Self-Awareness and Style that Moves Business Forward | RR317

Janice Porter: 00:00:00

Dan, hello, hello, and welcome to this

Janice Porter: 00:00:04

week's episode of relationships rule. This week is going to be

Janice Porter: 00:00:09

different, because I have a dynamic duo with me today, and

Janice Porter: 00:00:12

I'm quite excited about it today. We're going to be talking

Janice Porter: 00:00:15

about a kind of relationship we often overlook the one we have

Janice Porter: 00:00:18

with ourselves Joining me are Danielle Moore and Shelby

Janice Porter: 00:00:22

iloria, co founders of Black Sheep Co, a company that

Janice Porter: 00:00:26

empowers individuals to reclaim their voice, rediscover their

Janice Porter: 00:00:30

path, and redefine success on their own terms through their

Janice Porter: 00:00:35

work in brand strategy and personal identity, Danielle and

Janice Porter: 00:00:38

Shelby guide people to step into their full selves, flaws, quirks

Janice Porter: 00:00:42

and all, and turn what makes them different into their

Janice Porter: 00:00:45

greatest asset. In this episode, we'll explore how embracing your

Janice Porter: 00:00:49

black sheep identity can actually be the most powerful

Janice Porter: 00:00:52

move you make in life and business. Welcome, welcome,

Shelby Eloria: 00:00:57

thank you for having us My

Janice Porter: 00:00:59

pleasure so we're not visual for most people. So

Janice Porter: 00:01:06

I'm going to say Danielle is the blonde of the duo, and Shelby is

Janice Porter: 00:01:13

the brunette of the duo, and they both have distinct

Janice Porter: 00:01:18

personalities, and hopefully those will come out as we chat

Janice Porter: 00:01:21

today. So first of all, you describe Black Sheep at Black

Janice Porter: 00:01:27

Sheep CO as a place for people to reclaim their voice. What

Janice Porter: 00:01:30

does that mean to you personally? And I think I would

Janice Porter: 00:01:32

ask both of you that question. So whoever wants to go first,

Janice Porter: 00:01:35

maybe say who you are first, so that people will know as we go

Janice Porter: 00:01:38

through

Shelby Eloria: 00:01:41

Awesome. Well, Shelby here what it means to me.

Shelby Eloria: 00:01:45

It's really there's parts of us that we over time, we tend to

Shelby Eloria: 00:01:48

hide or we push down or we overlook because it doesn't

Shelby Eloria: 00:01:52

match the plan that we've created, or what we're what

Shelby Eloria: 00:01:55

we're building in our lives. And so those little parts of who we

Shelby Eloria: 00:01:59

are, we tend to just be like, Oh, it doesn't matter. Or how I

Shelby Eloria: 00:02:03

often like to call it is, I learned that good girls stay

Shelby Eloria: 00:02:06

small, and there was parts of my own personality that I kept down

Shelby Eloria: 00:02:11

and small, even though I felt I had this big vision and these

Shelby Eloria: 00:02:16

grand dreams. And I think that that's what to me, what black

Shelby Eloria: 00:02:19

sheep is all about. It's reconnecting with who you are

Shelby Eloria: 00:02:23

inside, and giving that a voice in what you do and how you

Shelby Eloria: 00:02:28

approach your life.

Janice Porter: 00:02:30

Perfect. Danielle, over to you, I don't

Janice Porter: 00:02:34

know how to follow that up. Shall we say?

Danielle Mohr: 00:02:36

Sure, you do, but, but as a writer, yeah, I

Danielle Mohr: 00:02:38

think giving voice to those parts of us that we don't often

Danielle Mohr: 00:02:42

give voice to, is so important. And one of the interesting

Danielle Mohr: 00:02:47

things about our relationship with ourselves is that we are

Danielle Mohr: 00:02:52

constantly evolving, and so being able to have an outlet and

Danielle Mohr: 00:02:57

have a voice for ourselves as things change, I think, is

Danielle Mohr: 00:03:00

really important as well as we develop and grow and being able

Danielle Mohr: 00:03:04

to communicate that to others so that they can support us on our

Danielle Mohr: 00:03:09

journey.

Janice Porter: 00:03:10

Beautiful. See you did just just so I do have

Janice Porter: 00:03:15

to ask where the concept of Black Sheep originated and why

Janice Porter: 00:03:18

it was the right symbol for your brand. So who wants to start

Janice Porter: 00:03:21

there with that one? I'll let

Danielle Mohr: 00:03:23

Danielle go for this. Okay, so we Shelby and I

Danielle Mohr: 00:03:27

will, first of all, we call ourselves non romantic life

Danielle Mohr: 00:03:30

partners. Say that one more time, non romantic life

Danielle Mohr: 00:03:35

partners, okay, yes,

Janice Porter: 00:03:37

Eff, really, right? And yes,

Danielle Mohr: 00:03:41

we do a lot of things together. So we do

Danielle Mohr: 00:03:43

personal development together travel. We do business together.

Danielle Mohr: 00:03:49

It's just kind of all encompassing. And so that's

Danielle Mohr: 00:03:52

where the life partners piece comes in, and and a lot of what

Danielle Mohr: 00:03:56

we do is traveling together. So a couple of years ago, we

Danielle Mohr: 00:04:00

traveled to Shelby's family cottage in Quebec, and it was,

Danielle Mohr: 00:04:04

it's a really special place for Shelby, and it was really cool

Danielle Mohr: 00:04:07

for me to be able to go and experience and you know, see why

Danielle Mohr: 00:04:11

it's important to her. And so we went, just the two of us, in

Danielle Mohr: 00:04:15

September, it was kind of rainy and cold for part of it, and so

Danielle Mohr: 00:04:19

the one day we were huddled in the family cabin under blankets

Danielle Mohr: 00:04:25

and just cold, and we were trying to kind of distract

Danielle Mohr: 00:04:27

ourselves from from the cold. And we decided there was someone

Danielle Mohr: 00:04:32

had left a little stack of cards, little deck of cards,

Danielle Mohr: 00:04:36

that's like a conversation starter, and it was all about

Danielle Mohr: 00:04:39

your family. So it was like, Really, just talking about, you

Danielle Mohr: 00:04:42

know, your family, how you grew up. And it was really

Danielle Mohr: 00:04:45

interesting. We had some really cool conversations. What we

Danielle Mohr: 00:04:48

realized through that conversation was that both of

Danielle Mohr: 00:04:52

us, at times, felt like the black sheep in our family. And

Danielle Mohr: 00:04:57

this conversation kind of spiraled into, wow, I. That a

Danielle Mohr: 00:05:00

lot of people feel this way in their lives, not necessarily

Danielle Mohr: 00:05:04

even in their families, but you can feel like the black sheep at

Danielle Mohr: 00:05:07

work in social situations in your family. There's so many

Danielle Mohr: 00:05:13

areas where this can happen, and then it's so interesting,

Danielle Mohr: 00:05:17

because it's actually, you know, we think of it as I'm the only

Danielle Mohr: 00:05:22

one and I'm the odd one out. But everyone you know, we were

Danielle Mohr: 00:05:26

talking about our siblings, and we thought, you know, a lot of

Danielle Mohr: 00:05:30

our siblings probably feel that way in some aspects as well. So

Danielle Mohr: 00:05:33

it's more broad and applies to more people than you think. And

Danielle Mohr: 00:05:37

so we wanted to create something where we can speak to those

Danielle Mohr: 00:05:42

people who are feeling that way and help them embrace that piece

Danielle Mohr: 00:05:47

of themselves, rather than trying to kind of tuck it away

Danielle Mohr: 00:05:50

and and hide it.

Janice Porter: 00:05:53

So it made me think when you were talking

Janice Porter: 00:05:57

about how one person may think they are different from the rest

Janice Porter: 00:06:04

of their family or their friends or whatever in their class or

Janice Porter: 00:06:07

wherever they're they're experiencing this, but it's not

Janice Porter: 00:06:10

necessarily so it's their perception of themselves versus

Janice Porter: 00:06:15

the perception that other people have. So it, I would think, can

Janice Porter: 00:06:20

be kind of a opening Pandora's box in a way, because right you

Janice Porter: 00:06:28

don't The reason someone feels that way could be pretty deep,

Janice Porter: 00:06:32

but you don't know that until you start working with them. So

Janice Porter: 00:06:35

how do you guys sort of handle that when you're working with

Janice Porter: 00:06:39

people? Because, you know, you're not psychologists. And

Janice Porter: 00:06:43

I'm not saying it to be right. So speak to me on that.

Shelby Eloria: 00:06:48

Well, one of the things our main program that we

Shelby Eloria: 00:06:51

have is called authentic, you right? Six week program that we

Shelby Eloria: 00:06:55

take individuals through. And one thing we say up front is

Shelby Eloria: 00:06:59

that we are not psychologists. And if, if you feel through this

Shelby Eloria: 00:07:04

process, some some traumatic feelings or things that you do

Shelby Eloria: 00:07:08

need more help with, we are happy to connect them with a

Shelby Eloria: 00:07:12

psychologist. So we make it very clear that that's not our

Shelby Eloria: 00:07:15

purpose,

Janice Porter: 00:07:16

right? It's more personal growth. And in, yes,

Shelby Eloria: 00:07:19

okay, exactly, exactly, and then the other part

Shelby Eloria: 00:07:22

of it, because I agree, it is like Pandora's box, because

Shelby Eloria: 00:07:25

there's so many parts of who we are and facets of who we are.

Shelby Eloria: 00:07:29

And one of the things that we go through in this six weeks is we

Shelby Eloria: 00:07:34

identify, Okay, yeah, there might be all these parts that

Shelby Eloria: 00:07:37

are results you don't like in your life and things you want to

Shelby Eloria: 00:07:41

tackle. However, we say, choose one. Choose one to start with,

Shelby Eloria: 00:07:45

because then it's not so overwhelming, and sometimes that

Shelby Eloria: 00:07:49

that then can help alleviate some of the others. When you

Shelby Eloria: 00:07:53

choose one, and we say, this is, this is a journey. It's a growth

Shelby Eloria: 00:07:56

journey, and you may want to take it again and again to

Shelby Eloria: 00:08:00

tackle some of those so we feel it ourselves, and we have felt

Shelby Eloria: 00:08:04

it ourselves, and therefore we definitely address that right up

Shelby Eloria: 00:08:08

front.

Janice Porter: 00:08:09

Okay, that's so how has embracing your own black

Janice Porter: 00:08:14

sheepness or your own differences shaped your

Janice Porter: 00:08:17

relationships in business and beyond?

Danielle Mohr: 00:08:21

I think that one of the greatest things you can

Danielle Mohr: 00:08:26

do is just embrace who you are. I think a lot of people just

Danielle Mohr: 00:08:30

spend so long kind of fighting, fighting against it, right, and

Danielle Mohr: 00:08:34

trying to fit in and doing what we're told. Shelby mentioned the

Danielle Mohr: 00:08:38

good girl mentality, you know? I think it's especially true for

Danielle Mohr: 00:08:41

women. I mean, we handle, we serve women and men, and they

Danielle Mohr: 00:08:47

have great results, but women in particular, you know, we kind of

Danielle Mohr: 00:08:50

get ingrained into these roles and what we're supposed to do,

Danielle Mohr: 00:08:55

and Shelby and I have gone in our personal lives in a bit of a

Danielle Mohr: 00:08:59

different direction than we even thought, you know, than what we

Danielle Mohr: 00:09:03

had planned. And so it's really about figuring out who you are

Danielle Mohr: 00:09:09

and and what's important to you outside of some of these

Danielle Mohr: 00:09:13

external things that we're we're always faced with, and just

Danielle Mohr: 00:09:17

trying to navigate our own path and block out some of those,

Danielle Mohr: 00:09:22

those external factors, which they're always going to come

Danielle Mohr: 00:09:26

back into play, and you're going to have to deal with them. But,

Danielle Mohr: 00:09:29

you know, separating that outside world and saying, Okay,

Danielle Mohr: 00:09:31

here's me and here's what I really want.

Janice Porter: 00:09:35

Yeah, and everyone has their own baggage,

Janice Porter: 00:09:38

whether it's nurture or or or nature kind of thing, whether

Janice Porter: 00:09:42

it's been shaped by their environment, they've they've

Janice Porter: 00:09:45

found themselves in, or put themselves in, or whether it's

Janice Porter: 00:09:49

the deep, ingrained things that came from their upbringing,

Janice Porter: 00:09:53

they're all different, right? So I'm sure that it's fascinating,

Janice Porter: 00:09:57

because everybody, everybody brings their own story. Story to

Janice Porter: 00:10:00

the table. Do you have a story yet? Because I know your

Janice Porter: 00:10:05

business isn't that old, and that's that's great. But do you

Janice Porter: 00:10:08

have any story of transformation that you've witnessed where

Janice Porter: 00:10:12

someone owning their identity has changed their their

Janice Porter: 00:10:16

trajectory, business wise or life wise?

Shelby Eloria: 00:10:20

Well, one of them for me is it's going back to

Shelby Eloria: 00:10:23

that good girls stay small. And I've really fought that for a

Shelby Eloria: 00:10:29

long time, because I had the belief that if and where it came

Shelby Eloria: 00:10:33

from, I can't really say exactly where it came from. Oddly

Shelby Eloria: 00:10:38

enough, this is an aside. Is where my sister and I actually

Shelby Eloria: 00:10:41

grew up, same family, same parents, all of that, and she

Shelby Eloria: 00:10:45

never struggled with the good girl feeling, whereas I did,

Shelby Eloria: 00:10:48

what's the age difference? Just out of curiosity, four and a

Shelby Eloria: 00:10:50

half years she's younger than that's a lot.

Janice Porter: 00:10:52

That's a lot. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Shelby Eloria: 00:10:55

And so what I found is I kept I had this big

Shelby Eloria: 00:10:59

dream that chose me when I was 16 years old, and it was that I

Shelby Eloria: 00:11:03

would be on stage in front of in a huge stadium, in front of

Shelby Eloria: 00:11:07

1000s of people as a speaker. And I, I fought it because I was

Shelby Eloria: 00:11:13

like, I, who am I to be on stage? What do I have to talk

Shelby Eloria: 00:11:18

about? What do I have to say that hasn't already been said,

Shelby Eloria: 00:11:21

and it would not leave me. The stinking dream would not leave

Shelby Eloria: 00:11:25

me. And I've I've noticed that through the plan I had, the plan

Shelby Eloria: 00:11:30

I had for my life was go to college, get a career, get

Shelby Eloria: 00:11:35

married, have kids, buy the house, go on the vacations. And

Shelby Eloria: 00:11:39

it hasn't turned out that way, and I've had to really embrace

Shelby Eloria: 00:11:43

what that looks like in my life and find out that it actually

Shelby Eloria: 00:11:47

has given me a story. It has given me something that I can

Shelby Eloria: 00:11:50

share with others. And I've I've really had to work on making my

Shelby Eloria: 00:11:56

voice heard and being comfortable with sharing that

Shelby Eloria: 00:12:00

story. It's a battle. Danielle knows it's been a battle. I've

Shelby Eloria: 00:12:04

had a lot of I just recently spoke on a stage in Mexico, and

Shelby Eloria: 00:12:09

I've really challenged myself to share a very vulnerable story of

Shelby Eloria: 00:12:14

my marriage and my journey of not becoming a mom and what that

Shelby Eloria: 00:12:20

did, and my separation, and it was really vulnerable, and it

Shelby Eloria: 00:12:24

was really hard. I fought against that however, I knew, I

Shelby Eloria: 00:12:29

knew that good girl inside of me needed to be released, and I

Shelby Eloria: 00:12:34

needed to take up that space and own it. And I felt really proud

Shelby Eloria: 00:12:40

of myself for doing it, and for starting to just own my story

Shelby Eloria: 00:12:44

and who I am. So that's that's been, for me, one of the biggest

Shelby Eloria: 00:12:48

transformations, that it's still a journey, and it's still going

Shelby Eloria: 00:12:51

to be a journey. However, up until that this point,

Janice Porter: 00:12:55

was there any time or any thought once you

Janice Porter: 00:13:01

made that decision to share that story that made you feel, or

Janice Porter: 00:13:06

that that not made you feel, but that that you thought by being

Janice Porter: 00:13:13

able to now share that you were going to help other people,

Janice Porter: 00:13:17

like, was that part of it? Did that become part of it? Or was

Janice Porter: 00:13:20

it always like, was that part of was that a light bulb moment?

Shelby Eloria: 00:13:27

It was, it was a light bulb moment. It was

Shelby Eloria: 00:13:30

interesting, because after I shared the story, I had

Shelby Eloria: 00:13:34

individuals come up to me and be like, Oh, I related because of

Shelby Eloria: 00:13:38

this, and I knew, like I've been transformed by people's stories.

Shelby Eloria: 00:13:43

So I know that when we share our stories, there's transformation

Shelby Eloria: 00:13:47

that happens, even if it's not the exact same. And what I

Shelby Eloria: 00:13:50

realized in that it was almost like it was confirmation that,

Shelby Eloria: 00:13:54

yes, Shelby, you're doing the right thing. Your story matters.

Shelby Eloria: 00:13:58

YOUR Story can impact other people. And so I don't know if I

Shelby Eloria: 00:14:03

would say it was a full light bulb, but it was almost like

Shelby Eloria: 00:14:05

this confirmation inside of me that this is, this is the right

Danielle Mohr: 00:14:09

path, right? And one of the reasons that we

Danielle Mohr: 00:14:13

choose to run group sessions in Black Sheep CO is because we

Danielle Mohr: 00:14:18

want to foster this sense of belonging, right, individuality,

Danielle Mohr: 00:14:23

but also belonging, right? You belong here, even though, even

Danielle Mohr: 00:14:28

when you feel different from other people,

Janice Porter: 00:14:31

and feeling different doesn't know isn't

Janice Porter: 00:14:34

necessarily a negative thing, it's just being that individual

Janice Porter: 00:14:37

that you are and being accepted for who you are, for sure,

Danielle Mohr: 00:14:40

yes, and just embracing it Yeah. And we had,

Danielle Mohr: 00:14:43

you know, in our in our launch group, we had just people

Danielle Mohr: 00:14:48

sharing really amazing stories and and just getting very

Danielle Mohr: 00:14:53

vulnerable. And through that, I think people were able to pick

Danielle Mohr: 00:14:58

up on different things. And. And and bring it back and apply it

Danielle Mohr: 00:15:01

to their own lives, right? So it's kind of this interesting

Danielle Mohr: 00:15:04

thing where, you know, we are all connected as people, and yet

Danielle Mohr: 00:15:09

we are so individual, and so fostering both sides of that is

Danielle Mohr: 00:15:13

really important, I think, in Black Sheep CO and really what

Danielle Mohr: 00:15:16

we want to do through the group program. So we had some people

Danielle Mohr: 00:15:20

have some, like, incredible breakthroughs in that first

Danielle Mohr: 00:15:23

session or group run, I guess it's a six program, yeah,

Janice Porter: 00:15:31

yeah. I was just gonna say, was there an age

Janice Porter: 00:15:37

average or they because you two are younger in my in my life,

Janice Porter: 00:15:42

you you would be considered younger. And do you attract the

Janice Porter: 00:15:47

people that are around your age, or did they come from different

Janice Porter: 00:15:51

age groups and walks of life?

Danielle Mohr: 00:15:53

Yeah, they came from very different age groups.

Danielle Mohr: 00:15:55

But I want to say, you know, generally it's people around

Danielle Mohr: 00:15:59

like 40 to 60 who are starting to think about this, I think a

Danielle Mohr: 00:16:05

lot of what we a lot of people we work with end up coming to us

Danielle Mohr: 00:16:10

because they're in some kind of transition phase. So they're

Danielle Mohr: 00:16:13

transitioning

Janice Porter: 00:16:14

out of a role, looking for something into

Danielle Mohr: 00:16:17

something new, exactly, and so like retirement

Danielle Mohr: 00:16:20

or empty nesters, or new careers, new businesses, those

Danielle Mohr: 00:16:25

kind of things really spark that change, because you start to see

Danielle Mohr: 00:16:28

yourself differently, and you need to evolve, and you need to

Danielle Mohr: 00:16:31

have clarity around that. And that's really what authentic you

Danielle Mohr: 00:16:35

provides, is clarity around the direction you're going, where

Danielle Mohr: 00:16:39

you've been and where you are right now.

Janice Porter: 00:16:42

Love it. That's great. Why do you think, and I'm

Janice Porter: 00:16:47

gonna say in business, in this instance, why do you think

Janice Porter: 00:16:50

people resist being fully themselves? What gets in the

Janice Porter: 00:16:53

way?

Shelby Eloria: 00:16:56

I think it's this feeling of I should be a certain

Shelby Eloria: 00:17:00

way. So Danielle and I, we, there are certain things that we

Shelby Eloria: 00:17:05

do differently. We're we're different. And one, one example

Shelby Eloria: 00:17:09

that I always make it relates to people, is

Janice Porter: 00:17:13

she knows what you're going to say, right?

Janice Porter: 00:17:15

Yeah.

Shelby Eloria: 00:17:19

She does is this idea that you have to wake up

Shelby Eloria: 00:17:22

early at 5am to be a good business owner? Oh yeah, I wake

Shelby Eloria: 00:17:26

up at 5am typically, I just naturally do. That's the way my

Shelby Eloria: 00:17:30

body is. Danielle doesn't.

Janice Porter: 00:17:33

Neither do I. Danielle,

Danielle Mohr: 00:17:36

we're on the same page. Oh yeah. And

Shelby Eloria: 00:17:39

Danielle's tried, Danielle has definitely tried to

Shelby Eloria: 00:17:41

do it, and there's just something to celebrate that we

Shelby Eloria: 00:17:45

are different in that. And that's a really cool thing that

Shelby Eloria: 00:17:49

we can work together on. Obviously, there's other things,

Shelby Eloria: 00:17:52

but that's just a very simple example that in business, you

Shelby Eloria: 00:17:55

don't have to be something that doesn't align with who you are.

Janice Porter: 00:18:01

You know that that rings such a bell with me.

Janice Porter: 00:18:03

For four years I was part of a BNI group, and this was 12 years

Janice Porter: 00:18:09

ago. This is a long time ago, and I was part of a BNI group

Janice Porter: 00:18:13

that met at seven o'clock every morning, every week, one

Janice Porter: 00:18:16

Wednesday morning. But in order to be at that meeting at seven

Janice Porter: 00:18:19

o'clock, and in order to get the value that I needed to get, I

Janice Porter: 00:18:23

wanted to be the the welcome host, okay, so that I got to

Janice Porter: 00:18:28

meet the guests, and I got to network with those people,

Janice Porter: 00:18:30

really, every time I had to be there at 630 which meant I had

Janice Porter: 00:18:35

to find a parking spot too at 615 which meant it took me half

Janice Porter: 00:18:40

an hour to get there, and I had to get dressed and look

Janice Porter: 00:18:43

presentable before that. So every week, on Tuesday night, I

Janice Porter: 00:18:48

would have an anxiety attack because I had to get up so early

Janice Porter: 00:18:52

the next morning, then the meeting would be, I'd be on my

Janice Porter: 00:18:56

you know, full stop. I'd be the best greeter and all of that

Janice Porter: 00:19:00

good stuff. But by the next morning, I had a migraine.

Janice Porter: 00:19:03

Thursday morning I was useless. I had a migraine every week, and

Janice Porter: 00:19:07

it took me four years to to then say, You know what, why am I

Janice Porter: 00:19:10

doing this? This does not sit right with who I am. And ever

Janice Porter: 00:19:15

since I left that group, when somebody says, Can you meet at

Janice Porter: 00:19:20

730 or can you do a breakfast? No, I cannot. I don't do it

Janice Porter: 00:19:24

anymore. So I fought that for a very long time, and I'm like,

Janice Porter: 00:19:28

why? That's not who I am, and I think that's what you're saying

Janice Porter: 00:19:31

in in a way. So I truly lived that myself, and I can't, I

Janice Porter: 00:19:36

can't do that anymore. No, thanks.

Danielle Mohr: 00:19:38

I was laughing as you were talking, because I had

Danielle Mohr: 00:19:40

exactly the same experience. Janice, I exactly the same,

Danielle Mohr: 00:19:44

except when I started, I would actually book nap time

Janice Porter: 00:19:50

after I can't nap. That's the problem.

Danielle Mohr: 00:19:53

Okay, okay, well, that was my that was my relief

Danielle Mohr: 00:19:57

for it. You know, it's about knowing your. Yourself enough,

Danielle Mohr: 00:20:00

just those boundaries, right? And just say, I'm not meeting at

Danielle Mohr: 00:20:03

7am I'm not at my best. You're not going to get my best. So why

Danielle Mohr: 00:20:07

would I subject you to that? How about this instead, and just

Danielle Mohr: 00:20:13

allowing people to allow that in themselves, right? Permission.

Danielle Mohr: 00:20:16

Shelby talks a lot about giving yourself permission, and I

Danielle Mohr: 00:20:20

think, and I

Janice Porter: 00:20:21

think that's what we did, exactly. And since,

Janice Porter: 00:20:25

since COVID, the world opened up. And I have a lot of clients

Janice Porter: 00:20:29

in different areas of the world, like Australia and England. And

Janice Porter: 00:20:34

like, somebody messaged me today and said, Oh, I've scheduled

Janice Porter: 00:20:37

this for CWT or whatever, that central European cet time. I

Janice Porter: 00:20:42

don't know what time that is. I have to go figure that out now.

Janice Porter: 00:20:46

But if it doesn't align, I'm not doing it. Yeah, it just, it's

Janice Porter: 00:20:51

just the way it is. I'm too old to worry about it anymore. So

Janice Porter: 00:20:54

there you go. I get to do what I want to do. And I think that's

Janice Porter: 00:20:57

so does that also come into play that you see people gain

Janice Porter: 00:21:02

confidence. Does that happen as well to owning who they are, and

Janice Porter: 00:21:06

then they gain confidence because they're allowing it?

Shelby Eloria: 00:21:11

Yeah, yeah, exactly gay. The people that

Shelby Eloria: 00:21:15

we've seen go through our program is, you see that

Shelby Eloria: 00:21:19

confidence of, Oh, it's okay for me to be this way. Oh, I'm I am

Shelby Eloria: 00:21:25

allowed to feel this way. And it can feel very scary, because

Shelby Eloria: 00:21:29

it's like, well, if I let this part of myself out, is that

Shelby Eloria: 00:21:33

going to ruin everything I've created? Yeah, and the, the

Shelby Eloria: 00:21:38

beautiful thing is, it's about learning what that is, and then

Shelby Eloria: 00:21:41

figuring out, how do you create that in the life that you have?

Shelby Eloria: 00:21:45

And it doesn't have to be that you have to blow up your entire

Shelby Eloria: 00:21:48

life to be yourself. It's start with understanding yourself, and

Shelby Eloria: 00:21:53

then how do you make that work within the life that you've

Shelby Eloria: 00:21:55

created? For some people, it will be blowing up your life.

Shelby Eloria: 00:21:58

Most people It won't be

Janice Porter: 00:21:59

right, right. Okay, so I've got a couple of

Janice Porter: 00:22:03

questions here around kind of fits into what the other part of

Janice Porter: 00:22:07

your world, because you both have companies of your own, as

Janice Porter: 00:22:10

well as the company you have together, which right away tells

Janice Porter: 00:22:15

me that you're true entrepreneurs, because that's

Janice Porter: 00:22:18

what happens. So how do identity, self image and

Janice Porter: 00:22:22

personal style influence? No, I'll read this again. How do

Janice Porter: 00:22:26

identity, self image and personal style influence the way

Janice Porter: 00:22:31

we build professional relationships?

Shelby Eloria: 00:22:33

That is a great question. So I am also an image

Shelby Eloria: 00:22:37

consultant. I have a image consulting personal styling

Shelby Eloria: 00:22:39

business, and that is a really big I've seen that personal

Shelby Eloria: 00:22:44

identity part of it. I'm really big on aligning who you are with

Shelby Eloria: 00:22:49

what you wear. And when you create that alignment, that's

Shelby Eloria: 00:22:52

where the impact can really happen in your life. And I've

Shelby Eloria: 00:22:56

seen this over and over in the style clients I've worked with,

Shelby Eloria: 00:22:59

is what they really want, is they want to feel like

Shelby Eloria: 00:23:03

themselves and who they are in what they wear. And I see that

Shelby Eloria: 00:23:08

as soon as someone starts wearing something that feels

Shelby Eloria: 00:23:11

like them, they show up differently. So you see this in

Shelby Eloria: 00:23:14

business meetings, is when someone starts wearing something

Shelby Eloria: 00:23:18

that feels like them, even though they may have thought

Shelby Eloria: 00:23:21

they could never wear it like, oh, that that's not for me.

Shelby Eloria: 00:23:23

That's for someone else, but now they have this confidence that

Shelby Eloria: 00:23:26

someone told me that I can wear this, and this is who I am, and

Shelby Eloria: 00:23:30

I feel like a 10 out of 10 in this they're going to show up to

Shelby Eloria: 00:23:33

that networking meeting and be like so on fire, because they

Shelby Eloria: 00:23:39

feel like themselves in what they're wearing. And I love it.

Shelby Eloria: 00:23:41

And it's not that you have to wear a suit or anything like

Shelby Eloria: 00:23:44

that. It's just simply who you are. And I mean, I could talk

Shelby Eloria: 00:23:48

for hours about all the different types of styles, but

Shelby Eloria: 00:23:50

that's really it's that individuality and that who you

Shelby Eloria: 00:23:55

are. And I met someone recently. He loves to wear really wild

Shelby Eloria: 00:23:59

suits. That's who he is. And I saw how he lit up when he talked

Shelby Eloria: 00:24:03

about it. And I'm like, that's amazing. Do it? Keep doing it?

Shelby Eloria: 00:24:06

Because that's what

Janice Porter: 00:24:07

lights you up well. And do you want to add to

Janice Porter: 00:24:09

anything? Derek, Danielle,

Danielle Mohr: 00:24:12

I mean, as as, yeah, as a client of Shelby. I

Danielle Mohr: 00:24:16

mean, it makes all the difference, right? You work walk

Danielle Mohr: 00:24:18

into a networking room completely differently if you're

Danielle Mohr: 00:24:21

comfortable in what you're wearing and and it can make, it

Danielle Mohr: 00:24:25

can make a big difference in in building relationships, right?

Danielle Mohr: 00:24:28

And talking about relationships like it gives you that that

Danielle Mohr: 00:24:32

confidence boost to go out there as an introvert. For me do a

Danielle Mohr: 00:24:36

networking event, and, you know, actually talk to people and

Danielle Mohr: 00:24:39

really connect with them. So,

Shelby Eloria: 00:24:41

right? And I have one more thing on that is I had

Shelby Eloria: 00:24:46

a client where he's an accountant. He was told, you

Shelby Eloria: 00:24:49

have to wear a suit. And so when we talk about I asked him, and

Shelby Eloria: 00:24:53

he didn't want to, and I asked him, I'm like, Well, who are

Shelby Eloria: 00:24:55

your ideal clients, right? And he said, owners of construction

Shelby Eloria: 00:24:59

company. And I said, Well, if you show up in a three piece

Shelby Eloria: 00:25:02

suit to meet with them, what's going to happen? And he's like,

Shelby Eloria: 00:25:05

they're going to laugh at me and kick me out. So you can't build

Shelby Eloria: 00:25:08

that relationship. So you in business, you really want to

Shelby Eloria: 00:25:11

think about who is your client, who are you trying to connect

Shelby Eloria: 00:25:15

with, and your people, who are your people? Yeah, so that makes

Shelby Eloria: 00:25:20

a big difference as

Janice Porter: 00:25:21

well. Yeah, it's funny. When I was getting

Janice Porter: 00:25:23

dressed this morning, I was thinking about you because I'd

Janice Porter: 00:25:26

watched a little clip of something you had done with

Janice Porter: 00:25:30

somebody who used to be a broadcaster. Yeah, yeah. And

Janice Porter: 00:25:34

you're talking about, you know, what you should wear on camera

Janice Porter: 00:25:36

and stuff. And I gotta tell you, this is hysterical, because I

Janice Porter: 00:25:39

never wear prints. I always wear plain. And there was just

Janice Porter: 00:25:43

something today I felt like I wanted to, I liked this neck,

Janice Porter: 00:25:46

and I wanted to wear this top. And then I thought, Oh, God, is

Janice Porter: 00:25:50

is Shelby going to think that, you know, because I get that

Janice Porter: 00:25:54

image consultant piece in my head, because I worked with one

Janice Porter: 00:25:57

for many years, myself and and sometimes it just, but anyway,

Janice Porter: 00:26:01

it's not really busy here, so I think I'm okay. But

Shelby Eloria: 00:26:04

yeah, no, you're okay. You don't have that tiny

Shelby Eloria: 00:26:06

like, the thing is, with really tiny patterns, it makes. Oh,

Shelby Eloria: 00:26:09

thanks. No, you're you're good.

Janice Porter: 00:26:11

Oh, great. Okay. Next question, Danielle, from a

Janice Porter: 00:26:15

brand strategy and writing standpoint, what's the business

Janice Porter: 00:26:19

case for leaning into your uniqueness.

Danielle Mohr: 00:26:23

Well, I think the biggest thing that I'm finding

Danielle Mohr: 00:26:25

right now is that we're so inundated with messages all the

Danielle Mohr: 00:26:30

time, and a lot of it is just information, and what what

Danielle Mohr: 00:26:34

people are can actually connect with is stories. And a lot of

Danielle Mohr: 00:26:38

business owners entrepreneurs are a little hesitant to share

Danielle Mohr: 00:26:42

their own stories, and so one of the things that I'm doing in a

Danielle Mohr: 00:26:47

program that I've created called Lean marketing Lab, which is

Danielle Mohr: 00:26:49

basically teaching entrepreneurs, you know, giving

Danielle Mohr: 00:26:53

them a plug and play system to to tell their story and use use

Danielle Mohr: 00:26:59

tools like AI to do it. Well, okay, in that program, you know,

Danielle Mohr: 00:27:04

the focus is really on the storytelling and getting them

Danielle Mohr: 00:27:09

kind of out of their comfort zone with telling those stories.

Danielle Mohr: 00:27:12

Because I think a lot of people, and I know Shelby struggles with

Danielle Mohr: 00:27:15

this as a speaker, too, you kind of feel like your story is

Danielle Mohr: 00:27:18

insignificant, right? Right? People out there with these big

Danielle Mohr: 00:27:22

stories, and it's dramatic, and it's like, it's not about the

Danielle Mohr: 00:27:27

content of the story, sometimes, as much as how you tell the

Danielle Mohr: 00:27:31

story. And so that's what I'm trying to incorporate, get

Danielle Mohr: 00:27:33

people to incorporate into their marketing, their branding is,

Danielle Mohr: 00:27:36

you know, what personal stories do you bring to this? What you

Danielle Mohr: 00:27:40

know, why does it matter to you? Because if you can say why it

Danielle Mohr: 00:27:44

matters to you, then it will matter to someone else. So

Janice Porter: 00:27:48

I've never heard it said that way. That's really

Janice Porter: 00:27:50

good, because I'm one of those people who think I listen to

Janice Porter: 00:27:54

these, you know, big, grandiose stories that people tell, and I

Janice Porter: 00:27:58

think, God, that's so I don't have a story like that. So, you

Janice Porter: 00:28:03

know, why would anybody care? But is, are you saying that it's

Janice Porter: 00:28:07

more about the, the presentation of it, or, just like the it's

Janice Porter: 00:28:15

not embellishing it so much as as putting the heart into

Danielle Mohr: 00:28:18

it exactly, exactly, and, yeah. And, I mean,

Danielle Mohr: 00:28:22

it's not presentation, is I mean, obviously, I'm a writer. I

Danielle Mohr: 00:28:25

like the technical aspects of, you know, telling a story well

Danielle Mohr: 00:28:28

and doing it correctly. And there's stories, sure, there's

Danielle Mohr: 00:28:30

all these different things that go into it, but really, yeah,

Danielle Mohr: 00:28:33

it's about putting the heart into it, right? And and having

Danielle Mohr: 00:28:37

these connection points and this relatability, where people are

Danielle Mohr: 00:28:41

like, Oh yeah, you know, Shelby talked about her her speech, and

Danielle Mohr: 00:28:44

people related to it in very different ways. And just giving

Danielle Mohr: 00:28:49

people an opportunity through that storytelling to connect in

Danielle Mohr: 00:28:54

some way is the important piece, I think, right? So you're not

Danielle Mohr: 00:28:57

just telling a story at someone and like you said, you're not

Danielle Mohr: 00:29:00

embellishing. It doesn't have to be dramatic. It doesn't matter.

Danielle Mohr: 00:29:03

You know, like, we get fascinated on social media by

Danielle Mohr: 00:29:06

people who are just going about their every day, right? But

Danielle Mohr: 00:29:09

they're telling a story about it. They're, I know they're

Danielle Mohr: 00:29:11

making it relatable, and that's what we love,

Janice Porter: 00:29:14

yeah, okay, fair enough. All right, I think you

Janice Porter: 00:29:20

can each answer this one if, and I think this will be the last

Janice Porter: 00:29:23

one around, last question around the black sheep Cohen. Then I

Janice Porter: 00:29:26

got a couple of quick questions for you before we wrap up. If

Janice Porter: 00:29:29

being the black sheep is a superpower. What's the first

Janice Porter: 00:29:33

step in learning how to use it?

Shelby Eloria: 00:29:38

I think the first step is acknowledging it okay,

Shelby Eloria: 00:29:42

and acknowledging that it is part of who you are, and looking

Shelby Eloria: 00:29:49

for ways to use it in your life.

Danielle Mohr: 00:29:53

Perfect. I would agree, acknowledging it for me,

Danielle Mohr: 00:29:58

a lot of things come. Down to awareness and just being more

Danielle Mohr: 00:30:03

aware of yourself and how you relate to the world and how you

Danielle Mohr: 00:30:07

relate to others. And once you have the awareness piece, then

Danielle Mohr: 00:30:13

you can start to think about what you're going to do with it.

Danielle Mohr: 00:30:16

Right? Like, a lot of times it's like, we want to just jump right

Danielle Mohr: 00:30:19

into change and be like, Okay, I'm going to be this person. I'm

Danielle Mohr: 00:30:23

going to do this and, you know, this big, dramatic change, I

Danielle Mohr: 00:30:26

totally Shelby is laughing at me, because I totally have a

Danielle Mohr: 00:30:28

tendency to do that. So what I have to do, and what I think

Danielle Mohr: 00:30:31

other people have to do, is really slow down, take it back a

Danielle Mohr: 00:30:35

step, and just ask some questions. And that's what

Danielle Mohr: 00:30:39

Shelby and I are really good at, is asking people questions that

Danielle Mohr: 00:30:42

get them thinking differently about who they are and how they

Danielle Mohr: 00:30:45

relate to the world and then what they want that to look

Danielle Mohr: 00:30:47

like.

Janice Porter: 00:30:49

Now, now I have to ask another question. See, I

Janice Porter: 00:30:51

just got another question, and that that is when you work in

Janice Porter: 00:30:55

your what's it called? Your course? Sorry. Authentic. You

Janice Porter: 00:31:00

authentic you? Do you each take different components of it, or

Janice Porter: 00:31:04

do you feed off each other during the the the program

Shelby Eloria: 00:31:09

I have primarily been leading it, and then we

Shelby Eloria: 00:31:13

have Danielle pop in to to kind of add stories, or add, you

Shelby Eloria: 00:31:20

know, different components of it. So that's what we've done so

Shelby Eloria: 00:31:23

far.

Janice Porter: 00:31:24

Yeah? Because you're the speaker, you're the

Janice Porter: 00:31:25

one that wants to be on stage, and you're looking at it and

Janice Porter: 00:31:28

writing the stuff and putting it in, I can tell now, yeah,

Janice Porter: 00:31:32

putting it into, yeah, we have

Danielle Mohr: 00:31:33

a good, we have a good, yeah, yeah, I do. I do

Danielle Mohr: 00:31:36

some teaching as well, and we're gonna, we're just about to

Danielle Mohr: 00:31:39

launch a memoir course, so I'll be, I'll be teaching that one,

Danielle Mohr: 00:31:42

but this one was kind of Shelby's brain child, and it

Danielle Mohr: 00:31:46

came out of, you know, our eight years of kind of exploring

Danielle Mohr: 00:31:51

personal development and personal growth and just putting

Danielle Mohr: 00:31:54

it all together into A process that guides people without,

Danielle Mohr: 00:32:01

without making them feel like they have to do it this way, or,

Danielle Mohr: 00:32:05

you know, we're rebels. We don't like being told what to do. And

Danielle Mohr: 00:32:08

like, like Shelby said, we do things differently, and so we've

Danielle Mohr: 00:32:11

had to adapt things. You know, we can read the same book and go

Danielle Mohr: 00:32:15

about getting the results we want from it very differently,

Janice Porter: 00:32:18

differently. All right, couple of quick fire

Janice Porter: 00:32:20

questions, how do you get your how do you best like to get your

Janice Porter: 00:32:24

own information, like by reading or by video or by audio,

Janice Porter: 00:32:28

whatever? Shelby,

Shelby Eloria: 00:32:30

I listen to a lot of audio books and non fiction

Shelby Eloria: 00:32:34

audio books, and that's where I get a lot of my info. Okay,

Shelby Eloria: 00:32:37

Danielle,

Danielle Mohr: 00:32:38

I think that's Shelby. I don't know. That's a

Danielle Mohr: 00:32:40

shallow answer for you. Shelby is always looking for

Danielle Mohr: 00:32:43

information like she everywhere she finds conversations,

Danielle Mohr: 00:32:47

networking,

Janice Porter: 00:32:50

curious one audio, oh, yeah, she's

Danielle Mohr: 00:32:52

absolutely a curious mind. So, I mean, yeah,

Danielle Mohr: 00:32:55

you listen to a lot of audio books, but I think that yeah

Unknown: 00:32:59

is a little too shallow.

Danielle Mohr: 00:33:01

I also prefer audio which is kind of funny,

Danielle Mohr: 00:33:04

but I read a lot in a day in terms of reading words. So for

Danielle Mohr: 00:33:08

me, I prefer audio podcasts. Audio books are a big one for

Danielle Mohr: 00:33:12

me, and then, yeah, networking, I love one on one conversations

Danielle Mohr: 00:33:15

with people and asking those questions. Okay,

Janice Porter: 00:33:19

perfect. And curiosity, innate or learned?

Janice Porter: 00:33:25

Danielle, you go first.

Danielle Mohr: 00:33:27

Oh, for me, totally, totally innate. Yeah,

Danielle Mohr: 00:33:29

since I was a kid, like books. Books for me is where I satisfy

Danielle Mohr: 00:33:33

what

Janice Porter: 00:33:34

are you reading right now?

Danielle Mohr: 00:33:36

Oh, what am I reading right now? I you know

Danielle Mohr: 00:33:38

what? I've done, this thing where I started reading, like

Danielle Mohr: 00:33:40

six books at once, so all kinds of stuff, business wise, right

Danielle Mohr: 00:33:44

now, Shelby and I are actually rereading 10x is easier than 2x

Danielle Mohr: 00:33:48

Oh, okay, a

Janice Porter: 00:33:49

classic for us. Yeah, I haven't read that one.

Janice Porter: 00:33:51

What's his name?

Shelby Eloria: 00:33:54

John Sullivan and Benjamin Hardy. Hardy? Oh,

Shelby Eloria: 00:33:57

that's

Janice Porter: 00:33:57

not the one I was thinking of. Okay, I was

Janice Porter: 00:33:59

thinking of the guy from the 10x but, but I've heard that that

Janice Porter: 00:34:02

book that you're reading is really good, and Dan Sullivan is

Janice Porter: 00:34:04

amazing. So yeah, okay, cool, Shelby, curiosity, innate or

Janice Porter: 00:34:09

learned? I

Shelby Eloria: 00:34:11

feel like, for myself, it's a little bit of

Shelby Eloria: 00:34:13

both. I think it was innate, however, the what I learned was

Shelby Eloria: 00:34:17

that to good girls, stay small, and my I really quelched My

Shelby Eloria: 00:34:22

curiosity for a long time. I didn't see myself as a curious

Shelby Eloria: 00:34:25

person, I would say, until the last decade, when I started to

Shelby Eloria: 00:34:28

realize, Oh, I am curious. I do want to know these things. So I

Shelby Eloria: 00:34:32

think it's a little bit of both for Okay, and what

Janice Porter: 00:34:35

are you reading or learning about right now?

Janice Porter: 00:34:37

What are you curious about right now?

Shelby Eloria: 00:34:39

I am reading a book called The Seven

Shelby Eloria: 00:34:41

frequencies of communication. I just started. A friend had

Shelby Eloria: 00:34:44

recommended it to me, and she's been telling me she's like,

Shelby Eloria: 00:34:47

Shelby, you'll love this, you'll love this. And so far, I'm only

Shelby Eloria: 00:34:50

on chapter two. I am fascinated by it because it talks about

Shelby Eloria: 00:34:55

those stories we tell ourselves and how we communicate with

Shelby Eloria: 00:34:58

ourselves.

Janice Porter: 00:34:59

Fantastic. Fantastic. You guys have been

Janice Porter: 00:35:01

great. I really enjoyed talking to you both, and I hope my

Janice Porter: 00:35:06

audience will explore some of the work that you're doing,

Janice Porter: 00:35:09

because I think any anybody in business and anybody that's

Janice Porter: 00:35:14

cares about growing themselves can benefit from the work that

Janice Porter: 00:35:18

you're doing. I think that you guys remind us that the

Janice Porter: 00:35:22

relationship we have with ourselves forms the foundation

Janice Porter: 00:35:25

for every other connection that we build in life and business.

Janice Porter: 00:35:28

When we have the courage to own our story, embrace our quirks

Janice Porter: 00:35:32

and show up fully, it changes the game. Whether you're

Janice Porter: 00:35:35

rebranding, rebuilding or simply rethinking how you show up in

Janice Porter: 00:35:39

the world, maybe it's time to let your black sheep shine. So

Janice Porter: 00:35:43

thanks for listening to relationships rule. Thanks for

Janice Porter: 00:35:46

being here Shelby and Danielle. And if today's conversation

Janice Porter: 00:35:51

resonated with you, please share it with someone who needs a

Janice Porter: 00:35:54

reminder that who they are is more than enough.

Shelby Eloria: 00:35:57

Thank you guys, amazing. Thanks for having us.

Shelby Eloria: 00:36:00

Well. Said. My pleasure. You.