Episode 276

full
Published on:

17th Sep 2024

Reinventing Yourself: Candy Motzek’s Approach to Coaching and Personal Development | RR276

Ready to discover the secrets to balancing work and life while reigniting your passion and creativity?

Join me for a conversation with Candy Motzek — an author, podcast host, and coach for life coaches. Today, she’s sharing how to stay focused, creative, and present so you can feel recharged and ready for whatever life throws at you.

Candy's story is one many of us can relate to: she went from feeling completely burnt out in a high-pressure corporate job to finding real fulfillment as a coach. One of her key tools? Journaling. She’s all about putting pen to paper every day to clear her mind, plan out her next big move, and practise gratitude. It’s a habit that takes commitment, but the rewards are totally worth it.

We also dive into the art of staying curious and managing emotions. Candy discusses why self-care is vital, especially for women, and shares how to integrate well-being, physical health, creativity, and even a bit of fun into daily routines. Her approach to coaching blends practical strategies with mindset shifts, helping people gain confidence and clarity to navigate life's transitions.

Key Takeaways:

  • The contrast between teaching and coaching roles.
  • Understanding the three scenarios of emotional responses and the importance of not expressing every internal feeling.
  • The need for proper training and the current lack of regulation.
  • The issues of poor leadership and job dissatisfaction in corporate roles.
  • The importance of well-being and prioritizing oneself.
  • The belief that curiosity is innate, can be unlearned, and relearned, crucial for deep connections and learning.


Connect with Candy:

Email: info@candymotzek.com

Website: http://stepintosuccessnow.com

Claim Your Free Gift: candysfreegift.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/candymotzek/

Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.ca/stepintosuccessnow

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/candy-motzek/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CoachCandyM


In appreciation for being here, I have some gifts for you:

A LinkedIn Checklist for setting up your fully optimized Profile:

An opportunity to test drive the Follow Up system I recommend by taking the

3 Card Sampler – you won’t regret it.


AND … Don’t forget to connect with me on LinkedIn and be eligible for my

complimentary LinkedIn profile audit – I do one each month for a lucky

listener!


Connect with me:

http://JanicePorter.com

https://www.linkedin.com/in/janiceporter/

https://www.facebook.com/janiceporter1

https://www.instagram.com/socjanice/


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Transcript
Janice Porter:

Hello everyone, and welcome to this week's

Janice Porter:

episode of relationships rule. I have a special guest this week,

Janice Porter:

as always, and her name is Candy motsek, and I'm happy to

Janice Porter:

introduce her and welcome her to the show. Candy is an author, a

Janice Porter:

podcast host and a business coach for life coaches, Candy

Janice Porter:

helps smart people start successful coaching businesses.

Janice Porter:

I love that she believes that coaching transforms lives and

Janice Porter:

that being a coach is a calling. She helps her clients get

Janice Porter:

unstuck and feel more confidence and clarity so they can play

Janice Porter:

bigger, sign clients and create more meaningful success. She is

Janice Porter:

a recovering corporate executive, an engineer who

Janice Porter:

combines practical, strategy and mindset in her calming, unique

Janice Porter:

approach to coaching. She also has a podcast, which is called,

Janice Porter:

she coaches coaches, and I love that too. So welcome to the

Janice Porter:

show, candy. Oh,

Candy Motzek:

thanks Janice, and I really appreciate having me

Candy Motzek:

on. It's great. Looking forward to our conversation, perfect.

Janice Porter:

And I know that candy works from her she shed,

Janice Porter:

which is a beautiful spot in the back of her garden. Right? How

Janice Porter:

long have you had that?

Candy Motzek:

You know, it's been about seven years now, and

Candy Motzek:

I just love it. And I got to say even all these things. And I'm

Candy Motzek:

thinking, I got to do something about that. All this, you know,

Candy Motzek:

like, it makes it really hard to pronounce all these things. So

Candy Motzek:

apologies about that. Oh

Janice Porter:

no, I love it. It's so cool. And to have your

Janice Porter:

own spaces, I love that. That's that's amazing to do your work.

Janice Porter:

So what intrigued me about your bio was the fact that you've

Janice Porter:

been the corporate route, which a lot of us in our age brackets

Janice Porter:

have. So you've been the corporate route, and that you

Janice Porter:

were an engineer, so very linear, very left brain thinking

Janice Porter:

kind of person. So you did you experience burnout? What was it

Janice Porter:

that made you turn from the corporate world and decide I

Janice Porter:

want to be a coach. I am curious about that, so I'd love

Candy Motzek:

yeah and so yes, former engineer and corporate

Candy Motzek:

exec and burnout was like, I had a really big burnout one time.

Candy Motzek:

But prior to that, I probably had three or four or five mini

Candy Motzek:

burnouts. So like, burnout is kind of like a way of life, and

Candy Motzek:

I'm recovering from that as well. It wasn't specifically the

Candy Motzek:

burnout that made me change, but I always knew that I was better

Candy Motzek:

suited to the people conversation, the coaching, that

Candy Motzek:

kind of thing. And I used to actually do it in every role

Candy Motzek:

that I had. I kind of did it, but I didn't have the training.

Candy Motzek:

Then when things really, you know, got nasty with burnout and

Candy Motzek:

that whole recovery process, I started to really look and go,

Candy Motzek:

Okay, what's really going on here is, you know, like, what do

Candy Motzek:

I really want? And as a woman, middle aged, I found that that

Candy Motzek:

was kind of a hard question. Like, you know, you're an

Candy Motzek:

overachiever, you're doing all the things, checking all the

Candy Motzek:

boxes. And then when I thought, oh my gosh, what do I want? I

Candy Motzek:

had no idea. And then through time, I figured out that

Candy Motzek:

coaching was a really great place for me. So burnout was

Candy Motzek:

definitely part of the journey. But more than anything, it was

Candy Motzek:

like going back to, you know, who I feel, how I felt that I

Candy Motzek:

wanted to live my life the kinds of things that I like to do.

Candy Motzek:

Yeah,

Janice Porter:

so it was a process. It took time. And it's

Janice Porter:

funny, because I left corporate in the early 2000s for two

Janice Porter:

different reasons. One, I was being squeezed out because I was

Janice Porter:

a trainer, but I was a contract trainer, and I wanted it that

Janice Porter:

way because I had a little baby at home, but, well, she wasn't a

Janice Porter:

little baby by the time I got squeezed out she was but what

Janice Porter:

was I going to say? But I didn't know what I wanted to do. I knew

Janice Porter:

the writing was on the wall, and I knew I didn't want to be in a

Janice Porter:

job, job, which is why I'd been a contractor for so many years,

Janice Porter:

that I had some control over what I was doing, and I loved

Janice Porter:

what I was doing because I was training. And that's what I love

Janice Porter:

to do, is teach and train, and that's what I've always done,

Janice Porter:

whether I was a teacher and a school teacher, which I was or

Janice Porter:

whether I was doing corporate training, I was always teaching.

Janice Porter:

So when I had to figure out who I was going forward, I actually

Janice Porter:

looked into coaching. And at that time, coaching was a very

Janice Porter:

new thing, and it cost 1000s and 1000s and 1000s of dollars to

Janice Porter:

get into it. Still. Last month a lot of money, but it was way

Janice Porter:

more expensive back then, and I didn't have that kind of money

Janice Porter:

to make that transition. But I also discovered that I don't

Janice Porter:

think I was a coach, because I'm a teacher and they're different.

Janice Porter:

Yeah, do you see super different?

Candy Motzek:

Yeah, very different, yeah. And for me, the

Candy Motzek:

main difference between teaching and coaching is the teacher

Candy Motzek:

knows something that the student doesn't know, and you hopefully

Candy Motzek:

give them the most efficient, most effective way of helping

Candy Motzek:

them learn that thing, whereas the coach assumes that the human

Candy Motzek:

on the other side of the call knows enough about their life.

Candy Motzek:

And so the questions are evocative, you know, like, what?

Candy Motzek:

What question do you need to change your own perspective and

Candy Motzek:

look at your own life differently? And so there's a

Candy Motzek:

lot of similarities, but the real difference is in the I know

Candy Motzek:

something a teacher, I know something that you don't know,

Candy Motzek:

and I can help you. Whereas the coach says, you know something

Candy Motzek:

and you don't know and you can figure this out, and I'm here

Candy Motzek:

with you.

Janice Porter:

That's, that's the best description I've heard

Janice Porter:

in a long time of the two different things, and it makes

Janice Porter:

so much sense, absolutely and and also, what else I've noticed

Janice Porter:

in the times that I've spent talking to you recently is you

Janice Porter:

have the best demeanor for a coach. You're so calm and so

Janice Porter:

level, not,

Candy Motzek:

yeah, thank you. Gosh, that's a I really

Candy Motzek:

appreciate the compliment, and it's funny because on I'm a, I

Candy Motzek:

don't know how to describe it. I'm used to being calm, you

Candy Motzek:

know, like old corporate land, when things get really crazy,

Candy Motzek:

the leader needs to, like, take a breath, yeah, catch your

Candy Motzek:

breath. Don't jump, don't react, respond, support your team. And

Candy Motzek:

I think I learned that. And so that's a lot of my calm

Candy Motzek:

demeanor. I am a relatively calm person, but I don't always feel

Candy Motzek:

calm inside. And I think that that's really important, that we

Candy Motzek:

know that even though somebody's outside looks calm and together,

Candy Motzek:

it has nothing to do with what's going on on the inside of them,

Candy Motzek:

right? So

Janice Porter:

that's an interesting theory there.

Janice Porter:

Because what if you know you're playing it out with your job or

Janice Porter:

with just life, or with your relationships that you're in,

Janice Porter:

and you're giving that the other people around you, the

Janice Porter:

appearance of your you got it all together, and it's calm, and

Janice Porter:

you're calm. It's funny, because I'm thinking about this, this

Janice Porter:

show I'm watching, which is called the bear, I don't know,

Janice Porter:

yeah, and it's about a chef and the whole all the people and the

Janice Porter:

restaurant and everything. And they're all like, tight, tight

Janice Porter:

as a drum, because there's so much stress, and, you know, and

Janice Porter:

yet, some of them are gliding that surface of the calmness,

Janice Porter:

and so when you're you're giving that person, giving off that

Janice Porter:

persona, and you're dying inside, or you're so wound up

Janice Porter:

inside that can't be good, right? No,

Candy Motzek:

it's not. And I think that there's a there's a

Candy Motzek:

difference in it. It might be like, there's sort of three

Candy Motzek:

scenarios. One is that you are feeling calm and the outside

Candy Motzek:

matches the inside. And then other times, maybe you're not

Candy Motzek:

feeling calm inside, but you can you have enough emotional

Candy Motzek:

regulation to take a breath and say, Okay, well, I'm feeling

Candy Motzek:

these feelings inside, but that doesn't mean that I need to make

Candy Motzek:

them have an impact. It's not the best way for us to solve

Candy Motzek:

this problem or to come together or have that conversation. And

Candy Motzek:

then there's other times when you're not feeling calm on the

Candy Motzek:

outside, and you're just like, that's it. I'm not doing this.

Candy Motzek:

And you go postal, essentially, right? Yeah, the place that it's

Candy Motzek:

great for us to be aware is just because we're feeling it doesn't

Candy Motzek:

mean we need to express it, but that doesn't mean that we're not

Candy Motzek:

acknowledging that's how we feel, you know? So when just

Candy Motzek:

back to thinking about burnout, one of the things that I really

Candy Motzek:

noticed about burnout is that I was numb. So not only did I look

Candy Motzek:

calm, but I was like, flat, right? And there is a real

Candy Motzek:

difference between that. So if you're numb, okay, now you're

Candy Motzek:

out of touch, but if you're aware, oh, I'm feeling nervous.

Candy Motzek:

You know, like my butterflies always go before a podcast

Candy Motzek:

interview. I might be feeling nervous, but I can take a deep

Candy Motzek:

breath, and I can look at you on the other side of the screen and

Candy Motzek:

know we're going to have a conversation. So yeah,

Janice Porter:

so let's talk about your clients for a minute,

Janice Porter:

because you coach people who are they might be new coaches and.

Janice Porter:

Um, who have come from the same kind of situation as you have

Janice Porter:

some, you know, similar in that they've had Burnet, they've left

Janice Porter:

corporate, or they're thinking about leaving corporate, and

Janice Porter:

they might be doing something on the side, and I might just add

Janice Porter:

in here, and you jump in as when you hear, when you want to hear,

Janice Porter:

is that there's a lot of people today calling themselves

Janice Porter:

coaches, and they're not necessarily coaches, like

Janice Porter:

certified coaches, and I know I'm thinking of someone that is

Janice Porter:

that came from corporate, and she just, she's just rolled into

Janice Porter:

being a coach. She's certified, and she did everything while she

Janice Porter:

was still at the company, and now she's just rocking and

Janice Porter:

rolling it on her own. And in fact, she might be good person

Janice Porter:

for your podcast. I just thought about that, and but there's a

Janice Porter:

lot of people out there. They don't know what to do. They

Janice Porter:

don't know where to start, and that's where you come in. Do

Janice Porter:

they find you? Or do you find them? First of all, most

Candy Motzek:

of the time, they find me. And so just back to

Candy Motzek:

this, people who decide to be a coach, but maybe don't

Candy Motzek:

necessarily take training. So we already talked a little bit

Candy Motzek:

about the difference between the trainer and the coach. And then

Candy Motzek:

there's sort of two other roles that I think kind of come into

Candy Motzek:

play here, the one of mentor, you know? So, right? Mentor is a

Candy Motzek:

little bit different. Again. It says, I've been there and I can

Candy Motzek:

guide you. And then consultant. Consultant says, Give me all

Candy Motzek:

your stuff. I'll create a solution and hand you the

Candy Motzek:

solution. So there is a lot of people where they may not be a

Candy Motzek:

trained coach, but they may be one of these other roles, and it

Candy Motzek:

may be very effective, but there's no regulation in the

Candy Motzek:

industry right now, right?

Janice Porter:

But wait a second, don't call me a co don't

Janice Porter:

call yourself a coach. If that's not what you are, that's what,

Candy Motzek:

yeah, you know what? I used to get myself

Candy Motzek:

really wound up about that too, but I realized that I can't

Candy Motzek:

control what anybody else calls themselves, and if they want to

Candy Motzek:

call themselves cells, chocolate milk or a puppy, I mean, so be

Candy Motzek:

it, right? But there is no regulation. So the people that I

Candy Motzek:

work with, we've taken training, we've practiced, we've had

Candy Motzek:

oversight. We know coaching skills, which is very different,

Candy Motzek:

and we call ourselves coaches. Other people in the world are

Candy Motzek:

going to call themselves a coach. Eventually, at some point

Candy Motzek:

in time, there will be some kind of regulation, and at that

Candy Motzek:

point, well, then, then things will have to change. Sorry, but

Candy Motzek:

then you had another question for me. I just wanted to dive in

Candy Motzek:

on that, because I think it's really important for people to

Candy Motzek:

know that is some Yeah, some coaches are not coaches, yeah.

Candy Motzek:

And so if you're looking at engaging a coach to help with

Candy Motzek:

anything, you might want to see if they've actually got coach

Candy Motzek:

training in addition to their life training and their life

Candy Motzek:

skills,

Janice Porter:

right? And I think that, you know, I have,

Janice Porter:

I've always said that, you know, I can mentor people. I've got

Janice Porter:

the Wisdom, I've got the experience, I've been through it

Janice Porter:

all. So now let me help you, but it's not I would never be a

Janice Porter:

coach. I would never call myself a coach, because I'm not a

Janice Porter:

coach. But yeah, so the second piece we I was talking about was

Janice Porter:

you said that your clients find you. So are they in various

Janice Porter:

stages when they find you? Have they decided they want to be a

Janice Porter:

coach, or are they just still in burnout mode? Yeah,

Candy Motzek:

so some of them are in thinking mode where

Candy Motzek:

they're like, Ah, this coaching thing sounds interesting. They

Candy Motzek:

find me in that stage. They find me in I've decided this is

Candy Motzek:

something that I'd like to do, and I'm in the middle of

Candy Motzek:

training. I talk to people then and then also others who are

Candy Motzek:

finished their training and have made a start, and they're just

Candy Motzek:

like, Well, I really want to do this, but it's not as easy as I

Candy Motzek:

thought, and I've got some challenges, and I need some

Candy Motzek:

help. So sort of three different ways that people kind of

Candy Motzek:

conditions that they come to me in and they find me through all

Candy Motzek:

different ways. They find me on LinkedIn, they find me on my

Candy Motzek:

podcast. They find me on interviews, on other people's

Candy Motzek:

shows. I've got a book that I wrote. You know, all these

Candy Motzek:

different ways. The thing that's important is I try to be myself.

Candy Motzek:

And, you know, there's people who will find me and I am just

Candy Motzek:

not their flavor. That's fine. And there's people who find me

Candy Motzek:

and they're like, Oh, I could talk to her. I love that, don't

Candy Motzek:

you? Right? I

Janice Porter:

love that, yeah, because enough out there for all

Janice Porter:

of us. We just have to number one, you know, if you're, for

Janice Porter:

example, using LinkedIn, because I have to put this plug in here,

Janice Porter:

because you just gave me that opening, is that if your

Janice Porter:

LinkedIn speaks to who you are and who your audience is, they

Janice Porter:

will attract the right people, and then it usually works. But

Janice Porter:

if there's no, you know, there's nothing to hook me into that

Janice Porter:

might be my person. Quite often it isn't. So, you know, it's

Janice Porter:

kind of fun to to to explore that and and. Find the right

Janice Porter:

people. So what would you say is your ideal client Like, who do

Janice Porter:

you love to work with the most? Which stage are they at?

Candy Motzek:

Yeah, so the people that I love to work with

Candy Motzek:

the most are the ones that are in the middle of their personal

Candy Motzek:

development before they become a coach. So they are people who

Candy Motzek:

are successful, hard workers, ambitious, and they know

Candy Motzek:

something's not quite right in their life. And so they're doing

Candy Motzek:

that personal exploration. I love working with those people

Candy Motzek:

to begin with, and then many of them go, Oh yes, I want, now

Candy Motzek:

that I've experienced coaching, I want to be able to do that

Candy Motzek:

also

Janice Porter:

and and usually I would expect, but I'm not going

Janice Porter:

to assume, but I would expect that they're coming from the the

Janice Porter:

idea that they, like I said, they've got the Wisdom in the

Janice Porter:

field they were In, or how to how to be a good leader, and

Janice Porter:

they just were in the wrong environment, or the corporate

Janice Porter:

thing just gets to be too much after a while, or whatever,

Janice Porter:

right?

Candy Motzek:

Yeah, definitely,

Janice Porter:

especially today, yeah.

Candy Motzek:

I really feel for the people in corporate. I think

Candy Motzek:

that you can have a great career, but I'm not sure that

Candy Motzek:

it's a lifetime career anymore. That's just my opinion.

Janice Porter:

I well it, yeah, it isn't, I don't think, but

Janice Porter:

depends. I don't want to get into it, but I see people being

Janice Porter:

poor leaders that are leading my people, like my daughter, who

Janice Porter:

need strong leaders to teach them and guide them moving

Janice Porter:

forward. And instead, she hates her job and she hates her boss,

Janice Porter:

you know. So it's just and yet you can't leave. You're making

Janice Porter:

good money and, you know, you're anyway. So it's very frustrating

Janice Porter:

to say what

Candy Motzek:

you're saying. I mean, that's not, it's not an

Candy Motzek:

isolated incident. There's 1000s, hundreds of 1000s of

Candy Motzek:

people in that, in that scenario, and it's tough,

Janice Porter:

yeah, yeah, but I guess because everybody's

Janice Porter:

struggling to survive, right? And okay, so that brings me,

Janice Porter:

actually, to

Janice Porter:

the you

Janice Porter:

help your clients get unstuck and feel more confidence and

Janice Porter:

clarity, so that you know they can see the forest for the

Janice Porter:

trees, so to speak, they can see whether they're what they can do

Janice Porter:

to better themselves in their situation or move or Get the

Janice Porter:

confidence to move to another situation. So have you gone

Janice Porter:

through, like, the actual transition with clients, where

Janice Porter:

they've left corporate while you're Yeah,

Candy Motzek:

yeah, yeah, yes. And it's very for me, it's super

Candy Motzek:

rewarding. Oh, I'm sure, mainly, and it's not the leaving

Candy Motzek:

corporate, like some of them become coaches and stay where

Candy Motzek:

they are, or shift within their company. You know, they get they

Candy Motzek:

choose the right path for them, but the thing that's the most

Candy Motzek:

rewarding is that they become more of who they're supposed to

Candy Motzek:

be, right? And that's the part in my bio where I think coaching

Candy Motzek:

is a calling, like there is a certain kind of person who wants

Candy Motzek:

to have a deep conversation to help somebody else grow in their

Candy Motzek:

life. And so for me, that seeing them go, you know, like they

Candy Motzek:

might have originally started with me, and they're a little

Candy Motzek:

bit hollow and a little bit tired and a little bit a lot of

Candy Motzek:

things, and then all of a sudden, it's like they wake up

Candy Motzek:

and they get their life back. That's amazing.

Janice Porter:

Oh yeah, it must be you just made me think of

Janice Porter:

something too, where you said you certain kind of person that

Janice Porter:

that you know likes to get have the deeper conversations and so

Janice Porter:

on. It reminds me, actually, of sort of a joke. But it's not in

Janice Porter:

that my husband will go golfing with somebody, and he'll come

Janice Porter:

back and say, Oh, I met this really great couple from

Janice Porter:

Australia that we golfed with today. And I've heard, actually,

Janice Porter:

comedians do this joke, but this isn't a joke. This is real life.

Janice Porter:

So my husband will come home and I'll say, Oh, great. I said, you

Janice Porter:

know, where were they from? I don't know. What were they doing

Janice Porter:

here, like, you know, did they? Are they here on vacation? Or,

Janice Porter:

you know, blah, blah, blah, I'm asking a million questions.

Janice Porter:

Janice, I don't know. I was just golfing with them. You spent

Janice Porter:

four hours with them, and you have nothing to tell me, right?

Janice Porter:

Yeah, that's But me, I'm five minutes. I would have had the

Janice Porter:

whole life history of that couple

Candy Motzek:

so exactly, and shown the pictures of the

Candy Motzek:

grandchildren and the graduations and all of these

Candy Motzek:

things, right? Yeah.

Janice Porter:

So there are people like us who like to have

Janice Porter:

those conversations, and can do it in the in the you know, very

Janice Porter:

easily. Now, yours is more controlled and more systematic,

Janice Porter:

because you have a strategy when your coach. Watching somebody

Janice Porter:

me, I'm just curious, and I just want to know more. But

Candy Motzek:

that's the thing, right? Like that curiosity, that

Candy Motzek:

is the spark of learning, and that's the spark of connection.

Candy Motzek:

Like, as soon as you're curious about somebody, they feel, they

Candy Motzek:

relax, they're like, Oh, she's not judging me. She's interested

Candy Motzek:

in me. There's your that's how you know, your skill at creating

Candy Motzek:

relationships is amazing from that,

Janice Porter:

that's what I love to do. Yeah, it's kind of

Janice Porter:

fun. So so we said we'd talk a little bit about self care, and

Janice Porter:

so let's do that in the sense of, like, where what were you

Janice Porter:

thinking? Were you thinking of the potential clients that you

Janice Porter:

have and how they should take or just in general, for women,

Janice Porter:

let's say in our age,

Candy Motzek:

yeah, well, I was thinking women mainly

Candy Motzek:

entrepreneurs and self care.

Janice Porter:

Let's do that, because the relationship we have

Janice Porter:

with ourself is so important. Exactly. Yeah, yeah, for sure.

Janice Porter:

Okay, so go for it. Tell me. Tell me. Okay. Look like, yeah,

Janice Porter:

tell me. What did that mean to you when you say we should all

Janice Porter:

pay attention and, you know, take care of ourselves well. You

Janice Porter:

and I had a little conversation before we went on air about me

Janice Porter:

not taking care of my knee. And that's sort of, you know, I'm

Janice Porter:

getting there, but that's self care in itself, right,

Candy Motzek:

right? And we all, we all have these things where

Candy Motzek:

we don't take care of ourselves. We put ourselves second or third

Candy Motzek:

or like, at the bottom of the list, we didn't even make the

Candy Motzek:

list, right? So for me, the self care, it actually starts with

Candy Motzek:

that question that I said earlier, like, what do I want?

Candy Motzek:

Right? You know, when we allow ourselves to want to feel good

Candy Motzek:

and to feel energized and full of energy and have a great life,

Candy Motzek:

there's a place of those are some clues for us for self care.

Candy Motzek:

Often, the things that you hear about self care they you know

Candy Motzek:

when you're not in a position where you're taking care of

Candy Motzek:

yourself, because life has happened and that's just the way

Candy Motzek:

it is. And then you learn what to do. You go, oh, gosh, that

Candy Motzek:

it's so easy. But it's not so easy when you're you know,

Candy Motzek:

you've put yourself down the priority list, and you have to

Candy Motzek:

climb your way out. So things like getting enough sleep,

Candy Motzek:

drinking water, eating healthy, nourishing food, move your body,

Candy Motzek:

get outside in nature, get some sunlight on your face, and

Janice Porter:

do that enough, that's for sure, and play,

Janice Porter:

whether

Candy Motzek:

that is you love to listen to music and sing

Candy Motzek:

along, or you love to dance in the kitchen. And so those are

Candy Motzek:

the things I love, also, creativity and as adult women,

Candy Motzek:

lots of times, we've lost that place of creativity, right? So

Candy Motzek:

go back to those fun things that you used to do when you were

Candy Motzek:

younger. Maybe you loved to paint, maybe you loved to do

Candy Motzek:

calligraphy, maybe you loved just a color. It doesn't matter

Candy Motzek:

what it is, it's that. It's not work, it's not constructive,

Candy Motzek:

it's play, right? That's, I think, is the biggest thing. I

Candy Motzek:

don't know what's your experience with play,

Janice Porter:

that I don't do enough of it and that. But my

Janice Porter:

granddaughter is teaching me in that. I've noticed that when I'm

Janice Porter:

with her, and she's five now, but when I'm with her, all else

Janice Porter:

doesn't matter, because I'm focused on what we're doing and

Janice Porter:

working with her, playing well, I say, working with her, playing

Janice Porter:

with her, but I'm often teaching, because that's what I

Janice Porter:

do. But she is definitely brought that to play. No pun

Janice Porter:

intended. More I love

Candy Motzek:

that. Yeah, and there's something that you said

Candy Motzek:

too, that I think is, is really important here, is you kind of

Candy Motzek:

lose track of all the other things that are going on, right?

Candy Motzek:

So when you're so focused and you're playing and you're being

Candy Motzek:

creative and you're right present, yeah, that recharges

Candy Motzek:

your batteries, right?

Janice Porter:

Do you know Kristen Anderson? No, no, I

Janice Porter:

don't. Oh, she's amazing. She's all about play, and she teaches

Janice Porter:

people in the workplace to play. And she was on my podcast a

Janice Porter:

long, long time ago. I should have her come back on. Actually,

Janice Porter:

she's a lot of fun. She's local and but she works with a lot of

Janice Porter:

corporations around play, so I often see her on Facebook being

Janice Porter:

silly and doing stuff like that, you know, that I would never

Janice Porter:

find myself doing. But yeah, so she likes to have fun. And there

Janice Porter:

was something else I was going to say about that. Oh, no. What

Janice Porter:

I was going to say is I'm just going to shift the topic a

Janice Porter:

little bit sure, because I shared with you, before we came

Janice Porter:

on air, that I found an old podcast of yours about grow your

Janice Porter:

business with gratitude. Now I know that that's not what we

Janice Porter:

were totally talking about. However, I think it fits in the

Janice Porter:

sense that I. Uh, that is a having gratitude helps you be

Janice Porter:

it's a positive thing, right? Is, and I notice you have these

Janice Porter:

journals or books behind you, and I'm guessing they're

Janice Porter:

journals. And, yeah, do you? You talked about writing, and

Janice Porter:

actually three in this podcast, you talked about gratitude and

Janice Porter:

writing things down every three things every day. But what I

Janice Porter:

loved about it was that you actually explained, you know,

Janice Porter:

why we get stuck writing the same three things every day, but

Janice Porter:

we because we're not expanding on those things. And that was a

Janice Porter:

good reminder to me, I'm not very good at journaling. I've

Janice Porter:

I've something I've tried over the years but never stuck to, do

Janice Porter:

you do do you journal every day?

Candy Motzek:

Yes, every single day. And these poor books that

Candy Motzek:

are behind me right here, that's I go through about one a month.

Candy Motzek:

I never used to journal, but it, it journaling is one word, but

Candy Motzek:

it does a whole bunch of things, you know? So I either get rid of

Candy Motzek:

the garbage in my head. I deal with different perspectives. I

Candy Motzek:

might coach myself. I might plan something for my business. I

Candy Motzek:

might remember what to be grateful for. And I love

Candy Motzek:

gratitude really is a powerful it's really a powerful approach,

Candy Motzek:

right? Like totally. It's in the it's in the detail that we feel

Candy Motzek:

the gratitude. So, you know, like you were saying, you could

Candy Motzek:

go to bed every night and say, What three things am I grateful

Candy Motzek:

for? Oh, my house, my you know relationships, and you know that

Candy Motzek:

it's summer, but it doesn't there's no connection, right?

Candy Motzek:

There's no connection to your emotions into your life, but

Candy Motzek:

when it's like my health, because I've just gotten over

Candy Motzek:

the flu, and now I'm starting to feel like myself or my health,

Candy Motzek:

because I made a great salad tonight, and I just feel so good

Candy Motzek:

and clean. Now you've got something that hangs on to

Candy Motzek:

right, and I think that's where it really matters. Yeah,

Janice Porter:

that's good. And do you incorporate journal

Janice Porter:

writing with your clients? Do you encourage them to do that?

Candy Motzek:

Yes, yeah, this is something that is part of the

Candy Motzek:

thing I recommend everybody do. And so there's a particular

Candy Motzek:

format that I recommend, but it's always starting small,

Candy Motzek:

because to go from never journaling to writing and

Candy Motzek:

writing and writing is just too big of a jump, right with two

Candy Motzek:

minutes a day, a little bit, and all you have to do is start with

Candy Motzek:

that place where you go what's on my mind right now, and you

Candy Motzek:

just write about it, and that's it for two minutes. You do that

Candy Motzek:

for a few days, and you start to build that habit. I've had

Candy Motzek:

clients that maybe I've worked with them for a year or two

Candy Motzek:

years, and in the first month, we talk about journaling, and I

Candy Motzek:

tell them what to do, and then I remind them every month for a

Candy Motzek:

long time. And because it takes, it takes, right? And then 18

Candy Motzek:

months later, they're saying to me, you know, the best thing

Candy Motzek:

that I've ever learned is this journaling habit, boy, you

Candy Motzek:

should really do more of this journaling habit. And I love it

Candy Motzek:

because it means that it's, they've taken it and made it

Candy Motzek:

theirs, right? They've created the way that works for them. But

Candy Motzek:

it just, it doesn't happen overnight. So when

Janice Porter:

people journal on a daily basis, I'm curious about

Janice Porter:

this, do you go back and read what you've written, or do you

Janice Porter:

just, is it just about getting it down out of your head?

Candy Motzek:

It's different. There's different ways. So

Candy Motzek:

sometimes I go back like I'm working on a particular approach

Candy Motzek:

right now around this is one of the books by Dr Benjamin Hardy.

Candy Motzek:

10x is easier than 2x so I have this vision of my 10x self, and

Candy Motzek:

it's completely impossible to achieve this thing that I have

Candy Motzek:

in my imagination. But I spend every day a few minutes dreaming

Candy Motzek:

and saying, let's pretend. Let's pretend that it actually

Candy Motzek:

happened. And then write about that those ones, I go and I

Candy Motzek:

reread. But if I've just woken up on the wrong side of the bed

Candy Motzek:

and I'm feeling grumpy and all that, then I'm just going to be

Candy Motzek:

like, Oh, what's bothering me right now? And I write a list of

Candy Motzek:

all the things that are bothering me, those ones I don't

Candy Motzek:

go back and look at, right? So it's, you know, super

Janice Porter:

those in the same book. Are they? Yeah, okay,

Janice Porter:

yeah.

Candy Motzek:

I'll just like, whatever is the mood of the day.

Candy Motzek:

That's what, that's what I'm doing. I

Janice Porter:

love journals. I love the whole idea of them, but

Janice Porter:

I can't, maybe I'll try again, because I like the idea. I just

Janice Porter:

the funny thing is, over the years, my handwriting used to be

Janice Porter:

wonderful. Now it's not.

Candy Motzek:

I've heard that, as you get more intelligent,

Candy Motzek:

your handwriting is so that's right, perfect. I'm

Janice Porter:

taking that one with me. I love it. Okay, all

Janice Porter:

right, this has been so great. So I've got two last questions

Janice Porter:

for you. The first. One is that you may already know this, but

Janice Porter:

curiosity is one of my favorite words, and I love that whole

Janice Porter:

concept of curiosity. And this is a two part question that I

Janice Porter:

like to ask most of my guests, if I'm feeling it and I'm

Janice Porter:

feeling it today. So first part is, do you believe that

Janice Porter:

curiosity is innate or learned, and part two is, what are you

Janice Porter:

most curious about these days yourself?

Candy Motzek:

So I believe that curiosity is innate, and then we

Candy Motzek:

unlearn it, and then we relearn it. That's my that's my thought.

Candy Motzek:

I get kind of hardened and cynical, you know, when we're

Candy Motzek:

living that adult life from, say, 20 to 3540, unless we're

Candy Motzek:

we've never lost that sort of gift of curiosity. Sometimes

Janice Porter:

it can be, I think, lost in school. Yeah,

Janice Porter:

yeah. You know, I swear one of my daughters never had a teacher

Janice Porter:

that inspired her, Oh, her whole high school years, and I think

Janice Porter:

that made a huge difference. Now she didn't like school, but she

Janice Porter:

was a great athlete, and so that kind of kept her going. My other

Janice Porter:

daughter would argue if she got a B plus, because it wasn't an

Janice Porter:

A. So she loved learning in school, right? So I think it

Janice Porter:

depends. But yeah, that's that's fine. I mean, there's no wrong

Janice Porter:

answer. People believe what they believe. So thank you for your

Janice Porter:

your take on that. And what are you most curious about?

Candy Motzek:

What am I most curious about these days? I love

Candy Motzek:

that question. I'm always most curious about people and what

Candy Motzek:

makes them tick, and, you know, like, how they got to be who

Candy Motzek:

they are, what's going on in their life, and and there's

Candy Motzek:

something about it's hard to describe. It kind of goes back

Candy Motzek:

to that thing about why I love coaching is I'm always curious

Candy Motzek:

about what's the thing that kind of relights that spark in their

Candy Motzek:

eyes. It's, you know, like we might be talking, and then all

Candy Motzek:

of a sudden, it's there. It's like, oh, there it is. They just

Candy Motzek:

woke up. What was that? Yeah, super curious about that. Super

Candy Motzek:

curious about people and just what, what makes them not just

Candy Motzek:

happy, but fulfilled and satisfied? You know, happy is so

Candy Motzek:

fleeting, but fulfilled is a big deal.

Janice Porter:

I would think that you have to be a really

Janice Porter:

observant person, but also a very if this makes sense, an

Janice Porter:

observant listener, an activist, but an observant right, like,

Janice Porter:

just totally Yeah, so, and that's a real skill in itself.

Janice Porter:

Just for fun. Do you know what the anagram of listen is?

Candy Motzek:

Silent,

Janice Porter:

yeah. Isn't that brilliant?

Candy Motzek:

Yeah. I love it. I know.

Janice Porter:

I just something that comes to me once in a

Janice Porter:

while. I used to teach listening as one of the skills to in

Janice Porter:

customer service that I used to teach at our at corporate when I

Janice Porter:

was at the telephone company, and I did this day long training

Janice Porter:

for customer service people, and listening was part of it. So,

Janice Porter:

yeah, it always came from a book I read about listening, and I

Janice Porter:

never forgot it ever anyway, I digress. Last question, what's

Janice Porter:

your best piece of advice that you would like to share with my

Janice Porter:

audience about whatever you want to do with your business,

Janice Porter:

whatever

Candy Motzek:

I think the best piece of advice about business

Candy Motzek:

and with your audience is that it's not just okay for you to

Candy Motzek:

build a business that's reflective of you and who you

Candy Motzek:

really are and what you really want, but it's imperative,

Candy Motzek:

because that's the business that wants to be created through you.

Candy Motzek:

So so often, it's easy to sign up with a coach or a trainer who

Candy Motzek:

says, do my five steps and it will work. But those five steps

Candy Motzek:

are fine, but they're maybe not exactly your flavor, exactly

Candy Motzek:

your value system. So take that extra bit of time and really

Candy Motzek:

check inside and make sure that the thing that you're creating

Candy Motzek:

really speaks to you. There's lots of people who create

Candy Motzek:

businesses that are not fulfilling, so just give

Candy Motzek:

yourself permission to want what you want and to create the way

Candy Motzek:

that you want to make it.

Janice Porter:

Yeah, that's great advice, actually, because

Janice Porter:

there's so many people out there daily selling us stuff, and we

Janice Porter:

get caught up in in something that sounds good for the minute,

Janice Porter:

and now it's so easy to buy. Yeah, we haven't thought it

Janice Porter:

through. So we need to stop and look, is it really the right fit

Janice Porter:

for us? That's amazing. Thank you. You've been an amazing

Janice Porter:

guest. You. You. Gave us some great strategies and skills, and

Janice Porter:

I got to know you a little bit better, and that's always

Janice Porter:

special for me. So thank you for being here, and thank you to my

Janice Porter:

audience again for your loyalty and for being here. And please,

Janice Porter:

if you like what you've heard, please leave a review. We'd love

Janice Porter:

to hear them. And you can find candy on her website at

Candy Motzek:

step into success. Now.com is my website, and I

Candy Motzek:

have a free gift for anybody. It is at Candy's free gift.com

Janice Porter:

perfect, and I will put those on the show

Janice Porter:

notes. And I appreciate again you being here and again,

Janice Porter:

remember to stay connected and be remembered. You.

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About the Podcast

Relationships Rule
It’s always about Relationships!
Imagine that 68% of our clients leave because they feel we don’t care. Then visualize having authentic heart-based retention strategies, proven to minimize client losses, while organically generating a substantial number of loyal clients through referrals.

Catch a glimpse of how Janice opens a conversation by applying her fine-tuned curiosity. Notice how genuinely interested she is in building a relationship with her guests – heart-based business owners and entrepreneurs. In mere minutes, guests generously share their most sweet and powerful retention systems that you can adopt today!

As a seasoned relationship marketing specialist, Janice invites us to listen in weekly, as she reveals how to nurture and build relationships in real-time.

The Relationships Rule podcast’s aim, is to help you naturally ease your networking fears, so you can adopt strategies that amplify your client list, because the facts are, that today, success is built on a foundation of strong relationships. You can relax now, knowing you can activate your relationship marketing plan, by simply tuning in to Relationships Rule each week.

About your host

Profile picture for Janice Porter

Janice Porter

I began my career as a teacher, was a corporate trainer for many years, and have now found my niche in coaching business owners to network at a world-class level.
My passion is working with motivated people, who are coachable and who want to build their businesses through relationship marketing and networking (offline & online). I help my clients create retention strategies, grow through referrals, and create loyal customers by staying connected.