Standing Out and Finding Your Voice – with Trish Springsteen | RR274

Janice Porter: 00:00:00

Trish, Hello everyone, and welcome to this

Janice Porter: 00:00:03

week's episode of relationships rule. I'm very excited to have

Janice Porter: 00:00:07

this my guest today all the way from Australia. Her name is

Janice Porter: 00:00:12

Trish, Springsteen, and first of all, welcome to the show. Trish,

Trish Springsteen: 00:00:17

thank you. Janice, delighted to be here.

Trish Springsteen: 00:00:20

Well, it's

Janice Porter: 00:00:20

my pleasure, and we've had a couple of false

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starts on this before we finally actually made it to to record

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today. So I'm thrilled to have you here. Trish is a

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professional speaker and author of many articles and books on

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the importance of effective communication for business, and

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is a recognized expert in the field of speaking and

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communication training. I know from just reading all about her

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that she she is an expert in mentoring introverts, which I

Janice Porter: 00:00:50

find interesting, and she is an international best selling

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author. We have shared authorship in a compilation book

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of 262 amazing women, and we're both in it, so I that's how we

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met, which is really cool and helps empower others to have the

Janice Porter: 00:01:07

confidence and self belief to make speaking easy. She says,

Janice Porter: 00:01:11

Get known, be seen. And she is the get known, be seen

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specialist, and she has this wonderful purple hair, and

Janice Porter: 00:01:20

purple is her favorite color. And I think it's because she is

Janice Porter: 00:01:25

sending this message that she wants you to be the unicorn in

Janice Porter: 00:01:28

your business, as she seems to as she is in hers. So talk to me

Janice Porter: 00:01:33

about that first Trish, how did that come about? The purple

Janice Porter: 00:01:37

hair, the unicorn? I love it.

Trish Springsteen: 00:01:40

Oh, we got 40 years or more. I'll consolidate

Trish Springsteen: 00:01:46

it. Well, I've always liked purple.

Janice Porter: 00:01:49

You're my granddaughter. You'd be best of

Janice Porter: 00:01:51

friends. Yeah,

Trish Springsteen: 00:01:52

it's just I can go into a shop or go

Trish Springsteen: 00:01:55

somewhere, and I'll reach out, and the first thing I pick up is

Trish Springsteen: 00:01:58

something purple, okay? And I've always loved it. However, when I

Trish Springsteen: 00:02:02

first left high school, which I say way back in the Jurassic

Trish Springsteen: 00:02:06

period, yes, which is a long time ago, people, I was very shy

Trish Springsteen: 00:02:12

and an introvert, but very shy. So the concept of standing out

Trish Springsteen: 00:02:16

really would have been no not for me. I only had a small group

Trish Springsteen: 00:02:21

of friends, and they were, they've been lifelong friends.

Trish Springsteen: 00:02:24

I've known them since I left high school, since primary

Trish Springsteen: 00:02:27

school, actually, which

Janice Porter: 00:02:29

is special. That's really special five of

Trish Springsteen: 00:02:33

us who support each other, and we've

Trish Springsteen: 00:02:34

just been there. So I did okay in business. I did different

Trish Springsteen: 00:02:39

businesses, but mostly from behind the scenes. They're very

Trish Springsteen: 00:02:43

good, good businesses. But I never believed in myself, never

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thought I had a message, never thought I'd be speaking, never

Trish Springsteen: 00:02:52

thought I'd be doing what I'm doing with you now. And why my

Trish Springsteen: 00:02:55

love of purple was there. It was my private you know, I'd wear

Trish Springsteen: 00:03:00

purple. I didn't have purple hair, okay, the aha moment was

Trish Springsteen: 00:03:04

when I came to a point where I started to believe in myself. I

Trish Springsteen: 00:03:11

believed in who I was. I knew I had a message. I felt really

Trish Springsteen: 00:03:15

comfortable in being who I wanted to be. Now, along with my

Trish Springsteen: 00:03:19

love of purple, is my collection of unicorns. Ah, people say to

Trish Springsteen: 00:03:24

me, why do I collect unicorns? Why do I love unicorns? I mean,

Trish Springsteen: 00:03:28

I love all fantasy creatures, dragons, fairies, but unicorns

Trish Springsteen: 00:03:32

have a special place for me. Why? Because they are unique.

Trish Springsteen: 00:03:36

They stand out. They're special, they're magical. You don't see

Trish Springsteen: 00:03:41

them around very often, unless you really look out the corner

Trish Springsteen: 00:03:44

of your eye, you might catch a glimpse of one. So they're very

Trish Springsteen: 00:03:49

unique. And when I was starting my business, and I got my

Trish Springsteen: 00:03:52

business going, and I started to be a lot more comfortable, this

Trish Springsteen: 00:03:55

is why I say completely and honestly, I know how empowering

Trish Springsteen: 00:03:59

it is when you believe in yourself, because it gives you a

Trish Springsteen: 00:04:02

rock solid foundation. So about that time, I felt so comfortable

Trish Springsteen: 00:04:07

that I thought, You know what, I've always wanted to have my

Trish Springsteen: 00:04:10

hair purple. I always did. I love purple. I'm comfortable

Trish Springsteen: 00:04:15

with myself now. So all those people who have sort of said,

Trish Springsteen: 00:04:18

can I tell you? I thought I might like to do it. And I

Trish Springsteen: 00:04:21

thought, oh, no, you can't do that. Right? What would people

Trish Springsteen: 00:04:24

say, yeah? What would people say, Yeah, you can't do that.

Trish Springsteen: 00:04:28

And I thought, when I believed myself, I came to that

Trish Springsteen: 00:04:31

conclusion that if I wanted to do my hair purple, that was

Trish Springsteen: 00:04:36

absolutely up to me. And I was very comfortable with it didn't

Trish Springsteen: 00:04:40

worry me. I thought, This is me. If people don't like it, if

Trish Springsteen: 00:04:44

people can't handle it, that's their issue. It's not my issue.

Trish Springsteen: 00:04:48

So I went purple, and I have been for a while now. Along with

Trish Springsteen: 00:04:53

that, there's a side benefit of having purple hair. Janice, yes.

Trish Springsteen: 00:05:00

I'd benefit an especially the secret for introverts, and I'm

Trish Springsteen: 00:05:03

telling you, don't have to go and get your hair colored

Trish Springsteen: 00:05:05

purple, people, but this is a side benefit of finding your

Trish Springsteen: 00:05:08

uniqueness, being the unicorn and standing out. I just came

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back from a recent trip, and I can guarantee you, everywhere I

Trish Springsteen: 00:05:17

went, people would look at me and they'd smile and they say,

Trish Springsteen: 00:05:21

Gee, I love your hair. Oh, I love the coordination. You're

Trish Springsteen: 00:05:24

awesome. Do you know what that is? For an introvert, that's a

Trish Springsteen: 00:05:28

great opening for conversation, because I don't have to start

Trish Springsteen: 00:05:31

the conversation smile. I can say thank you, and if I wanted

Trish Springsteen: 00:05:36

the conversation can continue. Or if they're just passing in

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the street, which I can guarantee I can go out and at

Trish Springsteen: 00:05:42

least three people will say something to me and smile and

Trish Springsteen: 00:05:47

I'm smart. They say, smiling. So I'm giving joy to the world. I'm

Trish Springsteen: 00:05:50

giving gratitude. I am getting known and being seen in my own

Trish Springsteen: 00:05:55

subtle, perceptive way. People say, Wow, you do like purple. I

Trish Springsteen: 00:06:00

say, how perceptive of you about it breaks the conversation and

Trish Springsteen: 00:06:06

body laughs. So that's sort of how I got to that. And about,

Trish Springsteen: 00:06:11

oh, 12 months ago, I was, you know, I've been business since

Trish Springsteen: 00:06:15

2006 My business is more from a business partner where we did a

Trish Springsteen: 00:06:19

lot of corporate work morphed into mentoring and morphed into,

Trish Springsteen: 00:06:23

you know, amicable parting and where I am now. And I launched,

Trish Springsteen: 00:06:27

I was doing a business plan course to get brushing up my

Trish Springsteen: 00:06:31

skills and writing a business plan and that. And when part of

Trish Springsteen: 00:06:35

that was pitching to a group of people, and I thought, here's an

Trish Springsteen: 00:06:38

opportunity. I've got a group of organizations, companies,

Trish Springsteen: 00:06:42

different sorts of companies, but corporate type. Let me see I

Trish Springsteen: 00:06:46

can run my unicorn idea by them and see, because I've been told

Trish Springsteen: 00:06:50

along the way speaking bureaus that I was in, oh, we can't get

Trish Springsteen: 00:06:55

speaking jobs for you because you're too colorful. Your hair

Trish Springsteen: 00:06:59

is purple. You don't wear skirts and dresses when you speak, you

Trish Springsteen: 00:07:03

don't wear high heels when you speak, so no one's going to book

Trish Springsteen: 00:07:07

you, and noone wants to book you. And I said, Well, those

Trish Springsteen: 00:07:10

companies, if they if they're not booking me because of that

Trish Springsteen: 00:07:12

reason, then they're the ones I really need to speak to, because

Trish Springsteen: 00:07:15

they're not looking outside the square. And I was told to change

Trish Springsteen: 00:07:19

and I said, Excuse me. I talk about authenticity. I talk about

Trish Springsteen: 00:07:23

being genuine, about owning your uniqueness, and you want me to

Trish Springsteen: 00:07:26

change who I am. I said goodbye to those companies. So I along

Trish Springsteen: 00:07:31

that line, thought, Okay, I'm going to pitch this to some

Trish Springsteen: 00:07:34

companies, just to see if I'm really way out and not

Trish Springsteen: 00:07:38

connecting with anybody. So I launched my purple unicorn

Trish Springsteen: 00:07:42

Academy, purple unicorn Marketing Academy, um, taking

Trish Springsteen: 00:07:45

the marketing out, so I could be a little bit more general now,

Trish Springsteen: 00:07:48

but purple unicorn Academy, and I pitched it to them in a two

Trish Springsteen: 00:07:52

minute pitch, about like you would to a business and that.

Trish Springsteen: 00:07:55

And I loved it. And I said to them at the end, I said, Well,

Trish Springsteen: 00:07:58

how did the purple unicorn go? And they said, We love it

Trish Springsteen: 00:08:02

because it's unique. And I you know, I said, Do you think other

Trish Springsteen: 00:08:05

companies would like that? Yeah, companies that are looking to be

Trish Springsteen: 00:08:09

able to be seen, to be able to stand out from other people,

Trish Springsteen: 00:08:14

whether it's a small business, a one person business, or a large

Trish Springsteen: 00:08:17

organization, they're looking for something really unique.

Trish Springsteen: 00:08:20

They're looking for people who will encourage people to stand

Trish Springsteen: 00:08:24

out and to be unique, but still talk about the company. So

Trish Springsteen: 00:08:29

that's where I was. So there are so many things in there that I

Trish Springsteen: 00:08:33

can unpack for your your people who are listening to your

Trish Springsteen: 00:08:37

podcast, and that because it's owning who you are, it's having

Trish Springsteen: 00:08:41

that courage to stand up. It's being unique and owning

Trish Springsteen: 00:08:46

uniqueness and being the unicorn. Because, let's face it,

Trish Springsteen: 00:08:50

there's so many speaker coaches out there, which is what I

Trish Springsteen: 00:08:53

predominantly started with. There's so many coaches and

Trish Springsteen: 00:08:56

mentors and life coaches and accountants and lawyers, and you

Trish Springsteen: 00:09:01

name it. There's everybody trying to find their little

Trish Springsteen: 00:09:05

page, yeah. And unless you have that courage to say, Here I am,

Trish Springsteen: 00:09:09

you're only going to get a small piece of that pie. Well, and

Janice Porter: 00:09:14

it speaks to, you know, people saying you're

Janice Porter: 00:09:18

supposed to, well, there's different schools of thought,

Janice Porter: 00:09:21

but some saying you that you know what came to me when you

Janice Porter: 00:09:25

were talking there was a couple of things. One was there's

Janice Porter: 00:09:28

enough out there for all of us. And the second is that if you

Janice Porter: 00:09:34

are true to who you are and know who you want to serve, they will

Janice Porter: 00:09:40

come in the sense that, you know, when you're very clear on

Janice Porter: 00:09:45

on, you know, being who you are, being true to who you are, and

Janice Porter: 00:09:50

being that unicorn, and the people that that will come to

Janice Porter: 00:09:53

you are the right people,

Trish Springsteen: 00:09:56

absolutely, yeah, I

Janice Porter: 00:09:57

think I love that. I'm I think that. Now do

Janice Porter: 00:10:01

you I have to ask you, though, I have to go back to the story

Janice Porter: 00:10:04

from the beginning, where I want to know, was there one specific

Janice Porter: 00:10:08

aha moment or something that triggered you to say, Hey, I

Janice Porter: 00:10:12

like who I am. I am going to, you know, do what I want to do

Janice Porter: 00:10:16

and be who I want to be. Was there one particular experience

Janice Porter: 00:10:21

or,

Trish Springsteen: 00:10:22

um, I would share with probably share of you

Trish Springsteen: 00:10:25

two, because there's a there's a pivotal moment my life, which

Trish Springsteen: 00:10:28

changed a lot of my thinking. And then a few years after that,

Trish Springsteen: 00:10:33

there was another pivotal moment, which I guess cemented

Trish Springsteen: 00:10:36

my journey up to that point. Now the pivotal moment, and this is

Trish Springsteen: 00:10:41

a trigger warning for people who are listening watching. In 2007

Trish Springsteen: 00:10:50

we lost our son, Craig, to suicide. Now that's that's a

Trish Springsteen: 00:10:56

big, big life, big life changing moment, absolutely, and it could

Trish Springsteen: 00:11:01

have been an ending of my marriage, and coming up in

Trish Springsteen: 00:11:05

November, or at the moment, my husband, I've been married for

Trish Springsteen: 00:11:08

47 years. So we looked at each other after that, at that

Trish Springsteen: 00:11:13

moment, the next day, and we basically said to each other,

Trish Springsteen: 00:11:18

this could break or it could cement. And we agreed that we

Trish Springsteen: 00:11:23

didn't want to break it was, you know, we were breaking enough in

Trish Springsteen: 00:11:27

a whole lot of other areas. We wanted each other, so we agreed

Trish Springsteen: 00:11:31

that we would, we would talk about, we would communicate. But

Trish Springsteen: 00:11:35

we also agreed that we would live each day, when I say each

Trish Springsteen: 00:11:38

day for my son, not so much his life, but each day to celebrate

Trish Springsteen: 00:11:43

the world. And I wake up each day saying, how awesome is this

Trish Springsteen: 00:11:49

day? Because I know from personal experience, you can

Trish Springsteen: 00:11:54

wake up in the morning like we did on that day, and by the time

Trish Springsteen: 00:11:57

we went to bed that night, our whole family, our friends, the

Trish Springsteen: 00:12:02

ripple effect was enormous. Changed, and I can't undo that

Trish Springsteen: 00:12:06

moment, but I can remember him, and I can live my life to the

Trish Springsteen: 00:12:11

fullest. And he was one of the pivotal people who introduced me

Trish Springsteen: 00:12:15

to my hairdresser who I still have my hair purple, because he

Trish Springsteen: 00:12:19

was one of the people who said, Mom, if you want to go do your

Trish Springsteen: 00:12:22

hair purple, go see this guy that I go to, and he'll do it

Trish Springsteen: 00:12:25

for you. He's really good. So that was a pivotal part where I

Trish Springsteen: 00:12:30

thought, you know, I know that time is flitting, so why am I

Trish Springsteen: 00:12:34

hiding what I want to do? Why am I letting being afraid of other

Trish Springsteen: 00:12:39

people's words stop me from being what I want, because I

Trish Springsteen: 00:12:43

know time is fleeting. Now I know that it can change just

Trish Springsteen: 00:12:46

like that. We fast forward to about five years ago, six, six

Trish Springsteen: 00:12:52

years ago, and I was nominated for a Business Award, and the

Trish Springsteen: 00:12:57

nomination was for inspirational Women's Award, and I looked at

Trish Springsteen: 00:13:04

the nomination, and my very first thought was, I'm not

Trish Springsteen: 00:13:07

inspirational. What is she thinking about? This person who

Trish Springsteen: 00:13:11

nominated? What are they thinking about? I'm not

Trish Springsteen: 00:13:14

inspirational. For me, inspirational was people had

Trish Springsteen: 00:13:17

gone through domestic violence, gone through tragedy, climbed

Trish Springsteen: 00:13:22

mountains, lost their money, got it all back again, all of these

Trish Springsteen: 00:13:26

for people that were inspirational, all from my

Trish Springsteen: 00:13:28

perspective, was I help people and mentor people to be able to

Trish Springsteen: 00:13:32

have the confidence to speak, to stand up, to write their books.

Trish Springsteen: 00:13:37

That's what I do. That's not inspirational. So I marked that

Trish Springsteen: 00:13:42

nomination and I wasn't going to go any further with it until,

Trish Springsteen: 00:13:48

oh, and people, this is not what you do. It was about two hours

Trish Springsteen: 00:13:53

before the deadline, and I'm sitting there looking at this

Trish Springsteen: 00:13:56

nomination. I thought to myself, I had this aha moment. I went

Trish Springsteen: 00:13:59

bang across the face of my hand. I thought, You know what Trish,

Trish Springsteen: 00:14:03

you teach people, you mentor people, you help people to stand

Trish Springsteen: 00:14:08

up and be themselves. You tell them to reach out for

Trish Springsteen: 00:14:11

opportunities. What the blazes are you doing? Girl, you're

Trish Springsteen: 00:14:14

sitting here negating someone's thoughts. And I thought, How

Trish Springsteen: 00:14:19

dare I have the temerity to negate someone who took that

Trish Springsteen: 00:14:27

opportunity and obviously thought that I was worthy of

Trish Springsteen: 00:14:30

that nomination. How dare I ignore what Yes, absolutely. So

Trish Springsteen: 00:14:38

two hours to go, I put my nomination in. Please, people,

Trish Springsteen: 00:14:42

if you go for an award, do not leave it to two hours. You do

Trish Springsteen: 00:14:44

not want to do that, and it's not where I tell you to do what

Trish Springsteen: 00:14:47

I do, but do what I say. Do it a long time before then. So I did,

Trish Springsteen: 00:14:53

and then I just ignored it all because I thought I have

Trish Springsteen: 00:14:56

acknowledged, yeah, what that person has done for me. And I

Trish Springsteen: 00:15:00

thought that was important, because I was being extremely

Trish Springsteen: 00:15:03

arrogant to ignore that, so I acknowledge that and and out of

Trish Springsteen: 00:15:06

that, I learnt to accept of gratitude, to understand that

Trish Springsteen: 00:15:11

what I see is not always what other people see. So I wasn't

Trish Springsteen: 00:15:15

even going to go to the awards. Now, I thought I'd done it

Trish Springsteen: 00:15:18

because honest to people, I did not believe that I was

Trish Springsteen: 00:15:22

inspirational, even though I had put the nomination Interesting,

Trish Springsteen: 00:15:25

yeah, and then I had some friends who dragged me along.

Trish Springsteen: 00:15:30

You gotta go. You gotta go get a dress. Come along. So I thought

Trish Springsteen: 00:15:33

I would. Long story short, I won. I won that inspirational

Trish Springsteen: 00:15:37

woman's award, and my friend said the look on my face was

Trish Springsteen: 00:15:41

complete and utter shock. I honestly did not think I was

Trish Springsteen: 00:15:45

inspirational. I did not think that I would be getting it. So

Trish Springsteen: 00:15:50

what that taught me, which cemented that believing in

Trish Springsteen: 00:15:55

myself and the power that what everything I've been doing, the

Trish Springsteen: 00:16:01

testimonials that I've received, the credibility from another

Trish Springsteen: 00:16:05

award, which was about I'd won an award for mentor, a worldwide

Trish Springsteen: 00:16:09

award for mentor of the year. All of those came to my aha

Trish Springsteen: 00:16:16

moment in that you do not see others. You know we do not see

Trish Springsteen: 00:16:20

ourselves as others. See us absolutely yeah. And if people

Trish Springsteen: 00:16:24

say, Thank you, if people say, Wow, you changed my life, if

Trish Springsteen: 00:16:28

people say, you inspired me, or something that you said has

Trish Springsteen: 00:16:33

helped me to stand up and share what I believe in, the automatic

Trish Springsteen: 00:16:38

reaction that we as women have where we say, Oh, that was

Trish Springsteen: 00:16:40

nothing. Well, it is where I stop now and I say, Thank you. A

Trish Springsteen: 00:16:48

simple thank you. I have learned to accept gratitude and

Trish Springsteen: 00:16:52

understand that the impact I have I don't always see.

Janice Porter: 00:16:57

You know, that's huge, because I always remember

Janice Porter: 00:17:00

my mother, God, rest her soul. She was always if somebody, she

Janice Porter: 00:17:06

was always sending thank you notes or doing little good

Janice Porter: 00:17:08

things for lots of people. But if somebody gave her something,

Janice Porter: 00:17:13

whether it was a thank you note or took her out or did whatever

Janice Porter: 00:17:18

she she would always have to, like, do the thank you back like

Janice Porter: 00:17:23

she didn't know how to say thank you. Just say thank you and

Janice Porter: 00:17:26

accept it. She had to do it for them as well. And and I remember

Janice Porter: 00:17:31

later in her life saying my sister and I, you know, saying

Janice Porter: 00:17:34

Mom, just say thank you. Just say thank you. It's okay, you

Janice Porter: 00:17:38

know, you just let it sink in. You don't have to do, you know,

Janice Porter: 00:17:42

and, and it comes from, probably, upbringing. It comes

Janice Porter: 00:17:46

from, you know, not in her case, you know, getting getting

Janice Porter: 00:17:50

married at 19, and never finishing school, and all of

Janice Porter: 00:17:54

that stuff where she was, you know, in that, yeah, and then

Janice Porter: 00:17:57

talking in the head. But anyway, it's just really interesting. So

Janice Porter: 00:18:03

you talk about, I know one of the things you talk about is

Janice Porter: 00:18:06

mastering the art of conversation, and that interests

Janice Porter: 00:18:10

me, because, again, from your interest, introvert perspective,

Janice Porter: 00:18:17

because with the work that I do, and the work I'm referring to is

Janice Porter: 00:18:22

the work I do on teaching people how to leverage LinkedIn to

Janice Porter: 00:18:27

generate leads and to grow their businesses. Well, in order to be

Janice Porter: 00:18:30

able to do that, you have to be able to have a conversation with

Janice Porter: 00:18:34

people. And I'm often really taken aback by how many people

Janice Porter: 00:18:40

when I'm teaching this kind of method that I do around it,

Janice Porter: 00:18:43

they'll go, Well, what should I say in the message, like, like,

Janice Porter: 00:18:46

they have no idea. And to me, that's just comes naturally

Janice Porter: 00:18:51

because I'm curious and because I I'm maybe because I'm

Janice Porter: 00:18:54

outgoing, I don't know, but what's your take on that? And

Janice Porter: 00:18:57

what do you advise people to to master that art of conversation

Trish Springsteen: 00:19:03

as an introvert, making that first

Trish Springsteen: 00:19:06

step to have a conversation is a very hard thing for many of us

Janice Porter: 00:19:11

mentioned that. So yes, I hear that. Yes, it is

Trish Springsteen: 00:19:15

very hard. It's an introvert can be I mean,

Trish Springsteen: 00:19:19

they're labels, and I really don't like labels, but we deal

Trish Springsteen: 00:19:22

with what we have to do. An introvert doesn't isn't always

Trish Springsteen: 00:19:25

shy, right? Introvert means shy. They're two different things. I

Trish Springsteen: 00:19:30

was a shy introvert. I'm not so much shy now, but I'm still an

Trish Springsteen: 00:19:35

introvert, and an introvert, from my perspective, is just on

Trish Springsteen: 00:19:38

an energy basis, right? We prefer to be by ourselves to get

Trish Springsteen: 00:19:44

energy, large crowds, large lots of people. Having to step

Trish Springsteen: 00:19:49

outside of our little shell is takes a lot of energy. Yeah, and

Trish Springsteen: 00:19:53

it works. I don't want to get that energy so they're quite

Trish Springsteen: 00:19:56

comfortable staying where they are, which is fine. Uh, except

Trish Springsteen: 00:20:01

if you've got a business, if you've got a message, if you

Trish Springsteen: 00:20:03

want to get along in life, and basically any of those. So I'm

Trish Springsteen: 00:20:07

sorry you're introverts. You really can't stay there. You've

Trish Springsteen: 00:20:10

got to get that courage up to step outside that comfort zone.

Trish Springsteen: 00:20:14

And it just means knowing that I can step outside my comfort

Trish Springsteen: 00:20:18

zone, I can start a conversation, I can go to a

Trish Springsteen: 00:20:21

meeting, but if I get overwhelmed, I can easily step

Trish Springsteen: 00:20:24

back and take some minutes outside, get my energy back and

Trish Springsteen: 00:20:29

continue, which is why I talk about being an introvert

Trish Springsteen: 00:20:33

speaker, and how I've got to where I am now and why I can do

Trish Springsteen: 00:20:36

these things. Yes, people, I do have problems starting a

Trish Springsteen: 00:20:40

conversation even now, and I'm talking, you know, 14 years, 15

Trish Springsteen: 00:20:44

years, after a lot of things that I've done, I can sit

Trish Springsteen: 00:20:48

outside a new I had to go to a new network meeting not too long

Trish Springsteen: 00:20:51

ago. Never, didn't know person there, really, other than

Trish Springsteen: 00:20:54

someone I spoke to online. And I sat in the car for about five

Trish Springsteen: 00:20:58

minutes thinking, I think I feel well, I could go home. I could

Trish Springsteen: 00:21:04

think of all the excuses on the world not to walk through that

Trish Springsteen: 00:21:06

door, except for one, and that one is important, because I know

Trish Springsteen: 00:21:12

that I talk about giving your brand a voice. I know that it's

Trish Springsteen: 00:21:17

so easy to stand behind your labels, your in your logos, your

Trish Springsteen: 00:21:21

the website, all of that, and it's you that people want to

Trish Springsteen: 00:21:26

know. So I took a deep breath and I walked in now,

Trish Springsteen: 00:21:31

conversations. Well, my purple hair helps me a lot with that,

Trish Springsteen: 00:21:36

and I'm not telling you to go and get your hair purple, but

Trish Springsteen: 00:21:39

what I'm saying is that questions are great. I use

Trish Springsteen: 00:21:45

questions. I start with a question, and the easiest one

Trish Springsteen: 00:21:49

is, oh, what do you do? I mean that that's an easy one, except

Trish Springsteen: 00:21:53

a lot of people don't know how to answer that, and it can close

Trish Springsteen: 00:21:56

the conversation down because three words and you've got no

Trish Springsteen: 00:21:59

idea where to go with that then I know. I mean, I've started

Trish Springsteen: 00:22:03

with that question and thought, freaking Hell, where am I going

Trish Springsteen: 00:22:06

now? Because I didn't actually tell me anything, and there were

Trish Springsteen: 00:22:09

probably introverts who didn't know how to answer. So it's,

Trish Springsteen: 00:22:13

it's being like, let me just go back to LinkedIn, starting a

Trish Springsteen: 00:22:18

conversation on LinkedIn. One of the things I sort of say is, how

Trish Springsteen: 00:22:21

can I assist you? Thank you for reaching out. Thank you for

Trish Springsteen: 00:22:25

connecting. How can I assist you up to a conversation?

Janice Porter: 00:22:30

So let's stop there for a second. Because

Janice Porter: 00:22:33

whether so for me, if I'm teaching someone how to start

Janice Porter: 00:22:37

that conversation on LinkedIn, I think that's easier than

Janice Porter: 00:22:40

starting the conversation in person at the networking event

Janice Porter: 00:22:44

where you don't know anybody because you've got all of their

Janice Porter: 00:22:46

stuff in front of you. Yeah, right. So if you do your

Janice Porter: 00:22:50

homework and you look for a point of commonality, whether

Janice Porter: 00:22:55

it's the weather, where they live, whether it's a school they

Janice Porter: 00:22:58

went to, it doesn't matter. It's just something that can start

Janice Porter: 00:23:02

the rapport building. To me, that seems logical, but

Janice Porter: 00:23:06

probably, when you're an introvert, there's so many

Janice Porter: 00:23:10

anxiety things that come into play that you might not make

Janice Porter: 00:23:13

it's not so easy, I suppose. Well, part

Trish Springsteen: 00:23:16

of the introvert, it's not so much the

Trish Springsteen: 00:23:18

anxiety, that's the confidence level confidence is which kicks

Trish Springsteen: 00:23:24

off the anxiety to for certain extent, an introvert is quite

Trish Springsteen: 00:23:29

comfortable where they are, so getting the confidence to step

Trish Springsteen: 00:23:33

outside of where they are is what the next step is, and

Trish Springsteen: 00:23:37

that's about Understanding that you have to stand up in your

Trish Springsteen: 00:23:42

business. If you're on LinkedIn, we'll deal with LinkedIn. If

Trish Springsteen: 00:23:46

you're on LinkedIn, you're there because it's business to

Trish Springsteen: 00:23:49

business. Yep, you're there because you've got a business,

Trish Springsteen: 00:23:53

you've got a book, you've got a message, you've got something

Trish Springsteen: 00:23:56

that you want to connect with people, right? Otherwise, why

Trish Springsteen: 00:24:00

are you there? You

Janice Porter: 00:24:01

want business. That's, yeah, you want business.

Janice Porter: 00:24:04

That's really the bottom line, right? But you don't always know

Janice Porter: 00:24:07

how to go about it the right way. That's all

Trish Springsteen: 00:24:09

and and I can relate with them. I know that I

Trish Springsteen: 00:24:12

had to teach myself. I thought, you know, just put everything up

Trish Springsteen: 00:24:16

so it'll come to me.

Janice Porter: 00:24:19

Yeah, no. So going into that face to face

Janice Porter: 00:24:23

networking event, let's just talk about that again in the

Janice Porter: 00:24:25

sense that, okay, you don't know what you're going to say to

Janice Porter: 00:24:28

people and and if you have to start the conversation, and I

Janice Porter: 00:24:32

love that you said that you think of a question. But the

Janice Porter: 00:24:34

question that I like to ask, if that's what I'm going to start

Janice Porter: 00:24:39

with, if I'm going to start the conversation, there is, you

Janice Porter: 00:24:42

know, what brought you here? You know, because then that's a

Janice Porter: 00:24:46

little less challenging for them. And did you know anybody

Janice Porter: 00:24:51

here? You know, like I came, I don't know anybody, but I'm so

Janice Porter: 00:24:54

glad to meet you. But you know, so on, and then ease into you

Janice Porter: 00:24:57

know, so you know, what do you do when you're not. Kind of

Janice Porter: 00:25:00

thing. But I always find it really interesting though, that

Janice Porter: 00:25:04

the the nervous people are the people that don't stop talking

Janice Porter: 00:25:09

when you answer the when you ask them the question, right?

Janice Porter: 00:25:12

Because really, that's not the place for the whole nine yards.

Janice Porter: 00:25:16

It's only for the, you know, the little bit. So it's

Trish Springsteen: 00:25:19

so relieved that someone asks them something

Trish Springsteen: 00:25:21

that they'll just dump your whole their whole life story.

Trish Springsteen: 00:25:24

And I love that. I just think that's great because, actually,

Trish Springsteen: 00:25:26

they're extroverts, because extroverts will share

Trish Springsteen: 00:25:30

everything. They're extroverts who are very nervous extroverts,

Trish Springsteen: 00:25:33

because just because you're an extrovert doesn't mean to say

Trish Springsteen: 00:25:36

you're full of confidence. No, that's true. You're an introvert

Trish Springsteen: 00:25:39

doesn't mean to say you don't have any competence, right? No,

Trish Springsteen: 00:25:42

for sure, it's just your preference as to where you want

Trish Springsteen: 00:25:46

to be and how you want to act.

Janice Porter: 00:25:48

It's your energy, what? Right? Okay, it's just

Janice Porter: 00:25:50

your energy. And

Trish Springsteen: 00:25:51

when you an introvert, your energy comes

Trish Springsteen: 00:25:54

from not being around people. You comes from being quiet and

Trish Springsteen: 00:25:57

silent and doing all the things that you like to do so you work

Trish Springsteen: 00:26:01

on on, knowing that you know where your levels are, and you

Trish Springsteen: 00:26:05

know that if you do start to get overwhelmed, you can just step

Trish Springsteen: 00:26:09

back a bit, right, and just take that deep breath. Um, extroverts

Trish Springsteen: 00:26:14

just overwhelm people because they're so excited to be where

Trish Springsteen: 00:26:17

they are, and their energy comes from all the people around them

Trish Springsteen: 00:26:21

that they can be so overwhelming that their problem is they don't

Trish Springsteen: 00:26:24

listen, they don't actually make a connection, because they're so

Trish Springsteen: 00:26:28

busy giving everybody. Let's

Janice Porter: 00:26:29

not generalize. Let's not generalize.

Trish Springsteen: 00:26:33

I'm not saying what you're saying. Yes,

Trish Springsteen: 00:26:36

that's that's a trap that a lot of extroverts end up in because

Trish Springsteen: 00:26:41

they need to harness that and focus and learn to listen to

Trish Springsteen: 00:26:44

people as well. It's a two way. Conversation is a two way,

Janice Porter: 00:26:47

exactly. So you talk about being a mentor and

Janice Porter: 00:26:51

being a coach as well as being a speaker and an author. Okay, you

Janice Porter: 00:26:55

do all of these things, amazing. Um, do you is the mentoring like

Janice Porter: 00:27:04

a labor of love, or is or like, how do you see that in terms of

Janice Porter: 00:27:07

coaching versus mentoring, versus, say, training? Because

Janice Porter: 00:27:11

people use them in different ways, and I know how I think of

Janice Porter: 00:27:15

it.

Trish Springsteen: 00:27:15

So it's a conversation that you can sit

Trish Springsteen: 00:27:18

and talk with someone for hours about what the definition of a

Trish Springsteen: 00:27:21

coach is, what the definition of a mentor is, what the definition

Trish Springsteen: 00:27:24

of a trainer is, and really it's none of this. You've got those

Trish Springsteen: 00:27:29

dictionary definitions which really don't apply, because

Trish Springsteen: 00:27:34

we're all individuals. We're all unique, and we bring our own

Trish Springsteen: 00:27:37

different life experiences to each of those little segments.

Trish Springsteen: 00:27:41

So while there's an overall concept that a coach is about

Trish Springsteen: 00:27:45

teaching people and and giving them all the things to be able

Trish Springsteen: 00:27:49

to change, and a mentor is about supporting and helping them to

Trish Springsteen: 00:27:54

take that and include it and go on, which is sort of my sort of

Trish Springsteen: 00:27:59

definition. And a trainer is someone who sits there and wants

Trish Springsteen: 00:28:03

to change palm Hall's attitude, but in a workshop, more

Trish Springsteen: 00:28:09

environment, which is Okay, interesting. My my sort of

Trish Springsteen: 00:28:13

definitions, I always, from my perspective, think I'm a blend

Trish Springsteen: 00:28:18

of a mentor and a coach, okay, because I might start coaching

Trish Springsteen: 00:28:22

someone my public speaking skills, yeah, just giving them

Trish Springsteen: 00:28:26

change, giving them information, giving them techniques and

Trish Springsteen: 00:28:30

strategies to be able to and then what often more does is

Trish Springsteen: 00:28:33

that more into mentoring. And mentoring is my passion. It's,

Trish Springsteen: 00:28:39

it's, I guess you could say it's my love, because, from my

Trish Springsteen: 00:28:43

perspective, a mentor, a mentor pushes you outside your comfort

Trish Springsteen: 00:28:48

zone. A mentor challenges you, asks the difficult questions,

Trish Springsteen: 00:28:56

holds a mirror up for you to see yourself, and then is there to

Trish Springsteen: 00:29:01

catch you if you fall, and provide a support to say that's

Trish Springsteen: 00:29:05

okay, try something different and push you up to fly again.

Trish Springsteen: 00:29:12

That's my personal concept of a mentor. So when I'm coaching,

Trish Springsteen: 00:29:17

I'm giving strategies, I'm giving techniques on a

Trish Springsteen: 00:29:21

particular skill way. And then when I'm mentoring, I'm looking

Trish Springsteen: 00:29:26

at the whole person and how their business goes, how they

Trish Springsteen: 00:29:32

react, their mindset, their thoughts, their their courage,

Trish Springsteen: 00:29:38

their belief in themselves, how they see whether they're unique,

Trish Springsteen: 00:29:43

and I'm providing that support. I don't always give answers when

Trish Springsteen: 00:29:46

I'm mentoring, right? I ask questions. Okay? I push the

Trish Springsteen: 00:29:49

questions for them to look deep to find where they're going, and

Trish Springsteen: 00:29:53

I listen when I'm training in a workshop, I'm in front of people

Trish Springsteen: 00:29:58

online or offline. And I'm again giving skills training, but I've

Trish Springsteen: 00:30:04

only got a short time with them, so I'm training to change their

Trish Springsteen: 00:30:09

something, from their what they're doing now, to there, and

Trish Springsteen: 00:30:13

making sure that within that short time I have they've got

Trish Springsteen: 00:30:16

something that's changed their thought processes or change

Trish Springsteen: 00:30:19

their skills. It's a short time. And I guess, from my

Trish Springsteen: 00:30:23

perspective, that's my precious definitions of coach, mentor and

Trish Springsteen: 00:30:28

training. Okay,

Janice Porter: 00:30:29

okay, that's awesome. So what are you working

Janice Porter: 00:30:32

on right now? I think you've got a program coming up that sounds

Janice Porter: 00:30:36

interesting. You told me a little bit before we went on

Janice Porter: 00:30:38

air.

Trish Springsteen: 00:30:39

Yes, what I'm working on now, because my two

Trish Springsteen: 00:30:42

favor my favorite sayings. I'll just share those, because it

Trish Springsteen: 00:30:45

came out of this. It's my favorite sayings. I believe in

Trish Springsteen: 00:30:48

you until you believe in yourself. Because I think people

Trish Springsteen: 00:30:51

and that comes, I guess, from mentoring and that they need

Trish Springsteen: 00:30:55

someone there to believe in them until they can take that belief

Trish Springsteen: 00:30:59

and have it internal. I also believe my other saying is, get

Trish Springsteen: 00:31:05

known, be seen, which comes with being the unicorn in your

Trish Springsteen: 00:31:08

business. You you. It's no good having your book. It's no good

Trish Springsteen: 00:31:12

having a service, a message, a business that's the best damn

Trish Springsteen: 00:31:15

thing, or a product. If people can't find you, right? If people

Trish Springsteen: 00:31:19

don't know that's who you are. So I'm help people to get known

Trish Springsteen: 00:31:24

and be seen. And along with that, is repurpose and leverage,

Trish Springsteen: 00:31:28

and my 60 seconds of insane courage, all of those together,

Trish Springsteen: 00:31:32

is about getting outside yourself and being known and

Trish Springsteen: 00:31:36

being seen. Now when I talk about getting and be seen, it

Trish Springsteen: 00:31:39

could be writing a book. It could be writing a chapter in a

Trish Springsteen: 00:31:42

book. It could be blogging. It could be doing videos. There's a

Trish Springsteen: 00:31:46

whole range of things that you can do to be an RBC, but from my

Trish Springsteen: 00:31:52

perspective and my journey, I believe wholeheartedly that

Trish Springsteen: 00:31:56

underpinning every one of those things are good speaking and

Trish Springsteen: 00:32:00

communication skills, if you can speak, and if you can do

Trish Springsteen: 00:32:04

communication and communicate well, you've got a solid

Trish Springsteen: 00:32:07

foundation to build all the rest on. And speaking is one

Trish Springsteen: 00:32:11

absolutely fantastic way of being known being seen, because

Trish Springsteen: 00:32:15

it's one that you should be addressing and enhancing your

Trish Springsteen: 00:32:18

skills in from the time that you decide that you want to Well, my

Trish Springsteen: 00:32:21

view is, from the time that you leave high school, even before

Trish Springsteen: 00:32:24

high school, before that in school, you should be learning

Trish Springsteen: 00:32:27

speaking skills. Because no matter what you do, whether you

Trish Springsteen: 00:32:29

go to a business, whether you are going to work in an

Trish Springsteen: 00:32:33

organization, you need to be spoke, be able to speak, to

Trish Springsteen: 00:32:37

share who you are, to sell yourself, interview. That's what

Trish Springsteen: 00:32:41

you're doing. Right in a business, you need to showcase

Trish Springsteen: 00:32:44

so part of that in a business is what we call putting together a

Trish Springsteen: 00:32:48

keynote speech. Now it's probably a word that's got

Trish Springsteen: 00:32:53

different meanings different people. If you're going to be

Trish Springsteen: 00:32:56

speaking in a big conference, a keynote is usually the one that

Trish Springsteen: 00:33:00

opens or closes, right? I think it's a big motivational type

Trish Springsteen: 00:33:04

speech in in the perspective of your business. My sort of thing

Trish Springsteen: 00:33:08

saying a keynote is your your fallback speech that you can

Trish Springsteen: 00:33:12

pull out and say, This is what I do, or this is how I inspire

Trish Springsteen: 00:33:16

people, or sharing something that is about you and about your

Trish Springsteen: 00:33:21

business that you can pull out and share whether you're going

Trish Springsteen: 00:33:24

to be speaking anywhere. You can say, that's my, well, I guess my

Trish Springsteen: 00:33:29

keynote, that's my, my my showcase speech, that's that's

Trish Springsteen: 00:33:32

what I fall back on if I need to do anything. So what I wanted to

Trish Springsteen: 00:33:36

do was to bring all of those together. So I've got a I

Trish Springsteen: 00:33:40

launched a speaker package this year. It's called a speaker

Trish Springsteen: 00:33:43

package, and what it does I spend three sessions with you

Trish Springsteen: 00:33:48

online, helping you to craft that signature speech, that

Trish Springsteen: 00:33:53

keynote speech, your signature speech, helping you to craft

Trish Springsteen: 00:33:56

that then what part of the package is that, then we turn

Trish Springsteen: 00:33:59

that signature speech into a chapter into my next volume of

Trish Springsteen: 00:34:04

get none be seen compilation. Nice. So now you've hit two

Trish Springsteen: 00:34:07

parts. You've now got a signature speech that you can

Trish Springsteen: 00:34:10

comfortably get up and share whatever time you want. You can

Trish Springsteen: 00:34:13

expand or contract that, right? You now become an author, which

Trish Springsteen: 00:34:17

means you're now being seen in a different medium. Yeah, I also

Trish Springsteen: 00:34:20

then offer you a interview in my magazine. See now you're being

Trish Springsteen: 00:34:25

seen again in a different medium, and an interview on my

Trish Springsteen: 00:34:28

get none be seen web TV. You've now got about four different

Trish Springsteen: 00:34:32

ways of being known, being seen. Then that's that basic package.

Trish Springsteen: 00:34:38

If you want to pay an upgrade, a little bit extra in the end of

Trish Springsteen: 00:34:42

this year for those who are in around my area, or for because

Trish Springsteen: 00:34:47

it's global, it's online or offline, there's two options for

Trish Springsteen: 00:34:50

those online, who are watching, who'd like to join. I will hold

Trish Springsteen: 00:34:53

a summit at the end of the year where you get to present your

Trish Springsteen: 00:34:56

signature keynote speech. It will be video. It. You now

Trish Springsteen: 00:35:01

presenting it, and we'll put it out there to you know, you can

Trish Springsteen: 00:35:04

invite the people along to that summit. You've got other people

Trish Springsteen: 00:35:06

who on that summit. You've now got another way that you've been

Trish Springsteen: 00:35:10

seen. And the video of that speech, you get to use whatever

Trish Springsteen: 00:35:14

for those who are local, we are holding it in on in a room, on

Trish Springsteen: 00:35:18

stage, and I've got a videographer doing that. So

Trish Springsteen: 00:35:21

that's my speaker package, which I put together because it, I

Trish Springsteen: 00:35:25

guess, brings together my all my favorite 60 seconds of insane

Trish Springsteen: 00:35:29

courage to step outside what you're doing. I'm believing in

Trish Springsteen: 00:35:33

you so that you can do it and get no BC, so that you get out

Trish Springsteen: 00:35:38

there and repurposing and leveraging, showing you how you

Trish Springsteen: 00:35:41

can repurpose and leverage one piece of thing into another,

Trish Springsteen: 00:35:45

your signature speech into a chapter in a book, and you're

Trish Springsteen: 00:35:48

now getting out there being seen.

Janice Porter: 00:35:50

Love it. And I can tell you love what you do,

Janice Porter: 00:35:53

so I'm sure that it will get filled and be a big success. So

Janice Porter: 00:36:00

I love it. That's great. Okay, before we wrap up, I want to ask

Janice Porter: 00:36:04

you one last question that I like to sometimes ask my guests,

Janice Porter: 00:36:09

and this is about my favorite word, curiosity. So I would like

Janice Porter: 00:36:14

to know your thoughts on whether you think curiosity is innate or

Janice Porter: 00:36:19

learned, and what you are most curious about these days. Love

Janice Porter: 00:36:25

that

Trish Springsteen: 00:36:27

you can take it both ways. I'm I'm one of

Trish Springsteen: 00:36:30

those Devil's advocates, but I think for most people, Curiosity

Trish Springsteen: 00:36:39

is innate, okay, however, I also think it's learned, because you

Trish Springsteen: 00:36:45

may have that impulse to be curious about something, but

Trish Springsteen: 00:36:49

unless you have the courage the self belief, it may not go

Trish Springsteen: 00:36:55

anywhere. So I think while we have the seeds of curiosity

Trish Springsteen: 00:37:00

inside us. Sometimes we have to have the external influence to

Trish Springsteen: 00:37:07

help us learn. It's okay to be curious. It's okay to take step

Trish Springsteen: 00:37:13

outside and take that curiosity and find out where it will take

Trish Springsteen: 00:37:17

you. And unfortunately, from my perspective, too many people let

Trish Springsteen: 00:37:21

that curiosity see die inside them, because they haven't got

Trish Springsteen: 00:37:25

that courage to go and see okay, I'd like to know more about

Trish Springsteen: 00:37:28

that. Let's go and find out. So I think it's a combination of

Trish Springsteen: 00:37:33

both, Okay,

Janice Porter: 00:37:35

fair enough. And what are you most curious about

Janice Porter: 00:37:37

these days?

Trish Springsteen: 00:37:39

What am I most curious about I'm I'm

Trish Springsteen: 00:37:45

curious about living. I'm curious about the opportunities

Trish Springsteen: 00:37:51

that come that I can reach out and be be more part of life. I'm

Trish Springsteen: 00:37:59

curious to see whether I can actually finish this book I've

Trish Springsteen: 00:38:01

been writing for the last four years. Okay, and I've managed to

Trish Springsteen: 00:38:06

go over roadblock of that. I'm curious about the people that

Trish Springsteen: 00:38:10

I'm going to meet, and where will that take me. I'm curious

Trish Springsteen: 00:38:15

about, Shall I book this trip to China next year or not? Who have

Trish Springsteen: 00:38:21

my bucket list on that Eclipse, the Terracotta Warriors and the

Trish Springsteen: 00:38:25

Great Portland casting, fantastic. So I'm just curious

Trish Springsteen: 00:38:29

to see where my life will take me. I have so much more living

Trish Springsteen: 00:38:32

to do.

Trish Springsteen: 00:38:34

It's,

Trish Springsteen: 00:38:36

it's just curiosity about what's what's out there, what's the

Trish Springsteen: 00:38:40

world love? What's

Janice Porter: 00:38:41

next for you? Well, that's great. Thank you.

Janice Porter: 00:38:44

Thank you so much for that. And one last, one last little thing,

Janice Porter: 00:38:49

your favorite or best piece of advice for my audience,

Trish Springsteen: 00:38:55

I guess my best piece of advice is my 60

Trish Springsteen: 00:38:58

seconds of insane coverage. It's 20 seconds to acknowledge that

Trish Springsteen: 00:39:03

there's a negative voice saying, I can't do this. Don't be

Trish Springsteen: 00:39:07

curious. I can't step up 20 seconds to say, Stop. I can do

Trish Springsteen: 00:39:16

this. Bring the positives back in. I can be curious, and I can

Trish Springsteen: 00:39:22

accept and I can explore. I can speak, I can go out, and then 20

Trish Springsteen: 00:39:27

seconds to smile and just smile and say yes to any opportunity

Trish Springsteen: 00:39:33

that comes, and live your life to the fullest. Fantastic.

Janice Porter: 00:39:37

I love it. And of course, it made me smile. I love

Janice Porter: 00:39:40

that. Thank you. Thank you for that and for for your wisdom. I

Janice Porter: 00:39:47

will put in the show notes how people can get hold of you. I'm

Janice Porter: 00:39:50

assuming it's your website. Yes. Trish springsteen.com, yep.

Janice Porter: 00:39:55

Okay, and anything else you might want me to put on there

Janice Porter: 00:39:59

and to my. Audience, as usual, thank you for being here. I

Janice Porter: 00:40:02

appreciate you, and remember to stay connected and be

Janice Porter: 00:40:05

remembered. Bye, bye.