Writing from the Heart in a Digital World with Elizabeth H. Cottrell | RR329

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Steve, Hello everyone, and welcome to this

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week's episode of relationships rule. Today's conversation is

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about something my guest and I both believe in, deeply, the

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power of connection. My guest, Elizabeth Cottrell is the award

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winning author of heart spoken how to write notes that connect,

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comfort, engage and inspire. And here's her book. Here, does it

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come out the right

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Elizabeth H. Cottrell: way? It does okay

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through her work and the hashtag, heart spoken

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movement, she is she's inspiring professionals, leaders and

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everyday people to slow down, pick up a pen and nurture

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relationships in ways that are simple but profoundly

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meaningful. As someone who also believes in sending promptings

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and spreading kindness through international intentional

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outreach, I couldn't be more excited to explore this shared

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mission with Elizabeth. Let's talk about how just one

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heartfelt note can make all the difference. So welcome to the

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show.

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Elizabeth H. Cottrell: Elizabeth, thank you, Janice, this is just

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too wonderful to find a kindred spirit and have this

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conversation

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well. And we found, I found you on LinkedIn.

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I mean, you write such great posts, and I knew that actually,

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from just seeing heart spoken as you're on your banner, that

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there was something there that I had to explore further. So I'm

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so glad that we met. And I will just point out I didn't say it

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in the intro, that I think people can find you with your

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initial h, right? Elizabeth H Cottrell, exactly, to point that

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out.

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Elizabeth H. Cottrell: And I'll just mention there was a

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wonderful woman named Elizabeth Cottrell who is a scientist for

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the Smithsonian and she's she does really great work, but

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we're not the same,

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isn't that funny? And I have another Janice Porter

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that follows me around, or I follow her around, depending on

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your perspective, in our local area here. And so someone will

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say to me, do you live on such and such, or what year were you

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born, or whatever, just to clarify. And I'll go, no, she's

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taller than me, younger than me, and you know, but we have fun

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with it, and have for years, so and so that's kind of fun. So

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let's kind of start. I just actually got off a call. It was

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a, think, an intro call that they were looking for people to

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join this but this guy had invited me, and I was curious to

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why and how he picked me, but it was a peer group for CEOs and

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owners and things through Canada. And there were some

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fascinating people on the call, and couple of the spotlighters

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that were saying why they were there and why they were peer

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chairs and things like that we're talking about their first

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act, second act, third act, or they've seen their life in

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seasons. And I think for both of us, we're kind of in one of

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those later acts of our life coming from former, different,

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more corporate type of situations. So I know that you

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were in the banking world for many, many years and and where

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the was, the chair, first female chair, I think of a bank.

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Elizabeth H. Cottrell: Still am. I have one more year. There

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you go. Okay, so that keeps your left brain

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going, but you've probably always been the life the right

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brain person as well. And I do happen to know from reading in

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your book, but I'd love you to share with my audience what

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inspired you to write heart spoken and was there a pivotal

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moment when you realized that handwritten notes could change

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lives?

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Elizabeth H. Cottrell: There certainly was. And to be very

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honest, I would say that most of my life, I have been very left

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brained. I'm science, math stuff, and I never thought of

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myself as either a creative person or or an artistic person,

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or anything like that. But I was raised writing notes. It was

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considered the thing to do. My mother, my grandmother's all

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wrote wonderful notes, and it was just something that I

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thought that I should do, and I I did over over the years, get

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lovely feedback from people who would say things like, Oh, I

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just wish I knew what to say, or I wish I could write notes like

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you or whatever. And that just sort of frittered around in the

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back of my mind. But there was one day and one letter that came

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that was like a lightning bolt for me, and it was a letter from

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a complete stranger. She had lost her son to suicide, and I

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did not know her. I did not know her son, but I knew her son's

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fiance, and I had written a sympathy note Janice. I wish I

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knew what I had said. That was before I was keeping copies of

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what I wrote and whatever it was, she said that that my her

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fiance, her daughter, future daughter in law, sent her my

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note, and she said she'd read it 25 times and had been a lifeline

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for her. And that was a lightning bolt moment for me to

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realize that a well written note from the heart is so. Much more

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than just good manners. Good manners is reason enough,

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honestly, but it's so much more and has the potential you don't

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always know. You don't always have that feedback, but that

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convinced me that I was onto something that was way more than

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just a nice thing to do.

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Yeah, that can excuse me, that can definitely

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change a life and and in this case, that letter changed more

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than one life, and including your own. And that's always the

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piece that gets that gets forgotten, right? It also

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changes you and when, whenever I talk to people about cards that

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I've sent and to get them to try this practice of sending out

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cards to give not to get more than their life will be changed.

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And people don't realize it until they do it for a while.

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They realize that what it does for them

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Elizabeth H. Cottrell: absolutely, absolutely, and it's and it's,

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if we can just even back up to a higher level of looking at it,

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it's all about connection, and that's what you're all about.

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It's the it's the building of those relationships. And there's

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so much fascinating science out there now about people who have

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those connections, who make those connections, are happier,

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they're more resilient, they're more satisfied with their life.

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And it's just, it's another tool to help us build those

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connections.

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Yeah, it's funny when I mentioned that call that

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I was just on, there were people there talking about how they had

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transitioned from corporate into their own businesses where they

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were now coaching or executive coaching or whatever, and how

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they realized over time, how they were not happy doing what

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they were doing unless they were helping others, and this gave

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them more opportunity to do that. And so it's something

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that's inside you for sure, right?

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Elizabeth H. Cottrell: It is, and I think that that may be a

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really important place to mention, and this is opinion on

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my part, but we all talk, we often talk about the work life

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balance and the boundaries between work and and our

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personal lives, but there's not nearly as much of a boundary as

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we we either think or we might like to think, and I think so

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often that the skills and the practices and the habits that we

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have in one part of our life spill over and can influence the

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other part. And so one of my missions is to is to make

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corporate and nonprofit and other professionals realize that

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this is not a soft skill that's just for thank you for your

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wedding gift. It's way more than that,

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exactly, and, and, but it's finding,

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especially with corporate, it's finding the inroads to the

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person, first of all, who gets that right, who can then show

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that and experience that, for the people who think it's fluff,

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Elizabeth H. Cottrell: absolutely and not. And of course, you are

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the role model. I mean, you do it beautifully. You do it so

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beautifully yourself, but, but, but yes, and, and, and, like any

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tool, it can be misused and abused. And we all know people

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that are, quote, glad handers, that are not sincere, not you

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know they're they're just using, using a tool to get a get

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themselves ahead, and that's just not, not the way to use any

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tool. So it's just

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something that that I hadn't thought about for

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a long time, several years ago, and I think it was pre covid,

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actually, I had had some dealings with Yellow Pages.

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Remember Yellow Pages? Oh, yeah, yeah. And it wasn't super long

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before covid. It was still around, but in a digital format,

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and I remember having some issue with, I don't know, they charged

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me for something or whatever, and I called their office

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locally, and the receptionist was the person that I had to

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deal with. She could have been as snippy as most of them are,

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but she was so helpful and so just helpful in getting me to

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the right person and calling me back and doing all sorts of

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things that I had the the prompting to send her a note

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after and I sent her a card. But not only did I send her a card,

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I sent her boss a card. Yes, when I sent her boss the card.

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She then, I think she called me and she said she was in tears,

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and she said, I cannot believe that you did that. She said, I

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have been with this company for 30 years, and I was getting

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close to retiring. And so the boss apparently read this letter

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at some event they had or card. It was that they had for her,

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and she was just and those are the things like you go, wow,

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look at the ripple effect that that can make to somebody

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Elizabeth H. Cottrell: absolutely and I've even started when I

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write a like a note like that, if I think about it, putting a

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little suggestion at the bottom to the boss to please put this

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in her personnel folder. His person? Yeah, great idea to

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follow them, because, you know, they just, we're so quick to

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give criticism and bad news. But those, those true compliments

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mean a lot.

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It's so true. See, we're talking on the same

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side of the page. There's no question. So let's talk about,

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in your book, you talk about your notes, formula, N, O, T, E,

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S, and I wonder if you could walk us through it and how it

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helps, how it helps make writing easier and more impactful, if

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you follow this guideline, sure.

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Elizabeth H. Cottrell: Well, I just they're all different ways

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that people learn and people remember, and for some, for some

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an acronym. And I'm, I've got my book in my hand, so I don't,

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don't got it here too, but, but the notes formula just felt like

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something that, to me, made sense and N is for natural,

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because I think people who don't know what to say are worried

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about say the wrong thing. I encourage you to just pretend

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like you're across the table with a cup of coffee, speaking

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to that person and and have that kind of voice in your writing as

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well. O is for open and and by open, at the risk of getting a

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little Woo, woo, I just like to take a moment, take a deep

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breath and open myself, my heart, to what I want the

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reaction to be on the other end. And that that calms me, it

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centers me, and it helps me to find the right words. T is for

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tell. Tell can be very can be in a thank you note. Tell them why

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you love your gift. Tell them refresh their memory on what the

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gift was, because helpful, right? Don't just say this thank

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you for the lovely gift. And just just tell them what's on

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your heart and with a sympathy note. For instance, you know,

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tell them something that you remember about the person. Tell

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them your favorite interaction you had with the person. So tell

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is just, just to be specific and be personal. E is to empathize.

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And a little bit goes back to the O being open. But

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empathizing is not just sympathy. There's a wonderful

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quote I'm probably going to get it wrong, but it says, sympathy

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sees and says, I'm sorry. Empathy feels and says, I'll

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help Yes, I love it. There's a difference there. So you want to

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put yourself in that other person's shoes. S is for share.

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And this goes a little bit back and goes with the tell, share a

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memory. Share an observation. Share the blue bowl that you

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gave me reminds me so much of my grandmother's kitchen, and I'm

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going to think of you and her every time I use it. So that is

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the notes. And S is also as a sub thing for is to be specific.

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And that goes back to what we talked about. Be very specific.

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I'll never forget thanking my mother for a shell, ocean shell,

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like shells, wreath that she gave me, which was very

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uncharacteristic. And I'm not a beach person, and I thought it

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was odd, but, you know, I Yeah, and I thanked her for it, and

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she called me up right away, and she said, I didn't that's they

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sent the wrong thing. That's not what I meant to send you at all.

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So sometimes it helps to get those kind of things straight

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too. Right.

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Now, this is not on my question list, but it just

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came to me when you were when you said something in your

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formula and, and basically, you know, a couple of things. One,

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that if I'm writing a nice to meet you note, or thanks for

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your, you know, for taking the time to talk to me, I do like to

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and because I'm a LinkedIn trainer, I go to LinkedIn and I

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look for something that most people wouldn't notice on that

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person's profile that I can maybe refer to, to show that I

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paid attention. You know, I noticed that you're an avid

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hiker. Let me know if you ever come to our area. We have

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wonderful hiking trails here, or something like that, something

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that isn't business like but it makes that, that connection. The

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other piece I want to ask you, and it's not on my list, and it

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made me think of is I read somewhere, and I, I don't think

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it was you, I don't know where I read it, but it was some

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something about sympathy notes. And it was about losing

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somebody, somebody died, somebody special in your life,

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and you're sending a sympathy note. And this person, whoever

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said this, said that maybe they were religious, and I'm not a

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religious person, but they said something about not to say so

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sorry for your loss, because they haven't lost the person,

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but better to be more, maybe pragmatic, and say sorry to hear

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of your father's passing, and then go into something else.

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What's your take on that? Because I've, I've done it ever

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since I read that, because it made sense to me.

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Elizabeth H. Cottrell: That is interesting. And I did not say

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that, no, but I had, and I had not heard that quite. Twist to

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it, but it makes sense. But I think, I think you have to not

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worry so much about getting something wrong like that,

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because when your intentions are good and really that is to say,

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I'm sorry, is such a ubiquitous and commonly understood means of

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of conveying sympathy. What I thought you were going to say

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was something that a widow friend of mine said, she said I

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didn't like people to tell me they were sorry, because they

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didn't do anything. They didn't cost that too. Why would they

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say, I'm sorry?

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My sister says that all the time, and I always

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say, What are you sorry for? It wasn't your fault. Yeah, right.

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Elizabeth H. Cottrell: So So in both cases, I would say, pay

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attention, and I think it's great that you've listened and

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incorporated that, and there's certainly that that just sort of

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minimizes the risk that that that other person might be

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sensitive.

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And also, do you feel that it might have been

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somebody religious who said that? I don't know, because some

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maybe think that there's life after death. Some people don't

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that kind of thing. I don't know

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Elizabeth H. Cottrell: that is that's an important, really an

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important reminder that, that when we don't know what

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somebody's faith tradition is, just try to stay away from

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Exactly, yeah, exactly is, is religious. But you're

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right. Most people will not pay that much

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attention to what I'm saying or what you're saying, but those

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who do, they're the ones that you know that we want it to hit

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home with anyway. I mean, you do the best every time, but some it

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hits and some it doesn't. So it's true, okay, well, thank you

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for your take on that in now. Do you teach this, your practice,

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to people in groups, or do you speak to different

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organizations? How do you get the word out there?

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Elizabeth H. Cottrell: I have done workshops, and I have done,

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have done sort of live training, both online and not but I would

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say the main, the main avenue for me is through my newsletter.

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Okay, a weekly substack newsletter called this, heart

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spoken note, and the heart spoken note, rather and, and

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that is completely free and, and it, it just covers all things

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epistolary, as they say, I don't know that word epistolary just

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means anything to do with writing notes and letters, and

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so sometimes it's about stamps and paper, and sometimes it's

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about etiquette and that kind of thing. But so that's probably

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the main thing. And then as a for those who want to dig deeper

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and feel like they need more support, I have two membership

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programs. One is called Heart spoken circle, and one is called

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Heart spoken ambassadors. And if they go to

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heartspoken.substack.com they'll find both, but they both. Both

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of those groups will get a monthly action plan, and each

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monthly plan has a theme, and I include samples of the theme for

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both personal and corporate applications. And my goal is

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that after about a year, 12 of these that they will have

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basically done a Master's course in note writing.

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Well, first of all, I'm impressed that you're

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on sub stack. You're ahead of me. I'm like, can I take one

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more thing on that I don't understand yet. Well, I took a

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couple of things off to do it. So, yeah, fair enough. Okay, but

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why did you choose it? Was it a writer's venue? Is that why

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Elizabeth H. Cottrell: it was a couple of things Janice, and

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it's a great question. It is a fascinating platform. First of

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all, it's free. Yeah, it's free until, although the big thing is

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that it believes in writers, it that it was built for writers

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and authors and as a place to to value their writing. And so you

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can then add what they call a pay wall, which I did membership

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programs, and they will take, you know, if you do charge,

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they'll take a piece of that as their fee, but they have amazing

Janice Porter: 00:19:04

built in, built in functions that help people get to know

Janice Porter: 00:19:10

each other, that get eyeballs in front of your newsletter more

Janice Porter: 00:19:14

than any other platform I'm aware of, and it's a it's a

Janice Porter: 00:19:17

community, it's a nicer, gentler, well, At least the

Janice Porter: 00:19:20

circles that I've been in, I imagine if you chose to read

Janice Porter: 00:19:24

only political newsletter, yeah, feel that way. But anyway, it's

Janice Porter: 00:19:28

just it's been a delightful experience. Is pretty intuitive.

Janice Porter: 00:19:31

As far as the writing, it's not as robust as some and I still

Janice Porter: 00:19:36

have a WordPress blog that is there because that's sort of my

Janice Porter: 00:19:40

home on the web, but the newsletter is where I do most of

Janice Porter: 00:19:43

my communicating.

Janice Porter: 00:19:45

Well, I would imagine you can take some of

Janice Porter: 00:19:47

your blogs and repurpose them as well. Oh yeah, awesome. Okay,

Janice Porter: 00:19:51

that's awesome. So in your experience with other people

Janice Porter: 00:19:56

that you have, I. Um, educated in the world of being heart

Janice Porter: 00:20:03

spoken. What kind of transfer transformation Have you seen

Janice Porter: 00:20:07

when people start writing these kinds of notes consistently? Do

Janice Porter: 00:20:11

a couple of stories come to mind?

Janice Porter: 00:20:13

Elizabeth H. Cottrell: Well, a couple things Sure. One is that

Janice Porter: 00:20:18

they find it easier than they thought it would be. And again,

Janice Porter: 00:20:21

it's the whole practice makes perfect, right? That that is the

Janice Porter: 00:20:26

big thing. The other thing is that that I really try to push

Janice Porter: 00:20:30

home is not to worry about saying the wrong thing. If your

Janice Porter: 00:20:33

intentions are good, it's very unlikely and and truthfully, as

Janice Porter: 00:20:37

you already mentioned, people are not necessarily even going

Janice Porter: 00:20:40

to remember what you said. They'll remember that you did

Janice Porter: 00:20:43

reach out, and that's that's the most important thing. And I

Janice Porter: 00:20:49

think that my sort of appreciation this was not, does

Janice Porter: 00:20:53

not what inspired me just to write the book, but my

Janice Porter: 00:20:57

appreciation for notes in a business setting came from a

Janice Porter: 00:21:02

young man that I had bought a product from. I'm talking 20

Janice Porter: 00:21:05

years ago, and he was not more than 2223 years old. He had set

Janice Porter: 00:21:09

himself a goal to be a millionaire by the time he was

Janice Porter: 00:21:11

30, and I think he achieved it. But I bought a little ebook from

Janice Porter: 00:21:16

him. It's not an ebook, it was something he put in the mail and

Janice Porter: 00:21:20

sent to me, and he wrote me a thank you note. And I thought,

Janice Porter: 00:21:23

wow. And yet, I know for a fact that he has continued his

Janice Porter: 00:21:28

practice of writing personal notes, and he is extremely

Janice Porter: 00:21:31

successful.

Janice Porter: 00:21:34

Don't get the wrong idea for me saying this, I

Janice Porter: 00:21:36

don't want you to do anything. However, I had a gentleman that

Janice Porter: 00:21:41

I interviewed a couple weeks ago or last week on my podcast, and

Janice Porter: 00:21:44

he's helped me with a few things, and I he's I, I find him

Janice Porter: 00:21:49

fascinating and intelligent and very generous. And we had a

Janice Porter: 00:21:55

conversation. Then we booked the podcast just like you and I, and

Janice Porter: 00:21:58

then we did the podcast, and I sent him a thank you note. No,

Janice Porter: 00:22:03

yeah, I sent him a thank you note. But then he came back and

Janice Porter: 00:22:06

gave me some information, very generously to to try out of his

Janice Porter: 00:22:12

stuff, and I just received a gift in the mail from him with a

Janice Porter: 00:22:16

handwritten note with his name embossed on the top of it,

Janice Porter: 00:22:20

thanking me for having him on my podcast and beautiful note

Janice Porter: 00:22:24

around it. And I'm like, he's one upped me. I mean, I'm like,

Janice Porter: 00:22:28

oh my goodness, right. So, um, that is so unusual, and it just

Janice Porter: 00:22:36

speaks to the kind of person that he

Janice Porter: 00:22:37

Elizabeth H. Cottrell: is. It totally does. And Janice, that

Janice Porter: 00:22:40

is so fascinating. Use that example because, literally, just

Janice Porter: 00:22:43

about 10 days ago, a young woman who is, I think her service is

Janice Porter: 00:22:48

that she met, she matches podcast guests with hosts, yes,

Janice Porter: 00:22:51

yes. That's what she does, yeah. And she had gotten a note from

Janice Porter: 00:22:55

her podcast host of that she had been on, and she held it up,

Janice Porter: 00:23:00

made a picture of it and put it on LinkedIn, and somebody sent

Janice Porter: 00:23:04

it to me, because they knew I'd love it. And so I and then I

Janice Porter: 00:23:07

could see who had written her the note. So I wrote both to her

Janice Porter: 00:23:12

and to the guy, the guy whose podcast she had been on, and

Janice Porter: 00:23:15

then he reached out to me. Now I'm going to be a guest on this

Janice Porter: 00:23:18

cast. My big point is it's such a ripple effect. And of course,

Janice Porter: 00:23:23

it is just really and so inspiring to hear, and it makes

Janice Porter: 00:23:28

you want to do it too. So wonderful story.

Janice Porter: 00:23:31

It aligns like minded people, right? So much

Janice Porter: 00:23:35

that it just makes you be around the right

Janice Porter: 00:23:38

Elizabeth H. Cottrell: people, absolutely right.

Janice Porter: 00:23:41

So you know that I'm involved with a company

Janice Porter: 00:23:44

called Send Out Cards slash promptings. They changed their

Janice Porter: 00:23:47

name when they finally were able to get the URL that they'd

Janice Porter: 00:23:50

wanted to get years ago but never could. So now promptings,

Janice Porter: 00:23:56

promptings.com and it was always the the mission of the company

Janice Porter: 00:24:03

and the to send out cards to act on your promptings, and send out

Janice Porter: 00:24:09

cards in kindness, right? And send to give not to get. And

Janice Porter: 00:24:14

they never had that name before. So now the overall company is

Janice Porter: 00:24:17

called promptings powered by Send Out Cards. And I know that

Janice Porter: 00:24:20

you know that I'm I'm with that company, and my my listeners

Janice Porter: 00:24:24

know I am too. And I've been with the company 1617, years

Janice Porter: 00:24:27

now, and it's gone through lots of changes, but the message is

Janice Porter: 00:24:30

always the same for me, who needs to hear from me today,

Janice Porter: 00:24:33

whose life can I, you know, make better today, whether it's the

Janice Porter: 00:24:40

sort of customary life events or holidays or special events like

Janice Porter: 00:24:45

birthdays and anniversaries, or whether it's just acting on a

Janice Porter: 00:24:48

prompting that person came to my mind. So what I want to talk to

Janice Porter: 00:24:52

you about here is I say that at Send Out Cards, we often talk

Janice Porter: 00:24:58

about acting on inner promptings or. Nudges to reach out. So I've

Janice Porter: 00:25:03

got two questions for you. But first of all, how does intuition

Janice Porter: 00:25:06

play a role in your note writing philosophy

Janice Porter: 00:25:09

Elizabeth H. Cottrell: totally plays a role. And I call them

Janice Porter: 00:25:12

nudges, or sometimes I call them God hugs. But I just think that

Janice Porter: 00:25:18

that is often a sign to me that if I somebody comes to mind, I

Janice Porter: 00:25:23

try, I really try to capture it. If I don't write them right then

Janice Porter: 00:25:26

I put it down somewhere so I don't forget. So, yeah, very,

Janice Porter: 00:25:29

very important. Well and

Janice Porter: 00:25:31

often, when they receive that card, there are

Janice Porter: 00:25:33

people who have from in my experience, sent me a note

Janice Porter: 00:25:37

saying, Thank you for the card. You have no idea how much that

Janice Porter: 00:25:40

card meant to me coming today. I needed that right, because you

Janice Porter: 00:25:44

never know when it's going

Janice Porter: 00:25:45

Elizabeth H. Cottrell: to get there. You never know. You never

Janice Porter: 00:25:47

know. And that is that is so important and and I think that

Janice Porter: 00:25:50

that when we have and we can talk about this, because you we,

Janice Porter: 00:25:55

when you have a business, sometimes there might not be. If

Janice Porter: 00:26:00

there is a prompt, you darn well better listen to it. But also, I

Janice Porter: 00:26:04

would recommend to people to have systems in place to to give

Janice Porter: 00:26:08

them to a particular system, as it were. Yes, I love that term,

Janice Porter: 00:26:12

to follow up with people. Because, you know, sometimes, if

Janice Porter: 00:26:16

you're very busy, which we hope we all are, you forget to do

Janice Porter: 00:26:20

that. So anyway, that's a good

Janice Porter: 00:26:23

point, and that, though, does differentiate,

Janice Porter: 00:26:26

because in Send Out Cards, we can send one off cards, or we

Janice Porter: 00:26:29

and as we get the prompting, or we can systemize them to go out

Janice Porter: 00:26:35

for Christmas or special holidays that you know you want

Janice Porter: 00:26:38

to send cards to your clients. Cards. Now, the big mistake

Janice Porter: 00:26:43

these people make, though, is that they send Christmas cards,

Janice Porter: 00:26:46

and that's it for a year. And in so many industries, particularly

Janice Porter: 00:26:50

the sales cycle, people like financial planners, like real

Janice Porter: 00:26:56

estate agents, mortgage brokers, business owners, even, I mean,

Janice Porter: 00:27:00

maybe not so much corporate, because maybe it just depends on

Janice Porter: 00:27:04

the on the company, but it always helps, right? But when

Janice Porter: 00:27:08

you systemize them, and you just send once a year and think

Janice Porter: 00:27:11

that's enough, it isn't. It's not enough, no, but you can

Janice Porter: 00:27:15

systemize for four times a year so you touch them each quarter

Janice Porter: 00:27:19

that way, that puts you way ahead of everybody else, and it

Janice Porter: 00:27:22

also surprises them.

Janice Porter: 00:27:24

Elizabeth H. Cottrell: That is just what I was going to say. I

Janice Porter: 00:27:26

think an unexpected note is far more powerful. Whether it's a

Janice Porter: 00:27:30

personal note or professional note is just far more powerful.

Janice Porter: 00:27:33

And so if you want to do holiday I recommend people thinking New

Janice Porter: 00:27:37

Year's. For one thing, it's not, doesn't have the religious

Janice Porter: 00:27:41

connotation, right? And secondly, it's not as expected.

Janice Porter: 00:27:44

And thirdly, your own schedule is not as crazy busy, right as

Janice Porter: 00:27:49

it is at other times. The other one, I do, the other they go to

Janice Porter: 00:27:52

Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving, yeah, which works, which is,

Janice Porter: 00:27:55

and just for the record, for my American

Janice Porter: 00:27:57

listeners, Thanksgiving in Canada, is the second Monday in

Janice Porter: 00:28:00

October. It is not the third Thursday in November. And I know

Janice Porter: 00:28:04

them both, and I think you should, too if you deal with

Janice Porter: 00:28:07

Canadians and Americans, absolutely, yeah, but because I

Janice Porter: 00:28:10

often get Thanksgiving cards from Americans for in November,

Janice Porter: 00:28:14

and I love that they send them, but that's one extra piece,

Janice Porter: 00:28:17

right? But yes, New Year's is great. And the other one,

Janice Porter: 00:28:21

actually, that I like to suggest is, is Valentine's Day, because

Janice Porter: 00:28:27

you can say, I appreciate you being my client. Thank you. We

Janice Porter: 00:28:31

love our clients on the front of the card, whatever it says, but

Janice Porter: 00:28:35

that's because that holiday is not as used, as prolific when it

Janice Porter: 00:28:41

comes to card sending other than personal, you know, love

Janice Porter: 00:28:44

matches, but that's a good one as well.

Janice Porter: 00:28:47

Elizabeth H. Cottrell: So our financial advisor sends my

Janice Porter: 00:28:50

husband and me each Mother's Day and Father's Day card.

Janice Porter: 00:28:52

There's that too. Yeah, fantastic, right? So those

Janice Porter: 00:28:55

are a bit more, bit more difficult to pre program,

Janice Porter: 00:28:58

because you don't know if everybody's a parent or not. So

Janice Porter: 00:29:00

there's that absolutely, um, so just while we're on the topic of

Janice Porter: 00:29:08

the system, way of use doing it, and I do know that that in your

Janice Porter: 00:29:11

book, you have amazing appendix, appendices at the back, Appendix

Janice Porter: 00:29:16

at the back that talks about a lot of different tools. Wait,

Janice Porter: 00:29:19

what was that word EPIs, appendices? No, the word you

Janice Porter: 00:29:24

taught me. Oh, epistolary. Epistolary, right? Um, so

Janice Porter: 00:29:28

there's things about pens, there's things about writing

Janice Porter: 00:29:30

paper, there's things places you can types of things that you can

Janice Porter: 00:29:33

get. And you also have some card companies you don't have send

Janice Porter: 00:29:36

out cards in there. But I know there's a reason, probably

Janice Porter: 00:29:40

because there was a reason I may not have the next edition. We'll

Janice Porter: 00:29:45

talk about that. There you go. Okay, but what I wanted to ask

Janice Porter: 00:29:48

you is, because recently, just a couple of months ago, three

Janice Porter: 00:29:51

months ago, maybe send out cards, has a new offering, and

Janice Porter: 00:29:58

it's called AX. AX. Act on your promptings and then act and I

Janice Porter: 00:30:02

can't remember the acronym name for and appreciate prompt

Janice Porter: 00:30:07

something anyway, I should know, but I have to go look it up when

Janice Porter: 00:30:11

I wrote it in my newsletter last week. Anyway, it's digital

Janice Porter: 00:30:15

cards. And so digital cards versus printed cards. All right,

Janice Porter: 00:30:20

so what, what happened was, there's a story behind it, and

Janice Porter: 00:30:26

it's, I'm not quick to make changes. Okay? I don't like

Janice Porter: 00:30:30

change. I like things to be the way they were. And so the young

Janice Porter: 00:30:34

man who is the head of it at this company Send Out Cards

Janice Porter: 00:30:40

promptings, is also the son of the owner of the company, and

Janice Porter: 00:30:45

for four years he's been talking to his dad, and he's a, I think

Janice Porter: 00:30:49

he's a millennium millennial, and he's been saying, your your

Janice Porter: 00:30:55

mission, dad has always been to act on your promptings. You

Janice Porter: 00:30:59

didn't say how, whether it had to be, and this is a way that

Janice Porter: 00:31:03

the young people might find more useful. So it's taken a long

Janice Porter: 00:31:07

time for his dad to come around. So now what they've done is you

Janice Porter: 00:31:11

now can send a digital card instantly via messaging, via

Janice Porter: 00:31:20

messaging platforms like Facebook, WhatsApp, LinkedIn,

Janice Porter: 00:31:25

you can put it as a link in one of those messages, and then the

Janice Porter: 00:31:28

card opens up and it shows and the card can be exactly what you

Janice Porter: 00:31:32

would send in a printed card with a personalized image on it,

Janice Porter: 00:31:36

picture whatever you want it to be, but it gets there instantly.

Janice Porter: 00:31:39

You can also, when you get that card, it says something at the

Janice Porter: 00:31:43

bottom, like, try it yourself. And it also says, if you'd like

Janice Porter: 00:31:47

a printed version, let me know. And then I can go in and just

Janice Porter: 00:31:50

click a button and send it as a printed card, or I might do

Janice Porter: 00:31:53

both. And the quote that goes along with this, and I want to

Janice Porter: 00:31:57

share with you, is, digital acts get there faster. Printed cards

Janice Porter: 00:32:01

stay there, longer, system cards expand your reach. So we've

Janice Porter: 00:32:06

talked about all three now, and I wonder what your what your

Janice Porter: 00:32:12

take might be on that. Do you think there's a place for it?

Janice Porter: 00:32:15

Because I'm still struggling with it with some people.

Janice Porter: 00:32:19

Elizabeth H. Cottrell: I do think there's a place for it. I

Janice Porter: 00:32:21

think my my mantra that I have at the bottom of every

Janice Porter: 00:32:24

newsletter is, whether written or spoken, words from the heart

Janice Porter: 00:32:28

will never fail you and and I'll give you an example. My brother

Janice Porter: 00:32:33

has is founder of a financial services company in Seattle, and

Janice Porter: 00:32:37

he always, for years, has given his clients a book that he

Janice Porter: 00:32:41

recommends for for the holidays. And the year that my book came

Janice Porter: 00:32:45

out, he gave 150 copies of my book to each of his clients and

Janice Porter: 00:32:50

and one of the emails that he got back several months later

Janice Porter: 00:32:53

was Bruce, I know that, and he didn't say it was that I was his

Janice Porter: 00:32:59

sister, but, and the person didn't know that, he said, I

Janice Porter: 00:33:03

love that book, and I have incorporated the principles into

Janice Porter: 00:33:07

my email writing. And I just got a response from somebody that

Janice Porter: 00:33:10

said that my email was the most wonderful email they had gotten

Janice Porter: 00:33:14

in months. So I think the principles can be applied to all

Janice Porter: 00:33:19

kinds of communication and and it's just a matter of sort of

Janice Porter: 00:33:22

discerning the situation, the relationship, and whether you

Janice Porter: 00:33:26

want it to be something that they are going to it's going to

Janice Porter: 00:33:29

hang around. And I would submit, I certainly love handwritten

Janice Porter: 00:33:33

notes, but I would submit that even a type note put in the mail

Janice Porter: 00:33:38

is more impactful than I agree and a digital message. But on

Janice Porter: 00:33:43

the other hand, sometimes timeliness is critical. Yes,

Janice Porter: 00:33:46

exactly. So there's nothing to say. You can't do

Janice Porter: 00:33:49

both too. No, that's true, and I do, and I do

Janice Porter: 00:33:52

discern like I tested it yesterday, actually, with a

Janice Porter: 00:33:54

young friend of mine who has been a client, and I was doing a

Janice Porter: 00:33:58

catch up call with him. I hadn't talked to him for a long time,

Janice Porter: 00:34:01

and, and I didn't know if he was aware of the digital version,

Janice Porter: 00:34:06

and he's in his 30s, and I kind of thought he would be, but no,

Janice Porter: 00:34:10

he likes the idea of sending the real card in the mail, because

Janice Porter: 00:34:14

he could add a gift to it if he wanted to with his corporate

Janice Porter: 00:34:16

clients. And but I sent him one just so he could experience it

Janice Porter: 00:34:20

and see what he thought. And he agreed to that, just because you

Janice Porter: 00:34:23

don't know, unless you get it, but you can't savor it, whereas,

Janice Porter: 00:34:26

you know, I talked to somebody who I had a catch up call with,

Janice Porter: 00:34:31

and she said she pulled my card off her desk and said, this has

Janice Porter: 00:34:34

been here for five years because it has her picture on it right,

Janice Porter: 00:34:37

and because people don't send cards as readily, so there you

Janice Porter: 00:34:41

go. Okay, we've got to start to wrap up, because I get carried

Janice Porter: 00:34:46

away and go longer, which is fantastic, but okay, what do you

Janice Porter: 00:34:55

hope the legacy of the hashtag heart spoken movement will be.

Janice Porter: 00:35:00

Me, and how can your listeners be part of it? And I think that

Janice Porter: 00:35:02

you've spoken to that actually, I think through the sub stack

Janice Porter: 00:35:07

piece is that the hearts, the heart spoken movement,

Janice Porter: 00:35:12

Elizabeth H. Cottrell: heart spoken note is the name of the

Janice Porter: 00:35:14

of the of the sub stack newsletter.

Janice Porter: 00:35:17

But so you just use the hashtag, which, by the

Janice Porter: 00:35:20

way, on LinkedIn, they don't do anything with anymore, so,

Janice Porter: 00:35:23

Elizabeth H. Cottrell: right? And that that came from Larry

Janice Porter: 00:35:26

Levine with with selling from the heart. Yeah, I know Larry.

Janice Porter: 00:35:29

He's the one that told me, a year and a half ago I needed to

Janice Porter: 00:35:32

use it. No, I think that we have talked about it, Janice and I

Janice Porter: 00:35:37

think the legacy is simply for people to for, for note writing

Janice Porter: 00:35:41

to come to mind when they are thinking about ways to nurture

Janice Porter: 00:35:46

and build relationships. And certainly, I hope that it will

Janice Porter: 00:35:50

never be relegated to some sort of old fashioned label, right,

Janice Porter: 00:35:56

irrelevant label, and, and, and I think that it's not I think

Janice Porter: 00:36:01

that there is a resurgence of interest and and I think that

Janice Porter: 00:36:04

there are people in their 30s, 20s, 30s and 40s that are

Janice Porter: 00:36:07

embracing it. And whether, whether it's enough, I don't

Janice Porter: 00:36:11

know. I have. I despair for future historians who have to

Janice Porter: 00:36:14

write biographies without letters.

Janice Porter: 00:36:18

Good point. Very good point. And it's true, those

Janice Porter: 00:36:23

of us in our generation who were taught to write personal notes,

Janice Porter: 00:36:27

there was no other way at that time, correct, but it was also

Janice Porter: 00:36:31

teaching our children manners and and the right thing to do.

Janice Porter: 00:36:35

Now, I've got my granddaughter. I'm looking at, you know, even

Janice Porter: 00:36:40

though it's not her world, she's got to learn to do that, I

Janice Porter: 00:36:45

believe. So I start, start them young, whether it takes them

Janice Porter: 00:36:48

half an hour to write their name or not. At this point, she's

Janice Porter: 00:36:52

getting better. But anyway,

Janice Porter: 00:36:54

Elizabeth H. Cottrell: and writing to them is one of the

Janice Porter: 00:36:56

best ways to do that,

Janice Porter: 00:36:57

exactly. So I just want to ask one more note

Janice Porter: 00:37:00

about the and this came from, I think you have book clubs that

Janice Porter: 00:37:04

talk about your book, which I think is fantastic. How can the

Janice Porter: 00:37:08

practice of writing heart spoken notes contribute to personal

Janice Porter: 00:37:11

growth and well being? I know it does.

Janice Porter: 00:37:15

Elizabeth H. Cottrell: Well, it certainly does. And there's

Janice Porter: 00:37:17

actually fascinating research on neuroscience about the brain,

Janice Porter: 00:37:22

parts of the brain that are stimulated when you write and

Janice Porter: 00:37:24

read notes, as opposed to scrolling social media feeds. I

Janice Porter: 00:37:30

mean that it's totally it's totally documented, but I think

Janice Porter: 00:37:34

that the very act of slowing down enough to put pen to paper

Janice Porter: 00:37:39

and having to think before you write is therapeutic. It's, it's

Janice Porter: 00:37:45

a it's a form of mindfulness, and it's also a form of self

Janice Porter: 00:37:51

knowledge, because you have to think about how you feel before

Janice Porter: 00:37:54

you can write it down on paper. So I think that we're only just

Janice Porter: 00:37:57

beginning to realize, you know, the benefits of it, and it's

Janice Porter: 00:38:00

radical, in a way, if you think about it, in today's world, it's

Janice Porter: 00:38:03

radical to do something that is in as inefficient as writing a

Janice Porter: 00:38:07

note. There's nothing efficient about it, that's right, it is.

Janice Porter: 00:38:11

It is still a value proposition that I think can't be ignored.

Janice Porter: 00:38:17

Okay, this is a stupid question. I know there's

Janice Porter: 00:38:19

no stupid questions, what color ink do you use?

Janice Porter: 00:38:22

Elizabeth H. Cottrell: Oh, great question. Actually, I have a

Janice Porter: 00:38:28

bunch of ink bottles on my desk, and I have a pen. I usually keep

Janice Porter: 00:38:32

the same ink in the same pen. So yes, yes, but, but mostly,

Janice Porter: 00:38:37

mostly green, and I mean mostly blue and black, but I have a

Janice Porter: 00:38:41

favorite green that I use, and then I have a red one that I use

Janice Porter: 00:38:44

if, if it goes with the stationary or the occasion, it's

Janice Porter: 00:38:49

I love it. I even found now that you can get, like

Janice Porter: 00:38:54

a 678, dollar pen, fountain pen, a throwaway fountain pen that

Janice Porter: 00:38:59

you can get in staples that I sometimes buy a pink or a purple

Janice Porter: 00:39:03

one just to do notes with or something that are

Janice Porter: 00:39:06

Elizabeth H. Cottrell: different. What piece a while back on

Janice Porter: 00:39:09

erasable pens? Remarkable. I saw that in those in recent years.

Janice Porter: 00:39:15

And for those who were insecure about their writing and think

Janice Porter: 00:39:18

they're going to steak, it's really a wonderful it's not

Janice Porter: 00:39:21

something you want to use to write checks. It's not right.

Janice Porter: 00:39:26

Oh, this has been delightful. And if you could

Janice Porter: 00:39:30

get, oh, wait, I have to ask you one more question. What book are

Janice Porter: 00:39:33

you reading right now?

Janice Porter: 00:39:34

Elizabeth H. Cottrell: What did I do with it? Yeah, thank you.

Janice Porter: 00:39:37

So I am reading the light we give, and it is subtitled how

Janice Porter: 00:39:41

sick s, i, k, H, wisdom can transform your life. And it's in

Janice Porter: 00:39:47

all of this Middle East issue I would just want, I had heard

Janice Porter: 00:39:51

that the the sick philosophy, I call it sick the C is it seek, I

Janice Porter: 00:39:56

think so. I'm not sure. Though you could be right. Yeah, you're

Janice Porter: 00:39:58

probably right. It's. Seek philosophy, and it's written by

Janice Porter: 00:40:01

Simran Jeet Singh, s, I N, G, H, who is a professor and a very

Janice Porter: 00:40:07

much of an advocate for for what they teach, which is to it's

Janice Porter: 00:40:12

very it's it's themes that transfer, translate through all

Janice Porter: 00:40:17

religious traditions of love and forgiveness and recognizing the

Janice Porter: 00:40:22

divine spark in each person. And I haven't gotten but about

Janice Porter: 00:40:25

halfway through it, but I I wanted to hear another

Janice Porter: 00:40:29

perspective on dealing with the all of the anger and the fear

Janice Porter: 00:40:34

that seems to be prevalent in our

Janice Porter: 00:40:37

Oh, your country is going through. We won't even

Janice Porter: 00:40:39

Elizabeth H. Cottrell: talk about that big conversations,

Janice Porter: 00:40:41

it's discouraging. And I'm, I'm not a person to get discouraged.

Janice Porter: 00:40:44

So I'm, I'm, I'm looking for tools to help me say, rise above

Janice Porter: 00:40:49

the fray, as it were,

Janice Porter: 00:40:50

exactly, rise above the fray. Last piece of

Janice Porter: 00:40:54

advice regarding heart spoken, just

Janice Porter: 00:40:59

Elizabeth H. Cottrell: your work only. The only advice I have is

Janice Porter: 00:41:02

just, well, there's just a wonderful little it came from

Janice Porter: 00:41:08

Sanskrit writings. It's just a wonderful little piece, and it's

Janice Porter: 00:41:10

called, yesterday is but a dream. Tomorrow is only a

Janice Porter: 00:41:13

vision, but today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of

Janice Porter: 00:41:18

happiness, and every tomorrow a vision of hope. Look well

Janice Porter: 00:41:21

therefore to this day, and that is just to seize the day, make

Janice Porter: 00:41:27

it matter and make it about caring about somebody else. I

Janice Porter: 00:41:31

love

Janice Porter: 00:41:31

it. Thank you, Elizabeth. Thank you so much.

Janice Porter: 00:41:33

Now, how can people find you? I'm going to say is the best

Janice Porter: 00:41:37

place on on spoken.com Oh, okay, heart spoken.com and here is her

Janice Porter: 00:41:41

book again, which I do encourage you to go out and get Amazon,

Janice Porter: 00:41:46

heartspoken.com it's really, really useful. I enjoyed the

Janice Porter: 00:41:55

read really quickly. Understood it spoke to my heart. But it's

Janice Porter: 00:41:59

also a book I will pick up again because it has so many practical

Janice Porter: 00:42:04

uses for what do I say to this person about that? And it'll

Janice Porter: 00:42:09

give me some ideas business and personal. So I do encourage

Janice Porter: 00:42:13

people

Janice Porter: 00:42:13

Elizabeth H. Cottrell: to thank you, and it's not something

Janice Porter: 00:42:15

that's going to put you on a guilt trip. It's not meant for

Janice Porter: 00:42:17

that.

Janice Porter: 00:42:17

No no fire to inspire, exactly, and I'll put

Janice Porter: 00:42:23

the information in the show notes where to find you. And

Janice Porter: 00:42:27

also on LinkedIn, I encourage people to check Elizabeth out.

Janice Porter: 00:42:31

There she is. Write some good stuff, and on sub stack, which

Janice Porter: 00:42:35

I'm going to go check out again now. Thank you, Janice, what an

Janice Porter: 00:42:38

honor this has been. Oh, it's been a pleasure. I consider it

Janice Porter: 00:42:42

an honor, actually, and so glad that we met, and I hope to think

Janice Porter: 00:42:45

that we will stay connected and absolutely all right, as I tell

Janice Porter: 00:42:48

my audience every week, please remember to stay connected and

Janice Porter: 00:42:53

be remembered. Thank you. Thank you. Bye.