Reinventing Yourself: Candy Motzek’s Approach to Coaching and Personal Development | RR276

Janice Porter: 00:00:01

Hello everyone, and welcome to this week's

Janice Porter: 00:00:03

episode of relationships rule. I have a special guest this week,

Janice Porter: 00:00:07

as always, and her name is Candy motsek, and I'm happy to

Janice Porter: 00:00:12

introduce her and welcome her to the show. Candy is an author, a

Janice Porter: 00:00:16

podcast host and a business coach for life coaches, Candy

Janice Porter: 00:00:20

helps smart people start successful coaching businesses.

Janice Porter: 00:00:23

I love that she believes that coaching transforms lives and

Janice Porter: 00:00:27

that being a coach is a calling. She helps her clients get

Janice Porter: 00:00:31

unstuck and feel more confidence and clarity so they can play

Janice Porter: 00:00:35

bigger, sign clients and create more meaningful success. She is

Janice Porter: 00:00:39

a recovering corporate executive, an engineer who

Janice Porter: 00:00:43

combines practical, strategy and mindset in her calming, unique

Janice Porter: 00:00:47

approach to coaching. She also has a podcast, which is called,

Janice Porter: 00:00:51

she coaches coaches, and I love that too. So welcome to the

Janice Porter: 00:00:55

show, candy. Oh,

Candy Motzek: 00:00:56

thanks Janice, and I really appreciate having me

Candy Motzek: 00:00:59

on. It's great. Looking forward to our conversation, perfect.

Janice Porter: 00:01:03

And I know that candy works from her she shed,

Janice Porter: 00:01:07

which is a beautiful spot in the back of her garden. Right? How

Janice Porter: 00:01:10

long have you had that?

Candy Motzek: 00:01:12

You know, it's been about seven years now, and

Candy Motzek: 00:01:15

I just love it. And I got to say even all these things. And I'm

Candy Motzek: 00:01:21

thinking, I got to do something about that. All this, you know,

Candy Motzek: 00:01:25

like, it makes it really hard to pronounce all these things. So

Candy Motzek: 00:01:29

apologies about that. Oh

Janice Porter: 00:01:30

no, I love it. It's so cool. And to have your

Janice Porter: 00:01:32

own spaces, I love that. That's that's amazing to do your work.

Janice Porter: 00:01:36

So what intrigued me about your bio was the fact that you've

Janice Porter: 00:01:42

been the corporate route, which a lot of us in our age brackets

Janice Porter: 00:01:45

have. So you've been the corporate route, and that you

Janice Porter: 00:01:48

were an engineer, so very linear, very left brain thinking

Janice Porter: 00:01:52

kind of person. So you did you experience burnout? What was it

Janice Porter: 00:01:58

that made you turn from the corporate world and decide I

Janice Porter: 00:02:03

want to be a coach. I am curious about that, so I'd love

Candy Motzek: 00:02:07

yeah and so yes, former engineer and corporate

Candy Motzek: 00:02:12

exec and burnout was like, I had a really big burnout one time.

Candy Motzek: 00:02:20

But prior to that, I probably had three or four or five mini

Candy Motzek: 00:02:24

burnouts. So like, burnout is kind of like a way of life, and

Candy Motzek: 00:02:29

I'm recovering from that as well. It wasn't specifically the

Candy Motzek: 00:02:35

burnout that made me change, but I always knew that I was better

Candy Motzek: 00:02:40

suited to the people conversation, the coaching, that

Candy Motzek: 00:02:43

kind of thing. And I used to actually do it in every role

Candy Motzek: 00:02:47

that I had. I kind of did it, but I didn't have the training.

Candy Motzek: 00:02:50

Then when things really, you know, got nasty with burnout and

Candy Motzek: 00:02:55

that whole recovery process, I started to really look and go,

Candy Motzek: 00:02:58

Okay, what's really going on here is, you know, like, what do

Candy Motzek: 00:03:03

I really want? And as a woman, middle aged, I found that that

Candy Motzek: 00:03:10

was kind of a hard question. Like, you know, you're an

Candy Motzek: 00:03:14

overachiever, you're doing all the things, checking all the

Candy Motzek: 00:03:16

boxes. And then when I thought, oh my gosh, what do I want? I

Candy Motzek: 00:03:21

had no idea. And then through time, I figured out that

Candy Motzek: 00:03:26

coaching was a really great place for me. So burnout was

Candy Motzek: 00:03:29

definitely part of the journey. But more than anything, it was

Candy Motzek: 00:03:34

like going back to, you know, who I feel, how I felt that I

Candy Motzek: 00:03:39

wanted to live my life the kinds of things that I like to do.

Candy Motzek: 00:03:43

Yeah,

Janice Porter: 00:03:44

so it was a process. It took time. And it's

Janice Porter: 00:03:48

funny, because I left corporate in the early 2000s for two

Janice Porter: 00:03:56

different reasons. One, I was being squeezed out because I was

Janice Porter: 00:04:01

a trainer, but I was a contract trainer, and I wanted it that

Janice Porter: 00:04:05

way because I had a little baby at home, but, well, she wasn't a

Janice Porter: 00:04:11

little baby by the time I got squeezed out she was but what

Janice Porter: 00:04:16

was I going to say? But I didn't know what I wanted to do. I knew

Janice Porter: 00:04:22

the writing was on the wall, and I knew I didn't want to be in a

Janice Porter: 00:04:26

job, job, which is why I'd been a contractor for so many years,

Janice Porter: 00:04:29

that I had some control over what I was doing, and I loved

Janice Porter: 00:04:32

what I was doing because I was training. And that's what I love

Janice Porter: 00:04:35

to do, is teach and train, and that's what I've always done,

Janice Porter: 00:04:39

whether I was a teacher and a school teacher, which I was or

Janice Porter: 00:04:42

whether I was doing corporate training, I was always teaching.

Janice Porter: 00:04:45

So when I had to figure out who I was going forward, I actually

Janice Porter: 00:04:50

looked into coaching. And at that time, coaching was a very

Janice Porter: 00:04:53

new thing, and it cost 1000s and 1000s and 1000s of dollars to

Janice Porter: 00:04:58

get into it. Still. Last month a lot of money, but it was way

Janice Porter: 00:05:01

more expensive back then, and I didn't have that kind of money

Janice Porter: 00:05:04

to make that transition. But I also discovered that I don't

Janice Porter: 00:05:09

think I was a coach, because I'm a teacher and they're different.

Janice Porter: 00:05:12

Yeah, do you see super different?

Candy Motzek: 00:05:14

Yeah, very different, yeah. And for me, the

Candy Motzek: 00:05:18

main difference between teaching and coaching is the teacher

Candy Motzek: 00:05:23

knows something that the student doesn't know, and you hopefully

Candy Motzek: 00:05:27

give them the most efficient, most effective way of helping

Candy Motzek: 00:05:31

them learn that thing, whereas the coach assumes that the human

Candy Motzek: 00:05:36

on the other side of the call knows enough about their life.

Candy Motzek: 00:05:40

And so the questions are evocative, you know, like, what?

Candy Motzek: 00:05:45

What question do you need to change your own perspective and

Candy Motzek: 00:05:48

look at your own life differently? And so there's a

Candy Motzek: 00:05:52

lot of similarities, but the real difference is in the I know

Candy Motzek: 00:05:56

something a teacher, I know something that you don't know,

Candy Motzek: 00:06:00

and I can help you. Whereas the coach says, you know something

Candy Motzek: 00:06:04

and you don't know and you can figure this out, and I'm here

Candy Motzek: 00:06:07

with you.

Janice Porter: 00:06:07

That's, that's the best description I've heard

Janice Porter: 00:06:10

in a long time of the two different things, and it makes

Janice Porter: 00:06:13

so much sense, absolutely and and also, what else I've noticed

Janice Porter: 00:06:19

in the times that I've spent talking to you recently is you

Janice Porter: 00:06:22

have the best demeanor for a coach. You're so calm and so

Janice Porter: 00:06:28

level, not,

Candy Motzek: 00:06:31

yeah, thank you. Gosh, that's a I really

Candy Motzek: 00:06:33

appreciate the compliment, and it's funny because on I'm a, I

Candy Motzek: 00:06:39

don't know how to describe it. I'm used to being calm, you

Candy Motzek: 00:06:43

know, like old corporate land, when things get really crazy,

Candy Motzek: 00:06:47

the leader needs to, like, take a breath, yeah, catch your

Candy Motzek: 00:06:50

breath. Don't jump, don't react, respond, support your team. And

Candy Motzek: 00:06:55

I think I learned that. And so that's a lot of my calm

Candy Motzek: 00:06:59

demeanor. I am a relatively calm person, but I don't always feel

Candy Motzek: 00:07:04

calm inside. And I think that that's really important, that we

Candy Motzek: 00:07:07

know that even though somebody's outside looks calm and together,

Candy Motzek: 00:07:12

it has nothing to do with what's going on on the inside of them,

Candy Motzek: 00:07:16

right? So

Janice Porter: 00:07:17

that's an interesting theory there.

Janice Porter: 00:07:19

Because what if you know you're playing it out with your job or

Janice Porter: 00:07:26

with just life, or with your relationships that you're in,

Janice Porter: 00:07:30

and you're giving that the other people around you, the

Janice Porter: 00:07:33

appearance of your you got it all together, and it's calm, and

Janice Porter: 00:07:37

you're calm. It's funny, because I'm thinking about this, this

Janice Porter: 00:07:40

show I'm watching, which is called the bear, I don't know,

Janice Porter: 00:07:45

yeah, and it's about a chef and the whole all the people and the

Janice Porter: 00:07:50

restaurant and everything. And they're all like, tight, tight

Janice Porter: 00:07:54

as a drum, because there's so much stress, and, you know, and

Janice Porter: 00:07:57

yet, some of them are gliding that surface of the calmness,

Janice Porter: 00:08:02

and so when you're you're giving that person, giving off that

Janice Porter: 00:08:07

persona, and you're dying inside, or you're so wound up

Janice Porter: 00:08:11

inside that can't be good, right? No,

Candy Motzek: 00:08:14

it's not. And I think that there's a there's a

Candy Motzek: 00:08:16

difference in it. It might be like, there's sort of three

Candy Motzek: 00:08:19

scenarios. One is that you are feeling calm and the outside

Candy Motzek: 00:08:23

matches the inside. And then other times, maybe you're not

Candy Motzek: 00:08:28

feeling calm inside, but you can you have enough emotional

Candy Motzek: 00:08:31

regulation to take a breath and say, Okay, well, I'm feeling

Candy Motzek: 00:08:34

these feelings inside, but that doesn't mean that I need to make

Candy Motzek: 00:08:39

them have an impact. It's not the best way for us to solve

Candy Motzek: 00:08:44

this problem or to come together or have that conversation. And

Candy Motzek: 00:08:48

then there's other times when you're not feeling calm on the

Candy Motzek: 00:08:51

outside, and you're just like, that's it. I'm not doing this.

Candy Motzek: 00:08:55

And you go postal, essentially, right? Yeah, the place that it's

Candy Motzek: 00:09:00

great for us to be aware is just because we're feeling it doesn't

Candy Motzek: 00:09:06

mean we need to express it, but that doesn't mean that we're not

Candy Motzek: 00:09:09

acknowledging that's how we feel, you know? So when just

Candy Motzek: 00:09:13

back to thinking about burnout, one of the things that I really

Candy Motzek: 00:09:16

noticed about burnout is that I was numb. So not only did I look

Candy Motzek: 00:09:20

calm, but I was like, flat, right? And there is a real

Candy Motzek: 00:09:24

difference between that. So if you're numb, okay, now you're

Candy Motzek: 00:09:29

out of touch, but if you're aware, oh, I'm feeling nervous.

Candy Motzek: 00:09:33

You know, like my butterflies always go before a podcast

Candy Motzek: 00:09:37

interview. I might be feeling nervous, but I can take a deep

Candy Motzek: 00:09:41

breath, and I can look at you on the other side of the screen and

Candy Motzek: 00:09:44

know we're going to have a conversation. So yeah,

Janice Porter: 00:09:47

so let's talk about your clients for a minute,

Janice Porter: 00:09:51

because you coach people who are they might be new coaches and.

Janice Porter: 00:10:00

Um, who have come from the same kind of situation as you have

Janice Porter: 00:10:03

some, you know, similar in that they've had Burnet, they've left

Janice Porter: 00:10:07

corporate, or they're thinking about leaving corporate, and

Janice Porter: 00:10:10

they might be doing something on the side, and I might just add

Janice Porter: 00:10:13

in here, and you jump in as when you hear, when you want to hear,

Janice Porter: 00:10:18

is that there's a lot of people today calling themselves

Janice Porter: 00:10:21

coaches, and they're not necessarily coaches, like

Janice Porter: 00:10:25

certified coaches, and I know I'm thinking of someone that is

Janice Porter: 00:10:30

that came from corporate, and she just, she's just rolled into

Janice Porter: 00:10:35

being a coach. She's certified, and she did everything while she

Janice Porter: 00:10:38

was still at the company, and now she's just rocking and

Janice Porter: 00:10:42

rolling it on her own. And in fact, she might be good person

Janice Porter: 00:10:44

for your podcast. I just thought about that, and but there's a

Janice Porter: 00:10:49

lot of people out there. They don't know what to do. They

Janice Porter: 00:10:53

don't know where to start, and that's where you come in. Do

Janice Porter: 00:10:55

they find you? Or do you find them? First of all, most

Candy Motzek: 00:10:59

of the time, they find me. And so just back to

Candy Motzek: 00:11:02

this, people who decide to be a coach, but maybe don't

Candy Motzek: 00:11:08

necessarily take training. So we already talked a little bit

Candy Motzek: 00:11:11

about the difference between the trainer and the coach. And then

Candy Motzek: 00:11:14

there's sort of two other roles that I think kind of come into

Candy Motzek: 00:11:18

play here, the one of mentor, you know? So, right? Mentor is a

Candy Motzek: 00:11:21

little bit different. Again. It says, I've been there and I can

Candy Motzek: 00:11:26

guide you. And then consultant. Consultant says, Give me all

Candy Motzek: 00:11:29

your stuff. I'll create a solution and hand you the

Candy Motzek: 00:11:32

solution. So there is a lot of people where they may not be a

Candy Motzek: 00:11:37

trained coach, but they may be one of these other roles, and it

Candy Motzek: 00:11:41

may be very effective, but there's no regulation in the

Candy Motzek: 00:11:45

industry right now, right?

Janice Porter: 00:11:46

But wait a second, don't call me a co don't

Janice Porter: 00:11:48

call yourself a coach. If that's not what you are, that's what,

Candy Motzek: 00:11:51

yeah, you know what? I used to get myself

Candy Motzek: 00:11:54

really wound up about that too, but I realized that I can't

Candy Motzek: 00:11:57

control what anybody else calls themselves, and if they want to

Candy Motzek: 00:12:00

call themselves cells, chocolate milk or a puppy, I mean, so be

Candy Motzek: 00:12:04

it, right? But there is no regulation. So the people that I

Candy Motzek: 00:12:08

work with, we've taken training, we've practiced, we've had

Candy Motzek: 00:12:12

oversight. We know coaching skills, which is very different,

Candy Motzek: 00:12:17

and we call ourselves coaches. Other people in the world are

Candy Motzek: 00:12:21

going to call themselves a coach. Eventually, at some point

Candy Motzek: 00:12:25

in time, there will be some kind of regulation, and at that

Candy Motzek: 00:12:29

point, well, then, then things will have to change. Sorry, but

Candy Motzek: 00:12:33

then you had another question for me. I just wanted to dive in

Candy Motzek: 00:12:36

on that, because I think it's really important for people to

Candy Motzek: 00:12:39

know that is some Yeah, some coaches are not coaches, yeah.

Candy Motzek: 00:12:42

And so if you're looking at engaging a coach to help with

Candy Motzek: 00:12:47

anything, you might want to see if they've actually got coach

Candy Motzek: 00:12:50

training in addition to their life training and their life

Candy Motzek: 00:12:53

skills,

Janice Porter: 00:12:54

right? And I think that, you know, I have,

Janice Porter: 00:12:57

I've always said that, you know, I can mentor people. I've got

Janice Porter: 00:13:00

the Wisdom, I've got the experience, I've been through it

Janice Porter: 00:13:04

all. So now let me help you, but it's not I would never be a

Janice Porter: 00:13:07

coach. I would never call myself a coach, because I'm not a

Janice Porter: 00:13:09

coach. But yeah, so the second piece we I was talking about was

Janice Porter: 00:13:13

you said that your clients find you. So are they in various

Janice Porter: 00:13:18

stages when they find you? Have they decided they want to be a

Janice Porter: 00:13:21

coach, or are they just still in burnout mode? Yeah,

Candy Motzek: 00:13:26

so some of them are in thinking mode where

Candy Motzek: 00:13:28

they're like, Ah, this coaching thing sounds interesting. They

Candy Motzek: 00:13:31

find me in that stage. They find me in I've decided this is

Candy Motzek: 00:13:35

something that I'd like to do, and I'm in the middle of

Candy Motzek: 00:13:37

training. I talk to people then and then also others who are

Candy Motzek: 00:13:42

finished their training and have made a start, and they're just

Candy Motzek: 00:13:45

like, Well, I really want to do this, but it's not as easy as I

Candy Motzek: 00:13:48

thought, and I've got some challenges, and I need some

Candy Motzek: 00:13:52

help. So sort of three different ways that people kind of

Candy Motzek: 00:13:57

conditions that they come to me in and they find me through all

Candy Motzek: 00:14:01

different ways. They find me on LinkedIn, they find me on my

Candy Motzek: 00:14:04

podcast. They find me on interviews, on other people's

Candy Motzek: 00:14:08

shows. I've got a book that I wrote. You know, all these

Candy Motzek: 00:14:11

different ways. The thing that's important is I try to be myself.

Candy Motzek: 00:14:16

And, you know, there's people who will find me and I am just

Candy Motzek: 00:14:19

not their flavor. That's fine. And there's people who find me

Candy Motzek: 00:14:23

and they're like, Oh, I could talk to her. I love that, don't

Candy Motzek: 00:14:26

you? Right? I

Janice Porter: 00:14:27

love that, yeah, because enough out there for all

Janice Porter: 00:14:29

of us. We just have to number one, you know, if you're, for

Janice Porter: 00:14:33

example, using LinkedIn, because I have to put this plug in here,

Janice Porter: 00:14:36

because you just gave me that opening, is that if your

Janice Porter: 00:14:39

LinkedIn speaks to who you are and who your audience is, they

Janice Porter: 00:14:44

will attract the right people, and then it usually works. But

Janice Porter: 00:14:47

if there's no, you know, there's nothing to hook me into that

Janice Porter: 00:14:51

might be my person. Quite often it isn't. So, you know, it's

Janice Porter: 00:14:55

kind of fun to to to explore that and and. Find the right

Janice Porter: 00:15:00

people. So what would you say is your ideal client Like, who do

Janice Porter: 00:15:10

you love to work with the most? Which stage are they at?

Candy Motzek: 00:15:14

Yeah, so the people that I love to work with

Candy Motzek: 00:15:17

the most are the ones that are in the middle of their personal

Candy Motzek: 00:15:20

development before they become a coach. So they are people who

Candy Motzek: 00:15:25

are successful, hard workers, ambitious, and they know

Candy Motzek: 00:15:30

something's not quite right in their life. And so they're doing

Candy Motzek: 00:15:34

that personal exploration. I love working with those people

Candy Motzek: 00:15:37

to begin with, and then many of them go, Oh yes, I want, now

Candy Motzek: 00:15:43

that I've experienced coaching, I want to be able to do that

Candy Motzek: 00:15:47

also

Janice Porter: 00:15:48

and and usually I would expect, but I'm not going

Janice Porter: 00:15:51

to assume, but I would expect that they're coming from the the

Janice Porter: 00:15:56

idea that they, like I said, they've got the Wisdom in the

Janice Porter: 00:15:59

field they were In, or how to how to be a good leader, and

Janice Porter: 00:16:05

they just were in the wrong environment, or the corporate

Janice Porter: 00:16:09

thing just gets to be too much after a while, or whatever,

Janice Porter: 00:16:12

right?

Candy Motzek: 00:16:13

Yeah, definitely,

Janice Porter: 00:16:14

especially today, yeah.

Candy Motzek: 00:16:17

I really feel for the people in corporate. I think

Candy Motzek: 00:16:20

that you can have a great career, but I'm not sure that

Candy Motzek: 00:16:23

it's a lifetime career anymore. That's just my opinion.

Janice Porter: 00:16:27

I well it, yeah, it isn't, I don't think, but

Janice Porter: 00:16:31

depends. I don't want to get into it, but I see people being

Janice Porter: 00:16:35

poor leaders that are leading my people, like my daughter, who

Janice Porter: 00:16:39

need strong leaders to teach them and guide them moving

Janice Porter: 00:16:44

forward. And instead, she hates her job and she hates her boss,

Janice Porter: 00:16:48

you know. So it's just and yet you can't leave. You're making

Janice Porter: 00:16:51

good money and, you know, you're anyway. So it's very frustrating

Janice Porter: 00:16:56

to say what

Candy Motzek: 00:16:56

you're saying. I mean, that's not, it's not an

Candy Motzek: 00:16:59

isolated incident. There's 1000s, hundreds of 1000s of

Candy Motzek: 00:17:03

people in that, in that scenario, and it's tough,

Janice Porter: 00:17:07

yeah, yeah, but I guess because everybody's

Janice Porter: 00:17:10

struggling to survive, right? And okay, so that brings me,

Janice Porter: 00:17:15

actually, to

Janice Porter: 00:17:19

the you

Janice Porter: 00:17:20

help your clients get unstuck and feel more confidence and

Janice Porter: 00:17:25

clarity, so that you know they can see the forest for the

Janice Porter: 00:17:29

trees, so to speak, they can see whether they're what they can do

Janice Porter: 00:17:33

to better themselves in their situation or move or Get the

Janice Porter: 00:17:38

confidence to move to another situation. So have you gone

Janice Porter: 00:17:43

through, like, the actual transition with clients, where

Janice Porter: 00:17:46

they've left corporate while you're Yeah,

Candy Motzek: 00:17:49

yeah, yeah, yes. And it's very for me, it's super

Candy Motzek: 00:17:57

rewarding. Oh, I'm sure, mainly, and it's not the leaving

Candy Motzek: 00:18:02

corporate, like some of them become coaches and stay where

Candy Motzek: 00:18:04

they are, or shift within their company. You know, they get they

Candy Motzek: 00:18:07

choose the right path for them, but the thing that's the most

Candy Motzek: 00:18:10

rewarding is that they become more of who they're supposed to

Candy Motzek: 00:18:13

be, right? And that's the part in my bio where I think coaching

Candy Motzek: 00:18:17

is a calling, like there is a certain kind of person who wants

Candy Motzek: 00:18:20

to have a deep conversation to help somebody else grow in their

Candy Motzek: 00:18:24

life. And so for me, that seeing them go, you know, like they

Candy Motzek: 00:18:29

might have originally started with me, and they're a little

Candy Motzek: 00:18:33

bit hollow and a little bit tired and a little bit a lot of

Candy Motzek: 00:18:36

things, and then all of a sudden, it's like they wake up

Candy Motzek: 00:18:40

and they get their life back. That's amazing.

Janice Porter: 00:18:43

Oh yeah, it must be you just made me think of

Janice Porter: 00:18:45

something too, where you said you certain kind of person that

Janice Porter: 00:18:50

that you know likes to get have the deeper conversations and so

Janice Porter: 00:18:53

on. It reminds me, actually, of sort of a joke. But it's not in

Janice Porter: 00:18:58

that my husband will go golfing with somebody, and he'll come

Janice Porter: 00:19:02

back and say, Oh, I met this really great couple from

Janice Porter: 00:19:04

Australia that we golfed with today. And I've heard, actually,

Janice Porter: 00:19:09

comedians do this joke, but this isn't a joke. This is real life.

Janice Porter: 00:19:13

So my husband will come home and I'll say, Oh, great. I said, you

Janice Porter: 00:19:16

know, where were they from? I don't know. What were they doing

Janice Porter: 00:19:20

here, like, you know, did they? Are they here on vacation? Or,

Janice Porter: 00:19:23

you know, blah, blah, blah, I'm asking a million questions.

Janice Porter: 00:19:26

Janice, I don't know. I was just golfing with them. You spent

Janice Porter: 00:19:29

four hours with them, and you have nothing to tell me, right?

Janice Porter: 00:19:34

Yeah, that's But me, I'm five minutes. I would have had the

Janice Porter: 00:19:37

whole life history of that couple

Candy Motzek: 00:19:39

so exactly, and shown the pictures of the

Candy Motzek: 00:19:41

grandchildren and the graduations and all of these

Candy Motzek: 00:19:44

things, right? Yeah.

Janice Porter: 00:19:46

So there are people like us who like to have

Janice Porter: 00:19:49

those conversations, and can do it in the in the you know, very

Janice Porter: 00:19:54

easily. Now, yours is more controlled and more systematic,

Janice Porter: 00:19:57

because you have a strategy when your coach. Watching somebody

Janice Porter: 00:20:00

me, I'm just curious, and I just want to know more. But

Candy Motzek: 00:20:03

that's the thing, right? Like that curiosity, that

Candy Motzek: 00:20:05

is the spark of learning, and that's the spark of connection.

Candy Motzek: 00:20:08

Like, as soon as you're curious about somebody, they feel, they

Candy Motzek: 00:20:12

relax, they're like, Oh, she's not judging me. She's interested

Candy Motzek: 00:20:14

in me. There's your that's how you know, your skill at creating

Candy Motzek: 00:20:18

relationships is amazing from that,

Janice Porter: 00:20:20

that's what I love to do. Yeah, it's kind of

Janice Porter: 00:20:22

fun. So so we said we'd talk a little bit about self care, and

Janice Porter: 00:20:29

so let's do that in the sense of, like, where what were you

Janice Porter: 00:20:36

thinking? Were you thinking of the potential clients that you

Janice Porter: 00:20:40

have and how they should take or just in general, for women,

Janice Porter: 00:20:43

let's say in our age,

Candy Motzek: 00:20:45

yeah, well, I was thinking women mainly

Candy Motzek: 00:20:49

entrepreneurs and self care.

Janice Porter: 00:20:53

Let's do that, because the relationship we have

Janice Porter: 00:20:55

with ourself is so important. Exactly. Yeah, yeah, for sure.

Janice Porter: 00:20:59

Okay, so go for it. Tell me. Tell me. Okay. Look like, yeah,

Janice Porter: 00:21:04

tell me. What did that mean to you when you say we should all

Janice Porter: 00:21:08

pay attention and, you know, take care of ourselves well. You

Janice Porter: 00:21:12

and I had a little conversation before we went on air about me

Janice Porter: 00:21:15

not taking care of my knee. And that's sort of, you know, I'm

Janice Porter: 00:21:18

getting there, but that's self care in itself, right,

Candy Motzek: 00:21:21

right? And we all, we all have these things where

Candy Motzek: 00:21:24

we don't take care of ourselves. We put ourselves second or third

Candy Motzek: 00:21:27

or like, at the bottom of the list, we didn't even make the

Candy Motzek: 00:21:30

list, right? So for me, the self care, it actually starts with

Candy Motzek: 00:21:34

that question that I said earlier, like, what do I want?

Candy Motzek: 00:21:36

Right? You know, when we allow ourselves to want to feel good

Candy Motzek: 00:21:41

and to feel energized and full of energy and have a great life,

Candy Motzek: 00:21:46

there's a place of those are some clues for us for self care.

Candy Motzek: 00:21:50

Often, the things that you hear about self care they you know

Candy Motzek: 00:21:55

when you're not in a position where you're taking care of

Candy Motzek: 00:21:58

yourself, because life has happened and that's just the way

Candy Motzek: 00:22:01

it is. And then you learn what to do. You go, oh, gosh, that

Candy Motzek: 00:22:05

it's so easy. But it's not so easy when you're you know,

Candy Motzek: 00:22:09

you've put yourself down the priority list, and you have to

Candy Motzek: 00:22:12

climb your way out. So things like getting enough sleep,

Candy Motzek: 00:22:15

drinking water, eating healthy, nourishing food, move your body,

Candy Motzek: 00:22:21

get outside in nature, get some sunlight on your face, and

Janice Porter: 00:22:26

do that enough, that's for sure, and play,

Janice Porter: 00:22:29

whether

Candy Motzek: 00:22:30

that is you love to listen to music and sing

Candy Motzek: 00:22:33

along, or you love to dance in the kitchen. And so those are

Candy Motzek: 00:22:37

the things I love, also, creativity and as adult women,

Candy Motzek: 00:22:45

lots of times, we've lost that place of creativity, right? So

Candy Motzek: 00:22:49

go back to those fun things that you used to do when you were

Candy Motzek: 00:22:52

younger. Maybe you loved to paint, maybe you loved to do

Candy Motzek: 00:22:57

calligraphy, maybe you loved just a color. It doesn't matter

Candy Motzek: 00:23:01

what it is, it's that. It's not work, it's not constructive,

Candy Motzek: 00:23:06

it's play, right? That's, I think, is the biggest thing. I

Candy Motzek: 00:23:09

don't know what's your experience with play,

Janice Porter: 00:23:11

that I don't do enough of it and that. But my

Janice Porter: 00:23:15

granddaughter is teaching me in that. I've noticed that when I'm

Janice Porter: 00:23:21

with her, and she's five now, but when I'm with her, all else

Janice Porter: 00:23:26

doesn't matter, because I'm focused on what we're doing and

Janice Porter: 00:23:29

working with her, playing well, I say, working with her, playing

Janice Porter: 00:23:33

with her, but I'm often teaching, because that's what I

Janice Porter: 00:23:35

do. But she is definitely brought that to play. No pun

Janice Porter: 00:23:42

intended. More I love

Candy Motzek: 00:23:44

that. Yeah, and there's something that you said

Candy Motzek: 00:23:46

too, that I think is, is really important here, is you kind of

Candy Motzek: 00:23:49

lose track of all the other things that are going on, right?

Candy Motzek: 00:23:52

So when you're so focused and you're playing and you're being

Candy Motzek: 00:23:55

creative and you're right present, yeah, that recharges

Candy Motzek: 00:24:00

your batteries, right?

Janice Porter: 00:24:02

Do you know Kristen Anderson? No, no, I

Janice Porter: 00:24:06

don't. Oh, she's amazing. She's all about play, and she teaches

Janice Porter: 00:24:09

people in the workplace to play. And she was on my podcast a

Janice Porter: 00:24:14

long, long time ago. I should have her come back on. Actually,

Janice Porter: 00:24:17

she's a lot of fun. She's local and but she works with a lot of

Janice Porter: 00:24:21

corporations around play, so I often see her on Facebook being

Janice Porter: 00:24:25

silly and doing stuff like that, you know, that I would never

Janice Porter: 00:24:27

find myself doing. But yeah, so she likes to have fun. And there

Janice Porter: 00:24:32

was something else I was going to say about that. Oh, no. What

Janice Porter: 00:24:40

I was going to say is I'm just going to shift the topic a

Janice Porter: 00:24:43

little bit sure, because I shared with you, before we came

Janice Porter: 00:24:47

on air, that I found an old podcast of yours about grow your

Janice Porter: 00:24:51

business with gratitude. Now I know that that's not what we

Janice Porter: 00:24:54

were totally talking about. However, I think it fits in the

Janice Porter: 00:24:58

sense that I. Uh, that is a having gratitude helps you be

Janice Porter: 00:25:06

it's a positive thing, right? Is, and I notice you have these

Janice Porter: 00:25:10

journals or books behind you, and I'm guessing they're

Janice Porter: 00:25:12

journals. And, yeah, do you? You talked about writing, and

Janice Porter: 00:25:17

actually three in this podcast, you talked about gratitude and

Janice Porter: 00:25:22

writing things down every three things every day. But what I

Janice Porter: 00:25:24

loved about it was that you actually explained, you know,

Janice Porter: 00:25:30

why we get stuck writing the same three things every day, but

Janice Porter: 00:25:34

we because we're not expanding on those things. And that was a

Janice Porter: 00:25:37

good reminder to me, I'm not very good at journaling. I've

Janice Porter: 00:25:40

I've something I've tried over the years but never stuck to, do

Janice Porter: 00:25:44

you do do you journal every day?

Candy Motzek: 00:25:46

Yes, every single day. And these poor books that

Candy Motzek: 00:25:49

are behind me right here, that's I go through about one a month.

Candy Motzek: 00:25:53

I never used to journal, but it, it journaling is one word, but

Candy Motzek: 00:25:58

it does a whole bunch of things, you know? So I either get rid of

Candy Motzek: 00:26:02

the garbage in my head. I deal with different perspectives. I

Candy Motzek: 00:26:06

might coach myself. I might plan something for my business. I

Candy Motzek: 00:26:10

might remember what to be grateful for. And I love

Candy Motzek: 00:26:13

gratitude really is a powerful it's really a powerful approach,

Candy Motzek: 00:26:18

right? Like totally. It's in the it's in the detail that we feel

Candy Motzek: 00:26:24

the gratitude. So, you know, like you were saying, you could

Candy Motzek: 00:26:27

go to bed every night and say, What three things am I grateful

Candy Motzek: 00:26:30

for? Oh, my house, my you know relationships, and you know that

Candy Motzek: 00:26:35

it's summer, but it doesn't there's no connection, right?

Candy Motzek: 00:26:38

There's no connection to your emotions into your life, but

Candy Motzek: 00:26:42

when it's like my health, because I've just gotten over

Candy Motzek: 00:26:46

the flu, and now I'm starting to feel like myself or my health,

Candy Motzek: 00:26:50

because I made a great salad tonight, and I just feel so good

Candy Motzek: 00:26:55

and clean. Now you've got something that hangs on to

Candy Motzek: 00:26:58

right, and I think that's where it really matters. Yeah,

Janice Porter: 00:27:01

that's good. And do you incorporate journal

Janice Porter: 00:27:06

writing with your clients? Do you encourage them to do that?

Candy Motzek: 00:27:10

Yes, yeah, this is something that is part of the

Candy Motzek: 00:27:14

thing I recommend everybody do. And so there's a particular

Candy Motzek: 00:27:19

format that I recommend, but it's always starting small,

Candy Motzek: 00:27:23

because to go from never journaling to writing and

Candy Motzek: 00:27:28

writing and writing is just too big of a jump, right with two

Candy Motzek: 00:27:32

minutes a day, a little bit, and all you have to do is start with

Candy Motzek: 00:27:35

that place where you go what's on my mind right now, and you

Candy Motzek: 00:27:38

just write about it, and that's it for two minutes. You do that

Candy Motzek: 00:27:41

for a few days, and you start to build that habit. I've had

Candy Motzek: 00:27:46

clients that maybe I've worked with them for a year or two

Candy Motzek: 00:27:50

years, and in the first month, we talk about journaling, and I

Candy Motzek: 00:27:54

tell them what to do, and then I remind them every month for a

Candy Motzek: 00:27:59

long time. And because it takes, it takes, right? And then 18

Candy Motzek: 00:28:04

months later, they're saying to me, you know, the best thing

Candy Motzek: 00:28:07

that I've ever learned is this journaling habit, boy, you

Candy Motzek: 00:28:10

should really do more of this journaling habit. And I love it

Candy Motzek: 00:28:13

because it means that it's, they've taken it and made it

Candy Motzek: 00:28:16

theirs, right? They've created the way that works for them. But

Candy Motzek: 00:28:19

it just, it doesn't happen overnight. So when

Janice Porter: 00:28:24

people journal on a daily basis, I'm curious about

Janice Porter: 00:28:27

this, do you go back and read what you've written, or do you

Janice Porter: 00:28:31

just, is it just about getting it down out of your head?

Candy Motzek: 00:28:34

It's different. There's different ways. So

Candy Motzek: 00:28:37

sometimes I go back like I'm working on a particular approach

Candy Motzek: 00:28:42

right now around this is one of the books by Dr Benjamin Hardy.

Candy Motzek: 00:28:47

10x is easier than 2x so I have this vision of my 10x self, and

Candy Motzek: 00:28:52

it's completely impossible to achieve this thing that I have

Candy Motzek: 00:28:55

in my imagination. But I spend every day a few minutes dreaming

Candy Motzek: 00:29:00

and saying, let's pretend. Let's pretend that it actually

Candy Motzek: 00:29:04

happened. And then write about that those ones, I go and I

Candy Motzek: 00:29:08

reread. But if I've just woken up on the wrong side of the bed

Candy Motzek: 00:29:11

and I'm feeling grumpy and all that, then I'm just going to be

Candy Motzek: 00:29:15

like, Oh, what's bothering me right now? And I write a list of

Candy Motzek: 00:29:19

all the things that are bothering me, those ones I don't

Candy Motzek: 00:29:22

go back and look at, right? So it's, you know, super

Janice Porter: 00:29:25

those in the same book. Are they? Yeah, okay,

Janice Porter: 00:29:29

yeah.

Candy Motzek: 00:29:29

I'll just like, whatever is the mood of the day.

Candy Motzek: 00:29:32

That's what, that's what I'm doing. I

Janice Porter: 00:29:33

love journals. I love the whole idea of them, but

Janice Porter: 00:29:37

I can't, maybe I'll try again, because I like the idea. I just

Janice Porter: 00:29:41

the funny thing is, over the years, my handwriting used to be

Janice Porter: 00:29:45

wonderful. Now it's not.

Candy Motzek: 00:29:47

I've heard that, as you get more intelligent,

Candy Motzek: 00:29:49

your handwriting is so that's right, perfect. I'm

Janice Porter: 00:29:53

taking that one with me. I love it. Okay, all

Janice Porter: 00:29:56

right, this has been so great. So I've got two last questions

Janice Porter: 00:29:59

for you. The first. One is that you may already know this, but

Janice Porter: 00:30:05

curiosity is one of my favorite words, and I love that whole

Janice Porter: 00:30:09

concept of curiosity. And this is a two part question that I

Janice Porter: 00:30:13

like to ask most of my guests, if I'm feeling it and I'm

Janice Porter: 00:30:16

feeling it today. So first part is, do you believe that

Janice Porter: 00:30:19

curiosity is innate or learned, and part two is, what are you

Janice Porter: 00:30:24

most curious about these days yourself?

Candy Motzek: 00:30:28

So I believe that curiosity is innate, and then we

Candy Motzek: 00:30:33

unlearn it, and then we relearn it. That's my that's my thought.

Candy Motzek: 00:30:37

I get kind of hardened and cynical, you know, when we're

Candy Motzek: 00:30:40

living that adult life from, say, 20 to 3540, unless we're

Candy Motzek: 00:30:46

we've never lost that sort of gift of curiosity. Sometimes

Janice Porter: 00:30:50

it can be, I think, lost in school. Yeah,

Janice Porter: 00:30:54

yeah. You know, I swear one of my daughters never had a teacher

Janice Porter: 00:30:58

that inspired her, Oh, her whole high school years, and I think

Janice Porter: 00:31:04

that made a huge difference. Now she didn't like school, but she

Janice Porter: 00:31:09

was a great athlete, and so that kind of kept her going. My other

Janice Porter: 00:31:13

daughter would argue if she got a B plus, because it wasn't an

Janice Porter: 00:31:17

A. So she loved learning in school, right? So I think it

Janice Porter: 00:31:21

depends. But yeah, that's that's fine. I mean, there's no wrong

Janice Porter: 00:31:24

answer. People believe what they believe. So thank you for your

Janice Porter: 00:31:28

your take on that. And what are you most curious about?

Candy Motzek: 00:31:31

What am I most curious about these days? I love

Candy Motzek: 00:31:36

that question. I'm always most curious about people and what

Candy Motzek: 00:31:43

makes them tick, and, you know, like, how they got to be who

Candy Motzek: 00:31:49

they are, what's going on in their life, and and there's

Candy Motzek: 00:31:56

something about it's hard to describe. It kind of goes back

Candy Motzek: 00:32:00

to that thing about why I love coaching is I'm always curious

Candy Motzek: 00:32:04

about what's the thing that kind of relights that spark in their

Candy Motzek: 00:32:07

eyes. It's, you know, like we might be talking, and then all

Candy Motzek: 00:32:10

of a sudden, it's there. It's like, oh, there it is. They just

Candy Motzek: 00:32:12

woke up. What was that? Yeah, super curious about that. Super

Candy Motzek: 00:32:17

curious about people and just what, what makes them not just

Candy Motzek: 00:32:24

happy, but fulfilled and satisfied? You know, happy is so

Candy Motzek: 00:32:28

fleeting, but fulfilled is a big deal.

Janice Porter: 00:32:32

I would think that you have to be a really

Janice Porter: 00:32:35

observant person, but also a very if this makes sense, an

Janice Porter: 00:32:41

observant listener, an activist, but an observant right, like,

Janice Porter: 00:32:45

just totally Yeah, so, and that's a real skill in itself.

Janice Porter: 00:32:50

Just for fun. Do you know what the anagram of listen is?

Candy Motzek: 00:32:54

Silent,

Janice Porter: 00:32:55

yeah. Isn't that brilliant?

Candy Motzek: 00:32:56

Yeah. I love it. I know.

Janice Porter: 00:32:58

I just something that comes to me once in a

Janice Porter: 00:33:01

while. I used to teach listening as one of the skills to in

Janice Porter: 00:33:06

customer service that I used to teach at our at corporate when I

Janice Porter: 00:33:11

was at the telephone company, and I did this day long training

Janice Porter: 00:33:14

for customer service people, and listening was part of it. So,

Janice Porter: 00:33:18

yeah, it always came from a book I read about listening, and I

Janice Porter: 00:33:20

never forgot it ever anyway, I digress. Last question, what's

Janice Porter: 00:33:27

your best piece of advice that you would like to share with my

Janice Porter: 00:33:29

audience about whatever you want to do with your business,

Janice Porter: 00:33:36

whatever

Candy Motzek: 00:33:38

I think the best piece of advice about business

Candy Motzek: 00:33:41

and with your audience is that it's not just okay for you to

Candy Motzek: 00:33:49

build a business that's reflective of you and who you

Candy Motzek: 00:33:52

really are and what you really want, but it's imperative,

Candy Motzek: 00:33:56

because that's the business that wants to be created through you.

Candy Motzek: 00:34:01

So so often, it's easy to sign up with a coach or a trainer who

Candy Motzek: 00:34:08

says, do my five steps and it will work. But those five steps

Candy Motzek: 00:34:14

are fine, but they're maybe not exactly your flavor, exactly

Candy Motzek: 00:34:18

your value system. So take that extra bit of time and really

Candy Motzek: 00:34:22

check inside and make sure that the thing that you're creating

Candy Motzek: 00:34:26

really speaks to you. There's lots of people who create

Candy Motzek: 00:34:29

businesses that are not fulfilling, so just give

Candy Motzek: 00:34:32

yourself permission to want what you want and to create the way

Candy Motzek: 00:34:36

that you want to make it.

Janice Porter: 00:34:38

Yeah, that's great advice, actually, because

Janice Porter: 00:34:39

there's so many people out there daily selling us stuff, and we

Janice Porter: 00:34:42

get caught up in in something that sounds good for the minute,

Janice Porter: 00:34:48

and now it's so easy to buy. Yeah, we haven't thought it

Janice Porter: 00:34:52

through. So we need to stop and look, is it really the right fit

Janice Porter: 00:34:55

for us? That's amazing. Thank you. You've been an amazing

Janice Porter: 00:34:58

guest. You. You. Gave us some great strategies and skills, and

Janice Porter: 00:35:04

I got to know you a little bit better, and that's always

Janice Porter: 00:35:07

special for me. So thank you for being here, and thank you to my

Janice Porter: 00:35:11

audience again for your loyalty and for being here. And please,

Janice Porter: 00:35:15

if you like what you've heard, please leave a review. We'd love

Janice Porter: 00:35:18

to hear them. And you can find candy on her website at

Candy Motzek: 00:35:24

step into success. Now.com is my website, and I

Candy Motzek: 00:35:28

have a free gift for anybody. It is at Candy's free gift.com

Janice Porter: 00:35:35

perfect, and I will put those on the show

Janice Porter: 00:35:38

notes. And I appreciate again you being here and again,

Janice Porter: 00:35:43

remember to stay connected and be remembered. You.