businesses, careers and futures. And I think that's

Janice Porter:

a piece of work that I really want to dig into in a bit,

Janice Porter:

because I think it's got such relevance. And Kathy is the

Janice Porter:

author of several books, including one that caught my

Janice Porter:

attention called networking ahead. So first of all, Kathy,

Janice Porter:

welcome, welcome. Welcome to the show. Thank

Kathy McAfee:

you, Janice, so great to be here with you and

Kathy McAfee:

your listeners. Thank

Janice Porter:

you so much. And I have to just share with my

Janice Porter:

audience that Kathy and I actually connected on LinkedIn a

Janice Porter:

few years ago, but nothing of any relevance, like we didn't

Janice Porter:

really, I don't think have a conversation, per se, I don't

Janice Porter:

know, you know, we're always prone to saying yes to people

Janice Porter:

and not really doing much with it. And and I had followed Cathy

Janice Porter:

in her in fact, I found some in my in my files of your

Janice Porter:

newsletter, because it was all about networking, and I was

Janice Porter:

teaching networking, and so I loved what I heard. I must have

Janice Porter:

heard you speak somewhere, and that's when we connected. And

Janice Porter:

just recently, I've been doing a campaign to reconnect with

Janice Porter:

connections on LinkedIn, which is such an important piece that

Janice Porter:

even I don't do as a networker often enough. And through that

Janice Porter:

reconnection with Kathy on LinkedIn, we actually have had a

Janice Porter:

conversation, and here we are today, and that's what I love,

Janice Porter:

that reconnecting with people is so important. So the first thing

Janice Porter:

I want to ask you, though, is about your your take on

Janice Porter:

networking in the sense that you have a quote that I love more

Janice Porter:

than anything, networking is more than an event or activity,

Janice Porter:

it's a strategy for a successful life. And that, I think, was the

Janice Porter:

basis of that book, and I want you to speak to that, because I

Janice Porter:

couldn't agree more,

Kathy McAfee:

that has been a key message. In fact, it's

Kathy McAfee:

almost been a quote to me. I have said it so many times to so

Kathy McAfee:

many groups, and I believe it so wholeheartedly. And I think one

Kathy McAfee:

of the reasons that people dislike networking is because of

Kathy McAfee:

those weird feelings that we get inside ourselves when we're at

Kathy McAfee:

events talking to strangers small talk. Why am I here? And

Kathy McAfee:

that's how we think of networking, as this awkward

Kathy McAfee:

experience at an event, and we don't like to do the activity,

Kathy McAfee:

but if you raise it up to its strategic purpose, it is so much

Kathy McAfee:

more than that. It is a strategy, much like we have

Kathy McAfee:

strategies to grow our business, to advance our careers, be

Kathy McAfee:

essential how we're going to build the thing that we care

Kathy McAfee:

about. So if you look at networking in a higher platform

Kathy McAfee:

and start to treat it like a true business strategy, then all

Kathy McAfee:

that weirdness just goes away. It's like, let's get on with

Kathy McAfee:

this building of the network and these relationships.

Janice Porter:

Yes, and I think, and I may have gotten this from

Janice Porter:

you, I don't know, but when I was looking at teaching, and I

Janice Porter:

did, I taught networking courses to people in the Chamber of

Janice Porter:

Commerce, locally and and business, small business owners.

Janice Porter:

And I always used to say, you know, when you the work starts

Janice Porter:

before you go to the event, right? So what are the things

Janice Porter:

you need to do when you get there? And that's part of the

Janice Porter:

strategy, right? And I always said there are five people you

Janice Porter:

need to meet in an event. And I don't know what your thoughts

Janice Porter:

are in this, but for me, it was the host, the speaker, the the

Janice Porter:

the registration person, because they could point you in the

Janice Porter:

right direction. And then two hubs, I called them people who

Janice Porter:

know everybody, and so if you can connect with those people,

Janice Porter:

that's, you know, you're nodding your head. My audience can't see

Janice Porter:

that. So tell me your thoughts on whether you say I love

Kathy McAfee:

it. I love it. You know, I'm a student of

Kathy McAfee:

networking. I just learned something really important to

Kathy McAfee:

like. I used to tell my my folks, that. They just need to

Kathy McAfee:

kind of create a low benchmark. If you're going to go to an

Kathy McAfee:

event, come away with the least three have three meaningful

Kathy McAfee:

conversations and three connections that you can follow

Kathy McAfee:

up on. You do not have to follow up and meet every single person

Kathy McAfee:

at that event that would be overwhelming and impossible. I

Kathy McAfee:

do love Janice, how you've kind of targeted who those key people

Kathy McAfee:

are, and you're right. The host, absolutely, the guest speaker,

Kathy McAfee:

yes, and so many times as a guest speaker, people don't,

Kathy McAfee:

they don't, but the ones that do, they get our attention. And

Kathy McAfee:

speakers are an interesting group of thought leaders that I

Kathy McAfee:

think would be really good to have in your professional

Kathy McAfee:

network. Yeah.

Janice Porter:

So I always remember another important

Janice Porter:

thing, and maybe you could speak to this, because when people,

Janice Porter:

small business owners, are becoming they get the

Janice Porter:

opportunity to speak in front of a group as well, and perhaps,

Janice Porter:

and when they go this happened to me with it with somebody that

Janice Porter:

I know, and and she was very good at what she did, but when

Janice Porter:

she got up in front of the room, she was definitely going outside

Janice Porter:

of her comfort zone. And and good for her for doing that, but

Janice Porter:

she would sort of wait in the background till it was time for

Janice Porter:

everyone to sit down and then for her to speak. And I would

Janice Porter:

say to her, go and work the audience before you get up

Janice Porter:

there, because then you can involve them from those mini

Janice Porter:

conversations that you've had. But you see, for somebody who's

Janice Porter:

not comfortable with it, she probably wouldn't have been able

Janice Porter:

to do that anyway,

Kathy McAfee:

right? Brilliant, brilliant advice. When we speak

Kathy McAfee:

it in groups, we want to be of service to the audience, as

Kathy McAfee:

opposed to me, me, me, I look at me. I'm the expert. You know,

Kathy McAfee:

you want to connect with your audience. It's another form of

Kathy McAfee:

connection, one to many, but it really is always one to one. So

Kathy McAfee:

by by, if you will, working the room or just introducing

Kathy McAfee:

yourself and and finding out who's in the room before the

Kathy McAfee:

event. Couple things happen. You get out of your own head and you

Kathy McAfee:

stop worrying about your presentation anxiety. It's not

Kathy McAfee:

going to help you anyway, so it warms you up as well as gives

Kathy McAfee:

you a sense of who's in the room. And some of those you

Kathy McAfee:

know, conversations that you have before you speak can be the

Kathy McAfee:

ones that come up and talk to you afterwards, because now they

Kathy McAfee:

want you to succeed, right? So great, great advice. And yes, we

Kathy McAfee:

all need to do that. There's so much anxiety with what am I

Kathy McAfee:

going to say? How am I going to introduce myself? We stop

Kathy McAfee:

listening, we stop learning, and we're no longer curious about

Kathy McAfee:

other people. We're just worried about ourself. Yeah, that is a

Kathy McAfee:

recipe for disaster. So I love your focus on curiosity. Janice,

Kathy McAfee:

I think it is kind of a part of the DNA relationship building.

Janice Porter:

It is, it is totally, I can't help myself,

Janice Porter:

actually. And sometimes it can be, you know, you ask too many

Janice Porter:

questions. Janice, you know, but it is who I am. So. So what

Janice Porter:

would you say, then, is the path to a more fearless networking

Janice Porter:

approach, or to being that fearless networker?

Kathy McAfee:

I love it, and I love that you said path exactly

Kathy McAfee:

what it is. It's like a road. It's a journey. And as I was

Kathy McAfee:

thinking about this idea, the book Who Moved My Cheese, oh

Kathy McAfee:

yes, yes, classic book, if you haven't read it, it's a short

Kathy McAfee:

book. It's a parable. It's fantastic for anyone who needs

Kathy McAfee:

to get out of their own way. And so the storyline are literally

Kathy McAfee:

about these little mice and these little people, and they're

Kathy McAfee:

in a maze, right? And they're stuck in what they think is

Kathy McAfee:

their comfort zone. They're hiding in a corner with a maze,

Kathy McAfee:

and they're afraid to go out. They're afraid to go on the

Kathy McAfee:

path, for fear of, I don't know, danger, right? Meaning, ah,

Kathy McAfee:

people are scary, and so in networking, we can just kind of

Kathy McAfee:

hide away. And think of the pandemic. When we all got locked

Kathy McAfee:

down, we literally kind of had an excuse to kind of be by

Kathy McAfee:

ourselves and hide and yet even that, the path became virtual

Kathy McAfee:

networking, and we had to intentionally reach out to

Kathy McAfee:

people, and actually became quite easy. Er, less timeless,

Kathy McAfee:

money and global, you know, global possibilities of reaching

Kathy McAfee:

out intentionally, to keep those networks alive, to reconnect, to

Kathy McAfee:

meet new people, to get curious about people. But just like

Kathy McAfee:

those little mice in the book, you got to leave your little

Kathy McAfee:

corner. You have to be courageous and take that step

Kathy McAfee:

onto that path and the next step and the next step and the next

Kathy McAfee:

step, and before you know it, you're really having a good time

Kathy McAfee:

in the maze and you're enjoying your networking practice.

Janice Porter:

Yeah, that's that's good advice. That's

Janice Porter:

great. I've forgotten about that book, actually, that was a long

Janice Porter:

time ago. Um. So I know I'm going to say, I want to talk

Janice Porter:

one, one more question around this networking piece and that

Janice Porter:

that would be really around some of the mistakes that business

Janice Porter:

owners make when networking, and it happens a lot. So What? What?

Janice Porter:

What do you see as the biggest mistakes? My

Kathy McAfee:

first and foremost mistake that I see over and over

Kathy McAfee:

is just too transactional, or just too much in a hurry to

Kathy McAfee:

yeah, get my card, buy my stuff, do this for me, there's no

Kathy McAfee:

relationship building. It's just purely it's the deal, right? And

Kathy McAfee:

I always you know, when we take the time to build the

Kathy McAfee:

relationship. There'll be so many deals in the future, you

Kathy McAfee:

know, you'll be giddy so you can't rush to a transaction,

Kathy McAfee:

because then you're just selling the relationship short. That's

Kathy McAfee:

the first mistake. I think the second one is that we ignore our

Kathy McAfee:

current network. Yeah, we chase shiny objects and new people.

Kathy McAfee:

And, I mean, that's a classic. Even in new business

Kathy McAfee:

development, we think that new prospects are the path to

Kathy McAfee:

success when it's really active clients, inactive clients and

Kathy McAfee:

existing prospects, which are people that know us and we know

Kathy McAfee:

them, but we haven't done business. That's that's the land

Kathy McAfee:

of opportunity, not chasing strangers, so ignoring your

Kathy McAfee:

current network that you have built over years. Big mistake,

Kathy McAfee:

big mistake that small business owners and professionals do. And

Kathy McAfee:

then the last one, I would say, is just inconsistency, a lousy,

Kathy McAfee:

lousy follow up. And I don't mean to be judgmental, because

Kathy McAfee:

I'm right there with you. It's well, we're distracted. Our

Kathy McAfee:

network grows. How do we keep up with it? But consistent follow

Kathy McAfee:

up and pre work, as you also mentioned, essential to making

Kathy McAfee:

you really an all star relationship builder, follow up

Kathy McAfee:

is the key, and you get to decide what your follow up plan

Kathy McAfee:

is. Create something that works for you, that you can replicate.

Kathy McAfee:

That's easy. Have 123, follow ups, and you don't have to

Kathy McAfee:

invent it every time. I

Janice Porter:

think that that that's so valuable, because

Janice Porter:

those three things are so important. They're so simple.

Janice Porter:

You know, don't be so transactional. Think about the

Janice Porter:

relationship, building it first, because that will bring you more

Janice Porter:

fruit in in the long term, and ignoring your current network, I

Janice Porter:

have found over the last year in particular, starting to

Janice Porter:

reconnect with people, as I mentioned in LinkedIn, has been

Janice Porter:

huge. I have gone back to people that you know, have said, Oh my

Janice Porter:

goodness, it's been so long. Hey, now's the time I'd like to

Janice Porter:

look at this. And so they come to me with the prospect of work,

Janice Porter:

and it's like, oh my goodness, where was I? Forget the timing

Janice Porter:

is everything, and it's their timing. So if you're not going

Janice Porter:

back and checking once in a while, then the timing will

Janice Porter:

never you'll never be in front of them at the right time. And I

Janice Porter:

always use a phrase that came from a company that's near and

Janice Porter:

dear to both our hearts, I think, and it's to stay

Janice Porter:

connected and be remembered. And so if you stay connected, and

Janice Porter:

you're in front of them, particularly with a tangible

Janice Porter:

touch every once in a while, as opposed to an email that gets

Janice Porter:

lost in the rush. Then, then you'll be remembered and and so

Janice Porter:

I think follow up and again, yeah, I'm just as guilty as the

Janice Porter:

next person in not being consistent, but we need to go

Janice Porter:

ahead. Well

Kathy McAfee:

building, I know exactly what you that origin of

Kathy McAfee:

the the inspiration you were just talking about, because I

Kathy McAfee:

happen to be receive a beautiful, send out card from

Kathy McAfee:

you. Very personal, lovely, and it's on my desk right now. But

Kathy McAfee:

one of their key philosophies is to act on your promptings. So if

Kathy McAfee:

you think of someone, don't file it away, put it on the to do

Kathy McAfee:

list, like, pick up the phone, reach out, uh, text them, let

Kathy McAfee:

them know you're thinking about them. It doesn't have to be a

Kathy McAfee:

big meeting, right? It's just I was thinking about you, and I'm

Kathy McAfee:

reaching out in whatever form it takes, exactly, exactly your

Kathy McAfee:

promptings. Otherwise that thought comes, it goes, and then

Kathy McAfee:

three years later, you're like, Gee, whatever happened to

Kathy McAfee:

Janice? You know, I thought about her a couple years ago.

Kathy McAfee:

Exactly. That is more of a serendipity in the moment,

Kathy McAfee:

mindfulness, networking strategy, and you can't do it

Kathy McAfee:

all day long. Otherwise you'd be distracted. You know, 24/7 but

Kathy McAfee:

they're meaningful. They are meaningful distractions because

Kathy McAfee:

they're relationships that you care about.

Janice Porter:

And I actually like to when I'm training on on

Janice Porter:

the the card sending piece, I always say, who needs to hear

Janice Porter:

from me today, you know, and it's either at the beginning of

Janice Porter:

your day or the end of. Day, because you've either had all of

Janice Porter:

these conversations during the day, maybe you need to respond

Janice Porter:

with one of those, or maybe just somebody comes into your mind.

Janice Porter:

Something made you think of that person. So having the tool and

Janice Porter:

the trigger to be able to just make it happen right then

Janice Porter:

quickly is what you need to do. Act on those bondings. Love it.

Janice Porter:

Love it. So your work right now has shifted. And I love this. I

Janice Porter:

love this. I mean, it's all around people and networking and

Janice Porter:

becoming to leverage those connections and teach people how

Janice Porter:

to do that through your program that you're doing now, the

Janice Porter:

fearless leader program. And I'd love you to share with my

Janice Porter:

audience what that's about, because not only are you doing

Janice Porter:

the leadership piece, but you're bringing in an important piece

Janice Porter:

right now, which is about forgot the word I was going to use,

Janice Porter:

but, but bringing in people of color and people who are and

Janice Porter:

women who are being underserved in a lot of ways, to

Kathy McAfee:

Yes. So when I first launched the fearless

Kathy McAfee:

leader program in 2020 it had to go all virtual, because that's

Kathy McAfee:

the way we were going to do business for the foreseeable

Kathy McAfee:

future. And so, you know, I started to develop this

Kathy McAfee:

leadership development program where we amass leadership skill,

Kathy McAfee:

we increase our courage, we bolster our confidence, and we

Kathy McAfee:

we get our businesses and careers back on track. And as I

Kathy McAfee:

kept doing cohort group of 10 and 12 people at a time, I

Kathy McAfee:

started to realize a who, who is coming to the table to do the

Kathy McAfee:

work and the value that they held inside of them. And so I

Kathy McAfee:

get really excited about working with professional women and

Kathy McAfee:

people of color. And again, the the collision, or between what

Kathy McAfee:

was going on in the pandemic and racial injustice, and, you know,

Kathy McAfee:

the near demise of democracy, all the things that were

Kathy McAfee:

happening in the world, it kind of just woke me up to say, I

Kathy McAfee:

have an opportunity to merge my work with my personal mission,

Kathy McAfee:

and it took a bit of courage, I'll tell you down is to

Kathy McAfee:

actually say, instead of I work with people, Hey, anybody, I'll

Kathy McAfee:

work with you. To I focus on working with women and people of

Kathy McAfee:

color to help them get a seat at the leadership table. And to do

Kathy McAfee:

that, we have to overcome some barriers, a lot of external

Kathy McAfee:

barriers. Yes, we can't do much about those right now ourselves,

Kathy McAfee:

but we can work our internal barriers, things like fear and

Kathy McAfee:

the imposter syndrome and skills that haven't been developed, and

Kathy McAfee:

networks that are not developed, and positioning that's that

Kathy McAfee:

hasn't been attended to. So, so there's so much as individuals,

Kathy McAfee:

we can do to get out of our own way and to overcome barriers,

Kathy McAfee:

and we gotta, we gotta work on that. So to me, the fearless

Kathy McAfee:

leader program is that self awareness piece, that self

Kathy McAfee:

reflection piece, that personal development a leadership

Kathy McAfee:

development piece that we all need, not just when we're

Kathy McAfee:

starting our careers and not just when we're at middle

Kathy McAfee:

management, it's throughout your life. It's like networking. And

Kathy McAfee:

by the way, Janice, we do study networking. We call it building

Kathy McAfee:

productive relationships. It's in week three of the eight week

Kathy McAfee:

program, and absolutely paramount to a leader, because a

Kathy McAfee:

leader cannot create success by him or herself. They need

Kathy McAfee:

people, and you have to have productive relationships, warm

Kathy McAfee:

and optimally functioning inside the workplace and in the

Kathy McAfee:

community and across the globe. Networking. That's what it is.

Kathy McAfee:

It's bringing people together, exchanging ideas, creating

Kathy McAfee:

opportunities, collaborating. That's what a fearless leader

Kathy McAfee:

needs to do, which means you've got to get out there and build

Kathy McAfee:

those relationships. So the

Janice Porter:

thing that comes to my mind, though, when you

Janice Porter:

speak of and yes, I think it does, you're niching down the

Janice Porter:

market, but it's also being brave to say who those people

Janice Porter:

are, because there's so much. There can be triggers around

Janice Porter:

that, in in people. And what was I going to say? Oh, that when

Janice Porter:

you're working with women of color, people of is it just

Janice Porter:

women?

Kathy McAfee:

I would say, right now the statistics are, I'm

Kathy McAfee:

getting about 95% women, absolutely. I have always loved

Kathy McAfee:

working with men, and they are absolutely anyone, anyone is

Kathy McAfee:

welcome to come join this program, so long as they'll do

Kathy McAfee:

the work and and honor the about the rules and boundaries of how

Kathy McAfee:

we respect each other. Alright. So cool.

Janice Porter:

Okay. So what I was thinking, though, is I

Janice Porter:

remember back to I was doing some work at local junior

Janice Porter:

college at the time here around networking, and I was asked to

Janice Porter:

come into this, this professor's class. That was a very. Diverse.

Janice Porter:

It was about diversity and inclusion. I think the class of

Janice Porter:

the day, I don't think it was called that back then, but and

Janice Porter:

we were doing networking, and like in person networking, and

Janice Porter:

we put them in groups, and we walked around the room and we

Janice Porter:

talked about things. And it was really interesting, because I

Janice Porter:

did not walk in those people's shoes, and I did not come as an

Janice Porter:

adult to another country that was completely strange and so

Janice Porter:

forth. And in this case, I know it's not quite the same, but

Janice Porter:

there is some of that in the sense that how do you like? My

Janice Porter:

eyes were opened when I watched a networking group and the women

Janice Porter:

were standing back because they were supposed to be behind any

Janice Porter:

men that were in the in the room based on their culture and what

Janice Porter:

they had learned and, and they were Middle Eastern and, and it

Janice Porter:

was just, this is not how it works here. So how do you

Janice Porter:

approach that? So do you get what I'm getting at here? I

Kathy McAfee:

do, I do, and I lovely. And that's one of the

Kathy McAfee:

benefits of intentionally building an inclusive and

Kathy McAfee:

diverse and, dare I say, global network. You get to learn about

Kathy McAfee:

the world. You become cross culturally aware and competent,

Kathy McAfee:

and you're going to see these cultural differences. And rather

Kathy McAfee:

than just looking at the lens of in America, we do it this way.

Kathy McAfee:

Yes, exactly. You suddenly understand kind of the backstory

Kathy McAfee:

and the social conditioning and values that other cultures have,

Kathy McAfee:

and you become actually, there's a potential that you could

Kathy McAfee:

become more diplomatic by having an inclusive, diverse global

Kathy McAfee:

network. So a couple years ago, I realized Janice that my

Kathy McAfee:

professional network looked exactly like me, all women, all

Kathy McAfee:

white women, all hard driving professional type a women. And

Kathy McAfee:

that was really fun and energizing, but it was, it was

Kathy McAfee:

too like, it's almost like a financial portfolio. I had too

Kathy McAfee:

much stock in one thing, and it could blow up. So I

Kathy McAfee:

intentionally set a strategy. There's that word again,

Kathy McAfee:

strategy to diversify my network, and I was keen to get

Kathy McAfee:

to know people that were not like me. And I was very keen to

Kathy McAfee:

get to know African American and Caribbean American people, women

Kathy McAfee:

and men. And interestingly, I also have always wanted to learn

Kathy McAfee:

more about the experience of indigenous people and Native

Kathy McAfee:

Americans, and I expressed that to you. I had a small learning

Kathy McAfee:

with a group called dig deep that was part of a big Mother's

Kathy McAfee:

Day movement fundraiser, and I loved the work they do bringing

Kathy McAfee:

fresh water and indoor plumbing to the 2 million families in

Kathy McAfee:

America who do not have indoor plumbing. Hello, this is

Kathy McAfee:

happening in our country, and majority of them were on on

Kathy McAfee:

nations and tribal land, and Native Americans without access

Kathy McAfee:

to clean running water, without indoor plumbing. So that was

Kathy McAfee:

kind of like an awakening. So I became curious, and so I

Kathy McAfee:

expressed that to you, and boom, you think of someone in your

Kathy McAfee:

network that you recently met, and you said you should meet

Kathy McAfee:

Valerie. This is how it works, folks. This is how the acting of

Kathy McAfee:

the promptings. You facilitated an introduction on LinkedIn, and

Kathy McAfee:

because you were bringing us together, there was now more

Kathy McAfee:

reason for us to act on that introduction. It was not as it

Kathy McAfee:

was a warm introduction from Janice. And so then Valerie and

Kathy McAfee:

I connected on LinkedIn. We exchanged a couple messages, we

Kathy McAfee:

set up a virtual coffee chat, and boom, we're on the telephone

Kathy McAfee:

with each other, getting to know each other, building that

Kathy McAfee:

relationship. And you know, within 30 minutes our call did

Kathy McAfee:

go on, because we were really enjoying our conversation. I

Kathy McAfee:

realized she was a fearless leader, and I started to

Kathy McAfee:

appreciate what she was doing with her work, and I offered her

Kathy McAfee:

a scholarship to the fearless leader program,

Janice Porter:

which is so amazing. And

Kathy McAfee:

then, of course, I had to tell you, because I

Kathy McAfee:

wanted you to know the power and value that you added to two

Kathy McAfee:

other people's lives, and then thereby the people in their

Kathy McAfee:

lives. So when you really let relationships rule in your life,

Kathy McAfee:

and you become a fearless networker, you're going to feel

Kathy McAfee:

this, this power that you have to bring people and opportunity

Kathy McAfee:

together and, and that's some of the thrill that you get. You get

Kathy McAfee:

payoff just from that feeling,

Janice Porter:

you know, because it was so cool and, and

Janice Porter:

actually, that brings up a point of when you are truly one who

Janice Porter:

connects people and wants to be that person. It's more than just

Janice Porter:

being a networker. It is being a connector. That when you start

Janice Porter:

talking to somebody new, you're thinking, how can I best who can

Janice Porter:

I introduce them to? How can I best serve them? What would be

Janice Porter:

that's what I was doing in that conversation with you. And it

Janice Porter:

just she came up because I was so impressed with the. Work that

Janice Porter:

she was doing when I met her, and actually, I'm glad that we

Janice Porter:

that it came back up, because the person that introduced me to

Janice Porter:

her, I'm going to be speaking to next week, and it's all it goes

Janice Porter:

around. Yeah? It's

Kathy McAfee:

a circle of life. Yeah, you know, just your your

Kathy McAfee:

ability to connect people and do what you do now, it looks so

Kathy McAfee:

effortless and natural, but you've been working on it for

Kathy McAfee:

years. It's your practice. It's also your superpower. You

Janice Porter:

know, I have to say right now my mom is watching

Janice Porter:

because I really learned it from my mom. My mom was the she had

Janice Porter:

no idea, but she was the, the best networker in the world. And

Janice Porter:

my mom was so cared about people so much that when she went on

Janice Porter:

vacation, she didn't send us postcards. She sent them to the

Janice Porter:

butcher and the fishmonger, and honestly, just people that she

Janice Porter:

made them smile when she went in their store. So she wasn't going

Janice Porter:

to be there for a while, she'd send them a postcard. Who

Kathy McAfee:

did that? Your mom. Your mom the fearless

Kathy McAfee:

networker. Yeah, and amazing. What a great role model. And

Kathy McAfee:

that's also as business owners and leaders, we have opportunity

Kathy McAfee:

be like your mom to role model what relationship building

Kathy McAfee:

should look like in the 21st century, and what it can look

Kathy McAfee:

like and how again, it's we don't have to be totally

Kathy McAfee:

selfless, because when we build relationships, we also benefit.

Kathy McAfee:

We can ask for what we need. Other people are more likely to

Kathy McAfee:

help us because the relationship has been formed. So we do

Kathy McAfee:

benefit. It's mutually beneficial, but we have, we do

Kathy McAfee:

have to give first, and to be of a giving, helping mindset, and

Kathy McAfee:

to make sure also that we know what it is we need, so that we

Kathy McAfee:

can express it clearly. Because I often say to clients, people

Kathy McAfee:

can't read their your mind. They don't know what it is you look

Kathy McAfee:

like. You have it all together. They don't know that you're

Kathy McAfee:

really trying to develop and you're looking for a partner

Kathy McAfee:

that will help you with this technology. Hey, I I know

Kathy McAfee:

someone. People. Know people. And so back to that

Kathy McAfee:

transactional thing. Yeah, when we transact, I look at you, you

Kathy McAfee:

look at me, and we try to see how many dollar signs we can

Kathy McAfee:

exchange. Yeah, what you want to do is you want to look at the

Kathy McAfee:

network behind the person, because that's where, dare I

Kathy McAfee:

say, the real money is. That's where the opportunity is. So if

Kathy McAfee:

I build a trusting relationship with you and I take care of you

Kathy McAfee:

and care about you, I'm more willing to lend my social

Kathy McAfee:

capital to you, right? And you're more willing to open up

Kathy McAfee:

your social capital, AKA your network, to me. So behind every

Kathy McAfee:

person, no matter what their circumstance, unemployed in

Kathy McAfee:

transition, file for bankruptcy, going through divorce, whatever

Kathy McAfee:

kind of the Oh, poor them, they have a network, and they're a

Kathy McAfee:

human being, and they're worthy of our time and curiosity and

Kathy McAfee:

and we can all help each other. So that's that's kind of the

Kathy McAfee:

magic and the the humanity in networking.

Janice Porter:

I think that the piece around that though, that I

Janice Porter:

still hold close to me is I, well, let me put it this way,

Janice Porter:

sometimes when you go to networking events, online,

Janice Porter:

offline, whatever, someone will immediately want to network you

Janice Porter:

with someone that they've just met but they don't really know

Janice Porter:

them, okay? And that's fine. They're trying to do you a favor

Janice Porter:

and so forth. You're looking for, you know, a house cleaner

Janice Porter:

or whatever. And they just met one, and they but if i i have a

Janice Porter:

really good, let's use that as an example, if I have a really

Janice Porter:

good house cleaner, and, you know, they're like gold. So you

Janice Porter:

don't really like to give them away to just anybody, right? But

Janice Porter:

you wouldn't connect them with somebody, just anybody you

Janice Porter:

right? You have, you protect your network to make sure that

Janice Porter:

the connection is a good one. So you don't just connect people.

Janice Porter:

You connect people when it makes sense, and you value both sides

Janice Porter:

that you have to ask first before you connect them.

Kathy McAfee:

Yes, yes, yeah, getting that permission. And

Kathy McAfee:

with certain people, that's really important. Others don't

Kathy McAfee:

mind. Yes, kind of receptive. But every time you lend your

Kathy McAfee:

social capital, you make introductions, you are putting

Kathy McAfee:

at risk your reputation Exactly. You're like a banker, right?

Kathy McAfee:

You're giving loans out. Don't do it willy nilly. You got to

Kathy McAfee:

qualify. I hate to use it like a banking term, but you know, you

Kathy McAfee:

qualify that person. You make sure that's a good fit, and then

Kathy McAfee:

then you put it together, yeah, but you do have to be careful,

Kathy McAfee:

yeah, right, yeah.

Janice Porter:

No, that's, that's, I just wanted to be

Janice Porter:

clear on that, because I feel that you know, when you're

Janice Porter:

connecting people, the person like that you said that you're

Janice Porter:

lending out, that's your social capital you have. Protect that

Janice Porter:

and respect it enough that it's going to not waste that person's

Janice Porter:

time, so to speak. I mean, they're not guaranteed, but, but

Janice Porter:

still, it has to be a good fit, and I always like to do that. So

Janice Porter:

Kathy, you've written a quite a few books, and I'm curious, is

Janice Porter:

there another one in your future?

Kathy McAfee:

There is another one? I'm so glad you asked,

Kathy McAfee:

motivating me. So I've written four I've two under my name, and

Kathy McAfee:

two that are co authored. So I've written networking ahead,

Kathy McAfee:

stop global boring, a presentation skills book, and

Kathy McAfee:

then in a collaborative projects, I've written

Kathy McAfee:

sharpening your point with my strategic partner and friend,

Kathy McAfee:

Lisa Wallace, and I wrote defining you with my business

Kathy McAfee:

coach, Mark LeBlanc and my publisher, Henry DeVries. And

Kathy McAfee:

it's that has been a very successful book. And I love,

Kathy McAfee:

actually, I've come to love the collaborative book, writing, co

Kathy McAfee:

authoring experience, because guess what? Get to work with

Kathy McAfee:

someone, build a relationship and learn something from someone

Kathy McAfee:

else. It's so cool. So we are working on a new project. The

Kathy McAfee:

title of the book, it's about fearless leadership. But the

Kathy McAfee:

title of the book is The fearless leader, how smart women

Kathy McAfee:

overcome barriers to leadership. Nice and my co author, I'm

Kathy McAfee:

really excited to work with her. Her name is Rosemary Pato, she's

Kathy McAfee:

actually business consultant, works with large companies and

Kathy McAfee:

executive teams, and she's actually just releasing her

Kathy McAfee:

first book, so this will be her right on the heels of that

Kathy McAfee:

second book. So we are I've been working on this for, actually,

Kathy McAfee:

for a year and a half. And you know how some things go right?

Kathy McAfee:

We got these big ideas, big projects, and then they just

Kathy McAfee:

kind of start to sit and get stale, and we become afraid and

Kathy McAfee:

we don't know what to do. And so even a fearless leader can fall

Kathy McAfee:

victim to fear of rejection and failure. So it's been really

Kathy McAfee:

help reaching out to my network to find a really good co author

Kathy McAfee:

to be my, my buddy, my accountability buddy. And then

Kathy McAfee:

by doing that, I mean that kind of experience, bringing

Kathy McAfee:

something, you know, creating something together, you're

Kathy McAfee:

always going to be bonded. So so that book's going to come out.

Kathy McAfee:

We we're going to really fast track the manuscript this

Kathy McAfee:

quarter, the fourth quarter should be out in early to mid

Kathy McAfee:

2023 and again, I'll be connected with my signature

Kathy McAfee:

work, the fearless leader program.

Janice Porter:

They have to come back when your new book, Oh, I'd

Janice Porter:

love

Kathy McAfee:

to, I'd love to. I'd love to. I just noticed

Janice Porter:

on your on your speaker sheet, that two things

Janice Porter:

that stuck out for me. One, that you are survivor, if I may say,

Janice Porter:

of ovarian cancer. Yay, yay. That's a huge one, and that's

Janice Porter:

not a very pretty thing to go through. I have one of my best

Janice Porter:

friends did is also an ovarian cancer survivor, and the

Janice Porter:

statistics aren't great, so I that's just amazing, and things

Janice Porter:

are still good in that. I don't know how long ago that was,

Kathy McAfee:

but 11 years, 11 years survived. That's what

Kathy McAfee:

There you go.

Janice Porter:

And the other thing that stuck out for me, I

Janice Porter:

know these are smaller things in the big in the big scheme of

Janice Porter:

being an economics graduate from Stanford University, okay, but

Janice Porter:

what I noticed was second degree black belt in Taekwondo. That's

Kathy McAfee:

right, little on me, five foot four and a good

Kathy McAfee:

day, yes, and that's a network too, I mean. And when I learned

Kathy McAfee:

about Taekwondo, I went because we moved to a new community, and

Kathy McAfee:

my husband was going to enroll, and he said, Look, you can come

Kathy McAfee:

with me, or you can stay at home. It's your choice. So I

Kathy McAfee:

kind of went, alright, I want to stay in a home. I'll go with

Kathy McAfee:

you. And I met so many wonderful, lifelong friends. But

Kathy McAfee:

the interesting connection between a martial art and

Kathy McAfee:

networking, okay, martial art always, always, I know it's a

Kathy McAfee:

way of life. That's why they call it Taekwondo, judo. The do

Kathy McAfee:

means way of life, and so you live your life, not that you're

Kathy McAfee:

you're not running around beating people up. It's self

Kathy McAfee:

defense, but it's, it's a, it's a philosophy of living about

Kathy McAfee:

respect and patience and and modesty. Had to work on that

Kathy McAfee:

myself. But networking is a way of life, right? It's something

Kathy McAfee:

we we not just go and say, Done tech, yeah, we live our lives in

Kathy McAfee:

this relationship, building philosophy so it and not, not to

Kathy McAfee:

mention taekwondo also helped me overcome my physical fear. And

Kathy McAfee:

so in terms of the fearless leader, it's, you know, I can be

Kathy McAfee:

a big scaredy cat, but now that I have 12 years of training, I

Kathy McAfee:

at least, kind of maybe know how how to respond. Should that

Kathy McAfee:

situation ever arise. So we all have to work on our different

Kathy McAfee:

forms of courage, for sure, for sure. Well,

Janice Porter:

this, this is like we could go on forever.

Janice Porter:

There's so much I can learn from you. As well as we move forward,

Janice Porter:

I think that Well, let me ask you this before I go to my last

Janice Porter:

question, do you find now with this work that you're doing,

Janice Porter:

that you are looking at or looking for independent, small

Janice Porter:

business owner people to be to bring into the fearless

Janice Porter:

Leadership Program, or is it? Is it corporate still? Is it bigger

Janice Porter:

companies?

Kathy McAfee:

It's a diverse range. I do have corporate

Kathy McAfee:

employees where their company pairs, pays their tuition, and

Kathy McAfee:

they're looking at that person to develop them and have them

Kathy McAfee:

grow into leadership. I also have independent consultants,

Kathy McAfee:

small business owners that need that that work on themselves so

Kathy McAfee:

that they can grow and build their business. And I have

Kathy McAfee:

nonprofits and people that are starting movements. And what's

Kathy McAfee:

what's so cool is when you have a, what's called a cohort

Kathy McAfee:

learning experience that you're learning along people who are

Kathy McAfee:

not from your same company, right? They don't walk in your

Kathy McAfee:

shoes. You have such an opportunity to grow and expand

Kathy McAfee:

and that group mentoring aspect. I'm not just the only one

Kathy McAfee:

teaching, right? Everyone is teaching because everyone has

Kathy McAfee:

experience right, different place, yeah, so I will say we

Kathy McAfee:

have had the age range for the fearless leader so far. My

Kathy McAfee:

youngest fearless leader is 17, and was and wrote, actually, a

Kathy McAfee:

business plan to launch her career as she went into college

Kathy McAfee:

and just she's someone to watch out for. And then to date.

Kathy McAfee:

Quote, my oldest, my most seasoned is 68 probably almost

Kathy McAfee:

near 70 now, and she lost her job during the pandemic and

Kathy McAfee:

started her own podcast.

Unknown:

Love it.

Kathy McAfee:

She's like, Yeah, she's a rock star, and she's

Kathy McAfee:

learning all those things. So she's not done yet, and and

Kathy McAfee:

everyone in between. So I can't tell you the exact level of

Kathy McAfee:

leadership experience. We all need to work on ourselves. We

Kathy McAfee:

all have a fearless leader inside. We're all called upon to

Kathy McAfee:

overcome some hardship, some roadblock. We all have a dream.

Kathy McAfee:

We all need help. So this program we work with, you know

Kathy McAfee:

who's willing to do the work. Who comes What's your dream?

Kathy McAfee:

What are you building? What's in your way? And let's work

Kathy McAfee:

together to overcome those barriers and roadblocks and get

Kathy McAfee:

you building momentum on your business and career.

Janice Porter:

That's amazing. And so one last question for

Janice Porter:

you, Kathy and I will also have all of your information about

Janice Porter:

your program, your website and your LinkedIn. I will put on the

Janice Porter:

show notes so people can find you if they're interested in the

Janice Porter:

signature program. There is a website, the fearless

Janice Porter:

leader.com, and just, what would you say? What? What's your final

Janice Porter:

piece of advice to my audience? And you know, what would you

Janice Porter:

like to leave us with?

Kathy McAfee:

Awesome well, I would say today is the perfect

Kathy McAfee:

day to renew your networking practice and commitment. So

Kathy McAfee:

start networking now, today and never stop. Never stop. Make

Kathy McAfee:

networking a way of life. Make networking and relationship

Kathy McAfee:

building a core strategy to build your business, to build

Kathy McAfee:

your career and to build your life, you just, you have to

Kathy McAfee:

overcome that fear if you still, still gets in the way. Do it

Kathy McAfee:

anyway, afraid. Just build relationships and listen to

Kathy McAfee:

Janice's podcast every time they come out, because you're going

Kathy McAfee:

to learn tips and and new ideas to really make this part of your

Kathy McAfee:

successful life.

Janice Porter:

You're the best. Thank you so much, and thank you

Janice Porter:

so much to my audience again for being here. We couldn't do it

Janice Porter:

without you. And remember to stay connected and be

Janice Porter:

remembered. You.

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About the Podcast

Relationships Rule
It’s always about Relationships!
Imagine that 68% of our clients leave because they feel we don’t care. Then visualize having authentic heart-based retention strategies, proven to minimize client losses, while organically generating a substantial number of loyal clients through referrals.

Catch a glimpse of how Janice opens a conversation by applying her fine-tuned curiosity. Notice how genuinely interested she is in building a relationship with her guests – heart-based business owners and entrepreneurs. In mere minutes, guests generously share their most sweet and powerful retention systems that you can adopt today!

As a seasoned relationship marketing specialist, Janice invites us to listen in weekly, as she reveals how to nurture and build relationships in real-time.

The Relationships Rule podcast’s aim, is to help you naturally ease your networking fears, so you can adopt strategies that amplify your client list, because the facts are, that today, success is built on a foundation of strong relationships. You can relax now, knowing you can activate your relationship marketing plan, by simply tuning in to Relationships Rule each week.

About your host

Profile picture for Janice Porter

Janice Porter

I began my career as a teacher, was a corporate trainer for many years, and have now found my niche in coaching business owners to network at a world-class level.
My passion is working with motivated people, who are coachable and who want to build their businesses through relationship marketing and networking (offline & online). I help my clients create retention strategies, grow through referrals, and create loyal customers by staying connected.