Breakthroughs for the Overwhelmed Brain with Barb Hubbard | RR313

Janice Porter: 00:00:02

Bob, Hello everyone, and welcome to this

Janice Porter: 00:00:05

week's episode of relationships rule on today's episode, I'm

Janice Porter: 00:00:10

joined by Barb Hubbard, a coach, ADHD specialist and educator

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with over 30 years experience helping people understand their

Janice Porter: 00:00:18

unique brain wiring and to how to take meaningful action. Barb

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works with solopreneurs and high achieving professionals who may

Janice Porter: 00:00:30

be neurodivergent, overwhelmed or just plain stuck through her

Janice Porter: 00:00:34

signature blend of EFT tapping and brain friendly coaching, she

Janice Porter: 00:00:39

helps people quit chasing squirrels and start chasing

Janice Porter: 00:00:43

their dreams, which happens to be the name of her book as well,

Janice Porter: 00:00:47

which I love. Today, we're going to explore how the relationship

Janice Porter: 00:00:51

you build with your own mind and the right kind of support can be

Janice Porter: 00:00:54

the key to unlocking clarity, confidence and lasting progress.

Janice Porter: 00:00:59

So welcome to the show. Barb,

Barb Hubbard: 00:01:02

thank you so much for having me.

Janice Porter: 00:01:04

You're You're very welcome. Barb, you're in

Janice Porter: 00:01:06

San Diego, if I correct, right? Yes, sunny San Diego. Is it nice

Janice Porter: 00:01:11

down there? Right now,

Barb Hubbard: 00:01:12

San Diego today is actually a little bit cloudy,

Barb Hubbard: 00:01:15

but that's okay. We don't get many cloudy days, right?

Janice Porter: 00:01:19

Right? We get a lot of them here anyway. So I'm

Janice Porter: 00:01:23

curious, because I know we both, we, when we met briefly, had a

Janice Porter: 00:01:28

chat a few days ago and discovered that we were both

Janice Porter: 00:01:32

former teachers, and I know for you, you were an elementary

Janice Porter: 00:01:36

teacher and then you were a high school teacher. That, to me, was

Janice Porter: 00:01:40

No, you weren't. No, no, high school just Oh, I thought, I

Janice Porter: 00:01:43

thought I saw that you were sometime, somewhere along the

Janice Porter: 00:01:46

line. I thought, how could you be? I couldn't do that. I could

Janice Porter: 00:01:49

not do the high school thing. So okay, my apologies. But what I

Janice Porter: 00:01:53

am curious about is what inspired you to to leave

Janice Porter: 00:01:57

teaching and get into ADHD coaching and EFT tapping. That's

Janice Porter: 00:02:02

That's curious for me.

Barb Hubbard: 00:02:04

Yeah, the the jump, there aren't a lot of

Barb Hubbard: 00:02:07

teachers turned entrepreneurs were kind of hard to find. So

Barb Hubbard: 00:02:11

yeah, you know what I what I found was I had been teaching

Barb Hubbard: 00:02:15

for about 20 years. There were a couple years off here and there

Barb Hubbard: 00:02:19

when I had kids and so forth. But I needed to change. I was at

Barb Hubbard: 00:02:26

a pivotal point where I needed to decide, either I stick with

Barb Hubbard: 00:02:30

this for 15 more years, or I jump into something new. And

Barb Hubbard: 00:02:36

when I decided, okay, this is it I need. I need something new.

Barb Hubbard: 00:02:41

The coaching was interesting to me. I had had a coach. I it just

Barb Hubbard: 00:02:48

was something that I thought, you know, this might be

Barb Hubbard: 00:02:50

something that I can do. I've always been someone who people

Barb Hubbard: 00:02:54

come to, for someone to listen to, someone to give advice,

Barb Hubbard: 00:02:58

someone to talk things through. And I did a little research, and

Barb Hubbard: 00:03:03

I discovered ADHD coaching was a thing I had no idea. And I had

Barb Hubbard: 00:03:09

worked with lots and lots of families over the years of

Barb Hubbard: 00:03:13

teaching whose kids had ADHD and other learning issues, autism,

Barb Hubbard: 00:03:20

various things. I thought, Okay, well, I could do that. So I

Barb Hubbard: 00:03:25

jumped in, and I took a whole training program, a year long

Barb Hubbard: 00:03:29

training program, to be certified as an ADHD coach. And

Barb Hubbard: 00:03:33

initially I did work with parents. So it was very, a very

Barb Hubbard: 00:03:37

natural transition, right? Like I had been working with parents

Barb Hubbard: 00:03:40

as a teacher. Now I'm working with parents as a coach, but

Barb Hubbard: 00:03:45

through just some some kind of serendipitous kinds of things, I

Barb Hubbard: 00:03:50

started meeting some women, meeting friends who were saying,

Barb Hubbard: 00:03:55

I don't know if I have ADHD, but I'm distracted. I'm unfocused,

Barb Hubbard: 00:04:01

I'm overwhelmed. I you know, can you help me with that? And so

Barb Hubbard: 00:04:06

that led to six of my seven years of coaching, being with

Barb Hubbard: 00:04:11

women who are often entrepreneurs, and they are

Barb Hubbard: 00:04:16

distracted and unmotivated and all those things

Janice Porter: 00:04:20

well. And that's what also made me curious about

Janice Porter: 00:04:23

wanting to talk to you, because I feel like that's me, and I

Janice Porter: 00:04:26

don't feel that I wasn't always ADHD, I didn't always get as

Janice Porter: 00:04:34

distracted as I do the in as I have in the last few years. And

Janice Porter: 00:04:38

I don't know why. Partly, I wonder if it's because back in

Janice Porter: 00:04:45

my youth, things were so simple. I mean, you didn't have all

Janice Porter: 00:04:49

these online distractions. You had books and you had teachers

Janice Porter: 00:04:54

and, you know, and you had stories that were passionate.

Janice Porter: 00:05:00

Down and things like that. I mean, I feel really ancient, but

Janice Porter: 00:05:03

on the at the same time, there wasn't that much distraction.

Janice Porter: 00:05:06

You had a path that you were going on. Now, I am so curious a

Janice Porter: 00:05:12

person innately, that everything distracts me. Oh, this guy looks

Janice Porter: 00:05:20

good. I think I'll go follow what he's doing. Oh, I like what

Janice Porter: 00:05:22

she had to say. I'm gonna go deeper. I can't do it all, yeah,

Barb Hubbard: 00:05:27

yeah. So true, yeah. But my, my own personal

Barb Hubbard: 00:05:31

theory, is, is twofold. I think that you're spot on with one

Barb Hubbard: 00:05:35

part of it is that we have so much information at our

Barb Hubbard: 00:05:39

fingertips, and curious people are going to go down this rabbit

Barb Hubbard: 00:05:44

hole. You know what? I'm interested in this too. I'm

Barb Hubbard: 00:05:47

going to go down that rabbit hole. So I think that that is a

Barb Hubbard: 00:05:50

part of it. We have also, you know, 20 different notifications

Barb Hubbard: 00:05:55

coming in all at once in any given hour, right? So that

Barb Hubbard: 00:05:59

wasn't true when we were younger. And I do believe that

Barb Hubbard: 00:06:03

things were simpler. I also think that in terms of ADHD

Barb Hubbard: 00:06:09

diagnoses, we're just getting better at diagnosing this for

Barb Hubbard: 00:06:14

women, especially women, you know, in their 40s, 50s, 60s.

Barb Hubbard: 00:06:19

Okay, so,

Janice Porter: 00:06:20

so I have to ask you, then, does it matter that

Janice Porter: 00:06:24

you get diagnosed or not? Because, as you know, as a

Janice Porter: 00:06:29

parent and a grandparent, and I look at my little granddaughter,

Janice Porter: 00:06:33

who is very hyperactive, she gets distracted easily and but

Janice Porter: 00:06:37

she's also very obsessive, so big deal. That's just the way

Janice Porter: 00:06:42

she learns, and that's the way she so we have to, as teachers

Janice Porter: 00:06:45

and parents and grandparents learn to to help her in the ways

Janice Porter: 00:06:51

that will help her, so to speak, right? So does it matter? Do we

Janice Porter: 00:06:55

need these labels? We never had them when I was a kid, right?

Janice Porter: 00:06:59

Sure, sure. It's

Barb Hubbard: 00:07:00

a great question, a valid question. I think labels

Barb Hubbard: 00:07:05

help when you are trying to figure out where to go to for

Barb Hubbard: 00:07:10

support. Okay, fair enough for kids. So you know, speaking to

Barb Hubbard: 00:07:15

what you just described, your granddaughter goes through,

Barb Hubbard: 00:07:18

right if, if she needs more support in writing, in reading,

Barb Hubbard: 00:07:23

in occupational therapy, those kinds of things, the labels will

Barb Hubbard: 00:07:28

be helpful to get her that support right. So that's that's

Barb Hubbard: 00:07:31

one piece of it. But as adults, it's 5050. Of the people that I

Barb Hubbard: 00:07:38

meet, many people want the label because that helps them

Barb Hubbard: 00:07:42

understand themselves better.

Janice Porter: 00:07:44

Well, I feel as though, if you ever scroll

Janice Porter: 00:07:48

through Facebook and you've talked or said anything to

Janice Porter: 00:07:52

anybody about or looked at anyone that deals with HTA,

Janice Porter: 00:07:57

ADHD, you get oodles in your newsfeed about that, right? So

Janice Porter: 00:08:01

then you see that it's, it's very prevalent, and everybody's

Janice Porter: 00:08:05

talking about it, because that's what they focused on for you

Janice Porter: 00:08:07

this week in your newsfeed and and it seems almost like people

Janice Porter: 00:08:14

want to have that. I know it sounds weird, but it's like a

Janice Porter: 00:08:17

status symbol in a way that, you know, yeah,

Barb Hubbard: 00:08:21

well, and I think some people do, I think, you

Barb Hubbard: 00:08:25

know, I don't, I will say I don't like that, because we

Barb Hubbard: 00:08:29

truly have ADHD or anything else right there. There is, you know,

Barb Hubbard: 00:08:37

it, it is unique and it is profound for you, and it's a

Barb Hubbard: 00:08:42

challenge, yeah, for you, challenge, right, right? So you

Barb Hubbard: 00:08:46

do have to be careful not to just say, Oh, well, that's me

Barb Hubbard: 00:08:50

too, right? Like I have this, or I have that, you know, but I

Barb Hubbard: 00:08:55

think that when it comes to to looking for the right support

Barb Hubbard: 00:09:01

for yourself. Yeah, that makes sense and be helpful and and

Barb Hubbard: 00:09:04

being distracted can be any number of different things,

Barb Hubbard: 00:09:10

right? It could it. Distraction happens when you're burnt out,

Barb Hubbard: 00:09:14

distraction happens when you have COVID. Distraction happens

Barb Hubbard: 00:09:18

when you are in menopause. Distraction happens when you

Barb Hubbard: 00:09:22

have ADHD, right? But if you combine all that you're going

Barb Hubbard: 00:09:28

through and figure out what the label is, it can lead you to the

Barb Hubbard: 00:09:32

supports that might help you be less distracted. Yeah,

Janice Porter: 00:09:35

that's a good point that you just made, that

Janice Porter: 00:09:37

there's so many things that can contribute to that. So you've

Janice Porter: 00:09:44

said, you've said that time management isn't really about

Janice Porter: 00:09:46

time. Can you explain what you mean by

Barb Hubbard: 00:09:49

that? Absolutely, yes. I talk about this a lot,

Barb Hubbard: 00:09:53

time management and not about time. Time management is truly

Barb Hubbard: 00:09:58

about energy management. About what is is going on in your

Barb Hubbard: 00:10:04

mind, right? If I sit down for an hour, if I have a lot of

Barb Hubbard: 00:10:12

energy, because I got a good night's sleep and I'm feeling

Barb Hubbard: 00:10:15

good because I'm excited about what's to come in the day, I'll

Barb Hubbard: 00:10:19

probably get a lot done. You know, conversely, right? If I

Barb Hubbard: 00:10:24

didn't get a lot of sleep, or I have a meeting coming up that

Barb Hubbard: 00:10:27

I'm just dreading, right, then I'm probably not going to get a

Barb Hubbard: 00:10:31

lot done. So, you know that same hour, it's the same 60 minutes.

Barb Hubbard: 00:10:36

But you know that how we use that time varies, depending on

Barb Hubbard: 00:10:42

our energy, depending on our mindset. Yeah,

Janice Porter: 00:10:45

that's, that's definitely another way to look

Janice Porter: 00:10:48

at it, for sure. That's, that's very good. So many of your

Janice Porter: 00:10:51

clients deal with overwhelm. How do you help them build clarity

Janice Porter: 00:10:55

and take consistent action?

Barb Hubbard: 00:10:58

There's so many, so many things, so many things.

Barb Hubbard: 00:11:01

I think to start, we have to go back to, you know, what is going

Barb Hubbard: 00:11:06

on in your life, right? That that is is causing you to be

Barb Hubbard: 00:11:12

overwhelmed, right? So one avenue is to work on habits and

Barb Hubbard: 00:11:18

routines. I often call them healthy habits. You know, what

Barb Hubbard: 00:11:22

are your healthy habits? Are you sleeping well, you know, do you

Barb Hubbard: 00:11:26

need a better evening routine so that you can get to sleep

Barb Hubbard: 00:11:29

earlier? Are you eating healthy foods? Whatever that means for

Barb Hubbard: 00:11:34

you, right? One person's then jump into nutrition, and

Barb Hubbard: 00:11:38

somebody else is just trying not to eat ice cream before they go

Barb Hubbard: 00:11:41

to bed, right? It varies. You know other you know, healthy

Barb Hubbard: 00:11:47

habits include movement, right, getting some movement in your

Barb Hubbard: 00:11:51

day so that that's one avenue I also like to explore. You know

Barb Hubbard: 00:12:00

what is going on in your body when you are feeling

Barb Hubbard: 00:12:03

overwhelmed? Do you feel it in your body? And that's that's

Barb Hubbard: 00:12:08

where EFT tapping

Janice Porter: 00:12:10

can come in. Get into that in a second. Yeah.

Janice Porter: 00:12:12

Okay.

Barb Hubbard: 00:12:13

You know, when people calm their nervous

Barb Hubbard: 00:12:17

system, when they have healthy habits, they're much more likely

Barb Hubbard: 00:12:21

to know what the next step is that they need to take their

Barb Hubbard: 00:12:24

it's easier to prioritize what's going on in their day. And so

Barb Hubbard: 00:12:30

rest is really important, pausing is really important, and

Barb Hubbard: 00:12:35

then they can have that clarity and move out of that overwhelm.

Janice Porter: 00:12:41

Let's get into that a little bit. So you

Janice Porter: 00:12:43

mentioned the EFT tapping, so what role does that play in your

Janice Porter: 00:12:47

coaching, and how does I'm quite fascinated by this modality, I

Janice Porter: 00:12:54

guess you'd call it, and I did share with you that I have had a

Janice Porter: 00:12:58

little bit of experience with it, but I haven't made it a

Janice Porter: 00:13:01

routine yet. I haven't gotten into this as a habit, and I'd

Janice Porter: 00:13:04

like to and and so how do you, first of all, you have to

Janice Porter: 00:13:10

determine, I, I'm guessing, stop me if I'm wrong, that with a

Janice Porter: 00:13:14

client, when you're getting started with a client, this

Janice Porter: 00:13:18

could be one of the tools you bring out depending on you know

Janice Porter: 00:13:22

who they are, right, and what they're going through. Okay, so

Janice Porter: 00:13:26

when is this something that you bring into your coaching, and

Janice Porter: 00:13:31

how does it support emotional and mental clarity?

Barb Hubbard: 00:13:35

Yeah, great question. So some people come to

Barb Hubbard: 00:13:40

me and they they want, or they're looking for faster

Barb Hubbard: 00:13:48

solutions, quick, quick little tips. And that's, that's what I

Barb Hubbard: 00:13:52

my book is about. That's in my book, right? So we're looking at

Barb Hubbard: 00:13:57

Quick Tips to boost your energy so that you can get started on

Barb Hubbard: 00:14:02

something, or quick tips to boost your mindset so you can

Barb Hubbard: 00:14:05

get started on something. When they say to me, this is an

Barb Hubbard: 00:14:12

ongoing problem, or I have tried the quick tips, but I still keep

Barb Hubbard: 00:14:19

coming back to the same issue. That's when, when tapping, EFT

Barb Hubbard: 00:14:24

tapping can can come in as a support. So

Janice Porter: 00:14:28

tell my audience what that is, for those who may

Janice Porter: 00:14:30

not know. Yeah,

Barb Hubbard: 00:14:31

so EFT tapping is when you I like to compare it to

Barb Hubbard: 00:14:38

ACU acupuncture. Acupuncture is something most people are

Barb Hubbard: 00:14:42

familiar with, but in tapping you instead of the needles, you

Barb Hubbard: 00:14:47

are using your fingers to tap on various acupressure points on

Barb Hubbard: 00:14:52

your body. And researchers have found that the most effective

Barb Hubbard: 00:14:56

acupressure points are on our face and are up. And torso, some

Barb Hubbard: 00:15:01

also on hands and wrists, right? So, you know, as an EFT tapping

Barb Hubbard: 00:15:08

practitioner, I can teach people where to tap and how to tap and

Barb Hubbard: 00:15:13

what to say while they're tapping, and as you are using

Barb Hubbard: 00:15:17

your fingers to tap on those acupressure points, you are

Barb Hubbard: 00:15:21

calming your nervous system. You're slowing down just that

Barb Hubbard: 00:15:26

overthinking that that might be happening because

Janice Porter: 00:15:29

you're focused on just doing the tapping and not

Janice Porter: 00:15:33

what you're trying to calm your mind down, okay, yeah,

Barb Hubbard: 00:15:36

yeah. And it even has been shown to lower

Barb Hubbard: 00:15:39

cortisol, lower those kinds of, you know, chemicals in our

Barb Hubbard: 00:15:45

bodies that are out of whack when we are stressed out. So

Barb Hubbard: 00:15:51

when you can lower that, it can reduce the feelings of

Barb Hubbard: 00:15:56

overwhelm. It can reduce the feelings of worry, of the

Barb Hubbard: 00:16:00

feelings of fear. So when my clients say like they might,

Barb Hubbard: 00:16:07

someone might come to me and say, I know I need to be posting

Barb Hubbard: 00:16:11

more on social media, but I can't bring myself to do it

Barb Hubbard: 00:16:15

right. All kinds of reasons why that might be the case. Perhaps

Barb Hubbard: 00:16:19

they just don't know what to say. All right, we're going to

Barb Hubbard: 00:16:22

explore that. Perhaps they can't find the time to do it. All

Barb Hubbard: 00:16:26

right. We're going to explore. You know, when in your day are

Barb Hubbard: 00:16:29

you going to sit down and write this post? Right? But if they

Barb Hubbard: 00:16:33

say to me, I'm afraid of what people will say. I saw so and so

Barb Hubbard: 00:16:39

post something and then she got, you know, all this feedback, and

Barb Hubbard: 00:16:45

it was a little scary, or I'm afraid, you know, that someone

Barb Hubbard: 00:16:51

might find out that I, you know, I'm in this new business. And

Barb Hubbard: 00:16:55

what if, you know, what if I don't succeed? Or the anxiety,

Barb Hubbard: 00:17:00

yeah, what if I do succeed, right? What if this post takes

Barb Hubbard: 00:17:04

off and it becomes viral and suddenly I have too many Oh, my

Barb Hubbard: 00:17:08

goodness, okay, great, yeah, yeah, you know. So if they're

Barb Hubbard: 00:17:11

speaking from fear in that, then the EFT tapping can help lessen

Barb Hubbard: 00:17:17

that fear. And, you know, it's, it's almost, it's, it's almost

Barb Hubbard: 00:17:24

magical. It's not magic. But it sometimes feels that way,

Barb Hubbard: 00:17:28

because after a few rounds of tapping, if I follow that same

Barb Hubbard: 00:17:33

example, the person is saying to me, huh, you know what? I am so

Barb Hubbard: 00:17:40

certain that what I have to share is valuable. It doesn't

Barb Hubbard: 00:17:44

matter what the comments are and the fear is so much less. Or

Barb Hubbard: 00:17:48

they might say, you know, I am so certain that what I have to

Barb Hubbard: 00:17:53

share is important, that if I end up with five clients, God

Barb Hubbard: 00:17:58

can figure out what to do with that. Right? I'll manage, right?

Barb Hubbard: 00:18:02

And so it's, it's such a unique approach that we can pull out

Barb Hubbard: 00:18:08

during a coaching session or within the months that we're

Barb Hubbard: 00:18:11

working together, so they can, you know, move past that fear

Barb Hubbard: 00:18:16

and take action on what they really want to do. So

Janice Porter: 00:18:20

do you find that the clients that you that that

Janice Porter: 00:18:24

take on that practice, and I'm assuming it's it should become a

Janice Porter: 00:18:29

daily

Barb Hubbard: 00:18:30

practice, yes, ideally, yes, that you

Janice Porter: 00:18:34

see changes, actual physical changes in them,

Barb Hubbard: 00:18:37

hmm, so I don't personally see the physical

Barb Hubbard: 00:18:43

changes in them. It's not like, you know, their skin color is

Barb Hubbard: 00:18:48

better or something. No, I

Janice Porter: 00:18:49

think I just meant that you can read their

Janice Porter: 00:18:51

aura being I don't mean that in a womb. I just mean, like, you

Janice Porter: 00:18:56

know, you can tell if they're more relaxed or, yeah,

Barb Hubbard: 00:18:59

I think okay, I might notice that they are more

Barb Hubbard: 00:19:03

relaxed, or I might notice that they're holding their body with

Barb Hubbard: 00:19:07

more confidence, right, sitting up straight, speaking with more

Barb Hubbard: 00:19:10

confidence, you know, a more their voice might come across

Barb Hubbard: 00:19:17

clearer, as opposed to That meek, you know, kind of voice,

Barb Hubbard: 00:19:21

yeah, but what I what, what is noticed, that I'm not noticing,

Barb Hubbard: 00:19:27

is they're reporting that they got so much more done, right?

Barb Hubbard: 00:19:33

They weren't wasting time, that they weren't avoiding the hard

Barb Hubbard: 00:19:37

task anymore, right? So it's more of what they're noticing

Barb Hubbard: 00:19:42

within themselves. Of course, I hear about after the fact. Okay,

Barb Hubbard: 00:19:47

that's

Janice Porter: 00:19:47

that makes sense. So I do you do you still have

Janice Porter: 00:19:51

your group coaching

Barb Hubbard: 00:19:52

program? So I do group coaching from time to

Barb Hubbard: 00:19:55

time. I don't currently have a program running, but it probably

Barb Hubbard: 00:19:59

will in the fall. Okay,

Janice Porter: 00:20:00

was this the how to eat an elephant?

Barb Hubbard: 00:20:03

Yeah, so I've had a couple different groups over

Barb Hubbard: 00:20:06

the years. That was one of them, and, no, I don't have that group

Barb Hubbard: 00:20:10

any longer.

Janice Porter: 00:20:11

Okay, that's fine. So you have worked, I

Janice Porter: 00:20:14

know, with a wide range of people, from high achieving

Janice Porter: 00:20:16

physicians to creative entrepreneurs. What do they all

Janice Porter: 00:20:20

seem to have in common when they come to you,

Barb Hubbard: 00:20:23

they are all overwhelmed, and they all come

Barb Hubbard: 00:20:28

to me with this sense of, I have tried all the things and I don't

Barb Hubbard: 00:20:34

know what to do anymore. You know, they may have bought a,

Barb Hubbard: 00:20:40

you know, a video program, but they never finished it, or they

Barb Hubbard: 00:20:44

may have, you know, tried to be in a group, you know, and get

Barb Hubbard: 00:20:50

advice from the group members and the facilitator, and it just

Barb Hubbard: 00:20:53

didn't work, right? So they come to me feeling a bit broken.

Barb Hubbard: 00:20:59

That's a word I often hear, is that, you know, I feel broken, I

Barb Hubbard: 00:21:04

need you to fix me, is what people will say. And honestly,

Barb Hubbard: 00:21:09

my response is always, you're not broken. You don't need to be

Barb Hubbard: 00:21:13

fixed. You are wonderful the way you are, and we need to help you

Barb Hubbard: 00:21:19

figure out what works for you, what strategies are going to

Barb Hubbard: 00:21:23

work for your brain? Because all of our brains are different,

Barb Hubbard: 00:21:26

right, you know, and so, but they're all coming to me with

Barb Hubbard: 00:21:31

that same kind of like, give up. I don't know what to do.

Janice Porter: 00:21:36

Yeah, that's a really interesting piece there,

Janice Porter: 00:21:38

because I'm just wanting to share with my audience that you

Janice Porter: 00:21:42

did a really special thing just after we met, and we'd had a

Janice Porter: 00:21:46

great conversation, and then you did a post on LinkedIn that

Janice Porter: 00:21:50

referred to a question that I had asked you, and I think

Janice Porter: 00:21:53

that's the core of what you're just saying right now. And that

Janice Porter: 00:21:57

question is, how do you best learn right something like that?

Janice Porter: 00:22:00

So so often. And you also alluded to this earlier when you

Janice Porter: 00:22:05

said that they may have, you know, they you didn't say it

Janice Porter: 00:22:09

quite this way, but they may have spent 1000s of dollars on

Janice Porter: 00:22:12

video programs or or coaching programs that they're looking

Janice Porter: 00:22:16

for an answer to their particular situation, but the

Janice Porter: 00:22:20

kinds of courses or programs that they have gone to are the

Janice Porter: 00:22:27

ones that spoke the loudest, really on social media, the ones

Janice Porter: 00:22:31

that had the long sales pitches. And you know, if you didn't sign

Janice Porter: 00:22:35

up there by the time you got to the next piece, there was

Janice Porter: 00:22:37

another button to sign up. All of those, and they're all

Janice Porter: 00:22:40

expensive, but they're all um, cookie cutter, and they're not

Janice Porter: 00:22:44

for everybody, right? And I guess we all have to make our

Janice Porter: 00:22:49

mistakes first, maybe, yes, but how do they then find you?

Janice Porter: 00:22:55

Because not everybody learns the same way, and to be able to work

Janice Porter: 00:22:59

one on one with someone who understands that and can find

Janice Porter: 00:23:04

the right solution for them is like magic.

Barb Hubbard: 00:23:09

Yeah. I, you know, I think that, you know,

Barb Hubbard: 00:23:11

obviously, if they're listening to this right, then they might

Barb Hubbard: 00:23:15

find me that way. But in general, we do jump at the

Barb Hubbard: 00:23:21

cookie cutter approach, jump at the loudest voice, but there

Barb Hubbard: 00:23:25

comes a point at which people say, okay, enough's enough. I

Barb Hubbard: 00:23:30

need to look for something different, and whether it's me

Barb Hubbard: 00:23:34

or somebody else, I encourage people to look for the teachers

Barb Hubbard: 00:23:41

first turned entrepreneur, because, you know, I said there

Barb Hubbard: 00:23:44

aren't many of us, but there's enough teachers will understand

Barb Hubbard: 00:23:49

the power of individualizing things for whoever is in front

Barb Hubbard: 00:23:53

of them, right, instead of that cookie cutter approach, right?

Janice Porter: 00:23:57

And so you've got a lot of tools to work with, but

Janice Porter: 00:24:00

how you present them and with a particular person depends on how

Janice Porter: 00:24:05

they learn best, right? Yes, right, as well as what they

Janice Porter: 00:24:09

need, what solutions, you know, you you think that they need,

Janice Porter: 00:24:12

but, yeah, I think that is so crucial. And I think it's funny.

Janice Porter: 00:24:17

I was talking to somebody the other day that I met on

Janice Porter: 00:24:22

LinkedIn, and we were talking about, he wanted some

Janice Porter: 00:24:29

information about LinkedIn and about my type of training that I

Janice Porter: 00:24:32

do, and whatever. And then we had this great conversation. And

Janice Porter: 00:24:36

then he said something about somebody else that was a

Janice Porter: 00:24:40

LinkedIn trainer that he knew that lives in his area or

Janice Porter: 00:24:45

something. And I said, Oh, that's great. What you know,

Janice Porter: 00:24:47

what, however, whatever you decide is fine. But when I

Janice Porter: 00:24:51

looked at this other person's material and profile and

Janice Porter: 00:24:56

whatever, I didn't feel it was a good fit with this guy, because.

Janice Porter: 00:25:00

Because it was not this was like more for corporate than for a

Janice Porter: 00:25:07

business owner and whatever. But you can't tell people that. They

Janice Porter: 00:25:10

have to figure that out. So all you have to do is really say

Janice Porter: 00:25:14

what you do, who you are and how you work. And one of the things

Janice Porter: 00:25:17

I remember saying was to him, you guys, you know you decide,

Janice Porter: 00:25:21

whatever you decide is fine, I said, but do know that when I

Janice Porter: 00:25:25

work with you, I will make sure that it's that it will work for

Janice Porter: 00:25:30

you, right, right? In other words, I don't stop just because

Janice Porter: 00:25:35

the time's up where I don't do it this way, because that's the

Janice Porter: 00:25:38

only way to do it. It's you gotta work with people based on

Janice Porter: 00:25:42

what will work for them. And that's what I loved about what

Janice Porter: 00:25:44

you had to say when we first when we first met. So yeah,

Barb Hubbard: 00:25:49

and I think too, to add to that, you're not going

Barb Hubbard: 00:25:52

to go in on week four with the plan that you always do with

Barb Hubbard: 00:25:56

people on week four, right? And I'm the same way, right? We're

Barb Hubbard: 00:26:00

going to go into Week Four with an idea, yes, that of crave

Barb Hubbard: 00:26:04

based on where this client is at, this is what they think

Barb Hubbard: 00:26:08

they'll need. But with, you know, with being open to

Barb Hubbard: 00:26:13

whatever the client brings to us that day and and ready to pull

Barb Hubbard: 00:26:18

out whatever tool we have in our tool, right?

Janice Porter: 00:26:21

I remember teaching a client LinkedIn one

Janice Porter: 00:26:25

time, well more than once, where I used to always do it in a

Janice Porter: 00:26:29

certain time block, and then I do smaller time blocks further

Janice Porter: 00:26:33

on. But this particular person, I could see them glazing over it

Janice Porter: 00:26:38

just about the hour mark, you know? And I'm like, You know

Janice Porter: 00:26:41

what? I think we should book another time. I don't think we

Janice Porter: 00:26:44

should do it anymore, because I don't want to overwhelm you. And

Janice Porter: 00:26:49

the person said, Oh, thank you. They're so relieved. Yeah, so

Janice Porter: 00:26:54

you do, you have to read your audience, right? You really do

Barb Hubbard: 00:26:59

client recently, like that. I usually do 60

Barb Hubbard: 00:27:02

minute sessions, yes, yeah. And after the first session or two,

Barb Hubbard: 00:27:07

I realized, you know what? He needs 3030, minute sessions.

Barb Hubbard: 00:27:11

After about that much time, he was starting to say to me, I'm

Barb Hubbard: 00:27:16

done, right? And you're missing out, you know, so, so I said,

Barb Hubbard: 00:27:21

All right, instead of doing, you know, four more sessions that

Barb Hubbard: 00:27:25

are an hour long, let's do eight half hour sessions. How do you

Barb Hubbard: 00:27:29

want that

Janice Porter: 00:27:29

to look? And you want satisfied clients for sure.

Janice Porter: 00:27:32

And you want, well, then

Barb Hubbard: 00:27:33

we want to meet them where they're at, so that

Barb Hubbard: 00:27:36

they can move past whatever the the issue is. And

Janice Porter: 00:27:40

you know, the funny thing about that, though,

Janice Porter: 00:27:42

is and sort of going a little off script here, like sort of

Janice Porter: 00:27:45

off to the side, is that I think that's the difference between

Janice Porter: 00:27:55

paying attention and being able to read your client, your

Janice Porter: 00:27:59

audience, as opposed To, I've got this much work I've got to

Janice Porter: 00:28:02

get through. It's like, it's not about you, it's about right,

Janice Porter: 00:28:06

right? It's what

Barb Hubbard: 00:28:08

you're doing. Yeah, them. And I think that,

Barb Hubbard: 00:28:12

you know, even I started out with cookie cutter approaches,

Barb Hubbard: 00:28:16

you know. So I think for anybody out there who's looking for

Barb Hubbard: 00:28:20

someone to support them in whatever areas, yeah, you know,

Barb Hubbard: 00:28:24

look for someone with a little more expertise, or, like, who's

Barb Hubbard: 00:28:28

a little more seasoned, has a few more years in very good

Barb Hubbard: 00:28:30

point and and look for someone who is open to that idea of,

Barb Hubbard: 00:28:37

are, you know, I'm going to individualize it for you. I'm

Barb Hubbard: 00:28:40

gonna meet you where you're at, right? Yeah,

Janice Porter: 00:28:42

totally. So if someone listening today is

Janice Porter: 00:28:45

feeling stuck or overwhelmed, what's one small step they can

Janice Porter: 00:28:49

take to move forward with more clarity,

Barb Hubbard: 00:28:52

my favorite tip is to get up and walk away for a

Barb Hubbard: 00:28:57

moment. Okay, and I'm not suggesting you avoid whatever

Barb Hubbard: 00:29:01

that is that you're stuck on forever. And if it is like, I'm

Barb Hubbard: 00:29:06

stuck in life right, then that's a different kind of get up and

Barb Hubbard: 00:29:10

walk away. Then it's I'm stuck with this task. Yeah, but, you

Barb Hubbard: 00:29:15

know, get up and go for a walk around the block, call a friend

Barb Hubbard: 00:29:19

and take your mind off of what it is for 15 minutes, turn on

Barb Hubbard: 00:29:24

some music and dance, right? Something that involves another

Barb Hubbard: 00:29:29

person, or involves some movement that really kind of

Barb Hubbard: 00:29:33

breaks that stuckness in your brain and then return to

Barb Hubbard: 00:29:39

whatever that task is, or whatever you need to figure out

Barb Hubbard: 00:29:42

a little bit later. You know, it's the power of the pause,

Barb Hubbard: 00:29:47

right? And yes, like we were saying earlier when we were

Barb Hubbard: 00:29:50

younger, that was kind of built into our day. But now, with

Barb Hubbard: 00:29:54

social media and email and all of that going

Janice Porter: 00:29:57

on, no end, yes, sir, there's no end. It

Barb Hubbard: 00:30:00

created for that's

Janice Porter: 00:30:02

so true. Oh my goodness, it's so true. So I'm

Janice Porter: 00:30:07

going to just diverge again, because now I would like to just

Janice Porter: 00:30:12

ask you a couple of quick questions. And I have to ask you

Janice Porter: 00:30:15

this question because of who you are, and because I just have to

Janice Porter: 00:30:20

so I often ask this question, but not to everybody, and it's

Janice Porter: 00:30:24

because I'm so curious. So I want to know whether you think

Janice Porter: 00:30:30

curiosity is innate or learned. And by the way, there's no wrong

Janice Porter: 00:30:35

answer, Curiosity is innate or learned. And second part, what

Janice Porter: 00:30:41

are you most curious about these days?

Barb Hubbard: 00:30:46

So I think that it's a combination of both, but

Barb Hubbard: 00:30:51

I think that it's more innate than it is learned. Okay, I

Barb Hubbard: 00:30:56

would lean that way. I think that kids are naturally very

Barb Hubbard: 00:31:02

curious, and along the way, they get shut down. You know,

Barb Hubbard: 00:31:07

somebody says you shouldn't be interested in that you shouldn't

Barb Hubbard: 00:31:12

be doing that. Or, you know, stop what you're doing and look

Barb Hubbard: 00:31:15

over here instead. Right? I think that all of those messages

Barb Hubbard: 00:31:20

along the way. And I'm not saying they're necessarily mean

Barb Hubbard: 00:31:24

messages. It just, you know, sometimes you got to get in the

Barb Hubbard: 00:31:28

car and go somewhere, and it needs to stop looking at what

Barb Hubbard: 00:31:32

they're looking at, right? Like it does not necessarily mean.

Barb Hubbard: 00:31:35

But, you know, kids have all these messages along the way

Barb Hubbard: 00:31:38

that they shouldn't be curious, so there's not time to be

Barb Hubbard: 00:31:41

curious, and it kind of squelches that. But I think that

Barb Hubbard: 00:31:46

if you let it as an adult, it could come back if you give

Barb Hubbard: 00:31:50

yourself some time to be curious, and you know, be

Barb Hubbard: 00:31:54

curious about what you might want to look into.

Janice Porter: 00:31:57

Do you think that we should be curious? I decide

Janice Porter: 00:32:00

Don't ever say but it just came to me, do you think that we need

Janice Porter: 00:32:03

to be curious but be able to control it? Can you do that? I

Janice Porter: 00:32:09

don't know. I just thought of that. That is such

Barb Hubbard: 00:32:11

a good question. I hadn't thought of that. I so I

Barb Hubbard: 00:32:16

think that if it is getting in the way of something right?

Barb Hubbard: 00:32:21

Then, sure, you need to control it a little bit. You know, so

Barb Hubbard: 00:32:25

many of the people that I work with are divergent thinkers.

Barb Hubbard: 00:32:29

They like to think they're very curious, right? They think of 10

Barb Hubbard: 00:32:33

different things at once, and like a chess game, they're 10

Barb Hubbard: 00:32:36

steps out on each one. You know? They can get lost in those

Barb Hubbard: 00:32:41

plans, those details, that research, and then you do kind

Barb Hubbard: 00:32:44

of need to put a, you know, a little bit of control around it,

Barb Hubbard: 00:32:48

or boundary around it, so that you don't, you know, miss the

Barb Hubbard: 00:32:52

meeting. Or,

Janice Porter: 00:32:52

I think you have to realize that you're doing

Janice Porter: 00:32:54

that first Yes, right, yes, yeah, yeah.

Barb Hubbard: 00:32:57

So you might need to, you know, either set some

Barb Hubbard: 00:33:00

boundaries ahead of time or or not. But, you know, I do think

Barb Hubbard: 00:33:05

that it's okay to let yourself do that sometimes, sure let

Barb Hubbard: 00:33:10

yourself go down the rabbit hole. So what

Janice Porter: 00:33:13

are you most curious about these days? I

Barb Hubbard: 00:33:16

am super curious lately about I've been reading a

Barb Hubbard: 00:33:21

lot about money mindset. Oh, really interesting topic to me,

Barb Hubbard: 00:33:28

just how we we the beliefs that we learned as a child around

Barb Hubbard: 00:33:33

money and how they impact us as an adult and big time. I've

Barb Hubbard: 00:33:38

been, you know, reading books and listening to podcasts, and,

Barb Hubbard: 00:33:42

you know, going to kind of down that rabbit hole of of, like,

Barb Hubbard: 00:33:45

what? What does that even mean? You know, is the amount of money

Barb Hubbard: 00:33:49

I'm earning really, um, affected by my mindset and what I, you

Barb Hubbard: 00:33:55

know, believed and learned as a kid. And,

Janice Porter: 00:33:58

oh yeah, let me take bully. Beliefs and yeah,

Janice Porter: 00:34:04

knows your limit on on how much you think you can earn, all that

Janice Porter: 00:34:07

stuff, that's, it's, I've been that rude. I've I've done that

Janice Porter: 00:34:10

too. Yes, yeah,

Barb Hubbard: 00:34:11

yeah. That's my latest curiosity. Well,

Janice Porter: 00:34:15

thank you for sharing, and I think that if my

Janice Porter: 00:34:21

audience wants to get hold of you, I will put it in the show

Janice Porter: 00:34:24

notes. But where, where can they find you? What would you like

Janice Porter: 00:34:26

them to? Where would you like them to go?

Barb Hubbard: 00:34:28

So my website is barbhubbered coaching.com

Barb Hubbard: 00:34:32

perfect, easy, and my email is Barb at Barb, Hubbard

Barb Hubbard: 00:34:37

coaching.com so those are two easy ways to find me. LinkedIn

Barb Hubbard: 00:34:42

is just Barb Hubbard, so no, no coding on that one. But okay,

Barb Hubbard: 00:34:46

and your book, and my book is, quit chasing squirrels and start

Barb Hubbard: 00:34:50

chasing your dreams.

Janice Porter: 00:34:51

And it's on Amazon, right? Because I just

Janice Porter: 00:34:53

look for it, yes. Okay, perfect. Well, I think Barb, you've given

Janice Porter: 00:34:57

us a great, powerful reminder that. Success isn't about

Janice Porter: 00:35:01

fitting into someone else's mold. It's about understanding

Janice Porter: 00:35:04

how you are wired and using that insight to take purposeful

Janice Porter: 00:35:08

action. So whether you identify as neurodivergent, overwhelmed

Janice Porter: 00:35:13

or simply ready to build more focus into your day, I think

Janice Porter: 00:35:17

Barb's approach shows that the right strategies and support can

Janice Porter: 00:35:21

make all the difference, because when you build a better

Janice Porter: 00:35:24

relationship with your mind, you build stronger, more intentional

Janice Porter: 00:35:27

relationships in every area of your life. So thank you Barb for

Janice Porter: 00:35:32

being here. Thank you

Barb Hubbard: 00:35:34

so much for having me. This was a really delightful

Barb Hubbard: 00:35:36

conversation. You're very

Janice Porter: 00:35:38

welcome, and thank you to my loyal listeners

Janice Porter: 00:35:41

for being here as well, and remember that relationships rule

Janice Porter: 00:35:45

and to stay connected and be remembered. You.